Phone Game Part 6: If You Don’t Get Her On The Phone

This is part six of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.

If you’ve messed up somewhere in your game (or sometimes even if you’ve run perfect game and there are other factors in her life that are interfering with things), it can sometimes be very hard to get your girl on the phone for the first couple of calls. As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

I’ve seen a lot of talk in the past about never leaving a message and just calling back a little later. Some older community teachings also advocate using a blocked number or, if you think she’s screening your calls, calling her from another number/payphone/etc. I disagree with all of this because, personally, I think it’s really creepy.

Leaving A Voicemail

The way you leave a voicemail can sometimes make or break a set.

I personally like Mehow’s idea of leaving a message but keeping it short and sweet:

“Hey, it’s Kevin. You can call me back.”
“Hey, it’s Kevin. We’ll talk later.”

Keep it friendly and warm, but simple and clear. DON’T do this:

“Hey this is Brian, we met at ____. I was wearing that hat that you said made me look like Kid Rock. I really liked talking to you and wanted to see if we could get together sometime. Maybe I could buy you dinner? Call me back: my number is 555-1AFC. Again, that’s 555-1AFC. Hope to hear from you soon. Talk to you later. It’s Brian, by the way. Ok. Call me! Bye!”

That will NOT get you a date!

Assume she knows who you are (and she SHOULD if you built enough comfort before you got her number) and assume that she will call you back. If that’s your reality, and it’s compelling enough, it will happen.

If She Doesn’t Respond

If she does not respond to your texts or answer your calls, DO NOT keep texting or calling her. One of the creepiest things you can do when gaming your target is to continuously call or text her. Don’t even bother blocking your number either. If she’s already screening her calls, she will figure out pretty quickly that it’s just you calling from a blocked number, from a payphone, etc. Call her from your phone with your number once and leave a message.

I will rarely make a second call the same day if she doesn’t answer her phone or phone back. Same goes for texts: if she doesn’t respond to my first text of the day, I probably wont text her again that day unless I hear from her somehow. Also, because I usually only make one phone call until I hear from her, I will only ever leave one voicemail per day. If you’ve sent her a text and a phone call already that day and she still hasn’t talked to you, anything further than that can come off weird and stalkerish. Leave a voicemail on your first call of the day and then wait for her.

Anything more than this can be creepy and a MASSIVE turn-off.

Also, over the years I’ve seen a lot of guys (myself included, sadly) resend a previously sent text “just in case she didn’t get it”, thinking that even if she did get the first one, she will just assume the repeated text is just a duplicate (people texting from or to people in bad signal areas will sometimes get duplicate texts over and over again with some service providers). Unfortunately, most women know that you’re really just sending her the same message (emotionally needy girls do this A LOT), so do not do that either. You’re not being clever, you’re just doing what every other AFC does. If your phone says the text went through, assume that it went through. If she wanted to talk to you, she would text you back.

Again, I repeat:

DO NOT BE THAT CREEPY GUY THAT KEEPS CALLING, TEXTING, OR LEAVING MESSAGES. It astounds me how many men will fill a woman’s voicemail or send them dozens (that’s dozens PLURAL!) of texts per day if the woman doesn’t call them back. A woman doesn’t want a guy who is going to constantly hound her if she doesn’t contact him. She doesn’t want a guy who is going to “chase” her so much that it borders on stalking. She wants a guy that floats well below her comfort limits and lets her chase HIM.

If you don’t get her on the phone the first time you call her, wait a couple of days and repeat the pattern outlined in the previous posts. If you don’t hear from her again, wait a slightly longer amount of time and then try again. If you haven’t gotten a hold of her after two or three calls (maybe four, but sometimes that can be pushing it), it’s time to call it quits and go back to square one. But before giving up on the set entirely, you can try the Last Ditch Phone Message.

The Last-Ditch Phone Message

The Last Ditch Phone Message (I’m pretty sure I got this from Mystery, but I could be wrong) should be the last voicemail you leave for her if you haven’t been able to get her on the phone. You give her one last opportunity to take a chance and actually get to know you. It should go like this (I basically say the lines below verbatim):

Hey, it’s [Prophet]. You know what, let's just barrel through this. I know it's uncomfortable to meet new people. But let's just, you know, barrel through because this is important. This is how all our loved ones got into our lives, all the people we love and all our friends. Let's just get through the initial weirdness of meeting someone new and if we don't end up liking each other, at least we know we tried. So let's hang out. Ten minutes. Call me back.

