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04-06-2010, 07:34 PM #1
Daygame guide part 1 - (London Style ;)
Daygame guide part 1
Hope this helps beginners & intermediates - I gave a talk in London last summer (LSS event) & have been too busy to repost it... Until now * Also I've added a bunch of other detail & ideas...
There are many ways to successfully daygame - here's my take - works for me
Inner-Game & Overall Daygame Philosophy:
WHY daygame is acceptable..
* *Whether you’re totally new to game, or if you’re good at bar/club game, but can’t get into daygame … Try to spot the deliberate mistake in the following 2 statements…
1)“Bar/club game is acceptable, because whatever reason the girl gives for her going out to the club (Friend’s birthday, ‘just to dance’), on some level she’s up for meeting new people, or she would have stayed at home”
2)“Daygame is just socially inappropriate & could never work, because hassling random strangers in the street or a shop/café is rude, and pisses everybody off…”
* *OK – It was a trick question * … 1 &2 are not ‘statements’, they’re OPINIONS… And understanding this is the KEY to my overall philosophy on daygame – and why I enjoy it ! … I’ll explain what I mean…
“Curiosity/Experimental frame vs goal-obsessed frame”.
* *My overall daygame frame is that I’m an “experimenter”… I’m testing what techniques/body-language/voice-tone etc. WORK, but ALSO I’m testing which of my ASSUMPTIONS about the social-world are TRUE… And which were mistaken habits… I try to keep my outlook "playful"... I'm playfully testing things out, BUT not too attached to needing to "get THIS set" - my goal is overall learning & understanding, not to get laid tonight with every girl i approach... Get it? * This takes the pressure off, and paradoxically - boosts success too
BELIEFS: some useful, some limiting - learn to test which are which:
* *As children & young adults, our beliefs are shaped by wide range of influences – TV, religion, friends, and our own experiences of successes & failures… BUT, faulty beliefs about women, yourself, and socialisation, can REALLY screw with your game!
So ... As you game ... Test MULTIPLE beliefs ... One-at-a-time! : (I'll write more on de-constructing & re-programming beliefs in a later part of this guide, but it's too complex to get into here... and i'm lazy )
* *If you believe 2)“Daygame is just socially inappropriate”, and actually your belief were wrong, this would be blocking you off from a lot of potentially fun & successful interactions… BUT, in reality, your game belief system is a LOT more complicated than just 1 or 2 beliefs… More like 1 or 2 thousand!
* *SOME beliefs you hold, are probably TRUE – e.g. Swear at an AMOG, and he probably will not like it, and could deck you… So testing this belief could be a bad idea… BUT a lot of other beliefs you hold, can be tested without significant risk to yourself… View daygame, not as “going out to pick-up chicks”, but rather as “going out to try a bunch of stuff, to TEST which of your social beliefs are true, and which… aren’t”
* *e.g. “No girl taller than me is ever attracted to me” – I believed this for years, so I never approached girls taller than 5’9” … Then I gamed HB-Busty-Hungarian, and the next 4 girls I ****** were ALL taller than me… So that PARTICULAR belief must have been wrong…
* e.g. “I can’t attract non-british-born black-girls” – I believed this till I was 30, now have shagged about 8… I genuinely felt that cultural differences would put them off, coz they’d think I was “too posh” or something – I actually forget my reasoning now, coz that belief is no longer real for me…
* e.g. “Approaching girls on the street/trains, indirectly – pretending to ask for directions, could never work” – When I began gaming, I adopted this as my stock opener for a long time – and it produced numerous lays… But a few years before, I didn’t believe ANY form of cold-approach would work…
* e.g. “Other people are looking at me (e.g. you’re on a tube, or in starbucks) – and if they see me try a pick-up, they’ll ALL want me to fail & think I’m a nob” … [MANY newbies feel this is true]… Well, I used to think this too – but since gaming, I’ve had many nods of acknowledgment & approval from bystanders after getting a girl’s number e.g. on a tube… Once a huge scary AMOG in a club actually came & shook me by the hand as I was leaving, after I’d semi-accidentally gamed the hottest girl in the place, who all the other guys couldn’t approach… I thought he was gonna hit me, til he broadly smiled, said "respect!" & shook my hand…*
* e.g. Re-opening a girl straight after a blowout NEVER works ... I believed this until about 6 weeks ago - Now I appreciate the power of the re-open!
