Facebook Opener (Day, Bar, Social Game)

Ok so I have been pressured at many bootcamps to get my ass on here and share some of the stuff we are using infield. Now I get AA on these forums as I know how long it takes me to right stuff. So am going to practise with short and sweet little tit bits throughout February (my birthday month;-) that you can begin using as they have been field tested to the hilt.

this opener (1 of 3 to do with Facebook) actually was field tested in Starbucks, West Hollywood when I was out visiting Mystery and the gang. Now guys if like me you are from the Uk and not used to seeing super hot women, man this starbucks had more hotties than I see in a month in Nottingham, UK lol. But this Starbucks is special as it was right over the road from Vivid Porn Studios and it just seemed to be a haven for hotties.

So there is me beavering a way on my laptop, while being constantly distracted (God I was like a dog with 2 dicks and a street full of lamp posts!)… So anyway I was working on some new Day Game openers and stuff I could use in normal social settings and kept having a browse at my facebook, pondering on whether or not to remove my then recently ex'd girlfriend – well we had split up after 9 months (this was during the end of my 1st year in the game) – I had, had to feel the pain, knowing she would move on and as a hotty would get all the attention in the world and I would have to get out of my comfort phase and get my sarging head back on.

I was trying to move on quickly, but kept getting shitty messages about me and the women in photos I was getting tagged with (IOI? I don't know, felt more like bitterness to me) but it was causing problems with the friendship I really wanted us to retain. I had found strength to move with some great advice from my friend James Matador…. And my dilemma was….. whether or not to remove her from my facebook and all the back lash it would create.

so what the hell, I typed it out there and then in Starbucks W. Hollywood and to get me out of the headspace of where and when to run it, I agreed with myself, the minute I stop writing it, I will run it on the first 8+ that walks by.

10 minutes later, finished, a girl that a year ago I would have considered way out of my league walked by with a vibrancy in her step and a smile that said I am something special (the ones we tend to shy away from .

Here is what happened on that day in its raw format:

——————————————————–
Me: "Hey, let me get your thoughts on something real quick."
[i didnt wait for her to respond]

Me: "How long, if at all, should you wait before removing an ex from your facebook?"

HB: "Well how long have you been split up?"

Me: "Well only a month, but I'm out here and she's touring and I keep getting all these questions about what am up to because she has seen me tagged in various photos while I've been out here."

HB: [slings her bag off her shoulder and sits down] (I like forwardness of American girls) "ooo this is an interesting one"

Me: "Grab a seat why don't you" [neg with playful attitude]

Me: "So anyway, I always used to tell her that if I were away doing shows [open loop] and she ever felt uncomfortable about any pictures she saw me tagged in, not to keep it inside and be frustrated, but ask me and I'd be happy to fill her in on what was going on"

HB: "Oh that's nice of you" [I never caught onto the IOIs until later reflection, which is normal when you are running new material as you are too focussed on getting it out to practise - and that's why you shouldnt be changing your material every week to find the next best opener!]

Me: "woah there, slow this down, by me a coffee before you hit on me like that" [cute laugh in return to neg 2]

Me: You know I felt for her…. a. she was in less of a position now to ask the questions and b. I didnt have the opportunity to re-assure her – so she was kind of like getting a double emotional wammy…. and all because some women dragged me into a harmless photo at a friends party [pre-selection].

HB: mmm she ponders

Me: "well right or wrong I just told her, look…. you're not going to like it, but we are both going to be meeting new friends and getting back to growing our social garden and I dont want you feeling niggled every weekend when you look on my facebook, so am taking you off for a month or so, so we can both relax and not feel judged".

