Private 1 on 1 With Matador in LA, The Birth of Achilles

What's it like when you have a Master PUA watching over you in the field and giving you instant feedback on your game? Can you imagine the confidence you would feel having a powerful Jedi at your side as you're weaving in and out of the Matrix of social dynamics. I recently had the opportunity and the privilege to be trained one on one by the star of VH1s "The Pickup Artist" and one of the legends of the game "James Matador".

Prior to this one on one I had attended a few bootcamps and had literally read and listened to EVERYTHING I could get my hands on, in regards to the game. Needless to say I was very successful in my social life and really had no shortage of beautiful women. I had met Matador at the LA bootcamp and it was his presence and deeper understanding of the game (Matador Mayhem) that got my attention right from the start. I had a similar vibe to my game and instantly knew that it was my goal to study under him as I felt he could shed some light on my game which would catapult me to a new level. 

Long story short the opportunity presented itself and I found myself sitting on 'Melrose' eating sushi in front of my, now teacher and mentor, Matador as he whipped out the laptop and started to demo for me different concepts. He listened as I broke down my game and my understandings and through guided questions helped me to come to a groundbreaking realization about my way of being that was preventing me from being much more effective. 

That night we hit the club and I went to work demonstrating my skills. Gotta say it was a little nerve racking having him stand a few feet away from me or sit inches away right next to me and watch as I was running my game. After I had isolated a few different sets and lost them, I went to him and said “why the fuck am I losing these fucking sets?” he smiled and said Ill show you and then proceeded to demo to me how I was sitting and what I was communicating. The stories from that night are stuff of legends. To get into the details would surely seem as if im exaggerating. However I can tell you that we ended up back at his house with a party of 9 women. I witnessed first hand why "Matador" has become the legend that he has as the three model type Blondes excitedly made their way into his bedroom for a "Foursome" took place! 

Even though I was running on no more than a couple of hours of sleep, the next morning I was up early and ready to take on the day. I will tell you that by the second day I cant tell you exactly what had happened but I knew I was a different man. I walked through the streets and the people were reacting very differently to me. I met up with Matador and we went through another 6 hours of theory and drilling. This day he was very interested in my experience of the night before and I was very excited to report the changes I had been feeling. I had seen my mistakes clearly and had experienced life changing results. I was ready to ask my questions to clear up a few points which I needed help on. We took a little break and were going to meet up again at night to go out. During the 3 hours in between the lecture and going out I literally had women putting their numbers in my hand. It was truly amazing. The effortlessness of it all seemed a little serial. I got dressed and ready to go out and this night I knew it was on. My game had changed and all the little tiny things I was doing that was preventing closes were taken out and I was ready to put this shit to the test in the club as I had already seen its power in the streets the mall and restaurants. We met up and hit club Delux in LA. The experience was absolutely out of this world. There is a song by Rhianna and JayZ entitled Were Gonna Run this Town Tonight and I tell you Matador and Achilles ran that town that night. The club was ours. All the women were ours. All the guys were owned. The bouncers were our fans. The hired guns were our adoring spectators. By the end of the night if you had walked in you would have thought that Matador and I were the club owners! The night ended very similar to the night before with us ending up at Matadors apartment followed by our newly acquired entourage. I will save you the details but movies and books could be written about the experiences of that night. 

By the next morning I felt different. I looked different. Everywhere I went it seemed as if I had a fuckin scent coming off of me that was bringing girls to me begging for my attention. I was at ease. I was calm. I finally had total confidence in this area of my life. I have been back for a few days now and EVERY area of my life has changed for the better. My skills are still with me and growing. Matador had told me to stay in contact with him and update him on my game and ask any questions. The next day I called him and thanked him for a life changing experience and let him know how things had changed for me. He said “Get a pen and paper and write this down” and then proceeded to breakdown in more detail what he had observed and what I needed to do to continue to improve. 

I have achieved many, many things in life and have had the privilege to study with different icons of our time in different fields including Acting and Martial Arts. After having met James Matador I am proud to call him my teacher and my good friend and let it be known that I assure you whatever stories you may have heard about the skills of the man, if you doubted it, it was due to your own inability to understand the reality he lives in. I have witnessed first hand why he is a Master PUA and I have been and am continuing to be trained by one of the best Pick Up Artists of our time James Matador.

- Achilles

The Rebirth of AMOGing

By: Colgate and Discovery

The concept of being able to acquire a skill set in order to handle the Alpha Male in the group. The idea for most to be able to blow out the guys that generally succeeded in getting the girls prior to our knowledge of pick up can make any person excited. The reason why AMOGing works is because you can systematically take the attention away from other men who are competing for attention. By holding court, re-framing, and being in your own head space, you can successfully handle the threads AMOGs will throw at you.

The weird thing about AMOGing is that, while strangers will do it to you without hesitation, your best friends will too (keep in mind, when in-field your wing should never attempt to AMOG you). What I have noticed is that when two people have a connection in their friendship, they tend to banter with each other more than two individuals that do not share that connection. This is how Discovery and I developed the concept of WING-MOGING.

Wing-moging is a concept where wings can display a strong brotherhood and camaraderie by banter with each other. The routine not only displays a connection between the two, but also has DHV spikes embedded in that will set off attraction switches. The reason that the attraction is generated when viewing the display of connection is due to her sub conscious thought that is she aligns with one of the guys, she is guaranteed the social network, protection, resources and love from his wing and the other guys in his group.

The guys who have a strong connection with each other and have a tight "Entourage" game, can also be remembered much more by using wing-mog tactics. This will lead to the entire group being invited to better social occasions, girls tell their friends about the "friends" and say things like "you should meet these guys, they are so much fun”. You gain instant pre-selection to other targets by the girl who witnessed the wing-moging. Girls will invite us along because she knows her friends will appreciate her for meeting such awesome guys (which is rare). By Discovery and I using our wing-moging tactics, we can add to the social value and energy to the group. The possibilities become endless.

Example: Let's say Discovery is making fun of my beard

Discovery: What’s with the animal on your face bro?
Colgate: Man the chicks won't let me shave it, you should try it baby face!
Discovery: You know my girls like that "I've just had a face wax feel". Anyways your new Miss November girl surely can't like the feel of a badger scratching her bikini line!
Colgate: Man, (with exaggerated hand gestures) Miss November isn’t interested in my facial badger, she wants access to my Jurassic Park area! (Strokes groin area with cheeky smile)
Discovery: Why's that bro, cause it hides a monster? (said teasingly)
Colgate: Hey we are among friends here (puts arm around group and pulls them in and whispers) honestly more like a hamster. (when delivery is flawless the result is shrieks of laughter)
Colgate: So bro now that we are sharing how did the operation go (more serious tone)
Discovery: I will only get into it because I feel we are amongst friends, but it hurt like childbirth. You women have breast augmentations, BUT did u know you could literally double your length and increase your girth by 3 time!!! (pause) Now that the bandages are off, (release) I am so proud of my 3 inches!!!!
(Both guys howl with laughter while displaying to the group a connection in their friendship)

The idea is to generate a great vibe, embed DHV’s, show a tight brotherhood, while also not compromising each others values. Keep in mind this is not AMOGing, this is not meant to blow anyone out of the set. If anything it raises the value of both guys. Discovery and I can not tell you how many times this routine has led to us to being upgraded to V.I.P booths, celebrity after parties, invites to exclusive events, etc. We have also used it to skip lines at exclusive clubs when we have not had any pre-selection at all. When the guys have a strong frame and they demonstrate their brotherhood on the in they can easily persuade the bouncers that they offer value to the club. It is a very powerful gambit to add to you arsenal.

A word of advice, the delivery of both guys must be not only flawless but must also be genuine. Practice this enough until it comes off natural and real. It should not be scripted or feel scripted. When tight friends’ vibe together the energy they transmit is very powerful, Discovery and I developed this concept intuitively due to our tight brotherhood.

Another idea to keep in mind is that it can be done in front of other guys. Those guys who normally might try to be difficult or attempt to AMOG will sit back and observe both guys wing-moging. This will leave them with no place to interject and attempt to AMOG because they can not compete with two dominant forces putting out a great vibe, therefore, this is ideal for mixed set.

FIVE WING-MOG TIPS

1. Divide holding court: By dividing the attention, both guys can hit the attraction switches equally and be perceived as high value.
2. Feed off each others energy: When both guys are enjoying each others stories and adding value through laughter, the group will feel the emotional richness and enjoy the company of both guys.
3. Don’t under any circumstances make each other look bad: Wing-moging is meant to increase the value for BOTH guys. Do not make each other look bad, by one guy making his friend look bad, it in turn lowers his value.
4. Be comfortable displaying physical contact with each other: Hug your wing and do it comfortably. Not only will this give you plausible deniability to hug the girls more but it will visually show the connection of the brotherhood.
5. Be okay with laughing at yourself: If you are comfortable with laughing at yourself and your wing is as well, both of you can gain from the possibilities by telling stories of each other (be sure to embed DHV’s).

This concept has proven effective in many dynamical situations. We have ran venues with our vibe and have people remember us on a first name basis wherever we go. People are attracted to people who show appreciation for other people. They will not only attempt to be a part of your social circle, but they will go out of their way as well.

- Colgate

About Colgate

Colgate is a VA Coach operating out of New York City. He is known for conveying a rock star personality in-field, adding humor, energy, intrigue, and other characteristics that contribute to the vibe and energy of the club. Along with being a VA Coach, Colgate is a successful magician, author, and recording artist. He is currently finishing his dual degree in Social Psychology with a concentration in sexual studies.

Phone Game Part 7: Etiquette While Being A Busy Man

This is part seven of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

Etiquette is important when you are on the phone.  Proper phone etiquette conveys social intelligence and is a DHV.  Yet sadly it is something which most people simply do not have.  These days, people do a lot of annoying things when they are talking to a person on the phone.  As a PUA you need to be a man who not only doesn’t do those things, but also a man who doesn’t stand for it when someone else does them to you.  As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

One of the most annoying things that happens on the phone is when you call someone and they are busy with something else and not giving you their full attention.  If you call her up and she sounds distracted or busy or like she’s with friends or at work, cut the call short.  Have you ever called a woman and then, in the middle of a sentence, had to stop because she got distracted by something else on her end of the phone and was ignoring you?  It’s annoying and rude and as a PUA, you should be too busy to sit and wait for her to finish talking to her friend while you are sitting there on the phone alone.  Just say “You sound pretty busy over there.  How about I call you back.”  This will build comfort because it shows that you are mindful of what is going on in her life, and build value because it conveys that you just don’t have time to sit around and wait for her to pay attention to you.  If she realizes that she was being rude, she might apologize, in which case you can say “Oh it’s no problem.  I just don’t like talking to someone when they can’t give me their full attention.  Don’t worry about it.”  Do this with a friendly and understanding tone.  Do not sound disappointed, angry, or annoyed.  She’s a busy girl just like you, and you understand and respect that.  You would simply prefer to talk to her when she’s not distracted. 

This same rule should apply to you if things start coming up on your end as well.  If you cant be sure that you can commit 100% to the conversation without being distracted by external factors, then just let her know that and call her back later.  Just say “Hey I’ve got ______ happening over here, and I know how much I hate talking to someone who is distracted by something on their end, so how about I call you back?”  This can be a very powerful because it shows that you expect whoever you are talking to on the phone to show you the same courtesy and won’t put up with that kind of rudeness on the phone. 

However, having said all that, you can build a tremendous amount of value if you ARE distracted by something important that is happening on your end of the phone.  Most of the time, I will answer my phone if I know that she will hear the sounds of adventure and excitement in the background.  If there are people laughing, shouting or shrieking excitedly, or if there is music playing in the background then I’ll answer as I’m leaving the room so that she can still hear the noise but will be able to hear me fine.  The key here is to let her know that you can only talk for a second because you are in the middle of something, but still talk to her for a little longer so that she can try to hear what is going on.  If your target asks you what you are up to you should use your best judgment regarding whether you should tell her or just be coy about it.  You’re probably not going to want to tell her that you’re all just playing Call of Duty at your apartment, but you are going to tell her if you’re having some drinks at a friend’s place while he grills up some steaks.  The idea here is to demonstrate that you are a busy, sociable guy who has a lot going on in his life.  Just be sure to remember the rules for etticate described above when you do this. 

Another important rule to remember here is to never give her the impression that you are TRYING to keep her on the phone when she doesn’t want to be.  The moment you sense that she’s isn’t really invested in the conversation, end the call.  If applicable, get her to call you back, but add in that she can’t call you during a certain period because you will be busy then yourself.  The phone is all about comfort.  Not just building it, but preserving it as well.  She should never feel uncomfortable talking to you on the phone and it should never feel like you are TRYING to keep her there.  In fact, it’s a good rule of thumb to end the call before she does, that way you can be sure that you are never dragging things out too long. 

Finally, DO NOT rely on texting for your phone game.  This is another common trend amongst new PUAs: they see texting (and also online messaging) as a way to avoid the awkwardness and anxiety of a phone call and so they only ever text their targets.  But unless you’re dealing with extremely young or immature girls, most women will tell you that a man who texts her instead of calling is probably doing it because he’s too afraid to call her and is thusly is not going to get a date with her. 

Don’t believe me?  Make this into your opener (“Hey guys, phone or text?”) and find out for yourself. Women are a lot more perceptive about these things than you think. 

Texting should be used for sending silly messages back and forth, to let her know you’re thinking of her, or maybe sending a quick update on plans you have already made (see my previous articles on phone game for more on this).  It is VASTLY more difficult to build comfort via text than it is through a phone call.  People need to hear a voice.  They need to feel your emotions when you tell a story.  Far too much of the meaning in your communication is lost in text messaging.  It’s for this very reason that I almost never add my targets to MSN, Facebook, or any of that stuff until after we have had - at the very least - a solid Day-2. 

Well that’s it for phone game.  I think I covered everything I’ve learned here in these articles.  Check back soon for my next article on make sure you and your wings are learning the most from each other. 
 

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

My Home is Where I Game

Here you are. You’ve arrived to your venue and chances are this will be your only venue for the night. You’re fully excited, you’ve been planning it for hours, your cheat sheet is in your pocket, your breath is fresh, you are already in a talkative mood and ready for some action. But there’s one thing that suddenly seems to attack your mind: it’s your first time in this venue.

Aside from the friends you came with, there’s nothing you know in this place. Yes you’ve heard about it of course a lot of times and you probably know what kind of bar or club it is, but that won’t change the fact that you’re a newbie there and so you are penetrating the unknown. For some, this might not cause any problem but for others it seems to be like a devastating thought and you might feel so uncomfortable that your game could be completely ruined in the first seconds of your entry. So how can this feeling go away? Well it all depends on you my friend!

