The Venusian Arts » neg http://www.venusianarts.com Mystery, Matador, Lovedrop, from VH1’s The Pick-Up Artist | Author of The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed & THE PICKUP ARTIST: THE NEW AND IMPROVED ART OF SEDUCTION Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:09:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Flirting http://www.venusianarts.com/flirting/ http://www.venusianarts.com/flirting/#comments Sun, 07 Aug 2011 20:46:19 +0000 Renaissan http://www.venusianarts.com/?p=4267 flirting

The key to attraction is flirting. Mystery calls it negging, David DeAngelo calls it cocky-funny, and Lance Mason calls it bantering. Whatever the name, they’re different forms of flirting. Of course, having your inner-game and body language together is important. That’s how you sub-communicate your confidence. But if you don’t spark sexual tension with a girl, you won’t spark physical attraction in her. And the best way to create sexual tension, especially in indirect game, is by flirting. But what is flirting and how do you do it? Oh my God, you don’t know? I don’t know if we can hang out anymore. *smile.* I’m playing, I’m playing. Seriously though, isn’t it funny how girls know EXACTLY what flirting is, but guys are COMPLETELY clueless about it? For me personally, I’ve had to work hard to understand what it is. Actually, the reason I’m writing this article is to better understand it myself. WHAT IS FLIRTING? Flirting is simply being playful. But it’s a special kind of playing. When kids play with each other, they don’t try to accomplish anything. All they’re interested in is playing games. They take on pretend roles effortlessly and let their imaginations run free. Ultimately their play is meaningless, it’s just to have fun. They’re not out to win or get something or dominate each other. They play just to be in the “zone” together. (credit: Ron Louis and David Copeland, “how to succeed with women”) Women play together in a certain way. They might gossip, shop, talk about relationships, cry, go to a spa, bond over food and crafts, try to be build each other up or be nice to each other, or whatever. Men play together in a different way. We compete with each other, play jokes on each other, talk about hot women, push each other around, exaggerate how awesome we are, insult each other, talk shop, and do whacked up things like light our farts on fire. When men and women play together, they flirt. It’s not the way men play because you’re not going to fart in a coffee cup, put a lid on it, and give it to her to smell. You’re not going to tell her how fat and disgusting she looks so you can laugh at her or talk about sports with her. You’re not going to get into a spitting contest or punch her arm or push her around. You’re not going to talk about facts, and analyze the mid-east crisis. Instead, you’re nicer. And more importantly, you throw sex and romance into your play. Flirting is sexual/romantic playing. WHY GIRLS KNOW WHAT FLIRTING IS, BUT GUYS DON’T For a guy, when we want sex, we wouldn’t mind saying “Wanna have sex? Great. Here’s the bathroom.” That would be direct and factual. Women, on the other hand, prefer indirect, emotional communication. And flirting is indirect and emotional. Flirting lets her know you’re sexually interested in her PLAYFULLY. You make your sexual desire known in a way that’s not obvious to everyone else. She can laugh your sexual interest off as if it’s not really there, but subconsciously she feels your sexual feeling, and feels it in turn with you. That’s being indirect, emotional, and that’s flirting. Girls know what flirting is, but guys don’t because girls prefer indirect, emotional communication, where guys prefer direct, factual communication. I know that’s a generalization, but it helps make this point. To heat her up and make our sexual interest known more effectively, we guys need to communicate our interest in a woman in her language. Flirting is that indirect, emotional language. In a way, flirting is kind of like the way women play together. There’s no talk of gross, disgusting things. No put downs or insults. No violence or anything that might cause physical harm. No self-deprecation—unless it’s obviously not true. It’s gentler, cleaner, sweeter, lighter. Smile. Talk about things that she might like to talk about. Ask her things about herself, describe feelings she’d love to feel as a woman, and say things that build her self-esteem up and make her feel good about herself. You’re playing the way women do, but in a masculine way. I know it makes no sense. So, let me explain. HOW TO FLIRT Okay, so kids take on pretend roles effortlessly and let their imaginations run free, right? When you flirt, it’s the same thing. What pretend role should you take on? A dominant one that makes the girl feel cute. You’re the man, and she’s the girl. I know that may sound obvious but where some guys are too direct with their sexual interest, other guys try to make a girl feel comfortable by being completely neutral and being no sexual threat. But if we’re not neutral sexually yet honest about our sexuality indirectly, this naturally creates what David Deida of “The Way of the Superior Man” called sexual polarity. Just as a battery needs a positive and negative charge to create energy, a sexually charged interaction needs distinct masculine and feminine sexual roles to create sexual energy. This dominant vs. petite role is the sexual/romantic ingredient that distinguishes flirting from mere play. AND the story line you act out is you guys don’t get along…there’s tension between the two of you. Conflict. Fight. You see something wrong with her that’s obviously not true. Mix these two ingredients together, and voila! You create sexual tension. Usually the role we take on with women is she’s the selector and we’re the selectee. We want to make sure we’re doing okay in her eyes. “Am I doing okay?” Guys will actually ask a girl this on a first date. Don’t do