The Art of Erotic Foreplay – Part 1

The Art of Erotic Foreplay – Part 1 – Making foreplay your best friend

I know what you?re thinking. ?I followed all the tips and advice Matador gave me. I changed the way I dressed, talked, acted, and now I find myself in the position I use to dream about. I?m about to have sex!? In dreams, everything seems to work out exactly the way we fantasize about it. We see ourselves as Casanova or Don Juan, seducing the maiden and providing her with pleasure beyond her wildest dreams. However, all the dreams in the world aren?t necessarily going to help her sing your sexual praises the next morning. Learning how to become comfortable and knowledgeable about sex are might help her sing that song. My name is Dr. Hernando Chaves, sexologist and sex educator, and I am making it my personal mission to make you a better lover.

In this 4-part article, we?ll be talking about foreplay, often referred to as the forgotten step by women. There are a lot of foreplay questions men ask. How long should foreplay last? What exactly should I do in foreplay? How do I know what she will like? These articles will help you find the answers to those questions. Foreplay is anything and everything we do before intercourse to get our partners feeling sexual and erotic. It?s the preheating of the sexual oven; the stretching and warm up before showcasing your sexual skill. Foreplay is different for men and women. Guys may see an attractive image and have an erection almost immediately. For women, it often takes more time and exploration to reach that state of readiness for sex. Be creative. Foreplay doesn?t have to start in the bedroom. A good lover and erotic expert begins foreplay well before the clothes come off and the sheets get warm. Without even knowing, you might already be setting the stage for pleasurable sexual experiences in your life.

Every woman is different, so adjust your lovemaking and foreplay techniques accordingly. To be a great lover, you are going to have to remember things and pay careful attention to details, sights, sounds, reactions, effectively listen and communicate, and have the sex techniques to back it up. Each woman wants things that are unique and erotic specifically for her. Finding these erotic turn ons will set the stage for emotional connectivity and relaxation. It?s important to help bridge the emotional connection between you and your partner to increase comfort, set her mind at ease, and create a sexual environment for her to explore and let go. Some women may want a man to take charge and others may want a man to allow them to feel empowered. Some women enjoy certain areas of their bodies to be stimulated and others prefer different pressure and intensity to stimulation. Some women want long sessions of foreplay and others need just a few minutes and are ready for sex. You need to be able to identify her needs and adjust your style accordingly. Study her, take careful detailed mental notes and find out what fuels her confidence and comfort level. She?ll feel sexier when she is at ease and feeling confident in herself.

How long should foreplay last? As long as it takes. Stop looking at your watch and start focusing on her mind and body. As much as you want to have penetrative sex right now, the patient lover that allows foreplay to take its course sets the stage for the great sexual experience. Studies show that most women lubricate about 10-30 seconds from the beginning of arousal. That doesn?t mean foreplay should end once lubrication begins. It?s just starting. Other parts of her body may not be ready for sex: her mind, the vaginal cavity, blood circulation, adequate arousal and lubrication.

So relax and take a deep breath. If you?ve made it this far with a woman, you?ve been doing a lot right. The next articles will focus more on foreplay techniques and behaviors. My hope is you will read them, learn from them, and incorporate them into your sex life.

Dr. Chaves
Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves

Tagged as: erotic, foreplay, kissing, seduction, sex, women