The reason why you feel unsure is because thousands of years ago going to an unknown field was a real danger. If the people of that field wouldn’t accept you as one of theirs, chances were your existence would end. Today we luckily live in a different era but in our heads we still feel this fear. As it is for the approach, the fear of the unknown keeps coming back and you need to learn how to deal with it. The good news is, it’s actually very easy to get rid of this feeling.

First of all before entering the venue put yourself in the right state of mind! Your goal of the night is to have fun and meet people. Yes of course you’re there to pick up girls, but don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t tell yourself :  “I have to pick up girls” but try rather this: “I’m excited to have fun and make new friends”. Repeat this to yourself at least 10 times. That way you will already feel less stressed before you make your entry.

Once you are in the venue imagine you are entering your own living room. Now honestly; how do you feel when you are in your living room? Exactly, you’re relaxed and you don’t give a damn about anything. So why would it be different in here? Keep that picture of your living room for as long as you can or as long as you need to.

Don’t wait till you get in that state. Open immediately! Whether it’s the blond Diva next to the toilets or the fatty at the bar, it doesn’t matter. Make yourself at home! Wave to your (non existing) friend, smile, high-five girls or guys. Would you do all this if you were hosting a party at your place? Of course you would!

Whatever happens in the venue, good or bad, always ask yourself how you would react if you were at home. Do I care if a girl rejects me? No it’s cool, let’s move on.  Do I care if a guy tries to AMOG me? Nope, I’m smarter than him and I don’t fall into his game. It’s my home, my Game.

The last thing you need to do to completely forget that you have never been in this venue is to really believe that you are the owner. Walk in a way that conveys that you are a leader. Get your hands together on your lower back with a straight position and chat with anyone as if you were the president.

Wherever you go, there will always be a first time and if the fear of the unknown threatens to kill your night it’s more important to be prepared for that then for your Game itself. When you have the right state of mind, nothing can go wrong. So make yourself at home, any time, any place.

 

Moonlight

About Moonlight

Moonlight is a VA Coach operating out of Antwerp, Belgium and has been in the Seduction Community since 2005. He is a VA Coach and In-Field Instructor. In addition, he is a dancer, singer and actor. Moonlight is passionate about Psychology and Social Interaction.

Matador Review - Los Angeles One on One Training

Los Angeles Personal Training, Oct 31 through NOV 3

You guys get ready for this! Do not waste your time reading my post…unless of course your interested in skipping levels&being called a cheater for training with the community’s best pick up artist (Besides Mystery). You will get really good really fast within the first day! (If you apply,focus,listen, and push.) You will be shocked at the end results! However, Matador can only train you as much as you allow him. I didn’t have any boundaries as far as holding myself back so he went all out in training me.

He picked me up from my hotel in L.A then we left for breakfast at a local diner…told him if he had 4days to turn me into a master pick up artist how will he do it..? (Inside I was confident, if it couldn’t be done then i was going to be the closest one to achieve it! Didn’t say it though) So he looked at me&chuckled. Handed me a notebook with a pen and told me to write down everything he says. (No i will not post any material or core concepts he taught me sorry) So the brain transfusion began. I was a sponge in water…A student seeking out answers to questions i have continuously asked…Matador had the answers. (game applies in every convo not just pick up so I learned a life tool!)

o.k so after training all day, got dressed, its Friday night, its game time! Matador’s bodyguard is waiting for us at the red carpet in front of club Social on sunset. Matador’s cool hot girlfriend rolls with us. (she speaks fluent Italian, an actress whose been in Italian movies, &used to model) she showed me her modeling pics their hot! So were in the the v.i.p room inside the club, its Halloween, & almost every girl is hot!!! There were porn stars! (we’ll talk about that in a sec) Matador shows me how to do his “Mayhem Technique” &makes out with this 3set! His girlfriend tells me to go bring some girls to our table, so I go open, attract, and bring a 3set. Isolated my target, then realized she wasn’t my type. So opened&after a little game, made out with this other girl. Matador&I took over! We opened every set, everyone was at our table or trying to get there…Told Matador I am stepping outside for a sec&I’ll be back. When I did, noticed one of the hottest porn stars at the club was out for a quick breather! This was it! Now or never…this was…my chance! It was all on me.

No hesitation I open, negged, non verbal false time constraint, used a DHV I learned that day(along with some other things he taught me) then everything started making sense It was all coming together now, its easy to run game…She was jumping through my hoops&the convo escalated through the stages.(Open, Attraction, Qualification, Comfort) Dude inside i was like WHOA! (applying matadors concepts was key though) So i rolled off at an high attraction point (lethal) then went inside the club found and opened another set. The porn star follows me! And COCK BLOCKS the 3set of girls i had just opened! So i look at her…she looks at me…I smile…then total make out! I spot Matador close by looking at me like, your a quick learner, good job bro! (I think he had expected that from me though.) He was in proximity & giving me briefs on how to play it, which was a good way for the girl&I to get the chance to get to know each other better, didn’t know any other way considering how many times she was getting hit on… So thats how i played it, then rolled off again… So shes chasing me through the club, &the camera crew is chasing her for pictures! Finally i give up, she was just too persistent lol she tells me she’s tired of people touching her&taking pics&wants to leave now.

Matador tells me to meet him at this 24hr restaurant close by. So i left&got a head start with my girl. We get there and waitress tells me there is an hour wait! Matador is stuck in traffic, (horrible on sunset during wknds) &unfortunately for me, my girl is so hot i get AMOG’D by Mystery’s stunt double…(its Halloween) but i disarm him&3 of his friends with some Matador AMOG tactics (genius). One of the guys was desperate and tried a last attempt by telling me he wants to show me a magic trick…I looked at my target and tell her “look honey dinner&a movie” she laughed I did 2…(it was our moment) Then I txt Matador to tell him whats going on…He txt back “Be there in a minute”

So the alpha guy of the group starts threatening me he’ll bring Tyler Durden to take my girl. So i tell my target to walk away she does, then I looked at the guy&tell him im Matador’s student where the hell are your girls?! (no disrespect to Tyler Durden) anyways the guy doesn’t believe me…Then Matador jumps out the car! This dudes jaw drops! And doesn’t say a word. We go inside the restaurant where my target&I built more comfort. And lets just say…the rest…is whatever your imagination wants it to be (just dnt get weird lol) &no i wont say the porn stars name, we still talk…

On Saturday Matador critiqued my game and we discussed new topics. By night time i felt like a full grown Bull around a bunch of calves! We went to a different club from the one on Friday&I hooked a 3set that ended up being a 6set! My target, a exotic Australian dancer! Who was on tour with her friends..Matador had already hooked in 2-2set’s&was on the third. Our table had too many girls, it was getting irritating though because i just wanted to get to know my target. So after befriending her group was able to isolate. Guys she was tough! I ran 3dhv’s with a combination of other things, she liked me just wont let me kino escalate…So Matador says roll off&fire a jealousy plot line(taught me a gd way to do it, never fails) So i did…But she didn’t like it because she was getting really jealous! So after a while looked at her, smiled, and asked if she’ll behave…She responds with a make out (i guess thats a yes) and then we bounced to matador’s gd friend’s mansion…whose now my friend as well. Lets just…say…the rest…is for your imagination as well…

Sunday we worked on more game. Then we went shopping&put together a custom avatar for my identity! Looked really good plus i kept getting opened by different girls. That night we went to Neil Strauss’s house, where he hosted a pick up artist party! Which i cant discuss (respect to Neil&Matador) what happens inside stays inside…but it was Freakin FUN!!!

Monday he went over any questions&we reviewed everything i learned that night. (not 2brag but call it how it is) Matador&I took over the whole floor (He took us to a club-lounge which gets PACKED on Monday) I stole a 2set from these 2 guys (nothing to be proud of) and Matador got lost in a crowd of 7 girls (so jealous) &then bounced these 2 cool Russian girls to a restaurant…then Matador wanted to go home&chill with his girlfriend, I don’t blame him. (Respect) So i had to hold down court with the 2set. Lets just say…the rest…hmm actually!…you know what…yea…for your imagination!

The following morning my flight departed back to Houston,Texas. Overall I think you should do the 1 on 1 training if you don’t mind going back home seeing other people be envious of your new power. &some guys would misuse this knowledge for their selfish purposes. (Its not cool to hurt a girl, we are men&should protect them at any cost from creeps!) If your not a bad guy then what are you waiting for?! You got to create your lifestyle nobody will hand it to you. Make it happen! Matador you changed my life by sharing with me your wisdom. Which allowed me to achieve a higher intuition level&even a greater level of awareness. And for that…not only do I appreciate…..but would like to take a moment…and Thank You! Was fun being their, as friend, student, and protege….Ttyl brother

Phone Game Part 6: If You Don’t Get Her On The Phone

This is part six of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.

If you’ve messed up somewhere in your game (or sometimes even if you’ve run perfect game and there are other factors in her life that are interfering with things), it can sometimes be very hard to get your girl on the phone for the first couple of calls. As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

I’ve seen a lot of talk in the past about never leaving a message and just calling back a little later. Some older community teachings also advocate using a blocked number or, if you think she’s screening your calls, calling her from another number/payphone/etc. I disagree with all of this because, personally, I think it’s really creepy.

Leaving A Voicemail

The way you leave a voicemail can sometimes make or break a set.

I personally like Mehow’s idea of leaving a message but keeping it short and sweet:

“Hey, it’s Kevin. You can call me back.”
“Hey, it’s Kevin. We’ll talk later.”

Keep it friendly and warm, but simple and clear. DON’T do this:

“Hey this is Brian, we met at ____. I was wearing that hat that you said made me look like Kid Rock. I really liked talking to you and wanted to see if we could get together sometime. Maybe I could buy you dinner? Call me back: my number is 555-1AFC. Again, that’s 555-1AFC. Hope to hear from you soon. Talk to you later. It’s Brian, by the way. Ok. Call me! Bye!”

That will NOT get you a date!

Assume she knows who you are (and she SHOULD if you built enough comfort before you got her number) and assume that she will call you back. If that’s your reality, and it’s compelling enough, it will happen.

If She Doesn’t Respond

If she does not respond to your texts or answer your calls, DO NOT keep texting or calling her. One of the creepiest things you can do when gaming your target is to continuously call or text her. Don’t even bother blocking your number either. If she’s already screening her calls, she will figure out pretty quickly that it’s just you calling from a blocked number, from a payphone, etc. Call her from your phone with your number once and leave a message.

I will rarely make a second call the same day if she doesn’t answer her phone or phone back. Same goes for texts: if she doesn’t respond to my first text of the day, I probably wont text her again that day unless I hear from her somehow. Also, because I usually only make one phone call until I hear from her, I will only ever leave one voicemail per day. If you’ve sent her a text and a phone call already that day and she still hasn’t talked to you, anything further than that can come off weird and stalkerish. Leave a voicemail on your first call of the day and then wait for her.

Anything more than this can be creepy and a MASSIVE turn-off.

Also, over the years I’ve seen a lot of guys (myself included, sadly) resend a previously sent text “just in case she didn’t get it”, thinking that even if she did get the first one, she will just assume the repeated text is just a duplicate (people texting from or to people in bad signal areas will sometimes get duplicate texts over and over again with some service providers). Unfortunately, most women know that you’re really just sending her the same message (emotionally needy girls do this A LOT), so do not do that either. You’re not being clever, you’re just doing what every other AFC does. If your phone says the text went through, assume that it went through. If she wanted to talk to you, she would text you back.

Again, I repeat:

DO NOT BE THAT CREEPY GUY THAT KEEPS CALLING, TEXTING, OR LEAVING MESSAGES. It astounds me how many men will fill a woman’s voicemail or send them dozens (that’s dozens PLURAL!) of texts per day if the woman doesn’t call them back. A woman doesn’t want a guy who is going to constantly hound her if she doesn’t contact him. She doesn’t want a guy who is going to “chase” her so much that it borders on stalking. She wants a guy that floats well below her comfort limits and lets her chase HIM.

If you don’t get her on the phone the first time you call her, wait a couple of days and repeat the pattern outlined in the previous posts. If you don’t hear from her again, wait a slightly longer amount of time and then try again. If you haven’t gotten a hold of her after two or three calls (maybe four, but sometimes that can be pushing it), it’s time to call it quits and go back to square one. But before giving up on the set entirely, you can try the Last Ditch Phone Message.

The Last-Ditch Phone Message

The Last Ditch Phone Message (I’m pretty sure I got this from Mystery, but I could be wrong) should be the last voicemail you leave for her if you haven’t been able to get her on the phone. You give her one last opportunity to take a chance and actually get to know you. It should go like this (I basically say the lines below verbatim):

Hey, it’s [Prophet]. You know what, let's just barrel through this. I know it's uncomfortable to meet new people. But let's just, you know, barrel through because this is important. This is how all our loved ones got into our lives, all the people we love and all our friends. Let's just get through the initial weirdness of meeting someone new and if we don't end up liking each other, at least we know we tried. So let's hang out. Ten minutes. Call me back.

Note that this is the Last Ditch Phone Message. If the girl hasn’t called you back so far, there is still a good chance she still wont, but this kind of call to action can sometimes save an otherwise failing set. Once gain, don’t sound creepy when you leave this message. Avoid sounding angry our disappointed, just be confident and upbeat. If you convey the right energy along with that message, it can turn things around from time to time.

DO NOT, I REPEAT: DO NOT sound pissed off that she hasn’t called you back. You should never sound upset that she hasn’t called. If she even detects that you are reacting to her lack of response on an emotional level she will unconsciously conclude that you are over-reactive and needy, and DEFINITELY wont call you then.

Next week: my final notes on Phone Etiquette.

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Your Hands for Her Pleasure. Part 1

Your Hands for Her Pleasure
Part 1 or 5

Remember the rush you got the first time you put your hands inside a girls panties? There’s no place you’d rather have been than down her pants. The joys of exploring something foreign, something new, it was almost surreal. One thing we may overlook is how excited the girl may have been and how can we help create that rush for her again. She has likely had a few unskilled and rushed lovers in her past. Which means more often than not, women are not satisfied or even disappointed with sexual interactions. With vulva massage and foreplay, act as if you are an explorer uncovering the secrets to her genitals. If you press the right buttons and push the right pressure points, sexual bliss is on the horizon.