this. Instead, when you flirt, flip these roles upside down. YOU be the selector and SHE can be the selectee. For once, YOU’RE the one who’s not completely sure about her yet, and SHE’S the one who wants YOU. Hahahaha! I love it love it love it. This is the best way to deal with her shit tests, too. See everything she does, including her shit tests, as cute. “Oh my God, that’s so cute. You want me so bad. Anyway…” Don’t take what she says literally but imagine it to mean something else having to do with your dominance. Then change the subject. So, again, what role should you take on? You can imagine you’re the Ladies’ Man all the girls want, and this girl you just met is trying to get with you. “Oh God, if you wanted my number already, all you had to do was ask!” or “Hey, hey, hey. Hands off the merchandise. This shit ain’t for free. That’ll be forty dollars, missy.” Or pretend to be the Hot Woman, so that she’s one of the billions of “guys” trying to pick you up. “Quit looking at me like that. You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger. It’s creeping me out.” Or “Quit looking at my chest! My eyes are up here. God, all you girls think about is one thing.” Or imagine you’re an Authority Figure, like the principal: “That’s it. You’ve just earned yourself detention.” Or the recruiter: “You’re hired. I’m making you my new bodyguard.” Or the teacher: “Let me see you flirt. Wow, now that was terrible. It actually made me go gay there for a second.” In each of these roles, you’re pretending to be another character. The character you take on is the dominant one and the girl is smaller than you. AND you’re fighting with her, pushing her away. I mean she’s chasing you after all, right? This is just wrong! There’s some sort of conflict or negative thing going on here. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You couldn’t possibly pull this off with a girl you just met because it’s negative. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. Here are three keys to make the negativity and conflict work. First, the idea of character and ACTING is key to making flirting work. It’s not just the words that make it work. It’s that you’re actually ACTING OUT a character. With all the gestures, facial expressions, and voice tone of the character. The comedy comes less from the words and more from the character you portray. That’s what makes it obvious PLAY. It’s not true. It’s make-believe. It’s like you’re on stage and you and the woman are actors pretending to be other people. By the way, acting out characters TOGETHER is bonus. You and the girl are INTERACTING, doing an activity TOGETHER. She’s not just some passive bystander. You and this hot chick are now in the sandbox again as if the two of you were six again. She’s no longer sitting uncomfortably high up on a pedestal. By doing a meaningless activity WITH HER, you create the same un-self-conscious feeling of being in the “zone” together that the two of you felt as kids. Second, touch and smile when you flirt. Touch allows you to get away with anything. Touch is such a warm, intimate thing that when you mix it with words of conflict, on a visceral level the woman knows in reality you’re being warm, not mean. A quick touch on her arm before you say your line can make all the difference in the world. And same goes with smiling. Smiling communicates warmth and friendliness, so if you say these lines through laughter or a playful facial expression it tempers the words of conflict with the feeling of play and togetherness. Third, use the tools of creative misinterpretation and exaggeration to make it clear you’re playing. Creative misinterpretation: “It? You want to do IT? Jeez, at least buy me a drink first. And just to let you know I wore my old briefs tonight to make sure nothing would happen. Just so you know.” The misinterpretation signals you’re playing, not taking what she says literally. Exaggeration: “You’re asking if I have a girlfriend? (depressed) No. (happy) I have 8 girlfriends! (dismissive) Yeah, it’s no big deal, it’s no big whoop. They all get together and swap recipes so they can learn how to cook my favorite food.” (credit: Brad P) Stretching the truth sends the message that what you’re saying isn’t literal or factual. So, do you see what I’m saying now that you’re playing the way women play together but as the man? You’re playing nice, making her feel good feelings yet at the same time you’re creating conflict and playing the dominant role. OTHER GUIDELINES Flirting must be done within the first five seconds of your approach. I heard Lance Mason once say, your flirting line must be the SECOND SENTENCE out of your mouth. Snap judgments happen so fast that if you don’t flirt IMMEDIATELY, you’ll be thrown into the category she puts every other chump into that’s approached her. Also, if you try to flirt after you’ve been talking for a bit, it comes off as weird. There’s a certain sequence in the mating dance, and playful pleasantries is one of the first steps. Set that playful tone right from the start. Flirting is like cooking oil when cooking a dish. You don’t put the ingredients into the pan first, and put the oil in afterwards. You’ll burn out the ingredients. You put the oil in the pan first. The simmering juice is what gels the other ingredients together, and prevents them from drying up and burning out. Or it’s like putting the car in first gear to get it moving. You can’t go from a parked car to fifth gear. And you don’t start exercising by sprinting full speed. You’ve got to ignite the engine first, and you’ve got to warm up your body with something light before going intense. Play talk is the bridge from “stranger” to connection. Also, flirting must not last forever. Otherwise you become the dancing monkey. Playfulness should last no more than a few minutes; then move onto some substance. You could use your pretend world as springboard to share something about yourself and something to ask her about. For instance, if the two