Note that this is the Last Ditch Phone Message. If the girl hasn’t called you back so far, there is still a good chance she still wont, but this kind of call to action can sometimes save an otherwise failing set. Once gain, don’t sound creepy when you leave this message. Avoid sounding angry our disappointed, just be confident and upbeat. If you convey the right energy along with that message, it can turn things around from time to time.

DO NOT, I REPEAT: DO NOT sound pissed off that she hasn’t called you back. You should never sound upset that she hasn’t called. If she even detects that you are reacting to her lack of response on an emotional level she will unconsciously conclude that you are over-reactive and needy, and DEFINITELY wont call you then.

Next week: my final notes on Phone Etiquette.

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Phone Game Part 5: Your Voicemail Can Be Your Wingman

This is part five of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.

Your voicemail greeting can provide a surprising amount of information about you. What you say, how you say it, and how long it takes you to say it can all DHV or DLV you. A good voicemail greeting can convey value, humour, preselection, create jealousy…the possibilities are only limited by your imagination. It’s like having a wingman secretary to take your calls when you’re not around! A lot of PUAs overlook the usefulness of their voicemail greeting, which is why it gets it’s very own article here. As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

Your voicemail greeting (the thing that says “I’m not here, leave a message, blah blah blah”) can be used to convey all sorts of things about yourself. If your avatar is something of the “cool, successful businessman” variety, then you can use it to create the impression that you are a very important person in a business sense (which usually implies that you have access to financial resources – a DHV). If you’re a sarcastic, fun, party-all-night kind of guy, then you can use it to convey a sense of fun or cleverness (both are DHVs). Or you can just use it to convey sexuality and preselection which, needless to say, are massive DHVs.

Here are some examples of possible voicemail greetings:

If you have business contacts calling you a lot on your cell, you are kind of stuck with only a few options. If you can get away with it without anyone asking any questions, make your greeting sound incredibly professional, as if you’re worth a million bucks. Make up a name and say something like:

“You’ve reached [insert full name here], I’m not available to take your call. If this is an emergency, please contact Samantha, she’ll know how to get a hold of me.”

And if anyone asks who Samantha is, you can always just say “Oh she’s someone that works with/for me. You won’t ever need to deal with her though.”

Something like this can convey a lot of value. If you are a person who has someone that people can contact to get a hold of you in an emergency (note that it is implied that the important people will already know her number), then you must be an important person. The implications of this fact can be a great subtle DHV.

If you don’t have to worry too much about your boss or clients calling your cell, you can really go crazy with it.

My old greeting used to say “Hey you’ve reached Kevin’s voicemail. Leave your name and measurements and I’ll get back to you.”

One of my wings has one that says “You got the voicemail. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Leave me a sexy message and I’ll get back to you sooner.”

You would be surprised by some of the ridiculous messages we have each received. The trick here is NOT TO SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE. A buddy of mine has one that says “Hey you reached Chris. I either couldn’t make it to the phone or I didn’t want to talk to you. Figure it ouuuuutttt.” Now, if the delivery wasn’t just right on this (or any of the ones above, really) he would sound like quite a douchebag. But he has just the right amount of humor and silliness in his voice to make you laugh when you hear it, so it’s perfectly fine.

This is again a DHV because you are showing a good sense of humor while simultaneously conveying sexuality, and if nothing else, sets you apart from the average guy. If they laugh, you’ve got it right. If they leave you a sexy message, you’re doing it right. If they tell you they hate your voicemail, then you should seriously consider changing it (calibrate on whether she REALLY hates it, or if she’s just shit-testing you). If you get a voicemail from your target that says “You need to change that stupid voicemail thing” in a legitimately annoyed voice, you should probably take that advice.

Of course, the absolute best thing to do in my opinion is to get your wing-girl or a female friend with a sexy voice to record a greeting for you. My current greeting says:

“You’ve reached Kevin’s cell phone. He’s a little TIED UP at the moment *giggle giggle* leave a message and he’ll get back to you when he’s FREE.”