Let’s talk about some techniques to give her that same rush and feeling. These next 4 articles are going to talk about vulva massage and digital stimulation (fingering). Most sexual scripts include some type of manual stimulation, especially during foreplay. To be a skilled, sexual lover, it takes the know how and the ability to perform in the moment. I know sex can be intimidating, depending on the level of experience you have or even the attractiveness of the woman lying next to you, but we all have to fight through our demons that affect our confidence. You’re all learning ways to manage the approach anxiety; we have to also learn to ways to manage sexual performance anxiety. One of the most important ways to turn sexual insecurity into sexual confidence is mastery of technique. Behavioral change can implement cognitive change, or learning better ways to please her can help you feel better and more confident about your sexual skills. Sexual confidence often comes from repeated positive sexual experiences, which generally come from doing the right moves in the bedroom over and over again. Hearing that you helped her reach her first orgasm, someone telling you they’ve never been touched like that before, and witnessing a partner lose themselves in pleasure can make us smile, feel good about ourselves, and help us to stick our chests out a bit more. If you know you’re knowledgeable and good at something, you’ll probably do it well and feel competent when doing it.

Some tips before we get into techniques. First, set the stage for hands and fingers to perform. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve spoken to complain about men’s fingernails. Long, uncut nails or freshly cut, unfiled nails have the potential to scrape the vulva and the vaginal canal. I compare it to a tooth accidentally scraping your penis when receiving oral sex. Ouch!

Wouldn’t that affect your ability to focus on the pleasure of the moment? Don’t set the stage for her to focus on a scrape in the vagina rather than the way you’re fingering her.

More nail advice. Be careful with the vulva/vagina massages after hot wing night at Hooters or eating that spicy burrito from your favorite Mexican spot. Salsa, hot sauce, and lemons are just a few examples of things that can burn when exposed to a tear of the skin on the vulva or in the vagina. Ever had shampoo get inside your urethra (pee hole) in the shower? Ya, burning like your penis needs to call 911. The same can happen to her, so keep those fingernails clean, wash your hands before and after sexual interactions, and don’t be known as the “hot salsa” guy to a group of girls. Aspire to be known as the “magic hands” guy!

Find a way to soften up your hands. For those that hit the gym, lift weights, and do manual labor, our hands can go from soft to a rough callous mess in no time. I remember the days of lifting weights and feeling pride over my scruffy hands. Today, I’d rather sexually please the girl than impress my fellow gym rats. It doesn’t feel good for a woman to have rough hands scraping across her vulva. It’s like expecting a feather massage and getting sandpaper. Some options are manicures, wearing workout gloves, scrubbing your inner hands with pumice stone, and using hand moisturizer. So keep those nails trim, filed, clean, and make sure your hands are soft and inviting for repeat vulva visits.

Public service announcement: Saliva just isn’t enough! Think back to the times you were rubbing a woman’s genitalia, digitally stimulating her (ok, fingering her), and the lubrication seemed to gradually fade. What did you do, keep spitting in your hand? Do you think she finds that sexy? Some women produce enough lubrication for clitoral, vulva stimulation and vaginal penetration, but most don’t. Biologically, vaginal lubrication was meant to facilitate penile entry for eventual ejaculation and procreation, not necessarily long foreplay sessions. You will find a great number of women complain about men rubbing their clitoris and vulvas while the surface is dry and fingering her when there isn’t sufficiently lubricated. Don’t blame her or yourself, its nature’s fault for not taking pleasure into consideration. Guys, it can be a lot like receiving manual stimulation. How do you like a dry handjob? Don’t those usually work a little better with lube? My advice: go to your nearest sex toy shop and buy small, individual sized packets of lube. Keep one or two in your pocket at all times in case a vulva comes knocking at your door. Each packet is inexpensive (few bucks), can be used for handjobs and vulva stimulation, as well as eventual (or should I say hopeful) penile/vaginal/anal penetration. Remember, use water-based lubricants, not water soluable (can have oil) or oil-based, as water-based lube is latex compatible for condom use. Also, the word on the street is that lubes with the ingredient glycerine/glycerol can increase female yeast and are linked to reoccurring yeast infections. Check the lube ingredients and ask your sex shop salesperson for help. It might mean the difference between her getting a bacterial infection and you getting a repeat invitation to come over. The next 4 articles will focus on vulva stimulation techniques, clitoral stimulation techniques, vaginal stimulation techniques, and combination techniques. So lets start talking about what our hands can do to get her panting, moaning, and her heart pumping.

Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.

Question and Answer with Mystery Part 2

AFC: Last Saturday I met this young woman and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since then. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing before I fall asleep and even at that I’ve been finding it hard to get to sleep because my mind is so full of thoughts of her.

Mystery: Please remember that realistically, she is only an OPTION. These emotions are not healthy until AFTER the relationship has started. ALSO, men who have many women vying for their attention would be USED to women and therefore would not go al GAGA over OPTIONS. This makes you look WEAK in her eyes.

AFC: My heart aches when I’m not near her and my head spins when I am near her. Ok…yes I’ve fallen deeply, way to quickly…but I can’t help myself.

Mystery: Unless you are willing to WALK AWAY, it is unlikely that you will obtain her. You will go through what most NEWBIES go through. You will pine for her and some other guy (like me) will slip in a take her from you. The best you can do is become a FRIEND - which hurts even more because you’ll have to become friends with her boyfriend too. Save time by PRETENDING to be used to women already. Be willing to walk away and give some neg hits once in a while. Trick yourself into thinking she is ugly but entertaining. Then you will not let her shit on you in any way.

AFC: And that’s exactly the message I got from her. ‘I’m not looking for anybody, I don’t want anyone in my life right now, I’m just here to have fun’ is exactly what she said to me. It was a good learning experience for me.

Mystery: It’s a good bet she IS looking for someone but if just fed up with the fact she can’t find someone who appeals to her. If you can CONNECT with her, you’d be in. Do 3 neg hits, a connection pattern and some humor like the pull my finger joke and she would change her mind and you would have a g/f who was a 10. And she’d have a b/f who was funny and had a connection with her and confident.

AFC: That’s all fine & good I suppose. But the one I approached had come alone, and had no noticeable friends around her.

Mystery: She came alone to be harassed by men? Don’t you see she’s lonely? No guys try to get past the beauty bullshit and make her feel a connection. 10’s have their own set of problems. It’s not harder to get a 10, only different.

AFC: Getting a flock of women around me in this early stage of my ‘playa’ development was out of the question as well. Maybe in the future.

Mystery: Yeah, this DOES take a considerable degree of confidence. I know, it took me a long time to get this shit together this way. I became a performing artist and this stage stuff helped me get confident with the girls even more. Thing is, I think I’m more of a pick-up artist than a performing artist. I just got good at performing to meet more girls I guess. More options.

AFC: Please….I’m begging for some advice here - I can’t let her pass me by.

Mystery: realistically, with this emotional approach, you ARE going to let her pass you by. Be willing to walk away FIRST. You are only excited about her as an OPTION. Before you met her she wasn’t an option. If another girl came into your life that was beautiful and pleasant to you, you would call her an option too and no doubt your emotions would go haywire. As you experience more you’ll realize there are TONNES of OPTIONS out there. You just have to MAKE them YOUR options. I wager you DON’T get her but if you follow my advice, you’ll increase your slim chances at least.

Good luck though.

Matador One on One Review by Torero

One on One review by Torero

It’s one thing to read his articles about the art of pickup and to watch him talk and teach on VH1’s TV show
“The Pickup Artist”, but it’s a whole other thing to have a one on one weekend with James Matador.
There are many things that factor into the art of pickup and Matador demonstrates them in each and
every one of his pickups. His game is tight and his keen eye to read and respond to the current
emotional state of the room is truly uncanny.

My three days with Matador began on Friday afternoon at the hotel lobby when we went through the
psychology and the theory behind pickup. Why do women act the way they do? What are they looking
for? We covered most of the theory and began with Openers. Matador demonstrated the proper body
language that needs to be demonstrated. “You just need to be comfortable with who you are and show
it.” I asked how to do that. “It’s easy. Check it out”; he gets up and starts walking around the lobby,
pretending to see a girl and giving her a nice little kiss. I looked around and see the people next to us,
the waitresses and the bartender are all watching him. But Matador is completely calm and cool as if
nothing is happening and he’s completely comfortable in his skin and he does not feel awkward by the
social pressure to act “normal”. Later that night went to a club and I met Lovedrop, Rizen and three
other girls who came with them. One of the girls, Erika introduced herself and told me that she’ll be our
wing for the night and therefore it will be a lot easier to open and attract. After about five minutes, I see
Matador talking to this couple. He’s completely dominating the conversation and she is giving him IOI’s
even though she seemed to be with the guy. After the about five minutes or so the guy leaves and it’s
now Matador and the girl. After a couple minutes he brings her over and introduces her to the rest of
our group and moves on the next. That night I opened as many sets as I could and I got one number
although I didn’t feel it was a quality pickup.

The next day I spent with Rizen. He helped me get some avatars and later we covered the
theory behind attraction. We met with Matador and Lovedrop later that night and went to another club.
I was feeling much better and decided to start using what I had learned earlier. I opened an 8 set and
ended up isolating one of the girls from the set. After that, I was feeling pretty good and started
approaching more and more girls. Right before the end of the night I was talking to this hottie when I
noticed Matador at the bar talking to this girl. All of the sudden he picked her up and put her on the bar
and started making out with her. After about 10 seconds or so he turns around and starts making out
with this other girl behind him. Again after another 10 seconds or so, he moves on the third girl. I look
around and I see people watching him as if he is doing magic. My girls started asking me: “Oh My Gawd,
who is that guy? Do you know him?” It was very impressive.

I learned a lot in my three days as I recognized my sticking points as well as proper delivery of the
routines. I also learned that there is no magic formula. You need to be able to calibrate and think on
your feet. Not only that, you need to be able to talk and talk and talk. Be interesting and funny. You can’t
premeditate every move before you walk in to a set.

The good
You see how it’s done. You get first hand feedback where you go wrong. But keep in mind, you’re on your own to a certain extent. You get comments like “Go get a girl and bring her to our group,” or “open the girl next to us.” and from that point on you’re kind of on your own. It’s not like you were wearing an ear-
piece in your ear and repeat the lines as you hear them from the instructor.

The Bad
The cost. I can’t tell you if it’ll be worth it for you. It depends on you, and what you will get out of it varies from person to person. I can tell you that it’s not for everyone. There is no magic formula. It’s trial and error.

Do looks matter:
Yes and no. If you’re good looking it will be easier to open and break through the initial “who the f… are you and why are you here” but if you can’t talk and can’t keep them interested, it really doesn’t matter how good looking you are.

Classic Writings: Number ESP Gambit by Mystery

Walk up to a girl and say, “Do you believe in ESP?” Remember to SMILE or you may startle her. “Just think of the first # that pops into your head from one to four. Don’t say it. Just think it … now take that # and imagine that it is drawn on a blackboard in your head. Have you done that?”

She says OK

“What’s so neat about imagination is … we both have it … On the blackboard, I see the number … three.”

Whether you get it right or not reply.

“Alright, lets try this one more time. This time think of a different # from one to 10. Got it? Picture it in white chalk on the blackboard … you are thinking of the number … 7.”

If you got the first wrong and the second right, you look like you finally got it … a 1 in 10 chance. If you get BOTH right (a 90% chance seeing as it is a psychological trick where most north Americans naturally choose 3 and 7 as their first picks) that’s a 1 in 40 chance … “and of course I don’t stake my reputation on mere chance.”

If you get the first right but the second wrong or both wrong, say… “PROOF! ESP does NOT exist!” Then start to laugh like this “Mooa ha ha ha ha ha ha! And you believe in ESP!” a good neg hit to start. If she mentions that most people pick 3 and 7 (most girls wont know this though) just say, “really? Hmm… didn’t know that … thank you Cliff Claven.” (From Cheers)

If you take the wording I have and do this EXACTLY as stated, you will be surprised HOW well you will do. When they ask HOW, tell them … I DON’T KNOW. Tell her you can SEE the #s on your imaginary blackboard. This is NOT a trick. You hate magicians. If she wants you to do this again, tell her … “don’t be greedy now.”

Speaking of greedy … if a girl kisses you on the cheek and goes to kiss your other cheek, tell her, “Only one … don’t be greedy.” This is a good NEG HIT. Mild but a neg hit nonetheless. If she says, “Yes, but I’m French”, you reply, “Are all French girls as greedy as you?”

Classic Writings: C’s vs U’s by Style

This one is AWESOME if you’re sarging strippers and models. It’s also completely true.
Style: Smile again for me.
HB: um, okay.
Style (to wing): See, she’s a U.
HB: ????
Style: I dated a girl who wanted to be a pop star. And she had a theory that people with U-shaped smiles were perceived as unfriendly. And people with C-shaped smiles were perceived as friendly.
HB: So what’s a U then?
Style: A U is when your teeth go straight back in your mouth (can add “kind of like a horse” if she’s a SHB). A C is when there’s a big row of pearly whites in the front. And to my ex, it was more than a theory. She actually got her teeth surgically reshaped from a U to a C.
HB: No way.
Style: And she had me go look at pictures of like Christina Aguilera, who is a U, and Britney Spears, who is a C. Look at the cover of Us or any magazine, and you’ll see that it’s always a C smile on the cover.
From here, me and the target start inspecting the teeth of random strangers looking for the perfect C or U. It’s fun.

Style

Phone Game Part 5: Your Voicemail Can Be Your Wingman

This is part five of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.

Your voicemail greeting can provide a surprising amount of information about you. What you say, how you say it, and how long it takes you to say it can all DHV or DLV you. A good voicemail greeting can convey value, humour, preselection, create jealousy…the possibilities are only limited by your imagination. It’s like having a wingman secretary to take your calls when you’re not around! A lot of PUAs overlook the usefulness of their voicemail greeting, which is why it gets it’s very own article here. As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

Your voicemail greeting (the thing that says “I’m not here, leave a message, blah blah blah”) can be used to convey all sorts of things about yourself. If your avatar is something of the “cool, successful businessman” variety, then you can use it to create the impression that you are a very important person in a business sense (which usually implies that you have access to financial resources – a DHV). If you’re a sarcastic, fun, party-all-night kind of guy, then you can use it to convey a sense of fun or cleverness (both are DHVs). Or you can just use it to convey sexuality and preselection which, needless to say, are massive DHVs.

Here are some examples of possible voicemail greetings:

If you have business contacts calling you a lot on your cell, you are kind of stuck with only a few options. If you can get away with it without anyone asking any questions, make your greeting sound incredibly professional, as if you’re worth a million bucks. Make up a name and say something like:

“You’ve reached [insert full name here], I’m not available to take your call. If this is an emergency, please contact Samantha, she’ll know how to get a hold of me.”