of you just pretended you’d run off to Vegas for an Elvis wedding, you could share an impulsive story with her and ask her “What’s the most impulsive thing you’ve ever done?” And later during comfort, you can still always sprinkle more of the playful flirting in. The first time I followed these guidelines, I had number-closed five girls in a row with one of them turning into an F-close. It blew my mind how well flirting works. It was a game changer and a life changer. But when I’ve neglected to follow these guidelines my interactions would consistently fall flat. Ever since I make sure to flirt right from the start and not make it last forever. Flirting makes it so much easier to get to the comfort/connection phase. It just creates such good, positive energy and the momentum you need to move to where you need to go. You create a sexually charged foundation. ANOTHER WAY TO FLIRT Another way to flirt is to be overtly romantic. This works best a little further down the interaction, once she’s gotten a sense of who you are. Again, you still create an imaginary world with her in this way of flirting. The difference is you’re no longer pushing her away, but pulling her towards you. You can talk about the future together, or your make-believe past together, future dates, create imaginary memories and adventures to have together: “You know what we’re going to do? We’re totally going to the beach together. You’ll dress up in a nun outfit and I’ll dress up in a priest outfit, and we’ll make out in front of everyone. People would be like ‘what the fuck?’ It’ll be a blast.” You can describe great feelings such as romance, attraction, arousal so she can imagine and feel them for herself, or describe idyllic scenarios that she’d love to experience. You can ask her open-ended questions about herself, like “what’s the story behind that?” so she can talk. Always make her feel cute, pretty, petite, and sexy. Basically, you’re making her feel like a woman and making her feel romantic feelings—playfully. But you’re no longer playing the role of rejecter. You’re almost playing the role of boyfriend even though you’re not together yet, which makes her feel those boyfriend feelings of togetherness with you. YOUR GOAL IN FLIRTING Your goal in flirting is to make her laugh, and make her feel romantic feelings. You’re subtly getting her used to the idea of being sexual/romantic with you. And you want to connect the idea of you with pleasure. We all know a woman responds more to her emotions than her logical mind. So, flirt in order to give her happy emotions. Give her “feeling good.” Flirting creates happiness in her. She’ll in turn associate those good feelings to you, and want to see you. At the same time, it’s also a great way for you to screen her and see if she’s someone you’d actually like to get to know. If she doesn’t flirt back with you, maybe this isn’t a girl you really want to sleep with. It’s also a great way to distinguish yourself and show her why she should be talking to you more than any other guy there. ACTION PLAN 1. Gather a list of 10 of your favorite flirting lines. I’ve included some above. Here are some others to get you started: “You look familiar. Have we had sex?” "You're such a brat." “I can already tell you and I are NOT going to get along. I might have to put you into my friend zone.” “Wait a sec, you’re Republican, aren’t you? I’m not sure if I can talk with you anymore.” “She looks sweet and innocent but something tells me she’s not. Kinda scared actually.” “Note to self: do not date this girl.” “That’s it we’re breaking up. You keep the cat and I’ll keep the CDs.” “Nice nails, are they real? Oh. Well. I guess they still look good.” 2. Pick one or two flirting lines, no more than two. 3. Figure out the character and storyline behind each line. 4. Practice the character behind the line in the mirror with touch. ACT out the character behind the line with the voice imitations, gestures, and facial expressions. 5. When you go out in the field, make sure you touch her first before delivering the line. And make sure the line is the SECOND SENTENCE you say. You can continue with your stack afterwards. But flirting is no longer an option in your stack. It’s a requirement. 6. Practice this line at least five times in the field or until it feels natural. 7. Now, expand on your line and improvise pretending to be the character. For example, if your line is “You’re my new girlfriend. Wait a second. Can you cook?” you can expand it by saying “…because I can’t be eating spaghetti every night. Can you cook anything good? Oh, okay. Well in that case, MAYBE we could get along. *smile*” Or, whatever your imagination might come up with. 8. After you’ve made this line part of you, choose another line to master. But make sure to practice only one or two lines at a time. Go for quality of delivery and for making it your own. Don’t go for quantity. Too many lines cause paralysis. 9. Learn two new banter lines per week and repeat the process. (credit: Lance Mason) Soon, you’ll be pretending to be your own favorite characters, and making up stuff on the fly. 10. Oh, and don’t practice it on just the hot chicks. Practice it on all women. Practice it on the cashier or the coffee shop girl. Hell, practice bantering with your friends and family, with everyone. It’ll make flirting with the hot chicks a natural. CONCLUSION And that’s flirting. It’s playing within the context of sex/romance, whether play-fighting or play-kissing. It’s the key to sparking attraction in a woman you’ve first met, and to keeping that spark of attraction alive in a woman you’ve been with for ten years. You’re not out to win or dominate or get something from her. It’s just a way to let your imagination run free with her. Ultimately it’s frivolous and meaningless, but it allows you to be in the “zone” together with her, to create your own sexual and romantic world with her. In fact, when you really get down to it, it’s the very step of sex.]]> flirting

