Question and Answer with Mystery: Part 1
June 25, 2009 by Mystery
Filed under Featured Articles, Mailbag Q&A
AFC: I am not a woman-hater. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to manipulate anyone into doing something she’ll later regret.
Mystery: Nor am I. Others MAY be certainly, that’s not MY concern. You don’t have to be nor do I. We don’t give a shit about the philosophical underpinnings of the WHY. The HOW is all we care about. Cherry pick what is best for you. Remember though, that many of things we talk about are written because they WORK. RESULTS.
AFC: However, I don’t think that sex with me is something that anyone should regret. I’m a decent man. I treat people with respect. I’m honest. I’m reasonably handsome. I have no diseases. I make a good living. I keep a clean home. I’m an attentive lover. I even have a large penis and good stamina (despite a relative lack of experience).
Mystery: You have realistically defined me. The concept of the ASSHOLE getting more girls than the NICE GUY is partly true though. It has to do with self-respect. Women will test you by shitting on you a bit when you meet her and you must not allow her to shit on you. You will WIN by ‘acting’ like an asshole and therefore not allowing them to shit on you. NICE GUYS finish last because they ALLOW the woman to shit on them.
AFC: Considering all the ugly, disease-spreading, parasitic jerks out there who somehow seem to be able to get beautiful women into bed despite treating them badly, I’m sure there are a lot of beautiful women out there who would be much happier sleeping with me instead.
Mystery: The Art of Attraction is an art of the mind. This is not a game of yatzee. It’s a game of chess. The ugly jerks you refer to may get a girl or two (usually ugly girls) but the smart guys understand that behaving like a ladies man gets more girls. By systematic investigation we discover what works and what doesn’t, share the info so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel and get results. This has nothing to do with being a dirty jerk. This is an elitist group. You need a brain. You need to be sober. You need to take care of your body. You need to learn how to be attentive. This is no easy game of tic tac toe. I am a perfect gentleman. Consider Gone with the Wind (Rhett Butler). He was a cool guy, but when the Scarlet acted up, he didn’t take her shit. Self-respect – is that being an asshole? Hmmm.
AFC: My problem is a lack of social skills, if not life skills altogether. (I think a big part of it is that I’m so afraid of doing anything that will offend or upset somebody that I end up not doing or saying anything at all.) I have a very hard time making friends or lovers.
Mystery: You seem to be suffering from NICE GUY SYNDROME. We call them LAMOs. Nothing personal. Here you are such a smart guy, all clean cut and purdy and yet you can’t consistently get women to find you attractive. See? This has nothing to do with natural looks. It’s all about behavior. How you behave weekly to allow the statistics to work for you and how to behave in front of a state changing beauty. NICE GUYS go home alone when the SMART GUY gets the girls. NICE GUYS call the SMART GUYS … ASSHOLES. Funny, isn’t it?!!!
AFC: Despite what I have said above (and I don’t think that this is a contradiction, although I can understand that some people will perceive it that way), I am not looking for a deep, monogamous relationship. I just want to make some friends, have some fun, and have some sex, preferably with a variety of beautiful women. (Preferably simultaneously, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.)
Mystery: That is an honest WHY. Happens to be MINE too. A little bit of QUALITY with QUANTITY. Not overly unrealistic. I suggest you begin by accepting the NEWBIE MISSION.
**SHOWCASE EDIT: For those not familiar with the newbie mission, it is to go out for 4 hours a night, 4 nights a week for a 6 week period, opening 3 sets an hour which will leave you 20 minutes for each set. Bouncing to a new venue at midnight will keep ensure fresh venues with continuous sets.
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wouldnt you think its interesting that most american culture promotes women as being female gods excuse me for lack of more sufficient vocabulary. I hope everyone keeps it up! achieve your goals
Mystery, I think framing this q&a in the completely wrong context. Framing pickup as helping guys become smart…assholes, scares people away. Framing this around the de-objectification of women and a detachment from results that get most guys so anxious would be a smoother course of action.
Unfortunately PUA ends up objectifying women regardless. You begin to measure yourself, your skills, your routines, against their response. If you take PUA far enough women are no longer just women, they’re a way of evaluating how good your game is. Sad, but true.
Coming from a self-improvement perspective, Mystery’s courses offer troves of advice helping improve social interaction (anywhere) and attraction. What you said is interesting though. I have not delved as deep into ‘the community’ as others here, because the game that has been created simply seems like that, a game. Just as winning in business doesnt translate to happiness, getting to MPUA status or whatever isnt what this should be about. The marketing exec in me says if this was marketed towards a self-improvement audience, keywords new social psychology, women and men, a much larger audience would be helped, not just the most frustrated 5% of guys.
I think it is important to know how to be an asshole too. Knowing it – doesn’t mean being it.
It doesn’t mean that you have to be an asshole all the time, but it does mean that if a certain situation will happen and you will have to eat or be eaten it is better to eat. For example – as a Russian living in a different country, I traveled to Russia in 2007… without a skill of being rude and mean(I am a nice person 99% of the time) I would eat so much shit there…. but thanks to my KNOWLAGE of the Russian mentality and personality I was approached with respect by all the people I met… and my weaker companions were hustled.
So I do believe there is a need to learn the “right way” before you enters the field of your Interest. In this case it is an exploration of social norms and behavior of female creature.