And because I love you guys, you can listen to it here (sorry about the quietness and low quality).

These are all just sample ideas that I’ve seen work in the real world very well, but you are by no means limited by them. Expirement! Try different things. Look for voicemail greetings online and either use them as they are or improve them and use your own version. Just as with any type of routine or gambit in the field, what you do is only limited by your imagination!

Regardless of what you use, try to keep is short and sweet. Nothing is more annoying than a greeting that goes on forever about nothing. Have you ever gotten someone’s voicemail and had to listen to them sing a song into your ear for several minutes before you could get to the beep? It’s frustrating and aggravating and most people will just hang up rather than wait. Similarly, I’ve seen some otherwise interesting people apparently just ramble into their phone for what feels like forever. I called a buddy of mine a while back and his voicemail went like this:

“Hey you’ve reached ____, I’m either not available or I’m asleep or my phone is off or something. You can leave a message but it would be better if you just called me back. If you do want to leave a message though, I check it pretty regularly, so I can get back to you. Anyway, leave your name and number and what the call is regarding and I’ll call you back.”

It was horrible! The only reason that – I – sat there and listened to the whole thing was because I just couldn’t believe that it was still going! But who else would really wait through all that just to leave a message? A high-value HB10 with dozen other guys to potentially call? Not likely! You want them to leave a voicemail, so you want to keep your greeting short and to the point.

Next week: how to handle things if you cant get her on the phone!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Phone Game Part 4: Between Your First Call And Your Day 2

This is part four of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

Once you’ve built some comfort and had at least one conversation with her on the phone already, it’s time to set up your Day-2. Hopefully, you’ve already seeded a possible hangout when you #-closed her, or at least during your previous phone call(s) so all you have to do is invite her to something you are already doing.

The problem here is that different women have their own sets of social anxieties. Some women will have no problem showing up alone with you and all your friends for some chicken wings, others will only feel comfortable hanging out with your if they have a lot of their friends around, while others may only feel comfortable if it’s just the two of you hanging out together in a very public place.

The most effective approach to this is to give her two options to hanging out with you. My standard Day-2 line is (and I think I got this from Lovedrop): “We’re all doing our weekly wing-night on Wednesday, you should come along. Bring some friends if you want. Or, I’m going shopping on Thursday for a new shirt and you could come help me pick one out.” This way she can choose whichever option will be the most comfortable for her as well as the most convenient (she may actually be busy on one of those days). I say almost the exact same thing every time. I just change out the days and events as necessary.

If she says she wants to bring friends, let her know that it’s fine but make sure you bring some too. Girls and a wingman are ideal here. If you can, try to throw in something to insinuate that you are expecting her to bring her girlfriends, and not her orbiting guy friends (I made this mistake too many times back in the day and it really complicates things). But be prepared that she might bring a guy anyway.

You should also be prepared for her throwing out a counter-offer and suggesting that you do something with her and her friends. Do not take this as an IOD! It is more than likely just a means for preserving her own comfort levels. This will happen from time to time, and unless it’s a large event she wants you to come to, expect to just show up by yourself. And if it is a large event, don’t ask her if you can bring someone, just show up your wing or (preferably) wing-girl.

Just like when you #-closed her to begin with, talk to her a bit more for a few minutes once you set up the hang out and then get off the phone. You can call or text her if you feel it necessary during the days leading up to your day-2, but it is not required. Once again, calibrate it based on the amount of time between your hang-out and how interested she appears to be. You don’t want to be that guy that calls her every day before you hang out just to remind her of the fact that she is supposed to hang out with you (especially if, like me, you set your days-2’s up for within only a few days of your call). But at the same time, there may be occasions when you will need to call or text her at some point (like if there is an extended period in between the conversation and the future day-2). In some sets, if I feel like I need to keep her buying temperature up until we see each other I like to send silly little texts like the ones I listed in part 1. Or I’ll just send her a quick message to let her know about something funny or interesting that just happened.

Try to use your best judgment here. What you will need to do will vary from woman to woman and you’ll eventually just get a sense for it with practice.