HB: "Yeah that's fair – So what you doing in Hollywood?" [IOI]

————————————————————–

Now just so you know how it all went, she invited me and a friend to a house party in the hills (after a bit of text game later the next day) which I went to with Matador and the host (a Director of some old Movie that I had never seen, but Matador had) really liked us, which in turn added to our value with her. She turns out to be one of the Playboy Golf models (not the Mansion types, but more the everyday pretty types Playboy uses for corporate events) – and has loads of contacts – now I was only there a couple of days, so rather than play and run, I decided (friend zone I hear you shout ) to put her into my non FClosed cool GFs – who has since hooked me up with no end of parties and her friends in Hollywood and LA…. ahh good times, as I stare out my apartment window at the rain of Nottingham .

so in summary:…………

1. Hey, let me get your thoughts

2. How long, if at all should you wait before taking an ex of your facebook

3. let her speak for a moment then cut in

4. FTC – well what I said to her was xxxxx

Nice and simple!

Yeah I know… and in the day time (more so as she sat down indicating she did have time too) or social settings I like to extend the openers as to also demonstrate value with embedded DHVS.

I like this opener as its about relationships, dilema, facebook (I call it Fakebook for laughs) which is all current, your touring GF of value, the fact that she is still chasing you somewhat, that you have your social life going on, and some open loops for further conversation. All in all – solid 'chick crack'!
Definitely in this original format was suited to more calmer environments for delivery.

Try it out and let me know how you get on – lets see if we can get 50 guys to try it out – once 10 of you do, I will share the other 2 versions that I have created since then about Facebook.

There! I told you I get sucked in and takes me ages to type out!!! Hope you got some benefit

ps. any opinion opener I use, is taken from my real life, which is kind of a personal rule of mine in the game.

About Discovery

Discovery is the VA Program Director & Head of UK Training operating out of England. An inspiring International Speaker, he is a leading Personality Profiling Trainer and Sales Guru and has been awarded the prestigious ‘Insights Trainer of the Year’ award against 180+ nominees for 3 years running.

Phone Game Part 7: Etiquette While Being A Busy Man

This is part seven of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

Etiquette is important when you are on the phone.  Proper phone etiquette conveys social intelligence and is a DHV.  Yet sadly it is something which most people simply do not have.  These days, people do a lot of annoying things when they are talking to a person on the phone.  As a PUA you need to be a man who not only doesn’t do those things, but also a man who doesn’t stand for it when someone else does them to you.  As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

One of the most annoying things that happens on the phone is when you call someone and they are busy with something else and not giving you their full attention.  If you call her up and she sounds distracted or busy or like she’s with friends or at work, cut the call short.  Have you ever called a woman and then, in the middle of a sentence, had to stop because she got distracted by something else on her end of the phone and was ignoring you?  It’s annoying and rude and as a PUA, you should be too busy to sit and wait for her to finish talking to her friend while you are sitting there on the phone alone.  Just say “You sound pretty busy over there.  How about I call you back.”  This will build comfort because it shows that you are mindful of what is going on in her life, and build value because it conveys that you just don’t have time to sit around and wait for her to pay attention to you.  If she realizes that she was being rude, she might apologize, in which case you can say “Oh it’s no problem.  I just don’t like talking to someone when they can’t give me their full attention.  Don’t worry about it.”  Do this with a friendly and understanding tone.  Do not sound disappointed, angry, or annoyed.  She’s a busy girl just like you, and you understand and respect that.  You would simply prefer to talk to her when she’s not distracted. 

This same rule should apply to you if things start coming up on your end as well.  If you cant be sure that you can commit 100% to the conversation without being distracted by external factors, then just let her know that and call her back later.  Just say “Hey I’ve got ______ happening over here, and I know how much I hate talking to someone who is distracted by something on their end, so how about I call you back?”  This can be a very powerful because it shows that you expect whoever you are talking to on the phone to show you the same courtesy and won’t put up with that kind of rudeness on the phone. 

