HOW TO PICK UP PORN STARS! A fieldguide...

[Johnny Soporno]

There have been a number of people looking for my advice on this over the years, so I'm throwing this together from responses I've written previously, and flushing it out somewhat here...


Why would a guy WANT to sleep with a Porn Star?

I've been to bed with maybe a hundred professional pornstars in the last decade or so, non-commercially... and in EVERY CASE, the question as to whether-or-not to do so was weighed individually...

I'm a strong proponent of 'sexual professionalism' - but to be frank, eighty-plus percent of porn performers are simply too 'broken' for me to wish to engage in playful sex with them...

Now if a girl is making porn for 'the right reasons' then I'm all over it!
But tragically, very few actually are....

The 'right reasons' are because she loves sex, loves being watched having sex, and gets off on BEING a Porn Star.


What about exposure to diseases?

I must say, the degree of sexual playfulness amongst pros is intense and amazing, and the comfort that everyone has a current (less than 30 days old) full-spectrum STD result PUBLISHED ONLINE (via www.aim-med.org) is incredibly liberating and confidence building!

The Adult Industry Medical centers are all linked-in to one-another, sharing test results to prevent outbreaks. The monthly HIV etc tests are not the 'ELIZA' style anti-body tests, but instead are EXTREMELY accurate PCR/DNA tests which provide results overnight, and can detect infection within DAYS of first exposure.

Because everyone in the business MUST have their STD status available for the producers and their co-stars, there is FANATICAL dedication to never taking a chance on losing the ability to work (which continues until they have two consecutive 'clean' test results) or having the stigma of being SO DISRESPECTFUL of your peers that you haven't considered THEIR CAREERS ALSO.

You can't catch an STD from someone who doesn't have one, even without condoms!


Why are Porn Stars different from any other hot girls in clubs?

Ok, you need to recognize that sexually-confident superhotties like Porn Stars are DIFFERENT from your 'typical HB9+' types you might find out in clubland in that they accept their sexual-attractiveness as a given.

Normal 'Club Girls' are generally NOT self-confident, and usually have pretty low self-esteem. They are actually IN the club in the first place to get VALIDATION from guys because of their looks.

Even if they DESCRIBE themselves as models, or have a models' portfolio card (Z-card) to hand out, they most-likely haven't ever had the courage OR the look necessary to really BE a professional model... and since that has meant that they've taken jobs as hair salon receptionists, dental hygienists, veterinary assistance, or whatever... they desperately seek out mens' attention to re-affirm them of their desirability.

Contrarily, Porn Stars, spokes-models, photo models, and exotic dancers fall into the category of "PROFESSIONALLY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS" and tend to have a different attitude; they ALREADY have all the validation they need, based on their looks - so 'negging' falls on deaf ears, as well as banal compliments.

With women like these, the only 'DHV' which matters is demonstrating your own self-comfort, and through that, the acceptance of their beauty as merely a component of their "interestingness" to you.

You must NEVER appear star-struck, or overwhelmed by their hotness or beauty! It must be obvious to them that you are undaunted by their popularity, their fame, or their sex appeal.You'll need to engage them in conversations about things WHICH INTEREST THEM - and the easiest and most certain way to do that is by DEMONSTRATING HAPPY CURIOSITY - in other words, being light and playful and INTERESTED IN WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY, encouring them to keep describing the things which they wish to talk about through asking insightful and INTERESTED questions. [This is true for MOST beautiful women, and most women and men in general, but amongst the top-tier of sexiness, they almost never get to talk about their own interests!]

Forget 'Cocky & Funny' here - instead, Playful & Confident wins the day!


Remember always: BE CURIOUS, accepting, and appreciative. The LONGER you keep them talking about the things THEY like to talk about (themselves, their interests, their thoughts and positions on things and people) the MORE ATTRACTIVE you'll become.

Look at Howard Stern, or any talk-show host - they are NOT nice to look at, BUT because they know how to keep someone talking about themselves, and they know how to LISTEN ATTENTIVELY AND ACTIVELY encouraging the speaker to continue speaking, they are COMPELLINGLY ATTRACTIVE.
You need to BE OKAY with their career choice: Respectful, yet not in-awe.

Demonstrate that you offer them 'non-judgmental acceptance' combined with sincere appreciation, and they will ADORE you for it.

(If you haven't come-to-comfort with the notion that women should be able to make their own decisions about with-whom and why they go to bed, or you are still caught-up believing a woman is 'a slut' or undesirable because she's INTO SEX, then please check out my Seductive Reasoning seminar, available through my homepage!)

Once they know they can open-up to you, and share their intimate emotional and cerebral aspects with you, they will rapidly transfer that sense of comfort and security into their carnal and visceral centers - and they will open-up other aspect of themselves... heh heh


THINGS WHICH WILL HELP:


Porn Stars, Spokes-Models, photo-models are 'WITH' agencies, they don't work FOR the agency - and actually, the agency is supposed to be working FOR THEM (which is why THEY pay the agent!) so you might ask "What agency are you with?"