When you reach the day of the day-2, you should definitely call her to finalize your plans. I personally never assume that an arrangement to meet up is set in stone simply because in this day and age plans can change instantly and without notice. I always call my target before the day-2, usually in the afternoon if our hang-out is in the evening. I try to keep this call short and sweet because I want more to talk about when we actually meet, but it’s usually best to talk for a minute or two about your respective days before bringing up the meet. As long as you don’t come off as if you are just using filler conversation to avoid bringing up the date (which will come off as insecure and needy), it will help you seem a little less eager to hang out with her. The conversation should have the same vibe that you would have with your friends if you called them up to talk about your plans for the evening.

Next week: how your voicemail can be your wingman when you’re not around!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Phone Game Part 3: If She Calls You

This is part three of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

If your game is tight, and you follow the guidelines I outlined in my previous articles on texting and calling the women you meet, you’ll find that a surprising number of them will call you faster than you may have previously thought (make sure you TRADE numbers when you close her).  As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

If she calls you, there are a number things to be mindful of such as your current circumstances, at what stage you are in the set, and what you think will work best with her.

First, make sure you don’t pick up on the first ring. The right time to answer is on the third ring. This can be hard to gauge if you have custom ringtones and such on your cell (and who doesn’t these days), so just wait a few seconds before you answer. I personally like to sing aloud with whatever ringtone I have assigned to the woman in question for a few lines because it ups my energy level when I answer the phone. It sounds silly, but no matter what else is happening, it always means that I answer the phone with energy.

When I answer the phone I typically just answer it with an enthusiastic and warm “Hello!”, or by calling her by her nickname: “Hello darlin’, how’s my Attack Kitten today?”. Depending on your identity, you may want to answer the phone with something different. If we already have inside jokes, I’ll sometimes answer the phone with a reference to that (so I would literally pick up the phone and say something like “I just swam here from FUCKING Pittsburg!”). My wing Wild Card, who has a very flamboyant and zany personality will always answer with “You’ve got GREG!” while a more professional person might answer with a professional “Brian Richards speaking”, as if they are expecting one of their million dollar clients to be calling them. This all depends on your avatar and personality. Just don’t make it sound corny or childish if that kind of humor isn’t part of your game.

Another thing that I think a lot of people don’t consider is how enthusiastic you sound when people call you. When your friends and girlfriends call you, its good social vibing to sound enthused that they called. Have you ever called up one of your buddies and had him sound almost annoyed that you called him? This is bad vibing. You’re calling up your friend to chat or invite him out, and not only isn’t he glad to hear from his so-called friend, but he actually sounds annoyed that you called! And he may not even realize that he’s being like this. He really could be happy to hear from you, but he’s just not showing it in his voice. There’s no energy, no inflection, no enthusiasm. You need those things when you answer the phone regardless of it’s your target, your wingman, or even your mom.

If your target calls you, it is an IOI. If you don’t accept that IOI and she gets a negative vibe from you, you will be reinforcing the idea that you don’t want her to call you. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I want my targets to call me. I want them to send me funny little texts and call me to shoot the shit and invite me to hang out. Hell, I want them to call me when I’m out with other girls so I can build some jealousy. It makes your job a hell of a lot easier when they call you, so make sure you are happy to hear from them when they do!

Note: that doesn’t mean act supplicative and needy when she calls you. Don’t be like “OMG I’m so glad you called, I was just thinking about you last night and it’s really good to hear from you…” Instead, sound like “Hey babe! How are you? … Awesome! I’m fabulous as usual! I’m heading over to meet my friend Kayla, we’re going shopping to find me a top hat! What have you been up to?”

Now, once you answer you have the option, depending on what you are personally doing at the moment and what you think she would respond most positively to, to get involved in a conversation or to simply say “I’m kind of in the middle of something at the moment. How about I call you back [in an hour/this afternoon/tomorrow/whatever]?”

For instance, if I’m with a bunch of friends and we’re all hanging out and having fun, I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to talk on the phone. I’m going to say “Hey, how’s it going? Awesome! Listen, I’m out with some friends at the moment. How about I call you when I get home?” Or if she just has something quick to say, I’ll tell her “Ok, but I can’t talk long my friends are waiting on me.” This can be a very powerful thing to do every now and then because it conveys non-neediness and shows that you are a social person.

Alternatively, you don’t even necessarily HAVE to answer at all. If you are genuinely busy with something/someone, or you really just don’t feel like talking, don’t pick up and call her back later.