And if anyone asks who Samantha is, you can always just say “Oh she’s someone that works with/for me. You won’t ever need to deal with her though.”

Something like this can convey a lot of value. If you are a person who has someone that people can contact to get a hold of you in an emergency (note that it is implied that the important people will already know her number), then you must be an important person. The implications of this fact can be a great subtle DHV.

If you don’t have to worry too much about your boss or clients calling your cell, you can really go crazy with it.

My old greeting used to say “Hey you’ve reached Kevin’s voicemail. Leave your name and measurements and I’ll get back to you.”

One of my wings has one that says “You got the voicemail. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Leave me a sexy message and I’ll get back to you sooner.”

You would be surprised by some of the ridiculous messages we have each received. The trick here is NOT TO SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE. A buddy of mine has one that says “Hey you reached Chris. I either couldn’t make it to the phone or I didn’t want to talk to you. Figure it ouuuuutttt.” Now, if the delivery wasn’t just right on this (or any of the ones above, really) he would sound like quite a douchebag. But he has just the right amount of humor and silliness in his voice to make you laugh when you hear it, so it’s perfectly fine.

This is again a DHV because you are showing a good sense of humor while simultaneously conveying sexuality, and if nothing else, sets you apart from the average guy. If they laugh, you’ve got it right. If they leave you a sexy message, you’re doing it right. If they tell you they hate your voicemail, then you should seriously consider changing it (calibrate on whether she REALLY hates it, or if she’s just shit-testing you). If you get a voicemail from your target that says “You need to change that stupid voicemail thing” in a legitimately annoyed voice, you should probably take that advice.

Of course, the absolute best thing to do in my opinion is to get your wing-girl or a female friend with a sexy voice to record a greeting for you. My current greeting says:

“You’ve reached Kevin’s cell phone. He’s a little TIED UP at the moment *giggle giggle* leave a message and he’ll get back to you when he’s FREE.”

And because I love you guys, you can listen to it here (sorry about the quietness and low quality).

These are all just sample ideas that I’ve seen work in the real world very well, but you are by no means limited by them. Expirement! Try different things. Look for voicemail greetings online and either use them as they are or improve them and use your own version. Just as with any type of routine or gambit in the field, what you do is only limited by your imagination!

Regardless of what you use, try to keep is short and sweet. Nothing is more annoying than a greeting that goes on forever about nothing. Have you ever gotten someone’s voicemail and had to listen to them sing a song into your ear for several minutes before you could get to the beep? It’s frustrating and aggravating and most people will just hang up rather than wait. Similarly, I’ve seen some otherwise interesting people apparently just ramble into their phone for what feels like forever. I called a buddy of mine a while back and his voicemail went like this:

“Hey you’ve reached ____, I’m either not available or I’m asleep or my phone is off or something. You can leave a message but it would be better if you just called me back. If you do want to leave a message though, I check it pretty regularly, so I can get back to you. Anyway, leave your name and number and what the call is regarding and I’ll call you back.”

It was horrible! The only reason that – I – sat there and listened to the whole thing was because I just couldn’t believe that it was still going! But who else would really wait through all that just to leave a message? A high-value HB10 with dozen other guys to potentially call? Not likely! You want them to leave a voicemail, so you want to keep your greeting short and to the point.

Next week: how to handle things if you cant get her on the phone!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

What’s Up Her Skirt? Part 2 of 2

What’s Up Her Skirt?
Female Anatomy: Part 2 of 2.

We’ve touched on the clitoris, let’s continue with getting to know a woman’s vulva and discuss the labias. There are two sets of labias (vulva lips), the labia majora and labia minora. The labia majora, also known as the outer lips, extends down from the mons pubis on both sides of the vulva, surrounding the inner lips. They extend all the way to the inner thighs and to the beginning of the buttocks. The labia majora, as with the mons pubis, has hair follicles and pubic hair, which can vary in thickness, texture, color, and scent. Did he just say scent? Yes! Although we live in a culture where most pubic hair is shaved or waxed, there are sexual functions for pubic hair. Research has shown that the scent from vulva secretions from a woman’s pubic hair follicles can actually increase sexual arousal for a male through the olfactory senses and vice versa (smell). That means women can get aroused by your scent (not body odor) as well. A little hair can go a long way. The labia majora are also filled with numerous nerve endings and blood vessels. Blood vessels and blood circulation are important because that can lead to heightened arousal. The more blood we get flowing through the vulva, the higher the likelihood of vasocongestion (engorgement of blood) and increased arousal, sensation, and orgasm.

Beneath the labia majora lie some very important internal structures, namely the crura (roots) of the clitoris and the vestibular bulbs. They are important structures because they can be stimulated to help increase arousal. Many skillful lovers neglect or rush through stimulation of the outer labias, which can be a mistake. This is what I meant in the last article by “watering the roots.” Adequate stimulation of the crura and vestibular bulbs through the labia majora can help lead to a well-lubricated vagina and sexually aroused female.

The labia minora, or inner lips, are located within the labia majora and surround the urethral opening (where female urine exits) and the vaginal opening. They vary in size, color, shape, texture, and appearance. They are hairless and are connected to the clitoral hood. As with all the parts we discuss, they have sensitive nerve endings and should be stimulated during foreplay for arousal purposes. In future articles, we will elaborate on ways to play with the labias for maximum levels of arousal.

The vaginal opening, also called the introitus, is located directly south of the clitoris between the urethral opening and the anus. Most of us understand this is where penetration occurs with the penis, fingers, and toys. However, there are a few things about the vagina and its opening that are important to know. First, the most sensitive portion of the vaginal canal is near the introitus. The outer 1/3 closest to the introitus has a vast amount of nerve endings and is more sensitive than the rest of the vaginal canal. Sexological research has shown that the most sensitive areas of the vaginal opening are located at the 12 o’clock, 4 o’clock, and 8 o’clock positions. Think of a peace sign as a mental reminder for sensitive introitus areas. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, area is located near the 12 o’clock position inside the vagina and the internal vestibular bulbs are located beneath the surface near the 4 o’clock and 8 o’clock positions. Coincidence? This is one of the few times I encourage using a watch and thinking about time during foreplay and sex.

As we venture south on Vulva Boulevard, some people begin to become uncomfortable with our next destinations and that’s perfectly fine. Leave them alone and go in peace. There isn’t a rule that people have to stimulate these areas, but my job is to let you know they can also be used for pleasure and arousal. The perineum is located between the introitus and the anus. It is a patch of skin filled with nerve endings and is often described as pleasurable for those that are comfortable with being touched in this area. The anus is another area of the vulva that is filled with numerous nerve endings and can be a source of pleasure for women. Some women are able to reach orgasm from anal stimulation or penetration, which should highlight for you the arousal potential of the anus. Many women feel uncomfortable with perineum/anal stimulation, so proceed with caution. Use techniques like open communication or obvious inviting non-verbal cues to give anal play the green light. In a future article, you can count on me challenging some of the myths and taboos associated with anal play as I find it to be a wonderful place for pleasure and excitement.

Now, we’ve got the vocabulary down. Believe me, the vulva is much more complicated anatomically and we barely scratched the surface, but the basics were important to cover. There is so much we can do to stimulate the vulva; sensation play, manual touching, digital stimulation, oral sex, fantasy, penetration, sex toys, etc. I’m thinking we should start exploring what our fingers and hands can do to get her hot and breathing heavy…

Dr. Hernando Chaves

Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves

Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.

Question and Answer with Mystery: Part 1

AFC: I am not a woman-hater. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to manipulate anyone into doing something she’ll later regret.

Mystery: Nor am I. Others MAY be certainly, that’s not MY concern. You don’t have to be nor do I. We don’t give a shit about the philosophical underpinnings of the WHY. The HOW is all we care about. Cherry pick what is best for you. Remember though, that many of things we talk about are written because they WORK. RESULTS.

AFC: However, I don’t think that sex with me is something that anyone should regret. I’m a decent man. I treat people with respect. I’m honest. I’m reasonably handsome. I have no diseases. I make a good living. I keep a clean home. I’m an attentive lover. I even have a large penis and good stamina (despite a relative lack of experience).

Mystery: You have realistically defined me. The concept of the ASSHOLE getting more girls than the NICE GUY is partly true though. It has to do with self-respect. Women will test you by shitting on you a bit when you meet her and you must not allow her to shit on you. You will WIN by ‘acting’ like an asshole and therefore not allowing them to shit on you. NICE GUYS finish last because they ALLOW the woman to shit on them.

AFC: Considering all the ugly, disease-spreading, parasitic jerks out there who somehow seem to be able to get beautiful women into bed despite treating them badly, I’m sure there are a lot of beautiful women out there who would be much happier sleeping with me instead.

Mystery: The Art of Attraction is an art of the mind. This is not a game of yatzee. It’s a game of chess. The ugly jerks you refer to may get a girl or two (usually ugly girls) but the smart guys understand that behaving like a ladies man gets more girls. By systematic investigation we discover what works and what doesn’t, share the info so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel and get results. This has nothing to do with being a dirty jerk. This is an elitist group. You need a brain. You need to be sober. You need to take care of your body. You need to learn how to be attentive. This is no easy game of tic tac toe. I am a perfect gentleman. Consider Gone with the Wind (Rhett Butler). He was a cool guy, but when the Scarlet acted up, he didn’t take her shit. Self-respect - is that being an asshole? Hmmm.

AFC: My problem is a lack of social skills, if not life skills altogether. (I think a big part of it is that I’m so afraid of doing anything that will offend or upset somebody that I end up not doing or saying anything at all.) I have a very hard time making friends or lovers.

Mystery: You seem to be suffering from NICE GUY SYNDROME. We call them LAMOs. Nothing personal. Here you are such a smart guy, all clean cut and purdy and yet you can’t consistently get women to find you attractive. See? This has nothing to do with natural looks. It’s all about behavior. How you behave weekly to allow the statistics to work for you and how to behave in front of a state changing beauty. NICE GUYS go home alone when the SMART GUY gets the girls. NICE GUYS call the SMART GUYS … ASSHOLES. Funny, isn’t it?!!!

AFC: Despite what I have said above (and I don’t think that this is a contradiction, although I can understand that some people will perceive it that way), I am not looking for a deep, monogamous relationship. I just want to make some friends, have some fun, and have some sex, preferably with a variety of beautiful women. (Preferably simultaneously, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.)

Mystery: That is an honest WHY. Happens to be MINE too. A little bit of QUALITY with QUANTITY. Not overly unrealistic. I suggest you begin by accepting the NEWBIE MISSION.

**SHOWCASE EDIT: For those not familiar with the newbie mission, it is to go out for 4 hours a night, 4 nights a week for a 6 week period, opening 3 sets an hour which will leave you 20 minutes for each set. Bouncing to a new venue at midnight will keep ensure fresh venues with continuous sets.

Routine Stacking in A1 and A2

Whilst opinions differ on the value of having a ‘Routine Stack’ (a structured list of routines), and the mere topic often promotes debate within the pick up community, I personally found having a stack really helped my development in game. For me it was useful to have early Instant Value Demonstration (IVD) and DHV material scripted in a logical order and ready to go, freeing me up to concentrate on my body language, kino, compliance testing and the development of calibration skills.

As my game improved I moved away from stacks, but I still consider them to be a particularly useful development tool for the beginner and intermediate PUA. In fact a year or two back I began to insist that all my new 1 on 1 students developed personalized stacks before I took them infield. This ensured I could concentrate on their key development areas without the variability of them throwing in routines in a random (and sometimes inappropriate / inefficient / illogical) order. This approach tended to work very well for them, so my support for stack use was reinforced.

A well thought out stack can provide rapid DHV uploads, include multi-threading, boost buying temperature, initiate kino, and test compliance all within a short time period and often without doing too much thinking. This is one of the key reasons stacks are useful for those progressing in game. Ever been in set trying to figure out what to say next? Used a comfort routine that didn’t work out because you through it in too early? Stacked multiple openers and didn’t generate attraction? These types of problems can be removed from your game very early on via the use of a routine stack.

For brevity in this article I’ll describe my favored stack format covering Opening and A2 of the Mystery Method, in my next article I’ll continue running through into A3 and include a typical time bridge and number close routine I’ve used often.

So…In simple terms the basic Mystery Method Open/A2 stack format I have used most is…

• OPENER (with FTC and Neg)
• FTC
• IVD#1
• DHV Story#1
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• DHV Story#2
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• Continue with IVD #2 or DHV #3 and Qualify (Move into A3 stack)

I find that if your first piece following the opener provides the girls with something of value (i.e. an IVD), such as interesting information about them, then they are more likely to hook and listen to your following DHV loaded story. So as an example #1…

PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Is kissing cheating?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, are those real nails? They look nice anyway.
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: Its just my buddy’s girlfriend, she likes to get with other girls…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: “Group cold read” - …something interesting about this group, well she seems like the mother hen, always looking after you all, you seem like the wild one…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Actually though, you remind me of a girl I used to know…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah

I’ve not included all the details of the routines, you could use any appropriate OPENERs/IVDs/DHVs, its just to demonstrate how despite human interaction being non-linear, you can control where the conversation goes by cutting their threads when they milk your topic and stacking forward to your next piece. They can be saying anything in the ‘blah blah blah’ areas, but in the end I’m gonna get my next important IVD/DHV piece across regardless. Another example…

PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Who lies more, men or women?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, how short are you?
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: I saw an article today talking about how often men / women lie…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: ….You have a C shaped smile…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Hey get this, last time I was in this place the craziest thing happened…etc
HB’s: blah blah blah

Straightforward and effective, first 5 or 6 minutes of the interaction accomplished time and time again.

In summary, its my view that a stack allows you to plan the early stages of your interactions, making them efficient by ensuring the set has heard your key leader/protector/pre-selection attraction material without you having to think too much about how to get this info across. I’ve found this can remove some of the variability of your first few hundred sets and frees you up to notice whats going on with body language, IOI’s, compliance levels etc.

Big Love,

Caddy

Caddy@venusianarts.com

Adventures in Cuba - FR

Adventures in Cuba - FR

I just got back from Cuba a couple weeks ago. This is the first time that I’ve ever visited not only a communist country, but a country that doesn’t speak English as their main language. Knowing that the primary language in Cuba is obviously Spanish, I pulled out my iPhone before I left…there’s an app for that. I managed to find an application that not only listed a bunch of common Spanish phrases that would be useful to anyone visiting the country, but a voice actually spoke the Spanish phrase in order for the user to convey the phrase as best as they can.

