So You Want to Be A Pick-up Artist?
Well you’ve made a good choice. I’m not going to lie to you, it wont be easy and it won’t happen overnight. But if you decide that you really, TRULY want to change your life (complete with the kinds of women you’ve always dreamed about) and push through the tough parts, it will be rewarding and fulfilling and provide you with a skill-set that will benefit you in every other aspect of your life.
Dispelling Some Myths
There are a lot of myths, uninformed ideas, and preconceived notions about pick-up. These get discussed A LOT over on our VA forum, but here are the most common myths I hear from both PUAs and people outside the community when it comes to training as a PUA:
Isn’t Pick-up About Lying and Manipulation?
We’re not all Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother (although that is a really great show). Most of the guys who get into pick-up are actually great guys with great personalities and interesting hobbies. Most PUAs (as Style once put it) are exactly the kinds of guys that women always wish they’d meet, but are never attracted to when they do. We just teach you how to be attractive and convey the best parts of you personality.
There are certainly some “Dark Side” PUAs out there, but they rarely find what they’re looking for and give up fairly quickly. The really good PUAs – the best in the world – have no need to lie or manipulate women or put them down and play on their insecurities. They have simply learned how to confidently and playfully approach groups of beautiful women, captivate them with their charm, convey the best aspects of their personality, and create a genuine connection with the woman (or women) of their choice. And having gotten so good at it, they began teaching others how to do exactly this. That, at it’s core, is what pick-up is all about.
Mystery Method Makes You A Social Robot, I Hear “Natural Game” Is Way Better
The concept of “Natural Game” is just marketing hype created by people who are looking to cash in on gullible guys looking for the “next big thing in pickup”. Mystery’s Method IS natural game. It’s exactly what the so-called naturals do – usually without even being aware of it – backwards engineered so that we can learn it and apply it ourselves. Most of the teachings from “Natural Game” products pretty much boil down to “be yourself”, “be confident”, and/or “be playful and funny”. And really, “be yourself” is what your mother, your sister, and probably all of the girls who have friend-zoned you over the years have told you. What we teach is how to BE YOUR BEST SELF while at the same time knowing what to say, when to say it, and (possibly most importantly) HOW to say it.
Canned Material Isn’t Being Genuine
Canned Material (stories that have either been pre-written or created by another PUA) can sometimes feel awkward or incongruent to some people. The reason we use canned material is that we know these stories work when delivered correctly. Delivery (body language, facial expressions, and your voice itself) is 90% of the game. So when we work with you, or if you are out there alone and you find that women aren’t responding to a piece of canned material, we know right away that the problem isn’t necessarily what you’re saying, but HOW you’re saying it.
Have you ever been in a bar or a club or even on the street, seen a beautiful women, wanted to approach her, and then suddenly found that your mind had gone blank and you had no idea what to say? This happens to a startling amount of men (myself included back in the day). But if you already have an opener deep in the back of your mind that, no matter how intimidatingly beautiful the woman is, you can deliver without even having to think about it, then at least you can START the conversation. That’s the whole idea behind canned material, to help you get up and running, to give you something to say and teach you how to say it. I’ve actually written a whole article about this subject on the blog: http://www.venusianarts.com/canned-material-vs-winging-it/
Where to Get Started
Most people start by reading The Game by Neil Strauss and The Mystery Method: How to Get Women Into Bed by Mystery. These are great starting points and give you an introduction to the PUA community and the basics of Mystery’s Method. But if you want to become great at this and do it FAST, it is going to take a little more than just reading a single book and trying to figure out the rest for yourself.