After all don’t forget that humans are just “animals with moral standards”. If you keep the standard you stay human, but you still an animal.
SoF
In my opinion the transforming of nice guys into smart guys needs to be sold on understanding of you can keep that side of yourself at your core even if you dont display it in field when your initially – thus allowing the girl to recognise the ‘great guy’ that i am once she has got to know me. Thus being a very smart guy.
The only problem here for me is how to appear concruent with this. I come from a village in small community in the uk. being known as a womaniser or PUA might even get me laid but I still feel the need to retain the respect for my family and community which I too as a nice guy care about as much as I do as getting the life i want and deserve
Its a problem of not wanting to change my way of being. As a ‘nice guy’ I dont want to lose that part of me even if it means not getting the girl. does being that smart guy mean giving that up?
The whole nice guy / smart guy thing has to be looked at in helping to allowing people to retain those characteristics at thier core?
People I believe dont want to change all of who they are just better themselves. Im a social worker and really have started to look at body language and communication with people – i think it makes me better at my job too. I honest enought to admit Mystery that i am scared of the change you talk about. have you looked into or wrote anything about this fear?
However i recognise that for this to really effective I need to be congruent in mind and behaviour and this is the problem? part of me needs to know and believe that it is possible to keep those nice guy behaviours with people – even if i do not show it when first meeting and seeing people.
just so that they can get to know the great guy that i really am once they get to know me in person.
I come from a small village in the uk and for the respect and love of the community I live in. for the respect of my friends and family i dont beleive that I want to get a reputation as a player or smart guy? sure it may get me laid more but i wouldnt want to hurt them for my own personal goals and dreams of having and building the life i want. The actions and reputation I have outside my job could cost me my licence to practice in the uk – a smart guy reputation may have other externalities that could be costly for someone like me?
Lev
Hey guys i just wanted opinions on my dhv story, im an actor and just before i go into a dhv story i would do the 5 questions test the one where they have to get them all wrong but on the 4th question i say “so how many was that again?” if they catch me out on that then ill be like ohh hahaha u got me uve played this game before havent u?” thell be like no and ill be like haha got u on the 5th one, then i say “you really are gullerble arnt u, u remind me of my ex girlfriend she was gullerable and bait of a nut aswell, it reminds me of last week when (this is where i start my dhv story) basically im an actor, and i got a phone call from my uncle last week saying a producer would like to speak to me about a script, my uncle kind of works as my agent also, and anyway i say yea thats fine so i go to london and meet my uncle and this producer at leicester square, so we are discussing this script over lunch and im like yea i like it i would like to take u up on ur offer. so thats kool and we are eating lunch when he gets a phone call, when he gets of the phone he says to me “that was the women who i want to play female lead along side u in this film and she wants me to meet her now at picadilly circus would u like to come?” so i say yea ok why not, so anyway in the car on the way there i say to him “so whats this girls name then?” he says her name is lucy and shes really beautiful and shes reli nice i shud get along with her, so im like oo ok thats werid my ex gf used to be called lucy, shes also an actress and we just laugh about it and we leave it there. so anyway we get to picadilly circus and he says to me, thats her over there, and from behind she is the spitting image of my ex gf and i was really worried as i was walking closer to her, then she turns around….. youll never guess who is there infront of me? ……. yea it was only my ex gf, she new i was coming here for this role cuz she was txting me about it. so i pull her to one side and say “why did u bother doing this when u new i was gonna be male lead?” and she was like “well in the script the female lead is gf to the male lead and i thought as me and u have been together in reality we could bring realism to the scrpit” now wot do u girls think, is tht just a lie to spend more time around me? or wud u say thats a legitimate reason? all u girls think alike so what u girls think about tht?
So guys thats my dhv story please tell me some feed back, it looks long in writting but when saying it out it dont take very long to go through. feed back would be great
I’m just some random dude who’s not that big of a deal. The likelihood of me attracting hot babes is minimal. :[
Can someone answer me Please!?
Will a third season come in?
Brandon.
Go onto google. Type in Ross Jeffries onto google image. He started this pickup shit, was THE authority before Mystery method AND still makes enough to keep his business in profit.
Now, is he brad pitt lookalike?
iamking
First off , it definitely shows preselection
Telling her you are an actor is quite good. Show your ambition when describing this, tell her about how big the role was and how much you were looking forward to the challenge.
Here is the bit I am not to keen on “I pull her aside”. That’s a bit of a vibe kill image there, shes having fun on set , and you possessively pull her aside ? How about you thought nothing more of it, until you were leaving to get some coffee at starbucks, she runs up and grabs your shoulder smiling, and walks with you . Insert some kino by demonstrating the way she touched your shoulder. Then the conversation takes place.
I am no MPUA, just learning myself however I hope this helps
Lev,
If you sarge then, you could do it away from your local community . Still be a “nice guy” in your local community if you want.
However,in my opinion that would be a cop out. Men do not cop out. There is nothing bad about having lots of women in your life. You are a successful guy to the core remember? These hot women just respond to that!
Your parents want you to give them grandchildren eventually, I would guess. Give them some encouragement as you bring back gorgeous women who are actually really nice as well .
Lots of women indicates success. No one is going to dislike you for that.