There were a few problems leaving the Camaguey airport. Because of my hair and my avatar I was stopped by an airport guard and I was questioned thoroughly about whether or not I was a drug user. At this point I was a little scared I was going to be thrown into one of those little rooms that you see in the movies and get the full experience of an interrogation. After ten minutes of explaining how I was NOT an avid drug user I was released. I hopped on the tour bus and finally I was en route to my destination in Santa Lucia. As soon as I walked off the bus, I was an instant celebrity in the eyes of the employees that worked at the hotels. One of the bartenders was so fascinated with my hair that every time I came up to the bar he would immediately serve me over the other patrons who had already been waiting. Combining good social vibing and a powerful style will pretty much guarantee that you are going to be remembered by people, especially in a foreign country. This truly reinforces the power of peacocking. Customizing your avatar is an essential part of the game, as well as your self-development as a whole.

The resort was pretty small, but luckily there was some form of night entertainment at the disco which was up and going at night around 11:30. As my buddies and I were getting ready to hit up the disco in a few short minutes, I decided that it’s time to do my hair up for the evening. I plugged my hair dryer into the bathroom socket, and that shit starts making some really crazy noises and heating up fairly intensely. Then BOOM, the fuse in the bathroom blows leaving the bathroom powerless. As I chuckled to myself I made my way into the main room of the hotel. I ask my buddy if there’s an outlet beside his bed for my hair dryer, he points, I plug in and ZZZZZTTTTTTTT. Before I know it there’s a loud popping sound in the room and the entire suite is powerless. As I laughed my ass off I finished getting ready for the disco and we headed out, my hair undone.

We arrive at the disco fashionably late. There’s no trouble getting in at all, and we stroll up to the bar, music pumping. As we are getting drinks at the bar I pop open the first set that I have to the right of me which happens to be a girl by herself. I opened with the community classic “Who lies more” because of how cliché it is and I thought it would be funny. I run the opener and start to stack into an A2 piece when I notice a random dude come up and try to hug the girl I’m gaming up from behind. I played that shit off like I didn’t even notice the guy trying to slime his way in and stacked my material. As I continued talking, the chick literally grabs the guy and throws him off of her and he disappeared into the night, never to be seen again while she turned back to me to listen intently to what I was saying. It was soon after this that I asked her what she thought about something and I muffled Spanish words among the lines of ” Lo siento, non comprendez pas” which is my horrible translation for “Sorry, I don’t speak English.” I laughed my ass off so hard I ejected the set.

I headed over to the dance floor and worked some dance floor game with some Cuban girls. One thing I definitely noticed over there was that girls were a lot more aggressive at getting guys than in any of the places I’ve been in Canada or the United States. There were different instances when the girls would walk up, try to say hello in very broken English and then just grab your dick, or just plain open you BY grabbing your dick. When this did happen, even though I said things like “OMG buy me a drink before you hit on me like that!” and things of that caliber, it was very obvious that they had no idea what I was saying, but calibrating the right tonality, body language, and facial expressions they felt what I meant as clearly as I could demonstrate without knowing the linguistics behind it. Again, this solidified the principles read in Revelation even more. When Mystery says to be interesting, it doesn’t necessarily mean to try and say interesting things all of the time, it simply means to MAKE everything you say interesting by properly calibrating your vocal inflection and your body language in ways that will make you come off interesting as a person, not just bringing up an interesting topic. These key things project a lot sub communications to the girl that is ultimately more powerful than words.

The next day the big plan was for us all to go drunken mopedding all day. After receiving probably some of the worst instruction I have ever seen in my life, I fired up my moped and drove it right through the fucking rose garden in front of the hotel, tearing up a line of roses and bushes in clear sight. As the dude who rented us the moped started yelling and chasing me, I regained control of the moped and took off into the sunset ignoring his cries.

We were flying down these torn up country roads with goats, horses, cats, and dogs randomly running throughout the streets. At one point, while I was flying down the road I noticed the road start to get a little rough. Before I had much of a chance to slow down I hit a huge pothole in the road which launched me up to land in ANOTHER pothole that threw me off of the vehicle into a huge puddle in the road while my moped crashed into the ground. Best wipe out ever! Good times and I even got the deposit back

While we ate lunch when we got back to the resort, one of the girls my friend was dancing with the night before was giving us proximity by sitting by herself at an adjacent table. My friend wouldn’t initiate the chat, saying that it was something that worked for me, but that he couldn’t approach the girl because he was too afraid of rejection. I found this especially interesting because this guy has hooked up with quite a few chicks over online dating sites, though when it comes to cold approach almost every circumstance he backs down because he is too afraid. I explained to him that rejection ultimately doesn’t matter because the girl is really only rejecting your approach, not you because how could she know you? I also explained how I used to be terrified to talk to women but it is something that I have trained myself to do over time so you progressively get desensitized to it. There’s always a hint of it lingering around but as long as you get those three warm-up sets in, it’s on! Regardless of the speech, he didn’t approach, so I initiated the chat. Like most of the girls, she as well only spoke Spanish with a tidbit of broken English. We talked for a bit and we invited her over to our table to chill, she came over and I just started talking. I would say what seemed to me like very basic English statements, most of which she still didn’t comprehend…when it hit me…why wasn’t I using that Spanish speaking app? I whipped out my phone and utilized it to start conversing with her in Spanish. After some chat we made plans to meet up with her and her friend at the disco that night.

Even though I’ve never been really big on dance game at all, I found when I was in Cuba I was doing it all the time, it was an easy way to break the language barrier, and a lot of the times the girls would open you and bring you out on the dance floor. My brother and I ended up meeting our buddy at the disco, where we discovered that the girl from lunch didn’t show up. As I was making my way back to the dance floor from the bar a woman in a red dress stopped me. After a brief chat, she asked me to dance and pulled my ass to the dance floor. As I was dancing with this girl to some intense grinding while my friend enjoyed the same with one of her friends, we noticed that the girl from lunch and her friend showed up!

We rolled over to the bar to refresh our selves when we were approached by the girls who were supposed to meet us there. Instantly I thought a fight was going to get started because the girl my buddy was dancing with gave a shove to the girl from lunch and they started verbally jousting in Spanish. We quickly grabbed the girls and separated the scene by taking the two we were with back to the dance floor. The other girls followed. To spice things up a bit, I told my buddy to do the same thing I was going to do, which was to dance with the one girl, get grinding and do a big roll off and dance with the other girl. When we started to implement this into our game things got incredibly intense. The girls would grab us away from each other over and over and were grinding all over us as if to show up the other girls. At this point the girl in the red dress asked me to sit down and take a break. I’m quite drunk so I’m having an extremely difficult to try and comprehend the broken English. She tries to tell me something here and she tries to repeat it over and over again on account music pumping vividly in the foreground. She pulls out her smokes, shows me and directs me to come outside with her. Once we are out there she gives me a smoke and makes a little bit of small talk, and then she said something I was NOT expecting: “So we go back to your room and go fucky-fucky?” she asks. “What?” I retort. She repeats the statement, and I tell her that I have a friend in the hotel room. She suggests the beach. Something seems slightly off, my spider sense is tingling. Then she says “Come on, how many pesos? How many pesos?” I start to think, Wow my game must be pretty tight if this girl is going to pay me to…wait a minute! I was being swayed by a Cuban hooker. As I laughed I told her I wasn’t into that sort of deal, and that I was a PUA and such, none of which she understood. I ended up throwing a “Buenos Noches” her way and headed back into the disco, managing to lose myself in the crowd.

I went back into the disco to find my buddy and the other girls. The crazy dance fest continued with the girl and her friend which were some of the best dancers I’ve seen. As they were dancing with us at one point they totally synced up with each other and did the exact same little dance move to me and my friend at the same time which was incredibly sexy. This shit was straight out of Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. From there, everything was else was the pretty standard deal. These girls ended up hanging out with us most of the night while I implemented some intense kino and vibing instead of conversation and, well… fade to black.

I’m glad to be back in Canada, and I have really started to appreciate the social settings we have here a lot more. I was also reassured how important body language, tonality, and expressions are in a set, which can demonstrate a lot of someone’s personality. Next time I head to a country having a native language other than English, it would be a good idea to bone up a bit more on the language because although it isn’t as important as sub communications, you can obviously do quite a bit with linguistics to demonstrate a ton of value. Knowing the language would’ve probably helped me avoid the Cuban hookers a bit better too…but hey, it’ll make a great story to tell the grandkids one day!

About Showcase

Showcase is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/content editor for Venusian Arts, Showcase is also currently concluding his undergrad in the computer sciences and is about to start his post grad in network security. When he is not traveling, Showcase produces, writes, and directs films with Prophet.

How to Generate Your Own DHV Stories, With Examples

How to Generate Your Own DHV Stories, With Examples.

One topic within the art of pick up that many new and experienced PUA’s find difficult is the creation of DHV routines. Luckily, we at Venusian Arts can reach deep into your background and experiences to help you bring forward the coolest things from your own life to talk about in set. Using your own stories means they are congruent with you, and therefore easier to convey with good delivery, passion and energy. This article is gonna show you how.

As a re-cap from the Mystery-Method, DHV stories are aimed at demonstrating the ‘key attraction switch’ flicking qualities of Leader / Protector / Pre-Selection / Successful risk taker / willingness to emote. There are others (well traveled, experienced etc) but these are the main things we should convey in A2 and beyond.

People sometimes think DHV stories need to be seriously hard hitting and jammed with very obvious DHV ’spikes’. For example…”hey get this, I just got back from Sydney, well the plane was late and my ex girlfriend, who was waiting at the airport for me was late for a modeling shoot, and already had a parking ticket on her Ferrari” [demonstrates pre-selection].

But you know, demonstrating attraction switches can also be as simple as saying something like “my ex-girlfriend called me, she was freaking out, I mean REALLY scared, so I got her to focus, I told her “listen to me babe, trust me, everything is gonna be fine”” [demonstrates pre-selection, protector and some leader qualities].

“I don’t have any DHV stories” is something I’ve heard more than anything from PUA’s since I’ve been teaching Game. Guess what? you all have experiences that can be turned into DHV stories, whether your 18 or 80. I’ll show you…lets get that grey matter working, get a pen and think of a time when you…

• Had something interesting, funny or unusual happen to you
• Were there for someone with a problem (friend had a dilemma, spoke to you for advice)
• Stood up and supported somebody (it was hard for him, so I stood up and said lets do this together. I mean my friends and I are totally there for each other)
• Calmed someone down (“she was really scared, I told her to focus on me and that everything would be ok”)
• Organized something for friends (holiday, away trip, day out etc)
• Were chased by a girl (“she was bombarding me with text messages”)
• Did something with a girl(s) (“My friend Jane and I went to….”)
• Took a beating for someone (It was gonna be bad, but we faced it together)
• Told somebody what to do (“they didn’t know what to do next, so I told them to…”)

Hopefully you get the picture of the sorts of questions you should be asking yourself, so we should have some stuff to work with now. With some thought, we can move from the output of these questions to a DHV story.

Example 1 BAD FLIGHT: I had some bad-ass turbulence on a flight once, everyone was screaming, very scary. I told a girl sitting next to me it’d be ok, even though I was crapping my pants LOL.

Wow something crazy happened to me on a flight to Hawaii recently, everybody is feeling relaxed, the stewardesses are serving drinks with their fake smiles going on. Anyway, then the plane starts to bounce, a little at first. Then more, people start to feel nervous. Suddenly it all kicks off, Bang, Bang, Bang, drinks everywhere, said stewardess off the ground, people start screaming. There’s a girl next to me in tears, I’m trying to keep her calm telling her it’ll all be fine. She starts to dig her nails into me! Next thing its all deathly calm and quiet. Severe turbulence the pilots said! After that we both ended up drinking our fair share of duty free a. to keep her nice and calm and b. for me to blank out the pain from where I’d allowed her to dig her nails!

Example 2 POLAND NOSE BREAK: I was out drinking with 2 women friends and had my nose broken in a street brawl. Got it fixed, it was all fine.

I was on holiday in Poland, my second home. I lived out there for a year when I was younger. Well I’d been drinking in a bar with a couple of girls I know. Anyway, one goes outside to order a taxi, and the second girl and I follow her soon after. Outside my friend is being hassled by these 3 drunken guys, I can sense her unease. So I roll over to see what’s happening and they hear me speaking, and presume I’m German, well Poles and Germans don’t always get along so a fight breaks out. When the dust settles, the girls are fine thankfully but my nose is broken. I’m like “ok hospital it is!” where the doc manually fixes my nose! Get this, he then takes out a mirror and says “Is that how it looked before? Well I don’t know, so I open the door and ask the girls and they are like, yeah babe it looks as good as before! LOL [ Protector / pre-selection / well traveled]

So you can see aspects of the questions I asked earlier drawn together in a number of life events, then with a little work these are pulled into DHV stories. The two above are real events from my life, about 90% factual with a sprinkling of embellishment for effect ;¬), and have been run successfully a thousand or more times in A2.

The second question I get asked a lot is “how do I bring these stories into the conversation?”. It’s EASY guys, here’s how. I use what I term “lead-in statements”, usually 2 or 3 sentences that can move the conversation from virtually any topic (routine or fluff!) into my story, examples below…

To get into BAD FLIGHT DHV ROUTINE-
I just noticed, you have a smile you can turn on and off on demand (neg)!
I bet you’d be awesome calming people down in a crisis
It reminds me of a time when…something crazy happened on a flight recently….
OR
I just noticed, are those real nails? (neg)
Ooh I get nervous around girls with nails like that LOL
Its just that…something crazy happened on a flight recently….
OR
Hmmm…I’m guessing you work as an air stewardess? Its just you are very well kept…and you have that ‘blonde’ look ;¬) (neg)
I bet you’d be awesome calming people down in a crisis though
Its like on this flight I had recently…something crazy happened…

So in summary, you’ve seen a couple of examples of DHV stories, how to generate them and how to bring them in to the conversation. Of course it takes practice, and delivery is soo important, but this should get you thinking. In future I’ll write about how we weave in Kino and compliance testing into our DHV stories, and remember that at bootcamps we spend time with you developing your personalized DHV’s, then perfecting them with you in-field.

Now I’m gonna open it up to you guys. Post back a couple of sentences briefly describing an event from your life and I’ll turn a few of them into DHV stories. Lets develop some material with which to rescue the bored HB’s of the world from being asked “do you come here often” and “what do you work as” ;¬). Lets do it brothers….

Caddy

Phone Game Part 4: Between Your First Call And Your Day 2

This is part four of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

Once you’ve built some comfort and had at least one conversation with her on the phone already, it’s time to set up your Day-2. Hopefully, you’ve already seeded a possible hangout when you #-closed her, or at least during your previous phone call(s) so all you have to do is invite her to something you are already doing.