The big agencies for Porn Stars are: (OBVIOUSLY NSFW LINKS!)
www.LADirectModels.com, (run by Derek Hay)
www.AlistModels.com, (run by September Dawn)
www.GoldstarModeling.com, (run by Joel Lawrence)
www.Type9Models.com (run by Kevin O'Neal)

For the most-part, MOST girls have worked with at least a couple of them if they have been in 'The Industry' for more than a couple of months... This makes for GOOD CONVERSATIONS!

Each Agency is known by the first-name of the owner/operator...

"Oh, you work with Derek?" "Is Joel the first agent you've worked with?" "How do you get along with September?" "Did you work with Kevin back when he was with Derek?" -

The Agencies are VERY incestuous and competitive... so it's fun to pick up on the gossip. Most of the people working at the agencies themselves have worked in other aspects of The Industry, and often for competing agents!

(For EXTRA industry gossip, visit www.lukeisback.com and www.LukeFord.com, but BE CAUTIOUS, a lot of Talent don't keep tabs on these tabloid-sites, and some people will get plenty mad at you for telling unpleasant them things about people they like!)

Every girl will have something positive to say about her current agency, and something negative (usually many things!) to say about her previous one(s)...

Other good non-contentious subjects:

"Have you shot any fun scenes lately?"
"Has the economy slowed you down much?"
"Who's your favorite Male-Talent you've worked with so far?" ("Talent" is used in place of 'actor/actress/performer') A follow up might be "Cool! Is there anyone you've really wanted to work with, but haven't yet?" and follow THAT with "Ok, what is it about SoandSo that gets you so hot?"...

"Have you had to put anyone/many people on your "No!" list yet?" (a No! list is the guys she won't work with, which the agents all respect)

"Do you prefer shooting Gonzo, or do you like features too?" (Gonzo is sex-only, no real storyline, no need for scripts - "features" are much higher production-value shoots, might require SOME acting - but take 3-5 hours longer for no extra pay!)

These topics will give you a appearance of knowing something about the production-side of things.... if they ask how you know, just tell 'em you're a friend of mine

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy - Porn Czar

P.S. I'll update this whenever I think of anything else to add!

[The Wild One]

I've met only three pornstars in my life. Two of them were really weird, and had mental problems or something. One of them was really cool. I wouldn't mind going to LA to hang out with some at a party just out of curiosity.

- On a side note pornstars have great sex advice for guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEe1UOh-twA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhevNN1BDnQ&NR=1 <- I think allot do it for this reason watch the whole video

[Decibel]

Lots of useful info here. Thanks, JS.

In the few times I've run into porn stars out in bars and clubs, I realized I had some internal dialogue that went like this:

'Here's a girl who has A LOT of sex, I'm assuming. So though I'm a high-value guy, how much currency does the offer of MORE sex (from me) hold?'

This is self-defeating nonsense, but is there any validity to the notion that porn stars have so much sex available to them in so many options, that another guy in a bar offering it up is of little value?

[Randel Flagg]

Very good post guys. I agree with you Decibel. Pornstars to me are an obscure group of the female population. I have met over 100 of them in my PU career. I have friends in the industry and Gentlemans clubs in the New England area. I think they are gool people. Some of them appear to be intelligent girls and dont follow the typical steriotype of the dumb chick that likes dick. However, some of the ones i met were .. well you know . . dumb. The behind the scens stuff scares the shit out of me. There is just to much risk out there. With emotional baggage, Disease and a host of other issues

I guess as I have progressed in my PU career. I have found that although looks do play a major role in the women that I converse with, I have also found that I am attracted to women that are intelligent too. A women that tests my game. A woman that makes the hunt so much more worth the end result.

Im sure that pornstars would be a cool novelty group of chicks to game. I just find that normal ordinary women are just better overall.

But thats just me. I think if it is an area of interest for some guys GO FOR IT !!!!!!!

[Johnny Soporno]

Originally Posted by Decibel

Lots of useful info here. Thanks, JS.

Always happy to help!

Originally Posted by Decibel

In the few times I've run into porn stars out in bars and clubs, I realized I had some internal dialogue that went like this:

'Here's a girl who has A LOT of sex, I'm assuming. So though I'm a high-value guy, how much currency does the offer of MORE sex (from me) hold?'

This is self-defeating nonsense, but is there any validity to the notion that porn stars have so much sex available to them in so many options, that another guy in a bar offering it up is of little value?

That's TOTALLY BOGUS THINKING.

There's a FANTASTIC differences between 'porn sex' and REAL SEX.