Revelations – Step 1 for beginners and an unprecedented font of knowledge for those who think they know enough already
If you’ve read either of the books above, your very next book should be Revelations. This is the widely considered the most informative book of its kind, regardless of your skill level. It is the most comprehensive and literal interpretation of Mystery’s method ever put into one readable online format. From this book you will learn the method step-by-step, meaning-by-meaning as LoveDrop details the mind of the man known worldwide as The World’s Greatest Pickup Artist. In addition to the e-book, there is also a fantastic companion set of DVDs and CDs. This Master Set Edition includes over 8 DVD’s of combined custom infield & in class training delivered by Mystery, Matador & LoveDrop. In class demonstrations add context to the method from opening to building attraction to CLOSING! In-field footage shows the mPUA in action breakdown the method to his madness using gambits and techniques to claim his prize. Matador explains calibration and uses women to illustrate his technique, while LoveDrop assists adding context to Matador’s madness. The book and DVDs combined will help jump-start your game and arm you with the tools and knowledge you will need to get out there and start interactive with some truly beautiful women.
If you’re coming out of a bad break-up and maybe looking to get back with an ex-girlfriend, you should also check out the Relationship Management e-book. It represents our next phase of evolving your dating skills and introduces you to the later phases of the Mystery Method. How do you keep a relationship fun and exciting? How does one handle a break-up without looking weak? How to you get that one girl BACK? This book covers it all.
Zen of Cool
If you feel awkward,uncomfortable, or unsure of how to act in social situations, check out LoveDrop’s Zen of Cool DVDs. This product goes into detail about the importance of a strong state of mind to live life and of course attract women in the process. It will help you get a grasp in life of how to behave around hot women and social circles. LoveDrop will show you how to be the center of attraction in any community with these mind techniques and ways of being and teach you to be the best and most interesting person at anytime, saying goodbye to anxiety!
The StyleLife Challenge
Years ago, Style posted an interesting, step-by-step guide to changing your life and getting a date in 30 days. It was called the 30-day Challenge. Every day, a new challenge would be posted online, featuring instructions and information on improving a specific aspect of your life. They started with simple things like “Get fashion advice” or “Meet your neighbors” and each day got deeper and more challenging until you were doing things like “Sing karaoke in front of an audience” or “Approach ten people during the day” to “Invite people to a party”. It became such a success that he published the challenges into a single book. This is a fantastic way to push yourself to get out there and improve your life while also practicing the principles and techniques described in Revelations.
The Power of Now
In addition to LoveDrop’s Zen of Cool, this is the go-to book for developing your “inner game”. It’s technically a spiritual book; drawing on parables from Christianity and Buddhism but it’s also grounded in psychology – particularly the study of the ego, identity, and the sense of self. If you’re depressed, read this book. If you’re self-conscious, read this book. If you hate who you are, read this book. If you find yourself dwelling on painful or embarrassing parts of your past, read this book. If you get into your head and find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this”, read this book.
Taking a PUA training bootcamp is without a doubt the fastest and most effective way to see serious results and improve your game drastically. Through a combination of in-class instruction, training exercises, and real-world in-field experience, we arm you with the tools you need to become a great PUA.
The reason why our bootcamps work so well is that you get hands-on training in a safe, quite environment where you learn exactly what to do. Then we they take you out in field, show you how it’s done, and then have you do it while correcting you on the fly.
Our instructors will only teach you techniques and routines that they have personally used and know work well. If we cant demonstrate it for real in the field, we don’t teach it. We will rebuild the foundation of your social skills and make sure you leave with all the tools and guidance you need to continue on your journey to mastery.
Larger superconferences are great because you have a greater variety of instructors from different backgrounds and ages, and each with their own unique array of skills. Our bootcamps, meanwhile, are much smaller in order to get you far more personal one-on-one time with a trainer who will help you with your individual sticking points and personal learning goals.
How Does A PUA Bootcamp Work?
Before you even show up to your live bootcamp, Venusian Arts preps you with a virtual training session. We make sure that before you even walk in the front door, you are armed with a solid routine stack. The idea is that even though your routine stack takes 90% of the work, it will only account for 10% of the results. So we work with you ahead of time to get that out of the way. This way you can focus your live training time on what really matters: delivery, tonality, body language, kino escalation, knowing how and when to isolate, recognizing windows of opportunity to escalate, and pulling the trigger.
