The Art of Erotic Foreplay – Part 3

The Art of Erotic Foreplay – Part 3 of 4
Exploring the body

Body massages are a great way for you and your partner to get in the mood for sex.  It is the classic method people use to excite their partner that can excite us too.  This article will focus on non-genital forms of body massage.  Don’t worry; we’ll get to the genital massage and penetrative sexual techniques soon.  First we have to crawl before we can walk. For our purposes, let’s not discuss the obvious areas like the back or the foot.  Instead, let’s focus on the areas of the body with less notoriety, the hands and the head.

Remember the first time you were lucky enough to explore a woman’s body?  Treat every opportunity like it was your first.  Explore with enthusiasm and appreciation.  There are a couple of reasons it is a good idea to explore the female body through massage.  First, the more you explore the body through touch, the more you will awaken her erogenous zones.  Erogenous and secondary erogenous zones are areas of the body that are highly sensitive and filled with nerve endings that heighten pleasure.  Areas like the neck, back, hips, thighs, and feet can all be erotic areas to touch a woman.  So caress, rub, and stimulate these pleasure zones.  Awaken the nerve endings in her body.  Each woman will have different areas that she finds sensitive and erotic.  Ask her what feels good, listen for feedback and observe the non-verbal cues she is displaying during touch.  She will give you a lot of clues as to how she likes to be touched during foreplay, so study her reactions and sensitivity areas.

For our purposes, we are going to talk about massaging specific body areas.  When was the last time you massaged a woman’s hands?  The human hand (specifically the fingertips and palm) has one of the highest concentrations of Meissner corpuscle nerve endings in the body.  Most women enjoy hand massages that are slow, passionate, and sensual.  Grab some lotion or oil and give her the greatest hand massage she has ever had.  Remember, each one of these techniques should be used with oil or lotion for best results.

-Clench all your fingers/entire hand around each of her fingers and pull away firmly massaging each finger.
-Try using your thumbs to massage her palm areas.
-While palm-to-palm, interlock your fingers with her fingers and gently squeeze, then pull your interlocked fingers away from hers and stretch her fingers.
-You can use your palms, knuckles, thumbs, or pointed fingers to massage different areas.
-With your thumb, rub the area of her palm where her thumb turns into her palm.

Be careful when massaging the backhand side of the hand opposite of the palm.  There is less flesh, more bones, and massaging it too firmly can be uncomfortable.  Don’t just stop at the wrists, the arm massage also feels quite good too.

Women also enjoy head/scalp massages.  There are actually women who report reaching orgasm just by combing their hair.  Many women will rate a good head rub or a man running his fingers through her hair as highly pleasurable (and unique).  Women have also reported that it’s a turn on for a man to wash their hair when the take a shower together.  A good head rub takes some practice and getting use to.  The amount of pressure and intensity should be less firm and gentle.  A good rule is to pretend your washing her hair.  Don’t wash her hair like you wash your own, there is no scrubbing involved.  Instead, use rhythmic motions combined with sensual touch to stimulate her head.  Here are some techniques to use.

-You can use your fingers as a comb and brush her hair and scalp.
-Take your entire hand and gently start from her neck and work your way up her head.  You want to end up with the back of her head in your hand and your palm against her scalp.  Then, with your fingers gently interlaced in her hair, massage her scalp.
-You can also use your fingertips to massage her scalp in circular patterns to relieve tension.
-Take both hands and sensuously massage her head.

Adjust the intensity according to what she asks for, that means ask for feedback.  Be careful of pulling her hair or getting so excited it becomes rough.

Some things to remember with massages: use oils and lotions that are hypoallergenic in case your partner has skin allergies and keep in mind oils can clog pores. Communicate with your partner and ask for feedback regarding the firmness, pressure, and speed.  A massage is a gift to your partner to show them you appreciate and respect them, so be careful for the temptation to cop a feel or venture into areas of the body that might spell aggressive rather than seductive.

Dr. Chaves

Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves

Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.