As an open-minded, self-satisfied and happy guy, you are not looking to WORK with her; you're looking to PLAY with her!
Her having had lots of unsatisfying sex (at work) makes the appeal of having playful, satisfying sex OFF-CAMERA extremely enticing.

That, combined with the extremely high likelihood that you aren't massively over-hung like most of her co-stars will have been further carries a powerful appeal (BIGGER AIN'T USUALLY BETTER!)

You need to shut the voice of your ego up - and instead get to know the girls for who they are, and what they are about, rather than pre-rejecting yourself.

Pornstars ALREADY ACCEPT that their 'reputation as a Good Girl' is blown, so they can do as they will - which is profoundly better than any girl who is STILL trying to appear as a "Good Girl" to you, and therefore makes you demonstrate that you're willing to PAY by making you take them on several 'audition' dates before they have sex with you.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

[Johnny Soporno]

Originally Posted by Randel Flagg

Very good post guys. I agree with you Decibel. Pornstars to me are an obscure group of the female population. I have met over 100 of them in my PU career. I have friends in the industry and Gentlemans clubs in the New England area. I think they are gool people. Some of them appear to be intelligent girls and dont follow the typical stereotype of the dumb chick that likes dick.

Good calls, Randel

Originally Posted by Randel Flagg

However, some of the ones i met were .. well you know . . dumb. The behind the scenes stuff scares the shit out of me. There is just to much risk out there. With emotional baggage, Disease and a host of other issues.

Heh - as with all people, some will impress you, and MOST will not

That said, the risk of diseases is FANTASTICALLY LOWER with Pornstars than with average, non sex-professional women. Porn girls are tested MONTHLY (www.Aim-Med.org) and have their test results published on an industry-only public bulletin board.

If they have a positive result to anything, they will NOT be able to work until they have shown themselves to be 'clean' on two successive tests... which means they will not be able to earn a living, they will have the public embarrassment of having been irresponsible, and they may have infected colleagues and friends before they found out - which will cost them a lot of future roles!

For these reasons, the chances a Pornstar will risk non-condom sex with someone who is not also tested and carrying current paperwork is basically nil. Whereas as we all know, NORMAL GIRLS ROUTINELY HAVE NON-CONDOM SEX, frequently with one-night stands!

The number of women I've broken out a condom with, who've responded "Oh, you use condoms?! That's great! I can trust you then... you don't need to use one with me." or after we've had sex once, before we've gone out for dinner, say - and once we've returned from dinner, a few hours later, and she says "Oh, we used one last time... I trust you" as though she couldn't possible contract anything, or become pregnant, on a second-encounter in the same evening!

Originally Posted by Randel Flagg

I guess as I have progressed in my PU career. I have found that although looks do play a major role in the women that I converse with, I have also found that I am attracted to women that are intelligent too. A women that tests my game. A woman that makes the hunt so much more worth the end result.

I'm with you there - I have no time to waste with bimbos, whether 'civilians' or 'pornstars' - but with pornstars, if they are sexually interested in you, they waste none of your time! It's right from wherever you met them to someplace to get it on!

Johnny Soporno
Porn Czar

[Prophet]

Moved to Best Of.

Thank Argo for the nomination

[fair rose]

This theard is exceptionally well written. Kudos Johnny S.

[RFV]

I just met my first porn star on NYE. I first wished her happy new year then I told her " hey I want to get to know you you seem interesting." We moved to a quieter local in the club and had a great convo. She turned out to be very smart and fun laid back. I #closed, saw her the next night had a few drinks before she left to go back to LA. We have been taking and texting and we have plan to go out when she comes back to Vegas this week for the AVN.

Johnny is so right just by BEing CURIOUS, accepting, and appreciative of her was pretty much all it took. I never even ask or talk about her job other then "want do you do?" After that I never brought it up again. I think I will stay friends with this HB for a long time. After all she's just a cool chick with a cool job.

RFV
Remember if you can't have fun in Vegas you'd better change your prescription

[Johnny Soporno]

Originally Posted by RFV

Johnny is so right just by Being CURIOUS, accepting, and appreciative of her was pretty much all it took.

That's the key to being INTERESTING and DISARMING - get her to realize that you offer her acceptance and appreciation without either disapproval or awe.

Originally Posted by RFV

I never even ask or talk about her job other then "want do you do?" After that I never brought it up again. I think I will stay friends with this HB for a long time. After all she's just a cool chick with a cool job.

That's very cool! Now, for your NEXT trick, you must escalate to a sexual-friendship, or more, without transitioning into neediness, possessiveness, or resentment from either party!

It was really great to meet you last night, albeit unexpectedly!

I'm just finishing the Lifestyle Induction workshop I've been doing this evening, but tomorrow begins my 'Seducing Pornstars' Bootcamp, which will be insane, to say the least

If you are interested in participating, there's still a few open slots, so check out http://SeducingPornstars.com for details

Johnny Soporno
In VEGAS, BABY!