However, having said all that, you can build a tremendous amount of value if you ARE distracted by something important that is happening on your end of the phone.  Most of the time, I will answer my phone if I know that she will hear the sounds of adventure and excitement in the background.  If there are people laughing, shouting or shrieking excitedly, or if there is music playing in the background then I’ll answer as I’m leaving the room so that she can still hear the noise but will be able to hear me fine.  The key here is to let her know that you can only talk for a second because you are in the middle of something, but still talk to her for a little longer so that she can try to hear what is going on.  If your target asks you what you are up to you should use your best judgment regarding whether you should tell her or just be coy about it.  You’re probably not going to want to tell her that you’re all just playing Call of Duty at your apartment, but you are going to tell her if you’re having some drinks at a friend’s place while he grills up some steaks.  The idea here is to demonstrate that you are a busy, sociable guy who has a lot going on in his life.  Just be sure to remember the rules for etticate described above when you do this. 

Another important rule to remember here is to never give her the impression that you are TRYING to keep her on the phone when she doesn’t want to be.  The moment you sense that she’s isn’t really invested in the conversation, end the call.  If applicable, get her to call you back, but add in that she can’t call you during a certain period because you will be busy then yourself.  The phone is all about comfort.  Not just building it, but preserving it as well.  She should never feel uncomfortable talking to you on the phone and it should never feel like you are TRYING to keep her there.  In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to end the call before she does, that way you can be sure that you are never dragging things out too long. 

Finally, DO NOT rely on texting for your phone game.  This is another common trend amongst new PUAs: they see texting (and also online messaging) as a way to avoid the awkwardness and anxiety of a phone call and so they only ever text their targets.  But unless you’re dealing with extremely young or immature girls, most women will tell you that a man who texts her instead of calling is probably doing it because he’s too afraid to call her and is thusly is not going to get a date with her. 

Don’t believe me?  Make this into your opener (“Hey guys, phone or text?”) and find out for yourself. Women are a lot more perceptive about these things than you think. 

Texting should be used for sending silly messages back and forth, to let her know you’re thinking of her, or maybe sending a quick update on plans you have already made (see my previous articles on phone game for more on this).  It is VASTLY more difficult to build comfort via text than it is through a phone call.  People need to hear a voice.  They need to feel your emotions when you tell a story.  Far too much of the meaning in your communication is lost in text messaging.  It’s for this very reason that I almost never add my targets to MSN, Facebook, or any of that stuff until after we have had – at the very least – a solid Day-2. 

Well that’s it for phone game.  I think I covered everything I’ve learned here in these articles.  Check back soon for my next article on make sure you and your wings are learning the most from each other. 
 

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Classic Writings: Spells Opener by Mystery

“Do you think spells work?” Sometimes this will send the woman off on a long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the follow-up routine is:

“The reason I’m asking is because my friend over there met a girl in a club last week. He wasn’t interested in her sexually, because she wasn’t really his type.” (Here the woman might say “Sure,” in which case you reply “No, really!” and touch her arm or waist.)

“Anyway, she hung out at his house and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped around a scroll and some feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to a magick store and they said it was an attraction spell. And now, the strange thing is, he can’t stop thinking of her. Do you think it’s the spell or just psychological?”

Routine Stacking in A1 and A2

Whilst opinions differ on the value of having a ‘Routine Stack’ (a structured list of routines), and the mere topic often promotes debate within the pick up community, I personally found having a stack really helped my development in game. For me it was useful to have early Instant Value Demonstration (IVD) and DHV material scripted in a logical order and ready to go, freeing me up to concentrate on my body language, kino, compliance testing and the development of calibration skills.

As my game improved I moved away from stacks, but I still consider them to be a particularly useful development tool for the beginner and intermediate PUA. In fact a year or two back I began to insist that all my new 1 on 1 students developed personalized stacks before I took them infield. This ensured I could concentrate on their key development areas without the variability of them throwing in routines in a random (and sometimes inappropriate / inefficient / illogical) order. This approach tended to work very well for them, so my support for stack use was reinforced.

A well thought out stack can provide rapid DHV uploads, include multi-threading, boost buying temperature, initiate kino, and test compliance all within a short time period and often without doing too much thinking. This is one of the key reasons stacks are useful for those progressing in game. Ever been in set trying to figure out what to say next? Used a comfort routine that didn’t work out because you through it in too early? Stacked multiple openers and didn’t generate attraction? These types of problems can be removed from your game very early on via the use of a routine stack.