The key to attraction is flirting. Mystery calls it negging, David DeAngelo calls it cocky-funny, and Lance Mason calls it bantering. Whatever the name, they’re different forms of flirting. Of course, having your inner-game and body language together is important. That’s how you sub-communicate your confidence. But if you don’t spark sexual tension with a girl, you won’t spark physical attraction in her. And the best way to create sexual tension, especially in indirect game, is by flirting. But what is flirting and how do you do it? Oh my God, you don’t know? I don’t know if we can hang out anymore. *smile.* I’m playing, I’m playing. Seriously though, isn’t it funny how girls know EXACTLY what flirting is, but guys are COMPLETELY clueless about it? For me personally, I’ve had to work hard to understand what it is. Actually, the reason I’m writing this article is to better understand it myself. WHAT IS FLIRTING? Flirting is simply being playful. But it’s a special kind of playing. When kids play with each other, they don’t try to accomplish anything. All they’re interested in is playing games. They take on pretend roles effortlessly and let their imaginations run free. Ultimately their play is meaningless, it’s just to have fun. They’re not out to win or get something or dominate each other. They play just to be in the “zone” together. (credit: Ron Louis and David Copeland, “how to succeed with women”) Women play together in a certain way. They might gossip, shop, talk about relationships, cry, go to a spa, bond over food and crafts, try to be build each other up or be nice to each other, or whatever. Men play together in a different way. We compete with each other, play jokes on each other, talk about hot women, push each other around, exaggerate how awesome we are, insult each other, talk shop, and do whacked up things like light our farts on fire. When men and women play together, they flirt. It’s not the way men play because you’re not going to fart in a coffee cup, put a lid on it, and give it to her to smell. You’re not going to tell her how fat and disgusting she looks so you can laugh at her or talk about sports with her. You’re not going to get into a spitting contest or punch her arm or push her around. You’re not going to talk about facts, and analyze the mid-east crisis. Instead, you’re nicer. And more importantly, you throw sex and romance into your play. Flirting is sexual/romantic playing. WHY GIRLS KNOW WHAT FLIRTING IS, BUT GUYS DON’T For a guy, when we want sex, we wouldn’t mind saying “Wanna have sex? Great. Here’s the bathroom.” That would be direct and factual. Women, on the other hand, prefer indirect, emotional communication. And flirting is indirect and emotional. Flirting lets her know you’re sexually interested in her PLAYFULLY. You make your sexual desire known in a way that’s not obvious to everyone else. She can laugh your sexual interest off as if it’s not really there, but subconsciously she feels your sexual feeling, and feels it in turn with you. That’s being indirect, emotional, and that’s flirting. Girls know what flirting is, but guys don’t because girls prefer indirect, emotional communication, where guys prefer direct, factual communication. I know that’s a generalization, but it helps make this point. To heat her up and make our sexual interest known more effectively, we guys need to communicate our interest in a woman in her language. Flirting is that indirect, emotional language. In a way, flirting is kind of like the way women play together. There’s no talk of gross, disgusting things. No put downs or insults. No violence or anything that might cause physical harm. No self-deprecation—unless it’s obviously not true. It’s gentler, cleaner, sweeter, lighter. Smile. Talk about things that she might like to talk about. Ask her things about herself, describe feelings she’d love to feel as a woman, and say things that build her self-esteem up and make her feel good about herself. You’re playing the way women do, but in a masculine way. I know it makes no sense. So, let me explain. HOW TO FLIRT Okay, so kids take on pretend roles effortlessly and let their imaginations run free, right? When you flirt, it’s the same thing. What pretend role should you take on? A dominant one that makes the girl feel cute. You’re the man, and she’s the girl. I know that may sound obvious but where some guys are too direct with their sexual interest, other guys try to make a girl feel comfortable by being completely neutral and being no sexual threat. But if we’re not neutral sexually yet honest about our sexuality indirectly, this naturally creates what David Deida of “The Way of the Superior Man” called sexual polarity. Just as a battery needs a positive and negative charge to create energy, a sexually charged interaction needs distinct masculine and feminine sexual roles to create sexual energy. This dominant vs. petite role is the sexual/romantic ingredient that distinguishes flirting from mere play. AND the story line you act out is you guys don’t get along…there’s tension between the two of you. Conflict. Fight. You see something wrong with her that’s obviously not true. Mix these two ingredients together, and voila! You create sexual tension. Usually the role we take on with women is she’s the selector and we’re the selectee. We want to make sure we’re doing okay in her eyes. “Am I doing okay?” Guys will actually ask a girl this on a first date. Don’t do this. Instead, when you flirt, flip these roles upside down. YOU be the selector and SHE can be the selectee. For once, YOU’RE the one who’s not completely sure about her yet, and SHE’S the one who wants YOU. Hahahaha! I love it love it love it. This is the best way to deal with her shit tests, too. See everything she does, including her shit tests, as cute. “Oh my God, that’s so cute. You want me so bad. Anyway…” Don’t take what she says literally but imagine it to mean something else having to do with your dominance. Then change the subject. So, again, what role should you take on? You can imagine you’re the Ladies’ Man all the girls want, and this girl you just met is trying to get with you. “Oh God, if you wanted my number already, all you had to do was ask!” or “Hey, hey, hey. Hands off the merchandise. This shit ain’t for free. That’ll be forty dollars, missy.” Or pretend to be the Hot Woman, so that she’s one of the billions of “guys” trying to pick you up. “Quit looking at me like that. You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger. It’s creeping me out.” Or “Quit looking at my chest! My eyes are up here. God, all you girls think about is one thing.” Or imagine you’re an Authority Figure, like the principal: “That’s it. You’ve just earned yourself detention.” Or the recruiter: “You’re hired. I’m making you my new bodyguard.” Or the teacher: “Let me see you flirt. Wow, now that was terrible. It actually made me go gay there for a second.” In each of these roles, you’re pretending to be another character. The character you take on is the dominant one and the girl is smaller than you. AND you’re fighting with her, pushing her away. I mean she’s chasing you after all, right? This is just wrong! There’s some sort of conflict or negative thing going on here. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You couldn’t possibly pull this off with a girl you just met because it’s negative. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. Here are three keys to make the negativity and conflict work. First, the idea of character and ACTING is key to making flirting work. It’s not just the words that make it work. It’s that you’re actually ACTING OUT a character. With all the gestures, facial expressions, and voice tone of the character. The comedy comes less from the words and more from the character you portray. That’s what makes it obvious PLAY. It’s not true. It’s make-believe. It’s like you’re on stage and you and the woman are actors pretending to be other people. By the way, acting out characters TOGETHER is bonus. You and the girl are INTERACTING, doing an activity TOGETHER. She’s not just some passive bystander. You and this hot chick are now in the sandbox again as if the two of you were six again. She’s no longer sitting uncomfortably high up on a pedestal. By doing a meaningless activity WITH HER, you create the same un-self-conscious feeling of being in the “zone” together that the two of you felt as kids. Second, touch and smile when you flirt. Touch allows you to get away with anything. Touch is such a warm, intimate thing that when you mix it with words of conflict, on a visceral level the woman knows in reality you’re being warm, not mean. A quick touch on her arm before you say your line can make all the difference in the world. And same goes with smiling. Smiling communicates warmth and friendliness, so if you say these lines