The problem here is that different women have their own sets of social anxieties. Some women will have no problem showing up alone with you and all your friends for some chicken wings, others will only feel comfortable hanging out with your if they have a lot of their friends around, while others may only feel comfortable if it’s just the two of you hanging out together in a very public place.

The most effective approach to this is to give her two options to hanging out with you. My standard Day-2 line is (and I think I got this from Lovedrop): “We’re all doing our weekly wing-night on Wednesday, you should come along. Bring some friends if you want. Or, I’m going shopping on Thursday for a new shirt and you could come help me pick one out.” This way she can choose whichever option will be the most comfortable for her as well as the most convenient (she may actually be busy on one of those days). I say almost the exact same thing every time. I just change out the days and events as necessary.

If she says she wants to bring friends, let her know that it’s fine but make sure you bring some too. Girls and a wingman are ideal here. If you can, try to throw in something to insinuate that you are expecting her to bring her girlfriends, and not her orbiting guy friends (I made this mistake too many times back in the day and it really complicates things). But be prepared that she might bring a guy anyway.

You should also be prepared for her throwing out a counter-offer and suggesting that you do something with her and her friends. Do not take this as an IOD! It is more than likely just a means for preserving her own comfort levels. This will happen from time to time, and unless it’s a large event she wants you to come to, expect to just show up by yourself. And if it is a large event, don’t ask her if you can bring someone, just show up your wing or (preferably) wing-girl.

Just like when you #-closed her to begin with, talk to her a bit more for a few minutes once you set up the hang out and then get off the phone. You can call or text her if you feel it necessary during the days leading up to your day-2, but it is not required. Once again, calibrate it based on the amount of time between your hang-out and how interested she appears to be. You don’t want to be that guy that calls her every day before you hang out just to remind her of the fact that she is supposed to hang out with you (especially if, like me, you set your days-2’s up for within only a few days of your call). But at the same time, there may be occasions when you will need to call or text her at some point (like if there is an extended period in between the conversation and the future day-2). In some sets, if I feel like I need to keep her buying temperature up until we see each other I like to send silly little texts like the ones I listed in part 1. Or I’ll just send her a quick message to let her know about something funny or interesting that just happened.

Try to use your best judgment here. What you will need to do will vary from woman to woman and you’ll eventually just get a sense for it with practice.

When you reach the day of the day-2, you should definitely call her to finalize your plans. I personally never assume that an arrangement to meet up is set in stone simply because in this day and age plans can change instantly and without notice. I always call my target before the day-2, usually in the afternoon if our hang-out is in the evening. I try to keep this call short and sweet because I want more to talk about when we actually meet, but it’s usually best to talk for a minute or two about your respective days before bringing up the meet. As long as you don’t come off as if you are just using filler conversation to avoid bringing up the date (which will come off as insecure and needy), it will help you seem a little less eager to hang out with her. The conversation should have the same vibe that you would have with your friends if you called them up to talk about your plans for the evening.

Next week: how your voicemail can be your wingman when you’re not around!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

What’s That Under Her Skirt? Female Anatomy: Part 1 of 2

What’s That Under Her Skirt?
Female Anatomy: Part 1 of 2.

Imagine this scenario: You’re bringing a beautiful girl back to the bedroom. She’s naked, lying on her back and she spreads her legs open right in front of you. If you can focus on observing what you’re looking at instead of immediately wiping the drool from your mouth and jumping her bones, you would be looking at her vulva. Vulvas are not Swedish cars known for safety. The vulva is a fancy medical term for everything you see when you look at a naked female’s outer genitalia (sexual anatomical parts). Vulvas vary in shape, color, texture, and in appearance. Each is unique and a blessing to be next to, so leave the comparisons to Hustler at the door. Most vulvas in magazines or porn are digitally/surgically altered and not what women really look like. The major parts of the outer genitalia consist of the mons pubis, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia majora, labia minora, vaginal opening, the perineum, and the anus. I know what your thinking? What the hell is a mons pubis? This might remind you of school, but it’s absolutely essential we go over these terms. What are they? Where are they located? What to do with them? A great lover knows about these body parts and understands their importance as well as learning how to stimulate them. Knowing this information will increase your chances on helping her achieve pleasure and arousal.

Before we start, those that are visual learners can google “vulva” to see what is begin described. Find a diagram that details the vulva parts and refer back to it as needed. Another great visual is at www.3Dvulva.com and click the 3D vulva/clitoris diagram. Learn where the parts of the genitalia are located. You might get a slap in the face from someone if you’re stimulating her anus but were thinking it was her clitoris. Then again, you might get a smile from someone else too.

Lets start from the top of the vulva and work our way down. The mons pubis is a triangular mound over the pubic bone directly above the clitoral hood and clitoris. It is located in the pubic hair region and extends downward to form the labia majora, or outer lips. It is an important area because within the fatty tissue of the mons pubis are numerous nerve endings. Often with sexual interaction, this area is neglected and forgotten as an area of pleasure and arousal. However, during male superior position (missionary), both the male and female pubic regions grind or press up against each other, increasing the pressure and stimulation of the female mons pubis. But we can (and will) learn to apply sensation and stimulation to this region on a more regular basis.

The clitoral hood is a fold of skin that covers and protects the clitoris. It blends downward from the lower portion of the mons pubis in the shape of an upside-down V and eventually forms the labia minora, or inner lips. A lot of guys will think this little flap is extra skin and serves no purpose. However, it is also filled with nerve endings to aid in arousal and pleasure. I wouldn’t bring it up if it were meaningless; so keep the clitoral hood on your mind and in your vocabulary for a future article on clitoral stimulation. Women know what purpose it serves for them and so should guys.

Which brings us to the hood’s closest neighbor, the clitoris. Most of you have heard of the clit, the magic button, or the love nub. In the last few decades we went from a society that had no idea what the clitoris was to a culture that focuses on it. Sexologists believe the clitoris was made for pleasure, as it has no other physiological function. The portion of the clitoris that is outside the body (head/glans and shaft of the clitoris) has approximately eight thousand nerve endings made purely for her satisfaction. 8K!! It packs a punch and it’s estimated the average external clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the external male penis (glans and shaft). Think about it, twice the nerve endings in such a small package can be an intense amount of arousal in one area. The external clitoris is about the size of a pencil eraser and it varies in size, shape, color, and sensitivity. However, the clitoris is much bigger than most of us think. Like an iceberg, the tip of the clitoris sticks out above the surface of the vulva and the remainder is not visible. There are legs or roots of the clitoris that extend beneath the surface of the vulva and extend downward. That means to properly stimulate the clitoris; one would have to do a lot more than touching the external tip that we’re so used to focusing on. Think of this metaphor. If you were going to water a plant to make it grow best, would you water the leaves or the roots that spread beneath the ground? The answer is the roots. The same idea applies to the clitoris and vulva stimulation. After we cover the external female body parts, we’ll talk about ways to stimulate her different parts, including the clitoris, and tips on how to “water the roots.”

I know you’re wanting to wow your Friday night date with Kama Sutra techniques like the wheelbarrow or the clasping position. Patience, the basics are essential and one must learn to walk before they can run. You’ll be a sprinter and long distance runner in no time.

Dr. Hernando Chaves

Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves

Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.

Field Report #1: Party of Five (Matador + Four Girls) February 2009

Field Report #1:Party of Five (Matador + Four Girls) February 2009

What happens when Matador and four girls get together, don’t you want to know…..Guess what I am going to tell you.

I arrive at Matador’s pad in the “Beast” a.k.a. my Range Rover and meet up with Kevin Feng, his girl B and walk in the door simultaneously with four lovely ladies all coincidentally with names that begin with the letter E. The night begins with a bevy of women plus Matador hopping in the Beast and driving out to Ecco where Erika has “greased the ropes” for us with one of her many promoter friends.Within minutes we have a table and bottle service on the way. The club is fairly empty as we arrive for once at a decent hour. Matador debriefs me on the game plan for the night. His plan involves him and three girls. My part of the plan involves me playing wingman for the “mother hen” of the group. As I surmise as to how all this will go down tonight I multitask by immediately engaging my target as the proper wingman should. I keep the girl, E1 we’ll call her, busy while Matador escalates on her friend E2. E3 and E4 go off to the dance floor and before I can blink while talking to E1 I see the club has filled up with beautiful women. A large, beautiful assortment has somehow congregated around our table area within the blink of an eye. A year ago I would have thought this to be too hot to handle but I shrug it off as this has become status quo when hanging with Mystery and Matador. I continue on my wingman journey while Matador continues on the mission of bringing 3 women to his bed that night.

Somehow Kevin and B have disappeared and the clock is already near 2. Time flies when you sarge-hard. Before I know it the girls are back in the car. After a quick stop at Wendy’s to feed we headed back at Matador’s place. Before I can sneeze, Matador and 3 of the girls have disappeared. I hear giggling in the bedroom. E1 is still in the living room with me. I keep her busy while I hear a bevy of sounds. I look up to see a shirtless Matador come out for a few seconds chuckle, point to his room where 3 naked women are laughing and watch him disappear back into the beyond. After a few hours I am tired and E1 starts to get antsy to leave. She clucks like a mother hen does and pulls her chick out of the roost after a few hours of my attending to her. The weary wingman must retire but Matador well he continues on the Matador way as anyone who knows him can testify and surely was up all night long doing gosh knows what. You can read the field reports in Revelation and learn the techniques to make this happen but the actual experience is far more exciting than you know till it actually happens.

Simeon
Venusian Arts

About Simeon

Simeon is a VA Coachoperating out of California. After winning the title of Master Pick-Up Artist on Season 2 of VH1?s The Pick-Up Artist, Simeon has chosen to further his training with Mystery and Matador as he continues the everlasting journey of improvements in the pickup arts. Now he has chosen to give value to others by teaching the arts that have so dramatically transformed his life so that others may share in the enjoyment that pickup creates through the rigorous but rewarding journey of pickup artist training provides.

Phone Game Part 3: If She Calls You

This is part three of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

If your game is tight, and you follow the guidelines I outlined in my previous articles on texting and calling the women you meet, you’ll find that a surprising number of them will call you faster than you may have previously thought (make sure you TRADE numbers when you close her).  As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

If she calls you, there are a number things to be mindful of such as your current circumstances, at what stage you are in the set, and what you think will work best with her.

First, make sure you don’t pick up on the first ring. The right time to answer is on the third ring. This can be hard to gauge if you have custom ringtones and such on your cell (and who doesn’t these days), so just wait a few seconds before you answer. I personally like to sing aloud with whatever ringtone I have assigned to the woman in question for a few lines because it ups my energy level when I answer the phone. It sounds silly, but no matter what else is happening, it always means that I answer the phone with energy.

When I answer the phone I typically just answer it with an enthusiastic and warm “Hello!”, or by calling her by her nickname: “Hello darlin’, how’s my Attack Kitten today?”. Depending on your identity, you may want to answer the phone with something different. If we already have inside jokes, I’ll sometimes answer the phone with a reference to that (so I would literally pick up the phone and say something like “I just swam here from FUCKING Pittsburg!”). My wing Wild Card, who has a very flamboyant and zany personality will always answer with “You’ve got GREG!” while a more professional person might answer with a professional “Brian Richards speaking”, as if they are expecting one of their million dollar clients to be calling them. This all depends on your avatar and personality. Just don’t make it sound corny or childish if that kind of humor isn’t part of your game.

Another thing that I think a lot of people don’t consider is how enthusiastic you sound when people call you. When your friends and girlfriends call you, its good social vibing to sound enthused that they called. Have you ever called up one of your buddies and had him sound almost annoyed that you called him? This is bad vibing. You’re calling up your friend to chat or invite him out, and not only isn’t he glad to hear from his so-called friend, but he actually sounds annoyed that you called! And he may not even realize that he’s being like this. He really could be happy to hear from you, but he’s just not showing it in his voice. There’s no energy, no inflection, no enthusiasm. You need those things when you answer the phone regardless of it’s your target, your wingman, or even your mom.

If your target calls you, it is an IOI. If you don’t accept that IOI and she gets a negative vibe from you, you will be reinforcing the idea that you don’t want her to call you. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I want my targets to call me. I want them to send me funny little texts and call me to shoot the shit and invite me to hang out. Hell, I want them to call me when I’m out with other girls so I can build some jealousy. It makes your job a hell of a lot easier when they call you, so make sure you are happy to hear from them when they do!

Note: that doesn’t mean act supplicative and needy when she calls you. Don’t be like “OMG I’m so glad you called, I was just thinking about you last night and it’s really good to hear from you…” Instead, sound like “Hey babe! How are you? … Awesome! I’m fabulous as usual! I’m heading over to meet my friend Kayla, we’re going shopping to find me a top hat! What have you been up to?”

Now, once you answer you have the option, depending on what you are personally doing at the moment and what you think she would respond most positively to, to get involved in a conversation or to simply say “I’m kind of in the middle of something at the moment. How about I call you back [in an hour/this afternoon/tomorrow/whatever]?”

For instance, if I’m with a bunch of friends and we’re all hanging out and having fun, I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to talk on the phone. I’m going to say “Hey, how’s it going? Awesome! Listen, I’m out with some friends at the moment. How about I call you when I get home?” Or if she just has something quick to say, I’ll tell her “Ok, but I can’t talk long my friends are waiting on me.” This can be a very powerful thing to do every now and then because it conveys non-neediness and shows that you are a social person.

Alternatively, you don’t even necessarily HAVE to answer at all. If you are genuinely busy with something/someone, or you really just don’t feel like talking, don’t pick up and call her back later.

If you miss her call or just decide not to pick up, be sure to wait a little bit before you call her back. Unless you are both in a rush for some reason, ten minutes should be the minimum, but you could realistically wait for hours or days depending on the situation. Once again, you have to calibrate based on the situation.

If, for whatever reason, she doesn’t get you on the phone, you should make sure she has the option of leaving you a voicemail. This way you can check it whenever is most convenient for you and decide when you should call her back. You voicemail can also be very useful way to convey a little more of your personality. We’ll cover that in a couple weeks!

Next week: how to handle the time between your first call and you day-2!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Lovedrop’s Violation Theory

Craig once said that “It’s Always On.” My thoughts on this (why it is true) are,

While gaming, whenever escalation is possible, continue escalating AS A RULE. Ignore her non-committal behavior; she WILL act non-committal in order to handle her own ASD. She has to do this (explained below.) Just continue to plow in a non-needy way.