Then of course is the bootcamp itself. The day portion basically covers all the basics of attraction and is a fully interactive session. You finally get real clarity on how to apply everything you have learned. Plus this is when our instructors are going to get real idea of what has been holding you back all of these years. You’ll watch our instructors demo routines and stories, and then we will get demonstrations from you. By the time day one is over with, you will have true understanding for what needs to get done.
The night session though is the crème de crème of what we offer. This is when all the teachings and concepts become real. We might have had ideas of what was holding you back in life, but now your sticking points will be crystal clear. Nobody will ever give you the critical feedback that Venusian Arts coaches will give you. We are told on almost a daily basis, “You changed my life.”
Why Going In-Field Is So Important
Just watching is not learning. Many students just want to sit back and watch their trainer open sets all night. And while it is certainly great to see a skilled PUA in action, observing their body language, roll-offs, and expressions (even if you cant hear what they are saying), the best way to learn is to open a set yourself. This gives your instructor an opportunity to correct YOUR body language, mannerisms, etc. Most of the time, students don’t even realize that they are doing certain things incorrectly. Even after learning not to do it during the seminar, and even after watching one of the other trainers do it the RIGHT way, they will still continue to make the same mistakes without even being aware of it. But if you just stand and watch other people open, your trainer will never be able to spot it and correct you. The most common example of this is leaning in. Even when students THINK they’re not doing it, they still do it unconsciously. During almost every bootcamp I have taught at, there has been a point where I have had to walk up behind a student – while in set – and pull on the back of his shirt/collar to bring his head back in order to stop him from leaning in. And what’s funny is that as soon as this happens, I usually see the GIRL start leaning in to him! After that, you can bet the student never leans into a set again.
Prepping For A PUA Bootcamp
The best way to prep for a bootcamp is by doing the “newbie drill”. Go out four nights a week and open twelve sets a night for four weeks. I know, it sounds like a lot of work. But do the math on that. That’s 48 sets a week, or 192 sets after four weeks. After nearly 200 sets, you will feel more comfortable in bars and clubs, feel less terrified of approaching women, and will probably already have seen some measure of success. And if not, then at least now you know where your sticking points are and you will have an idea of what to work out during the bootcamp itself.
After PUA Training
Get out as much as possible after taking a bootcamp. A large percentage of students will take a bootcamp, go in-field with their PUA trainer, take tons of notes, and then make up a bunch of excuses for why they cant or don’t need to go out into the field for a while. You want to practice what you’ve learned as much as possible, as soon as possible. The more you practice while everything is still fresh, the quicker it will become ingrained into your mind.
The StyleLife Academy is a great tool for this. It evolved from Style’s 30-day Challenge and is now a subscription-based service in which you receive daily missions, complete with e-books, audio, and occasionally video, to help you develop your game and improve your life overall. It’s a little pricy, but if you can afford it it’s worth the money. And if not, it can’t hurt to do the 30-day challenge again. Or, if you have an iPhone, check out Style’s app: A Better Man https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/neil-strauss-a-better-man/id520641362?mt=8
Common Excuses For Not Taking A Bootcamp
Rather than becoming masters of the pick-up arts, many PUAs become masters of making excuses for not taking the next step in improving their lives. We’ve heard every excuse in the book, but these are the most common:
“It’s too expensive. I can’t afford that much for a bootcamp.”
You have to ask yourself how much your happiness is worth. What are you willing to spend for a life-long skillset that will improve every other aspect of your life? We can tailor a training program that fits your budget AND we offer financing and payment options.
“I can’t justify spending that much money. What if it isn’t worth it?”
We offer a satisfaction guarantee. If you’re not happy with what you saw and what you learned, we will work with you until you are satisfied.
“I can learn this myself through free advice on the web and videos on YouTube.”
Do you think that, if you spent a weekend watching Kung Fu movies, you’d be able to walk into a dojo and be able to hold your own? Chances are, you’d get your ass kicked by someone who has spent the time learning first-hand with a skilled instructor. The exact same thing applies to pick-up.
Phone or Virtual Coaching
If you have a specific sticking point, our coaches are available for phone consultation. These can be booked in 30 minute segments for as little as $100. All of our coaches are certified by our master trainers and can help your through your sticking points, questions, or problems in your game.