through laughter or a playful facial expression it tempers the words of conflict with the feeling of play and togetherness. Third, use the tools of creative misinterpretation and exaggeration to make it clear you’re playing. Creative misinterpretation: “It? You want to do IT? Jeez, at least buy me a drink first. And just to let you know I wore my old briefs tonight to make sure nothing would happen. Just so you know.” The misinterpretation signals you’re playing, not taking what she says literally. Exaggeration: “You’re asking if I have a girlfriend? (depressed) No. (happy) I have 8 girlfriends! (dismissive) Yeah, it’s no big deal, it’s no big whoop. They all get together and swap recipes so they can learn how to cook my favorite food.” (credit: Brad P) Stretching the truth sends the message that what you’re saying isn’t literal or factual. So, do you see what I’m saying now that you’re playing the way women play together but as the man? You’re playing nice, making her feel good feelings yet at the same time you’re creating conflict and playing the dominant role. OTHER GUIDELINES Flirting must be done within the first five seconds of your approach. I heard Lance Mason once say, your flirting line must be the SECOND SENTENCE out of your mouth. Snap judgments happen so fast that if you don’t flirt IMMEDIATELY, you’ll be thrown into the category she puts every other chump into that’s approached her. Also, if you try to flirt after you’ve been talking for a bit, it comes off as weird. There’s a certain sequence in the mating dance, and playful pleasantries is one of the first steps. Set that playful tone right from the start. Flirting is like cooking oil when cooking a dish. You don’t put the ingredients into the pan first, and put the oil in afterwards. You’ll burn out the ingredients. You put the oil in the pan first. The simmering juice is what gels the other ingredients together, and prevents them from drying up and burning out. Or it’s like putting the car in first gear to get it moving. You can’t go from a parked car to fifth gear. And you don’t start exercising by sprinting full speed. You’ve got to ignite the engine first, and you’ve got to warm up your body with something light before going intense. Play talk is the bridge from “stranger” to connection. Also, flirting must not last forever. Otherwise you become the dancing monkey. Playfulness should last no more than a few minutes; then move onto some substance. You could use your pretend world as springboard to share something about yourself and something to ask her about. For instance, if the two of you just pretended you’d run off to Vegas for an Elvis wedding, you could share an impulsive story with her and ask her “What’s the most impulsive thing you’ve ever done?” And later during comfort, you can still always sprinkle more of the playful flirting in. The first time I followed these guidelines, I had number-closed five girls in a row with one of them turning into an F-close. It blew my mind how well flirting works. It was a game changer and a life changer. But when I’ve neglected to follow these guidelines my interactions would consistently fall flat. Ever since I make sure to flirt right from the start and not make it last forever. Flirting makes it so much easier to get to the comfort/connection phase. It just creates such good, positive energy and the momentum you need to move to where you need to go. You create a sexually charged foundation. ANOTHER WAY TO FLIRT Another way to flirt is to be overtly romantic. This works best a little further down the interaction, once she’s gotten a sense of who you are. Again, you still create an imaginary world with her in this way of flirting. The difference is you’re no longer pushing her away, but pulling her towards you. You can talk about the future together, or your make-believe past together, future dates, create imaginary memories and adventures to have together: “You know what we’re going to do? We’re totally going to the beach together. You’ll dress up in a nun outfit and I’ll dress up in a priest outfit, and we’ll make out in front of everyone. People would be like ‘what the fuck?’ It’ll be a blast.” You can describe great feelings such as romance, attraction, arousal so she can imagine and feel them for herself, or describe idyllic scenarios that she’d love to experience. You can ask her open-ended questions about herself, like “what’s the story behind that?” so she can talk. Always make her feel cute, pretty, petite, and sexy. Basically, you’re making her feel like a woman and making her feel romantic feelings—playfully. But you’re no longer playing the role of rejecter. You’re almost playing the role of boyfriend even though you’re not together yet, which makes her feel those boyfriend feelings of togetherness with you. YOUR GOAL IN FLIRTING Your goal in flirting is to make her laugh, and make her feel romantic feelings. You’re subtly getting her used to the idea of being sexual/romantic with you. And you want to connect the idea of you with pleasure. We all know a woman responds more to her emotions than her logical mind. So, flirt in order to give her happy emotions. Give her “feeling good.” Flirting creates happiness in her. She’ll in turn associate those good feelings to you, and want to see you. At the same time, it’s also a great way for you to screen her and see if she’s someone you’d actually like to get to know. If she doesn’t flirt back with you, maybe this isn’t a girl you really want to sleep with. It’s also a great way to distinguish yourself and show her why she should be talking to you more than any other guy there. ACTION PLAN 1. Gather a list of 10 of your favorite flirting lines. I’ve included some above. Here are some others to get you started: “You look familiar. Have we had sex?” "You're such a brat." “I can already tell you and I are NOT going to get along. I might have to put you into my friend zone.” “Wait a sec, you’re Republican, aren’t you? I’m not sure if I can talk with you anymore.” “She looks sweet and innocent but something tells me she’s not. Kinda scared actually.” “Note to self: do not date this girl.” “That’s it we’re breaking up. You keep the cat and I’ll keep the CDs.” “Nice nails, are they real? Oh. Well. I guess they still look good.” 2. Pick one or two flirting lines, no more than two. 3. Figure out the character and storyline behind each line. 4. Practice the character behind the line in the mirror with touch. ACT out the character behind the line with the voice imitations, gestures, and facial expressions. 5. When you go out in the field, make sure you touch her first before delivering the line. And make sure the line is the SECOND SENTENCE you say. You can continue with your stack afterwards. But flirting is no longer an option in your stack. It’s a requirement. 6. Practice this line at least five times in the field or until it feels natural. 7. Now, expand on your line and improvise pretending to be the character. For example, if your line is “You’re my new girlfriend. Wait a second. Can you cook?” you can expand it by saying “…because I can’t be eating spaghetti every night. Can you cook anything good? Oh, okay. Well in that case, MAYBE we could get along. *smile*” Or, whatever your imagination might come up with. 8. After you’ve made this line part of you, choose another line to master. But make sure to practice only one or two lines at a time. Go for quality of delivery and for making it your own. Don’t go for quantity. Too many lines cause paralysis. 9. Learn two new banter lines per week and repeat the process. (credit: Lance Mason) Soon, you’ll be pretending to be your own favorite characters, and making up stuff on the fly. 10. Oh, and don’t practice it on just the hot chicks. Practice it on all women. Practice it on the cashier or the coffee shop girl. Hell, practice bantering with your friends and family, with everyone. It’ll make flirting with the hot chicks a natural. CONCLUSION And that’s flirting. It’s playing within the context of sex/romance, whether play-fighting or play-kissing. It’s the key to sparking attraction in a woman you’ve first met, and to keeping that spark of attraction alive in a woman you’ve been with for ten years. You’re not out to win or dominate or get something from her. It’s just a way to let your imagination run free with her. Ultimately it’s frivolous and meaningless, but it allows you to be in the “zone” together with her, to create your own sexual and romantic world with her. In fact, when you really get down to it, it’s the very step of sex.]]> http://www.venusianarts.com/flirting/feed/ 3 Personalized Stack Creation http://www.venusianarts.com/personalized-stack-creation/ http://www.venusianarts.com/personalized-stack-creation/#comments Sun, 19 Dec 2010 20:43:00 +0000 Discovery http://www.venusianarts.com/?p=3527 routines-gambits