Women will act non-committal due to the sexual non-responsibility rule (a.k.a ASD), but subject to appropriate gaming they will continue to display passive IOIs such as allowing the gaming to continue, and allowing escalation (but acting like it’s weird in order to avoid responsibility/ASD.)

Have you ever been gaming a girl, and she has a weird smile on her face, with her eyebrows up, like she thinks you’re being weird? But at the same time, she continues to show passive IOIs. And also she doesn’t contribute that much, forcing you to carry most of the interaction. But she goes along with it. Players can miscalibrate this because of her weird look and her non-investment, they decide that she is being “a bitch” and they say “whatever fuck it then, I don’t care” when they actually could have kept plowing and got the girl.

This is interesting because ASD theory thus predicts the necessity of plowing. Plowing is also the accepted solution to token resistance, which is itself merely a more energetic form of this same passive IOI mechanism. Thus Token Resistance can be interpreted as an IOI. If she feels it necessary to begin avoiding responsibility for something that she feels inside, and she telegraphs this feeling via token resistance behavior, can’t we then take it as an indicator?

Some new terms:

Predictive Resistance: This is similar to token resistance, except she volunteers it without prompting. (Usually token resistance is thought of as a RESPONSE to some compliance test from the player.) Example: “I hope you know we’re not having sex tonight.” Why would she say this unless she is feeling ASD? And if I am not currently escalating, how does she feel ASD? Because she is getting excited and thus feels the need to avoid responsibility for it. This is how ASD gets activated. This is also WHY we have traditionally known that predictive resistance is actually an IOI from the girl. Girls don’t say that sort of thing to beggars on the street. They say it to hot guys when they are sitting on their couch together.

This is also why false disqualifiers work…because they eliminate her need to avoid responsibility and thus DEACTIVATE ASD.

Plowing is necessary yet so is flipping the script. You must do both.

Indicators: There are IOIs and IODs. Are there also IOQs? I.e. indicator of qualification. If there are reliable indicators for various other aspects of the game, such as the above-described “passive ioi / asd” indicator then perhaps we can improve intuitive accuracy. There must be entire classes of indicators and common confusions that occur.

====================

Eventually she opened up when I was just being myself and having fun,
***being persistent and smiling was key.

Formula: Due to previously discussed “act like you’re weird but give passive IOIs” mechanism, smile (relaxed, no big deal, being myself, unreactive) while plowing (90% rule) and using positive misinterpretation. Actually just viewing everything through the most positive frame possible.

This still gives room for routines (such as an opening stack) and calibration (such as negs and kino plowing.)

Everything else still applies…use DHVs, use false disqualifiers, kino escalate, get investment and qualify her, etc.
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TRY sarging from the frame of mingling, or spidering, where you’re not necessarily trying to pickup but only trying to meet high-value people and add them to your social circle.

ALSO try doing this but ALSO doing pickup as well. Doing jealousy, etc.

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Violation theory / ethics

Often we can violate social norms in the field, for the sake of practice or experimentation, and this is part of the learning process. In fact this is important for learning more about how social interaction really works, and we must feel dispassionate. But in the long term, we still must be aware of social norms and how they affect our game - we have to “surf the wave” and think intelligently about how to exploit these mechanisms, and not hide behind an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. This becomes ESPECIALLY RELEVANT when you begin to focus more on social circle game and less on cold approach game. You only live once!

When someone comes in your set, and is nice to you, without making social errors, then you are a violator if you are rude or cruel to him. If his frame is really weak, then he will still lose. But if he has a strong frame and is unreactive, then he will win, since YOU are the one who is in violation. You are the one who was being mean.

Conversely, if you go into someone else’s set, and you are nice, without making social errors, then the set is under a certain social obligation to show basic politeness. They can’t just ignore you. At this point you can just plow.

Why is this important? Because this ethical rule seems to be in operation socially, whether people see it or not. And because there is power to be derived: There is no longer any social obligation to be polite once someone has become a violator. If you enter a guy’s set politely, and the guy is rudely amoging you without provocation, he is a violator and you can now just ignore him like he’s not there. The more he reacts after that, the more his value drops while yours goes up. You couldn’t have previously ignored him if he hadn’t been rude - since that would have turned YOU into a violator.

There has been an important question related to AMOG tactics for a while now. The question is, if I am AMOGing the guy, aren’t I becoming more and more reactive to him, thus giving him power? AMOG lines are cool, but “less is more”…etc. Calibration is important:
— You can just AMOG him. You MUST calibrate that he will knuckle under your frame before you attempt this.
— If you miscalibrate and he retains a strong frame and positive attitude, then he wins. You are now in violation and he can ignore you.
— Instead of attacking him, you can BAIT him to try to AMOG you. (People have previously used these terms interchangeably, but I am now suggesting that there is a difference.) If he does, he is now a violator and you can ignore him. Most people will fall for this, this is why classical AMOG theory works. This is the mechanism being exploited. If he doesn’t take the bait, you are still in the game since you only baited and you never actually violated. But you lost a little “social energy”. The more obvious it becomes that you are baiting him, the more you are REACTING to him. The less he takes the bait, the more YOU are becoming REACTIVE to HIM.
A piece of violation theory (or “ethical theory”) thus becomes the ability to bait people into making social errors. People will often hang themselves without your help. Other people need some rope. If you can bait people into violating (or DLVing which I think is slightly different. A DLV is a social error but a social error is not a DLV.) If you can bait people into violating, then the rules now apply: I can ignore the person without become a violator myself. My value will continue to rise and his will continue to drop. This will also generate attraction in nearby females. Useful?
I think that girls are really good at this. Stupid girls just violate (they can get away with some degree of this but they lose power as a result). But girls with social skills will bait other people to violate. Or even worse: set a double-bind frame and so NO MATTER what you do, you just hung yourself.

This is interesting as well: if she sets a double-bind frame where I will lose, and I don’t come up with a good comeback (reframe), then I will also lose. The fact that I was silent subcommunicates that I couldn’t think of a good response, making me the loser in the battle of the wits. It is also implicitly interpreted by her that her frame must have been correct, that I AM a violator, and that I had nothing to say in my own defense. She can now ignore me AND continue dropping my value if I stick around (due to violation theory.)

POSITIVE MISINTERPRETATION
This shows why frame control is so important, why I must always have a good answer to a shit test. She is baiting me to disqualify myself. And not only must I have a good answer, but I must be totally friendly and nice and unreactive. Even if she is non-responsive, or acts like I’m weird, or challenges me, I mustn’t be rude, unfriendly, or angry/reactive, because that is exactly what she is baiting me to do. For the sole purpose of making me a VIOLATOR so that she can blow me out without becoming a violator herself. Notice that when your value is low, girls will get really impatient and try to pick fights so that they have moral justification to blow you out. Girls will also do this when they want to end a relationship. Again, this all stems from the “no responsibility” rule.

How to get to her WITHOUT VIOLATING.
— Be friendly and nice, without “crossing that line” of being mean to someone, while simultaneously plowing and interpreting everything in a positive way. Do NOT get reactive or you lose. Just act like nothing is a big deal, keep plowing and being yourself, and don’t violate social norms.
— Neg. Perhaps this is why Negs have been so hard to understand. I can define a neg as something that conveys disinterest, while simultaneously NOT crossing a violation line. If I say, “I hate you, you fucking bitch” then I have conveyed disinterest. But I have also disqualified myself by violating. Now I’m creepy and people can ignore me without feeling guilty. She’s looking to screen me out anyway, early on especially, so I basically just made it easy for her. (Some guys walk away from this sort of thing saying, “Whatever, I don’t care. I really don’t give a fuck.” It’s good to not give a fuck. But that attitude should be combined with the social intelligence not to make social errors and get yourself disqualified. We are playing to win, so don’t deliberately hang yourself. People WILL give you the rope - watch out for it. They are baiting you.)
Negs allow me to do very useful things (frame control, false disqualifiers, emotional stimulation, comfort building, value subcommunication) while simultaneously NOT crossing the violation boundary and getting disqualified. I’m still friendly and unreactive. I’m not a violator. And as long as I keep plowing, she can’t blow me out.

This may be what people are talking about when they say that people can’t blow them out of set anymore.

Ways that SHE will try to BAIT YOU to violate
— Her friend runs over and they scream and hug. Now they have created a new shared frame together. If I bust in, in a reactive way, I am now a violator. If I stand there like a dork, I feel stupid and start to panic. The social pressure is building on me…I can’t leave and I can’t stay. Eventually I slink away. Notice that Mystery’s solution FOLLOWS SOCIAL NORMS: First you cut your thread (appropriate) then you ask the target to introduce the obstacle (appropriate)
— Her friend is rude to you. You are rude to her friend. Now the target can treat you like a violator and it’s “not her fault.” Don’t take the bait.
— “Well thanks for coming over to say hi, it was really nice to meet you.”
— “Um, we haven’t seen each other in a long time; we’re having a really important conversation right now.”
— These are interesting because now if I stay, I am a violator EVEN IF I CONTINUE TO BE NICE. They have set the frame that merely being there makes me a violator. In my experience, the best solution here is a massive value demonstrator combined with a false disqualifier: “Oh we’re actually on our way over to Skybar, I just wanted to stop and say hi first…” (stack forward.) ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS?
— Another suggestion for this, of course, is to come in with massive value and a false time constraint in the FIRST PLACE, so they don’t bait me in this way. For example, you get a lot less of this bullshit if you have first been building your value in the room, for example by parading a hot girl around. Ever notice that the other sets open easier once you have been parading a hot girl around?
Interesting: When Mystery handles an interrupt, he reminds the target that it’s “the polite thing to do” to introduce him to the obstacle. Now she has to do it, she would be a VIOLATOR if she didn’t. So she does. Interesting that she can PRETEND she didn’t think of it and absolve herself of responsibility. If she leaves you standing there and you eventually leave, it’s still “not her fault.” But once you make it explicit that she’s being rude, now she HAS to follow social norms, so she does. There are thus cases where you can use your knowledge of social norms to force people to comply with them where they might normally pretend they didn’t notice. This is why social norms are so interesting - because people DO follow them, whether they have full knowledge of them or not. But having that knowledge gives you an edge.
— Also interesting: If I explicitly voice a secret society rule or understanding, I HAVE committed a violation. BUT I can act as if I didn’t notice it and still get away with it. Other people nearby can ignore it and it will go away. But if someone says “but of course” he is pointing that that I am a violator, that I have made explicit something that people prefer to assume. This is because people like to act Secret Society, without being made RESPONSIBLE for it, by pretending they don’t know. When I point it out explicitly, they can no longer pretend, and thus they are forced to deny their own behavior and to pay lip service to social programming. I have become a PARTY POOPER - a VIOLATOR. I have already fucked up. But by saying “but of course” the person has now made my fuckup clear and my lack of social intelligence is now evident. DON’T TALK ABOUT THE SECRET SOCIETY. Remember one of the rules of the Secret Society is that you don’t talk about it. Talking about it implies that you aren’t familiar with the rule, and thus you must NOT BE A MEMBER.
— Thus the strategy should always be to ASSUME the secret society is true, and escalate accordingly, while simultaneously pretending that it’s not true and also paying lip service to the typical social programming.

— The phrase “it’d be rude not to.” This phrase absolves yourself of responsibility by implying that you would be a violator if you did anything else. Remember, people can’t blame you if there is a higher authority. This phrase uses social norms as a higher authority.
— Interesting that the phrase can ALSO be used in cases where it’s NOT LOGICALLY TRUE, but will still have the same effect regardless. The more obvious it becomes that the phrase is actually not appropriate, the more funny it becomes when you use the phrase. What is the tie-in here with humor?

Are there ways to get rid of someone WITHOUT using violation theory?
— can’t think of one

This could be really important.

Some general principles:
— Don’t ever violate a social norm since it causes you to lose power. (Unless you are doing some specific practice or experimentation.) Always keep the “high ground” morally. Always be unreactive, friendly - and plow.
— If someone BAITS you, continue to be unreactive, friendly, and plow.
— If someone VIOLATES you, you can now AMOG and IGNORE him without becoming a violator. Ignore is preferable since it is less reactive. A single good AMOG line can be useful as well depending on context.
— You can also BAIT someone into violating. If he takes the bait, he is now a violator and the above now applies.
— If he doesn’t take the bait, then calibrate: Can you bait him again? If you keep it up, he will gain an edge because you are reacting slightly more. The most you can do beyond this is just be unreactive, friendly, plow, and ignore him as much as possible without going into violation.
— If you can calibrate that the person has a weak frame, you can just violate him and retain the stronger frame. But beware: now all of his friends, some of whom may be socially more intelligent than him, can ignore you and get away with it.

Back to this paragraph:
Have you ever been gaming a girl, and she has a weird smile on her face, with her eyebrows up a bit, like she thinks you’re being weird? But at the same time, she continues to show passive IOIs. And also she doesn’t contribute that much, forcing you to carry most of the interaction. But she goes along with it. Players can miscalibrate this because of her weird look and her non-investment, they decide that she is being “a bitch” and they say “whatever fuck it then, I don’t care” when they actually could have kept plowing.

What’s really going on is that she uses her facial expression to set a frame that you are weird. This absolves her of responsibility of what is happening (so she can allow it to continue.) Unfortunately, this also baits the PLAYER to become a violator. “I’m not BEING weird, but she’s ACTING like I’m weird. What a BITCH!” If you aren’t socially intelligent, you will take the “bait” that she was “rude” to you, and thus you will be rude back to her. Once you do this:
— IN YOUR MIND: She was rude for no reason, therefore I was rude back. Whatever. Fuck her. I don’t care. Women are bitches.
— IN HER MIND: I didn’t do anything wrong. He was being weird to me and then he was being rude to me so I filtered him out. Just another loser.

A guy with a stronger frame will remain unreactive to her bait and friendly, and will never go into violation and won’t get screened out. He can’t get blown out. Now all he has to do is continue stimulating her emotions and DHVing. The best part is that the unreactive, friendly part is a DHV in-and-of-itself.

So she is selecting for strength. Is she trying to blow me out or trying to get with me? BOTH. One or the other will work, either outcome is fine with her. It’s not her fault either way. I COULD interpret that she is blowing me out, and I’d be RIGHT. I could get all reactive about this. Or I COULD interpret that it is ON and that she is testing for strength. And I would be RIGHT in this case as well. It is my own value and my own subcommunications that determine which way she will interpret it. NOT — HER — FAULT.