If you miss her call or just decide not to pick up, be sure to wait a little bit before you call her back. Unless you are both in a rush for some reason, ten minutes should be the minimum, but you could realistically wait for hours or days depending on the situation. Once again, you have to calibrate based on the situation.

If, for whatever reason, she doesn’t get you on the phone, you should make sure she has the option of leaving you a voicemail. This way you can check it whenever is most convenient for you and decide when you should call her back. You voicemail can also be very useful way to convey a little more of your personality. We’ll cover that in a couple weeks!

Next week: how to handle the time between your first call and you day-2!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Phone Game Part 2: While On The Phone

This is part two of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

The hardest part of phone game is getting her on the phone (see my previous article on that).  Once you’ve gotten past that hurdle, things can move pretty smoothly if you’re smart and adaptable.  As with my previous article, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

The most important factor here is your voice.  You should sound confident and self-assured in your tone.  You should speak slowly, deeply, and with pausing, just as you would in the field.  Sounding as cool as you did in the field when you met her while your on the phone is a commonly ignored concept in this field, but it is absolutely vital.  Too many aspiring pick-up artists can run fantastic game in the field, but snap right back to their old selves on the phone and become needy, supplicative, and sometimes downright creepy.  She can never sense any inconsistencies in your personality on the phone.  This is key.

Once you’ve got her on the phone, you have to think of a phone call as sort of a mini pick-up. You start with a quick DHV, qualify her briefly, and then build comfort. I like to immediately tell her about something funny/crazy/interesting that happened later on in the night after my friends and I left the club that we met at but you could use any routine you want as long as it seems relevant to the phone call somehow (i.e. starting the routine with “So I just go this text from my friend and…”). When it’s time to qualify, try to qualify her based on something that has come up in the conversation that the routine has started if you can. Just saying “So….can you cook?” out of nowhere sounds kind of weird.

Here’s a generic example:

“So get this: as we were leaving the club on Friday, my friend Adam was getting literally DRAGGED away by this…not so attractive girl, but Adam is a REALLY nice guy and just couldn’t figure out how to get away from her without hurting her feelings.  So Jamie (you met her, she was the blond in the corset) just trots right over and starts to pull Adam back to us, saying he’s gotta come home with us tonight.  Well the other girl just LOOSES IT and starts freaking out on Jamie.  She gets all in her face and starts trying to shove her and get physical.   Now normally I’d be all like “Yeah catfight!”  But that’s only when it’s people I don’t know, and Jamie doesn’t take shit from ANYBODY so we all rushed in and literally drag Jamie out of there before things got really out of hand. That’s why I love my friends though: everyone’s always watching out for each other, no matter what. From what I gathered though your friends are like that too, am I right?”

From there, you build comfort as normal. You let the conversation flow normally as you both get to know each other better. Just have a conversation. This is something so many PUAs just cant seem to get into their heads and I cannot stress this enough. Whether its ten minutes or two hours, your target should hang up the phone want to immediately call her friends and tell her about this phone conversation she had with this amazing guy who she really connected with. Talk to her, get to know her and above all, appreciate her.

I like to use the phone as an opportunity to talk about what’s going on in my life at the moment. It’s almost as if I’m catching up with an old friend and by creating that vibe, it creates the unconscious illusion of familiarity. See more about the art of conversation in my article about How To talk to girls

You don’t even have to set up the Day-2 on the first call. In fact, unless she brings it up, you probably should wait until at least the second phone call. If you want, you can seed a potential hang-out during your conversation (I would, for instance, mention something about my friends and I all getting together for our weekly wing-night, or maybe that we’re all going to a certain event on such an such a day) and then just not invite her to it until your next call. By not immediately going for the date the first time you talk to her, you convey non-neediness, and may even just leave her thinking “Why DIDN’T he ask me out after we had that great conversation?” Anticipation is a very powerful thing. Use it to your advantage whenever you can.

After your first call, wait two days or so and follow the same pattern above. If she seems really eager to hear from you again, you can call her the very next day if you want, and if the phone call didn’t go as perfectly as you had planned, maybe wait and call her on the third day.  Again, it’s all about calibration here.  You have to gauge how much value/compliance/comfort you have when deciding on what move to make next.

Next week: how to handle a call from her the proper way!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.