I am new to the Game, what should I use first?

I have few good things to say,  how can I piece them together?

I want to personalise my routines, what is the structure?

[caption id="attachment_4658" align="alignright" width="162" caption="Creating a Personal Stack"][/caption] Greetings fellow Pickup and Social Artists. My name is Discovery and over the next few weeks I am going to be answering the above questions and helping your prepare for the festive season. After all everyone out to celebrate and no one to play with - we cant have that now can we! At bootcamps our Master Trainers, Mystery, Lovedrop, Matador and yours truly continually get asked the same questions - one being - “Which are the best Routines?” My colleague Lovedrop (co Author of The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed, Revelation and The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction ) would say “with great delivery and good Vibe you can say anything” and I 100% agree. Of course you have to get great delivery and have had enough experience with the Flame and Ghost Vibe to pull that off. But if you are starting out or want to get back to basics, what should you use? Just looking on my mind-map right now, I presently have 158 polished routines that am well known for sharing at bootcamps, much to our students delight. Do I use them all - NO! - I simply used the routines as an objective for polishing my delivery and if truth be told, while I was new to the game, to help me focus on the delivery of the Gambit and not the responses I was getting from women (yep, they weren't always great lol). For those of you who don’t know, it took me exactly 2 years from attending my first Bootcamp to Mystery presenting me at the Miami Bootcamp last year, his personal Master Pickup Badge. Ok, so am more like a Junior Master in comparison to my esteemed colleagues, but nevertheless the hard work paid off. So let me help you cut a lot of crap and bad advise out the way so you can start to experience some rewards and begin enjoying this wonderful ‘Game’ of Social Interaction (no you cant ask Father Christmas to delivery it on the Dec 25th either! ;-) Back to that question; “Which are the best Routines?” Put it like this, let’s say you want to start bodybuilding and grow your size and muscles and you were to bump into Ol Arny (Arnold Schwarzeneggar) while visiting California, you wouldn’t be able to resist would you - “Hey Arny, what routine are you using to look as good as you do?” - His response might be.... “Split training 5 x per week, 2 jogs and 3x 1 hour Cardio machine, combined with Cabbage diet, low carbs and lean meats” - He might not bother to mention monthly visits to the Surgeon for botox boosters, but hey, you got good advice right!    WRONG!!!!! - what you got was - What is working for him now! Remember you are starting out, so you should be asking.... yep you got it.... “ What did you use to GET STARTED?” Now if you came to one of our Bootcamps and were to meet Matador or Mystery - unless you are at their level or close, you probably don’t want to ask - what Microcalibrated, non-Opinion Opener are you using now (I’ll cover those in later articles), but you want to ask them again - “Dude, what Routines did you use to get you started and get some results?”. So right now, I’m going to show you some examples of mini stacks many Master PUAs have used to get themselves going. At bootcamps we give out mini Stack Cards with an example on the front and place for you to write your own on the back - for now you can just write this down on a scrap of paper or even in a text to yourself (great to pull out mid conversation [disinterest] check, have a laugh and return to the conversation) Basic Starting Stack, Example 1 Opener(A1) “Hey Guys, How long should you wait before changing your Facebook status to Single” False Time Constraint “I can only stay a moment” Neg (target) “Does she have an Off Button? (role eyes and smile) Observation (A2)** (look like you are about to walk off and then notice something) “Wow, you guys have been friends for a while right! - [Girl Coding Routine] Exit That’s it - just to get you talking - dont forget a fun playful vibe and attitude, if you then have to exit simply say: “Ok Guys, that’s all you get, I so cant be rude to my friends” Smile and Exit Basic Starting Stack, Example 2 Opener(A1) “Breast Enlargements, Yes or No?” False Time Constraint “Hey, real quick as my friends and I are celebrating [open loop]” Opener(A1) continued. “Would you tell your good buddy that his girlfriend was planning to have her breasts done for his birthday (pause) if you knew he wouldn't like it?” Neg (target) “OMG, ADD Girl (role eyes and smile) annnnd back to me” Opener(A1) story part. “The thing is, her twin sister just had hers done - do you think she’s really doing it because of her or for him?.... I mean, would a girl really go under the knife just to be competitive with another girl” [this is an example of a phased opinion opener that drips intreague with each phase - you have to have a friendly vibe to pull this one off - all in the delivery ;-) ] Challenge (A2)** (look like you are about to walk off and then notice something) “You know you look like you could be a good liar - lets find out!” - [Lying Game/5 Questions] Exit “Gotta rejoin my friends, Pleasure meeting you - come by and say Hi later!” Smile and Exit   So there you have it guys, 2 simple Stack systems to get you moving. In the next article I will be sharing with you an intermediary stack, including use of DHVs and Qualifiers. Oh and don’t forget many of our VA360 Coaches offer a Personalised Stack Routine Creating service. Wait until you are at the intermediate phase though to get best value. As always Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure sharing with you. Have a great weekend :-) Discovery   **Note: although A2, the observations, challenges, humour stories, keep you in the set and demonstrate your Value as an interesting guy, they are merely ‘Buying Temperature’ and NOT core DHVs - Demonstrations of HIGHER Value (of an Evolutionary nature that flip unconscious, psychological attractions switches (covered in other articles).]]> routines-gambits

I am new to the Game, what should I use first?