Other concepts:
Different violations, and different baits, have differing levels of plausible deniability.
Some violations only exist if they are pointed out (”Introduce me to your friend, it’s the polite thing to do.”)
Some baits are more or less reactive. If it isn’t obvious that I’m baiting (”thanks for stopping by!”) then I retain plausible deniability while simultaneously forcing the person to become a violator if they stay. I don’t come off as reactive. If it IS obvious that I’m baiting (”oh that’s a really nice coat you got there. You from the CIRCUS?”) then I’m also perceived as more reactive. If I continue baiting in this way I will become the more reactive one and eventually lose. This is why, when AMOGing, “less is more.” I gave myself less plausible deniability.
— Always maximize my own plausible deniability, and that of my target, while minimizing that of rival players and AMOGs.

“Can I have a light?” is a great opener (I got the idea from Christophe). It ties in here because it’s a socially reasonable request, and makes the person look like a jerk if they don’t give you compliance. This is why it’s better to use small hoops early on…because the smaller the hoop, the more of a violator the person appears to be if they defy.

Classic FR- Friday Night with Mystery, Fall 1998

Ok, I went to an area of town known for bars and cafes and restaurants - I went by myself and had never gone there before. I got into some cool adventure but after several no-gos I ended up at a regular club right downtown. I got NOTHING. I went from club to club and while I had fun (I must have talked with 10 girls in the whole night) NOTHING panned out into COOL GROOVES.

So I ended up walking into a place and bumped into a girl from a year ago who was so happy to see me. I remember her and I not cutting the bacon ’cause while she is VERY PRETTY (I met her at a fashion show where she was modeling originally) she wasn’t very SEXUAL. Thing is, she her male friend and I (the male friend was JUST a friend) went to another club together. She was hanging off my arm and she kept touching my chest and stomach and was so flirty and she bit my cheek and nuzzled me and everything. I played VERY hard to get and she told me she had lost her book with my # in it and wanted my # again. I RELUCTANTLY gave it to her and she says she’ll call this week. Thing is, while pretty, I don’t know if she’ll copulate with me. That’s all I really want to do with her - if she would fuck me, Id hang with her - but if not, I wouldn’t want to just be friends and always have to ABSTAIN from my desires. That would get to me. I’ll tell ya what happens. I went to another club and nothing there and then for pizza and met a girl outside who I chatted with a bit and then a girl inside the pizza place. Point is, I didn’t get anywhere with them but I approached, met and chatted and left looking very cool. I was wearing a suit and the girls were CLUB girls so I looked a bit out of their range.

I would like to find my TYPE of woman. Where would I go? My TYPE is an intelligent model. A REAL model, not a wannabe. I’m a performing artist and want a model. It’s that simple. I don’t know where they ARE though. All the gorgeous girls today were soooo young. I like young, but they were sooo youth culture. I want class. Where are they? I looked and looked. Oh shit, remember the voluptuous girl I snacked on about 2 weeks ago? She was in one of the cafes I checked out. We talked for a brief time and then I took off playing “I don’t care, I’ve got better people to do”. I wonder if she’ll call me or email me or something. Who knows? She was a cutie but if she aint interested I can only move on, right?

Sorry for not being more into NG lately. I’ve had some stress from shows I had to perform the last week.

Oh, my HB friend (she is a 10!) on my birthday told me she loved me. I mean LOVE. She was crying and everything and we had a fight because her 3 friends (all 6.5 and UNDER) liked me and I was being flirty with them because it felt good and she got all pissed over that. It’s not like Id actually DO any of em, fuck! I mean ugs. Thing is we all went to her friends place and 2 of the girls took their tops off and got on the bed with me (I was just lying there watching) and the girls started to French kiss each other on my asking them to (I LOVE lesbianism). Then the 3rd girl came in and I told all three to kiss and they did. Then one of them started rubbing my cock through my pants (they were not beauties but 3 girls frenching each other 6 inches from my face will get me going I learned) and I asked her to stop and told them it was all good and that I just wanted to watch. Thing is, my HB friend was weirded out and called a taxi. She wrecked the whole scene. I left with her and we argued in the car. She was so in love with me (and to think I thought she and I had an UNDERSTANDING) and when I told her I want going to get INVOLVED with the ugs and just wanted to enjoy watching the lesbianism part (she likes lesbianism too it turns out) she said, “Why didn’t you tell me that?” I said, “Fuck, how am I supposed to know you needed me to TALK to you.” thing is we fought and haven’t spoken since. I’ve been busy anyway. See, I don’t fight. I never ever raise my voice. But she did to ME. That’s not acceptable behavior so I left.

Well anyway, it’s now 4:40am. I had a rather lonely evening. I met many girls but nothing really worth mentioning. Not great looking, or my type, or old enough, or mature enough, or into me enough.  It was a fun game though tonight. at least I tried.

Phone Game Part 2: While On The Phone

This is part two of my series on phone game.  Click here to view my previous articles.

The hardest part of phone game is getting her on the phone (see my previous article on that).  Once you’ve gotten past that hurdle, things can move pretty smoothly if you’re smart and adaptable.  As with my previous article, everything mentioned below is a guideline only.  These rules are not set in stone!  You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.

The most important factor here is your voice.  You should sound confident and self-assured in your tone.  You should speak slowly, deeply, and with pausing, just as you would in the field.  Sounding as cool as you did in the field when you met her while your on the phone is a commonly ignored concept in this field, but it is absolutely vital.  Too many aspiring pick-up artists can run fantastic game in the field, but snap right back to their old selves on the phone and become needy, supplicative, and sometimes downright creepy.  She can never sense any inconsistencies in your personality on the phone.  This is key.

Once you’ve got her on the phone, you have to think of a phone call as sort of a mini pick-up. You start with a quick DHV, qualify her briefly, and then build comfort. I like to immediately tell her about something funny/crazy/interesting that happened later on in the night after my friends and I left the club that we met at but you could use any routine you want as long as it seems relevant to the phone call somehow (i.e. starting the routine with “So I just go this text from my friend and…”). When it’s time to qualify, try to qualify her based on something that has come up in the conversation that the routine has started if you can. Just saying “So….can you cook?” out of nowhere sounds kind of weird.

Here’s a generic example:

“So get this: as we were leaving the club on Friday, my friend Adam was getting literally DRAGGED away by this…not so attractive girl, but Adam is a REALLY nice guy and just couldn’t figure out how to get away from her without hurting her feelings.  So Jamie (you met her, she was the blond in the corset) just trots right over and starts to pull Adam back to us, saying he’s gotta come home with us tonight.  Well the other girl just LOOSES IT and starts freaking out on Jamie.  She gets all in her face and starts trying to shove her and get physical.   Now normally I’d be all like “Yeah catfight!”  But that’s only when it’s people I don’t know, and Jamie doesn’t take shit from ANYBODY so we all rushed in and literally drag Jamie out of there before things got really out of hand. That’s why I love my friends though: everyone’s always watching out for each other, no matter what. From what I gathered though your friends are like that too, am I right?”

From there, you build comfort as normal. You let the conversation flow normally as you both get to know each other better. Just have a conversation. This is something so many PUAs just cant seem to get into their heads and I cannot stress this enough. Whether its ten minutes or two hours, your target should hang up the phone want to immediately call her friends and tell her about this phone conversation she had with this amazing guy who she really connected with. Talk to her, get to know her and above all, appreciate her.

I like to use the phone as an opportunity to talk about what’s going on in my life at the moment. It’s almost as if I’m catching up with an old friend and by creating that vibe, it creates the unconscious illusion of familiarity. See more about the art of conversation in my article about How To talk to girls

You don’t even have to set up the Day-2 on the first call. In fact, unless she brings it up, you probably should wait until at least the second phone call. If you want, you can seed a potential hang-out during your conversation (I would, for instance, mention something about my friends and I all getting together for our weekly wing-night, or maybe that we’re all going to a certain event on such an such a day) and then just not invite her to it until your next call. By not immediately going for the date the first time you talk to her, you convey non-neediness, and may even just leave her thinking “Why DIDN’T he ask me out after we had that great conversation?” Anticipation is a very powerful thing. Use it to your advantage whenever you can.

After your first call, wait two days or so and follow the same pattern above. If she seems really eager to hear from you again, you can call her the very next day if you want, and if the phone call didn’t go as perfectly as you had planned, maybe wait and call her on the third day.  Again, it’s all about calibration here.  You have to gauge how much value/compliance/comfort you have when deciding on what move to make next.

Next week: how to handle a call from her the proper way!

About Prophet

Prophet is a VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.

Girls

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Jealousy: Learning to Control It

Jealousy, what is it exactly?

A lot of people make it seem like such a negative feeling. From this impression, most of the time people feel that they have to resort to violence or anger. But this does not necessarily have to be the case.

“Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side” - Yoda.

Jealousy is something triggered off in our minds to send us a message. It’s trying to tell us that we are attracted and in some way emotionally invested with a member of the opposite sex. A woman, for instance, first knows she’s attracted when she becomes jealous. This hard-wired emotion is built to protect what we want for ourselves and to help motivate us to go get the very thing in which we are jealous for. Some say this is a problem, but where there is a problem, there is always an opportunity for growth.

Despite the temptation to do so in the field, don’t let this emotion take you over. Instead we use it to your advantage: mostly with the hotties in the bar that you want to have attracted to you, but for anything really. And that’s where the jealousy plotline comes in, why it works, and how it can become very useful to you. Now I’m not about to get into all the different ways you can do this i.e. using a pivot, displaying major DHV that a female can relate to etc - that’s all covered in Revelations (you HAVE bought that by now, haven’t you?) This article is mainly here to inform you on how to identify jealousy within yourself, within others and how to deal with it from there.

Now we all know what jealousy is. However, most people seem to believe we always act on the facts presented to us. WRONG! If that were the case then you’d be able to go to the bar tonight and never have to worry about loosing your cool to a feeling of jealousy. But this is not the case. Chances are that you act on it as an emotion and thrash out just like a jealous person would next time it comes around. As a PUA you should know that you should always be aware of your emotions. So the next time something happens to you while you’re out in the field, on a day two, or even in a relationship you need to identify the fact that you are feeling jealous and decide to deal with things rationally.

Now what? Well, what’s the situation? Jealousy is usually triggered in the field by a member of the same sex imposing on your set. You need to calm down and deal with it RIGHT NOW. Don’t over react in these situations like a typical jealous person would. Jealousy will only get you the opposite of what you want. So what does that mean? It means stop being a little bitch and take control of the situation. Acting distant or moody or getting snappy with people isn’t going to help you. Starting an argument or making your target feel bad for talking to another guy is certainly not going to help you. You are only feeling jealous because you don’t feel in control, or you are feeling insecure about what is happening and don’t know what to do. As such you will act in a very reactive manner and the results of this are usually poor. Re-evaluate the situation and take control; is it another dude hitting up your girl? Act intelligently and unreactively and everything you’ve learned about dealing with these guys will give you a clear idea of how to deal with him. AMOG the guy and lower his value, go off and open a nearby set, spike the target’s buying temperature and make the OTHER GUY jealous. There is no need to feel jealousy yourself, but there is plenty of need to make other people feel it.

After analyzing the effects jealousy can have on us and how much it can change a social scene, don’t you think it can have the same effect on others? Of course it can, except the only difference is that the people you’re going to be pushing it on don’t know how to deal with it. They will act in the way every other jealous person out there does and if you can do it properly it will almost always work out in your favor. Make a man jealous and he is going to react in ways that’s only going to make you a heck of a lot cooler. Make a girl jealous and you’re only going to make her more attracted to you.

So always keep your cool, analyze any situation you’re in and NEVER let your emotions take a hold of you. You’re a pick up artist, you’re one cool guy. Take hold of any social scene you’re in and play your game to its best. And remember to always keep your smile on you at all times.

- Wild Card

About Wild Card

Wild Card is a seduction writer operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work for Venusian Arts, Wild Card is a card dealer and drummer in a classic rock/new rock band. In his spare time, he takes every opportunity he can to have crazy adventures with his wingmen, Showcase and Prophet.

Hawaii on Opening

I have opened more sets than I can count but my best estimate is around 10,000 cold approach sets. When I first moved to Vegas over 4 years ago, I went out 7 days a week for at least 4 hours a day and just opened constantly. There are endless sets in Vegas so someone could easily open over a 100 sets a day in only a few short hours. The sets are not just in the clubs here, but literally everywhere on the Strip.

When I first started in the game I used the David Bowie opener, and the 80s song opener. I used these openers so many times that girls called me out on it weeks later. One time Mystery and I were walking through Treasure Island several years ago and a girl walked by me, pointed at me and said, ?Hey, it?s the David Bowie guy!? I had no idea who she was but she certainly recognized me from the opener that I had run on several hundred sets.

I stopped using opinion type openers after a while because I realized that they were too long and the set would take too long to give their opinion. I was in fact ?milking? the opener. You should never milk your opener. Most new guys spend too much time on the opener and sometimes don?t even get into A2; they get blown out on the opener because it is too long, boring, etc. I never get blown out anymore on the opener because the openers I use are so short and I transition directly into A2 right after the opener without hesitating. The only purpose of the opener is to open the set so you can transition into A2. I soon found that the best openers are the shortest.

The most important thing when opening is your body language, tonality and facial expressions. It is best to open over the shoulder when possible. You should smile before you open and say anything, then once you start talking, don?t smile too much because it is too try hard. You should use a warm, friendly tone while body rocking in and out to which is a nonverbal false time constraint. This gives the appearance that you are leaving and not staying long. This nonverbal false time constraint can be coupled with a verbal false time constraint such as ?I can only stay for a second, I have my friends here.?

When opening, it is much more important how you say something that what you actually say. So many guys get caught up in and stuck on the opener. If you are looking for the perfect opener there isn?t one. Sometimes now I will just say in Mystery?s tonality ?Hello, Hello? as my opener. That?s it, and then I will transition directly into A2. I will talk a lot more about opening in future articles. If you have any specific questions on opening or inquires about training email me at Hawaii@venusianarts.com or call me at 702-286-7785

Hawaii

About Hawaii

Hawaii is a VA Coach operating out of Las Vegas. He has instructed at nearly fifty (50) live bootcamps and seminars and trained hundreds of students over 3 years working for Mystery. He traveled with Mystery and Matador for more than a year and taught at over 25 bootcamps as an approach coach during his training period before becoming a lead instructor at over a dozen bootcamps. Not the typical player, Hawaii is a short, skinny, 30-something, average looking Asian guy, former accountant, who transformed himself into someone who is successful with women after years of practice working thousands of sets. Hawaii is Mystery's former Personal Assistant and has been working with him for 3 years since August 2005. In addition, Hawaii trained all of the students on season 2 of VH-1's The Pickup Artist as an off-camera Instructor for the entire duration of filming.