For brevity in this article I’ll describe my favored stack format covering Opening and A2 of the Mystery Method, in my next article I’ll continue running through into A3 and include a typical time bridge and number close routine I’ve used often.

So…In simple terms the basic Mystery Method Open/A2 stack format I have used most is…

• OPENER (with FTC and Neg)
• FTC
• IVD#1
• DHV Story#1
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• DHV Story#2
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• Continue with IVD #2 or DHV #3 and Qualify (Move into A3 stack)

I find that if your first piece following the opener provides the girls with something of value (i.e. an IVD), such as interesting information about them, then they are more likely to hook and listen to your following DHV loaded story. So as an example #1…

PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Is kissing cheating?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, are those real nails? They look nice anyway.
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: Its just my buddy’s girlfriend, she likes to get with other girls…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: “Group cold read” – …something interesting about this group, well she seems like the mother hen, always looking after you all, you seem like the wild one…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Actually though, you remind me of a girl I used to know…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah

I’ve not included all the details of the routines, you could use any appropriate OPENERs/IVDs/DHVs, its just to demonstrate how despite human interaction being non-linear, you can control where the conversation goes by cutting their threads when they milk your topic and stacking forward to your next piece. They can be saying anything in the ‘blah blah blah’ areas, but in the end I’m gonna get my next important IVD/DHV piece across regardless. Another example…

PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Who lies more, men or women?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, how short are you?
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: I saw an article today talking about how often men / women lie…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: ….You have a C shaped smile…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Hey get this, last time I was in this place the craziest thing happened…etc
HB’s: blah blah blah

Straightforward and effective, first 5 or 6 minutes of the interaction accomplished time and time again.

In summary, its my view that a stack allows you to plan the early stages of your interactions, making them efficient by ensuring the set has heard your key leader/protector/pre-selection attraction material without you having to think too much about how to get this info across. I’ve found this can remove some of the variability of your first few hundred sets and frees you up to notice whats going on with body language, IOI’s, compliance levels etc.

Big Love,

Caddy

Caddy@venusianarts.com

More on Opening

More on Opening

In my previous article I talked about opening. One of the important things I did not mention is that I think it is important to stay completely sober when you game and not drink at all. Many guys have liquid courage and can only approach or game while drinking. This is a huge crutch because you will condition yourself to only being able to game when you are drinking. Then you might have trouble running day game or be uncomfortable in environments where alcohol is not involved. Also, alcohol gives everyone bad breath and that can instantly blow a set. Another tendency guys tend to have is holding their drinks up to their chest when they are drinking. This is closed off body language and every AFC in the club does this. Do not be that guy. If you have a drink, or water, hold it down at waist level at all times.

Opening in a loud club can be quite challenging. You must talk loud enough so you are heard without shouting to the point where you sacrifice too much vocal tonality. A good way to get the sets attention is to gently tap them with the outside of your hand to initiate kino. They will turn into you and then you can run your opener.

I use different openers at the clubs than I use during the day. I use very short openers in the clubs because it is so loud and people have short attention spans and there is so much other stimulation out there that you have to get someone’s attention quickly.

It is good to have several different openers ready to use. You need one to open the set, one to merge sets and one in case you need to handle an interrupt. I have a default opener and two backup openers. My default opener is Mystery‘s 80s song opener. Since this is not really an opinion opener, I still use it frequently. I find this opener is great on both mixed and all female sets and people also laugh if you intentionally sing out of key.

Here is the dialogue I would say when using this opener:

Hey Guys, 80s song, I heard this on the radio today! I cannot get the song out of my head! Who sings this song, you spin me round, round baby, round, round, like a record, baby round….

If they do not know, I sometimes throw in a neg like, a lot of help you are!