Virtual Coaching is a condensed version of our regular workshop. It is a 3 hours long group training (via phone or skype), focused purely on routine stack creation and delivery. It is not custom for you specifically (unlike our routine stack course), but it will give you solid understanding for how to apply all of the concepts you have read about. The culmination of all the ‘theory’ and ‘concepts’ comes together as you finally see how a routine stack is supposed to look and feel.
These are great options for those who cannot afford to pay for a full bootcamp, or cannot actually travel to a location where one is being held.
Either before or during our bootcamps we always make sure you have a cheat sheet, and will sit down and work with you on writing some real DHV stories from your life. But if you want a full, personalized routine stack and cheat sheet, our Stack Creation service is the way to go. Working 1-on-1 with one of our senior coaches to develop, we help you develop a badass personalized routine stack based on real stories from your life. We teach you how to present the very best version of who you actually are. No more using other people’s material! All phases of attraction are covered. Openers, transitioning, A2 and buying temperature, qualifying and DHVs, kino escalation, bounce, instant date, and of course how to close.
If you’ve taken training with us, you’ll notice that very soon you’ll start getting a lot of phone numbers from girls. For me, it got to the point where I actually couldn’t keep track of all the different girls I was talking to at any given time. It would start to bother me as all sorts of fantastic women were simply forgotten in the barrage of texts or calls, or I wouldn’t remember who they were or where I met them. Out of frustration, I created the Venusian Arts Phone Game app for iOS (coming soon for Android, so don’t worry). At first it was just to keep track of all the women I’d closed, including important details, things we’d talked about, and to set reminders for when to call or text them next. Then, in addition to keeping track of all my numbers, I also added pre-made text gambits (known as pebbles) that I would send to girls for a quick laugh, keep them thinking of me, or to start a conversation. And after spending many years trying to figure out how to call and text women, I actually ended up with a whole archive of articles on phone and text game, which I also included in the app. It’s basically a complete toolkit for all things phone game: everything from getting her number to getting her to the date.
A Note On Wannabe Gurus and Upstart Companies
There are a lot of guys out there with marketing websites promising “free” e-books and cheap bootcamps. Let’s face it: in any industry there will always be somebody trying to make a quick buck without offering anything of substantial value. The sad reality is that there are a lot of sketchy “wannabe Mysterys” out there who try to inflate their ego by having guys pay them money to listen to them talk. And unfortunately, there is no “regulatory” body to separate the frauds from the real deal. There actually used to be a website called PUA Watchdog, but it turned out that the people behind it were just guys with their own upstart PUA company who seemed to be trying to eliminate their competition.
So watch out for wannabe gurus who offer to take you out for cheap. A single guy who has just started is own “pick-up company” with a flashy website but nothing to back up his claims is probably going to be a rip-off. More often than not, these are guys who have taken a bootcamp with a larger company (usually Venusian Arts), practiced what they learned for a few weeks, and then felt that they are qualified to teach it themselves. Usually, they are far from being great pick-up artists, let alone good teachers.
Why Should You Train With Venusian Arts
At Venusian Arts, we pride ourselves in seeing our students succeed. There is a reason that we are one of the top names in the industry, why our master trainers have been featured in books, interviewed in numerous newscasts, magazines, and talk shows, and even had two seasons of a top-rated show on VH1 – because we can back up each and every one of our claims. Our bootcamps and training programs are proven and effective. Just look at our reviews: http://www.venusianarts.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7
We can design a training package to fit your needs and budget. We keep our student-to-instructor ratios low to make sure you get plenty of personal, face-to-face time with an instructor. Many of our instructors (myself included) have been professionally trained as personal coaches. These aren’t just guys off the street who happen to be good at picking up girls. Our instructors have been TRAINED to teach you how to improve your dating life. They have learned how to work with you, find out what you want and where your sticking points are, and design a plan to get you to where you want to be. Most of us have come from extremely low points and turned our lives around in astounding ways. We’ve been where you are, felt what you are feeling, and we can help you achieve your dreams and build the life you want.