I have few good things to say,  how can I piece them together?

I want to personalise my routines, what is the structure?

[caption id="attachment_4658" align="alignright" width="162" caption="Creating a Personal Stack"][/caption] Greetings fellow Pickup and Social Artists. My name is Discovery and over the next few weeks I am going to be answering the above questions and helping your prepare for the festive season. After all everyone out to celebrate and no one to play with - we cant have that now can we! At bootcamps our Master Trainers, Mystery, Lovedrop, Matador and yours truly continually get asked the same questions - one being - “Which are the best Routines?” My colleague Lovedrop (co Author of The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed, Revelation and The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction ) would say “with great delivery and good Vibe you can say anything” and I 100% agree. Of course you have to get great delivery and have had enough experience with the Flame and Ghost Vibe to pull that off. But if you are starting out or want to get back to basics, what should you use? Just looking on my mind-map right now, I presently have 158 polished routines that am well known for sharing at bootcamps, much to our students delight. Do I use them all - NO! - I simply used the routines as an objective for polishing my delivery and if truth be told, while I was new to the game, to help me focus on the delivery of the Gambit and not the responses I was getting from women (yep, they weren't always great lol). For those of you who don’t know, it took me exactly 2 years from attending my first Bootcamp to Mystery presenting me at the Miami Bootcamp last year, his personal Master Pickup Badge. Ok, so am more like a Junior Master in comparison to my esteemed colleagues, but nevertheless the hard work paid off. So let me help you cut a lot of crap and bad advise out the way so you can start to experience some rewards and begin enjoying this wonderful ‘Game’ of Social Interaction (no you cant ask Father Christmas to delivery it on the Dec 25th either! ;-) Back to that question; “Which are the best Routines?” Put it like this, let’s say you want to start bodybuilding and grow your size and muscles and you were to bump into Ol Arny (Arnold Schwarzeneggar) while visiting California, you wouldn’t be able to resist would you - “Hey Arny, what routine are you using to look as good as you do?” - His response might be.... “Split training 5 x per week, 2 jogs and 3x 1 hour Cardio machine, combined with Cabbage diet, low carbs and lean meats” - He might not bother to mention monthly visits to the Surgeon for botox boosters, but hey, you got good advice right!    WRONG!!!!! - what you got was - What is working for him now! Remember you are starting out, so you should be asking.... yep you got it.... “ What did you use to GET STARTED?” Now if you came to one of our Bootcamps and were to meet Matador or Mystery - unless you are at their level or close, you probably don’t want to ask - what Microcalibrated, non-Opinion Opener are you using now (I’ll cover those in later articles), but you want to ask them again - “Dude, what Routines did you use to get you started and get some results?”. So right now, I’m going to show you some examples of mini stacks many Master PUAs have used to get themselves going. At bootcamps we give out mini Stack Cards with an example on the front and place for you to write your own on the back - for now you can just write this down on a scrap of paper or even in a text to yourself (great to pull out mid conversation [disinterest] check, have a laugh and return to the conversation) Basic Starting Stack, Example 1 Opener(A1) “Hey Guys, How long should you wait before changing your Facebook status to Single” False Time Constraint “I can only stay a moment” Neg (target) “Does she have an Off Button? (role eyes and smile) Observation (A2)** (look like you are about to walk off and then notice something) “Wow, you guys have been friends for a while right! - [Girl Coding Routine] Exit That’s it - just to get you talking - dont forget a fun playful vibe and attitude, if you then have to exit simply say: “Ok Guys, that’s all you get, I so cant be rude to my friends” Smile and Exit Basic Starting Stack, Example 2 Opener(A1) “Breast Enlargements, Yes or No?” False Time Constraint “Hey, real quick as my friends and I are celebrating [open loop]” Opener(A1) continued. “Would you tell your good buddy that his girlfriend was planning to have her breasts done for his birthday (pause) if you knew he wouldn't like it?” Neg (target) “OMG, ADD Girl (role eyes and smile) annnnd back to me” Opener(A1) story part. “The thing is, her twin sister just had hers done - do you think she’s really doing it because of her or for him?.... I mean, would a girl really go under the knife just to be competitive with another girl” [this is an example of a phased opinion opener that drips intreague with each phase - you have to have a friendly vibe to pull this one off - all in the delivery ;-) ] Challenge (A2)** (look like you are about to walk off and then notice something) “You know you look like you could be a good liar - lets find out!” - [Lying Game/5 Questions] Exit “Gotta rejoin my friends, Pleasure meeting you - come by and say Hi later!” Smile and Exit   So there you have it guys, 2 simple Stack systems to get you moving. In the next article I will be sharing with you an intermediary stack, including use of DHVs and Qualifiers. Oh and don’t forget many of our VA360 Coaches offer a Personalised Stack Routine Creating service. Wait until you are at the intermediate phase though to get best value. As always Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure sharing with you. Have a great weekend :-) Discovery   **Note: although A2, the observations, challenges, humour stories, keep you in the set and demonstrate your Value as an interesting guy, they are merely ‘Buying Temperature’ and NOT core DHVs - Demonstrations of HIGHER Value (of an Evolutionary nature that flip unconscious, psychological attractions switches (covered in other articles).]]> http://www.venusianarts.com/personalized-stack-creation/feed/ 12 Question and Answer with Mystery Part 2 http://www.venusianarts.com/question-and-answer-with-mystery-part-2/ http://www.venusianarts.com/question-and-answer-with-mystery-part-2/#comments Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:22:38 +0000 Mystery http://www.venusianarts.com/?p=2821

AFC: Last Saturday I met this young woman and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since then. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing before I fall asleep and even at that I’ve been finding it hard to get to sleep because my mind is so full of thoughts of her.