I will then say, well my mom thought it was Lionel Richie, but I do not think it is Lionel Richie. A lot of younger women ask who is Lionel Richie, so then I neg them again and say, Lionel Richie is a singer, Nicole Richies dad! HEEEELLLOOO! This will get several laugh tracks. I say the opener with enthusiasm, and a lot of energy, as I try to sing it, intentionally off key to make it funnier, but I really do not care if they know the song or who sings it. The only purpose of my opener and any opener is to open the set, so I can transition directly into A2.

-Hawaii

About Hawaii

Hawaii is a VA Coach operating out of Las Vegas. He has instructed at nearly fifty (50) live bootcamps and seminars and trained hundreds of students over 3 years working for Mystery. He traveled with Mystery and Matador for more than a year and taught at over 25 bootcamps as an approach coach during his training period before becoming a lead instructor at over a dozen bootcamps. Not the typical player, Hawaii is a short, skinny, 30-something, average looking Asian guy, former accountant, who transformed himself into someone who is successful with women after years of practice working thousands of sets. Hawaii is Mystery's former Personal Assistant and has been working with him for 3 years since August 2005. In addition, Hawaii trained all of the students on season 2 of VH-1's The Pickup Artist as an off-camera Instructor for the entire duration of filming.

Hawaii on Opening

I have opened more sets than I can count but my best estimate is around 10,000 cold approach sets. When I first moved to Vegas over 4 years ago, I went out 7 days a week for at least 4 hours a day and just opened constantly. There are endless sets in Vegas so someone could easily open over a 100 sets a day in only a few short hours. The sets are not just in the clubs here, but literally everywhere on the Strip.

When I first started in the game I used the David Bowie opener, and the 80s song opener. I used these openers so many times that girls called me out on it weeks later. One time Mystery and I were walking through Treasure Island several years ago and a girl walked by me, pointed at me and said, ?Hey, it?s the David Bowie guy!? I had no idea who she was but she certainly recognized me from the opener that I had run on several hundred sets.

I stopped using opinion type openers after a while because I realized that they were too long and the set would take too long to give their opinion. I was in fact ?milking? the opener. You should never milk your opener. Most new guys spend too much time on the opener and sometimes don?t even get into A2; they get blown out on the opener because it is too long, boring, etc. I never get blown out anymore on the opener because the openers I use are so short and I transition directly into A2 right after the opener without hesitating. The only purpose of the opener is to open the set so you can transition into A2. I soon found that the best openers are the shortest.

The most important thing when opening is your body language, tonality and facial expressions. It is best to open over the shoulder when possible. You should smile before you open and say anything, then once you start talking, don?t smile too much because it is too try hard. You should use a warm, friendly tone while body rocking in and out to which is a nonverbal false time constraint. This gives the appearance that you are leaving and not staying long. This nonverbal false time constraint can be coupled with a verbal false time constraint such as ?I can only stay for a second, I have my friends here.?

When opening, it is much more important how you say something that what you actually say. So many guys get caught up in and stuck on the opener. If you are looking for the perfect opener there isn?t one. Sometimes now I will just say in Mystery?s tonality ?Hello, Hello? as my opener. That?s it, and then I will transition directly into A2. I will talk a lot more about opening in future articles. If you have any specific questions on opening or inquires about training email me at Hawaii@venusianarts.com or call me at 702-286-7785

Hawaii

About Hawaii

Hawaii is a VA Coach operating out of Las Vegas. He has instructed at nearly fifty (50) live bootcamps and seminars and trained hundreds of students over 3 years working for Mystery. He traveled with Mystery and Matador for more than a year and taught at over 25 bootcamps as an approach coach during his training period before becoming a lead instructor at over a dozen bootcamps. Not the typical player, Hawaii is a short, skinny, 30-something, average looking Asian guy, former accountant, who transformed himself into someone who is successful with women after years of practice working thousands of sets. Hawaii is Mystery's former Personal Assistant and has been working with him for 3 years since August 2005. In addition, Hawaii trained all of the students on season 2 of VH-1's The Pickup Artist as an off-camera Instructor for the entire duration of filming.