The Pick-Up Artist Reviewed In The Wall Street Journal

“Make love, not war” isn’t the explicit theme of VH1′s new reality series, “The Pickup Artist” (Mondays, 9-10 p.m.). But the guys recruited for this hilarious show are so desperate to meet women that they have no time for much else. Their teacher is professional babe magnet Erik von Markovic, aka Mystery. His book “The Mystery Method” is a sort of “The Rules” for men. (Along with some nonsense, it reveals an uncanny grasp of human nature and what women want.)

Whether this knowledge can be absorbed by the eight dipsticks here remains to be seen. One guy can’t help giving off strong, if false, gay vibes. Another longs to meet a woman of “moderately Jewish appearance” so that their children will “look like white people with tans all year ’round.”

As fascinating as it is to peer into the minds of insecure guys, Mystery steals the show when he appears with his “wingmen,” Matador and J-Dog. In keeping with their theory of attention-getting, or “peacocking,” all three men sport two earrings this week. Matador appears to be wearing silver lip gloss, and J-Dog looks like a miniature Helen Mirren with a wacky dye job. Mystery has a long, dark ponytail and possibly uses eyeliner. The overall effect is of a Serbian war criminal in Halloween drag.

But you know what? After the geeks bomb out in a bar full of single women, a hidden camera shows Mystery and his wingmen strutting into the room, and BAM! Within seconds they have clouds of females surrounding, and even pawing them. Once you stop laughing, you can’t take your eyes off the spectacle.