Mystery: Please remember that realistically, she is only an OPTION. These emotions are not healthy until AFTER the relationship has started. ALSO, men who have many women vying for their attention would be USED to women and therefore would not go al GAGA over OPTIONS. This makes you look WEAK in her eyes.

AFC: My heart aches when I’m not near her and my head spins when I am near her. Ok…yes I’ve fallen deeply, way to quickly…but I can’t help myself.

Mystery: Unless you are willing to WALK AWAY, it is unlikely that you will obtain her. You will go through what most NEWBIES go through. You will pine for her and some other guy (like me) will slip in a take her from you. The best you can do is become a FRIEND – which hurts even more because you’ll have to become friends with her boyfriend too. Save time by PRETENDING to be used to women already. Be willing to walk away and give some neg hits once in a while. Trick yourself into thinking she is ugly but entertaining. Then you will not let her shit on you in any way.

AFC: And that’s exactly the message I got from her. ‘I’m not looking for anybody, I don’t want anyone in my life right now, I’m just here to have fun’ is exactly what she said to me. It was a good learning experience for me.

Mystery: It’s a good bet she IS looking for someone but if just fed up with the fact she can’t find someone who appeals to her. If you can CONNECT with her, you’d be in. Do 3 neg hits, a connection pattern and some humor like the pull my finger joke and she would change her mind and you would have a g/f who was a 10. And she’d have a b/f who was funny and had a connection with her and confident.

AFC: That’s all fine & good I suppose. But the one I approached had come alone, and had no noticeable friends around her.

Mystery: She came alone to be harassed by men? Don’t you see she’s lonely? No guys try to get past the beauty bullshit and make her feel a connection. 10′s have their own set of problems. It’s not harder to get a 10, only different.

AFC: Getting a flock of women around me in this early stage of my ‘playa’ development was out of the question as well. Maybe in the future.

Mystery: Yeah, this DOES take a considerable degree of confidence. I know, it took me a long time to get this shit together this way. I became a performing artist and this stage stuff helped me get confident with the girls even more. Thing is, I think I’m more of a pick-up artist than a performing artist. I just got good at performing to meet more girls I guess. More options.

AFC: Please….I’m begging for some advice here – I can’t let her pass me by.

Mystery: realistically, with this emotional approach, you ARE going to let her pass you by. Be willing to walk away FIRST. You are only excited about her as an OPTION. Before you met her she wasn’t an option. If another girl came into your life that was beautiful and pleasant to you, you would call her an option too and no doubt your emotions would go haywire. As you experience more you’ll realize there are TONNES of OPTIONS out there. You just have to MAKE them YOUR options. I wager you DON’T get her but if you follow my advice, you’ll increase your slim chances at least.

Good luck though.

]]> http://www.venusianarts.com/question-and-answer-with-mystery-part-2/feed/ 16 Classic Writings: Number ESP Gambit by Mystery http://www.venusianarts.com/classic-writings-number-esp-gambit-by-mystery/ http://www.venusianarts.com/classic-writings-number-esp-gambit-by-mystery/#comments Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:57:49 +0000 Mystery http://www.venusianarts.com/?p=2761

Walk up to a girl and say, “Do you believe in ESP?” Remember to SMILE or you may startle her. “Just think of the first # that pops into your head from one to four. Don’t say it. Just think it … now take that # and imagine that it is drawn on a blackboard in your head. Have you done that?”

She says OK

“What’s so neat about imagination is … we both have it … On the blackboard, I see the number … three.”

Whether you get it right or not reply.

“Alright, lets try this one more time. This time think of a different # from one to 10. Got it? Picture it in white chalk on the blackboard … you are thinking of the number … 7.”

If you got the first wrong and the second right, you look like you finally got it … a 1 in 10 chance. If you get BOTH right (a 90% chance seeing as it is a psychological trick where most north Americans naturally choose 3 and 7 as their first picks) that’s a 1 in 40 chance … “and of course I don’t stake my reputation on mere chance.”

If you get the first right but the second wrong or both wrong, say… “PROOF! ESP does NOT exist!” Then start to laugh like this “Mooa ha ha ha ha ha ha! And you believe in ESP!” a good neg hit to start. If she mentions that most people pick 3 and 7 (most girls wont know this though) just say, “really? Hmm… didn’t know that … thank you Cliff Claven.” (From Cheers)

If you take the wording I have and do this EXACTLY as stated, you will be surprised HOW well you will do. When they ask HOW, tell them … I DON’T KNOW. Tell her you can SEE the #s on your imaginary blackboard. This is NOT a trick. You hate magicians. If she wants you to do this again, tell her … “don’t be greedy now.”

Speaking of greedy … if a girl kisses you on the cheek and goes to kiss your other cheek, tell her, “Only one … don’t be greedy.” This is a good NEG HIT. Mild but a neg hit nonetheless. If she says, “Yes, but I’m French”, you reply, “Are all French girls as greedy as you?”

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