* e.g. Short guys like me, could never win an AMOG battle - Cured!
* e.g Girls with boyfriends, are all in stable happy relationships, and none would sleep with a PUA - I've successfully cured this belief
* e.g. Girls hate guys with grey-hair... I had a major mid-life crisis when my hair started to go a bit grey... BUT, it turns out that girls actively are attracted to it! - freaky but true, so don't panic boys * [Ditto receding hairline! - this has NO negative effect on your ability to pull - I used to be very insecure about going bald, now I don't care at all!]
* *These are just a few examples – each of us has a DIFFERENT set of beliefs… ‘Repair’ a few of yours, and you can see a significant improvement in your results… ALSO, After a while you start to feel that ANY belief, no matter how solid it may seem, COULD be bullshit - so it's best to test it to check ... i.e. you'll get more adventurous & challenge social-conventions more... Girls LIKE guys with a little edge & risk-taking to their personality...
* *Like I said before, when you go out gaming, try seeing yourself as a “playful experimenter”, discovering which of your beliefs were actually totally wrong…
* *What my overall frame is NOT, is one of excessive goal-orientation & gruelling self-challenge…* It’s true in the very early stages of learning, you may need to set goals like “do ten approaches today”, just to get things rolling, but do allow yourself* to take a break from this thinking some days, and just “play about” with your game…
* *My frame is NOT that I’m a ‘predator’… My frame is not that I must become the top PUA daygame sex-ninja, respected by 100% of guys in the community… My frame is not that I’m pressuring myself to open/hook/close 100% of girls I approach….* *My overall daygame frame is just to* *“Walk about* … See what happens! ”
* *This keeps my mood light, and also girls are attracted to a* FUN/Self-amusing man, with strong belief in his own reality… I* THINK it’s ok to approach in the daytime – so it IS!* *(Some girls agree 8) )
Good philosophy for DIRECT daygame REJECTION:
I enjoy using the direct/honest/natural style of daygame… Even at night, or in bars, there’s something immediate & uncomplicated about just “getting to the point”…
Some PUA's will be familiar with the "blow me, or blow me out" - philosophy..
Basically this means that by using an edgy, direct or sexually confident opener, you risk getting 50% of girls immediately saying NO … BUT those girls who don’t walk away, get VERY attracted, coz you chose a bravery-based-opener, not an indirect opinion etc. (e.g. my method for girl-girl 2-sets is VERY unskilled, but it's the bravery that makes it work
WELL, this is a BIG aspect of direct natural honest day-game… Even the TOP direct daygamers DO get blowouts, more than you’d think… But when sets hook, they hook harder – so who cares! – Remember this, as you practise your own daygame – Her blowout can in a way say good things about you – at least you had the balls to go direct! – OK, maybe you made a mistake in your delivery or body language or positioning THIS time, but bravery is the first thing you need, and you had that – so give yourself credit!
Risk-taking = more success, AND more blowouts !
If she DID reject you, ultimately you never know why…* Maybe:
1)She thinks your cool & good-looking, but She’s engaged & gets married next week…
2)She’s 100% lesbian
3)Some aspect of your TECHNIQUE was not quite right ... You spoke a bit too fast, coz you’re still learning how to talk* * *……. Slow … * *, maybe you held eye-contact too long, too short.... Maybe you didn't stand with 'Alpha-posture' .... ALL these things can be improved if you consistently work on them...
4)She’s in a hurry/depressed/got PMT/just got sacked
5)You’re a tool! 8)
VERY OFTEN - it was something in option 3 ... Just a technical issue, you can 'fix' with practise... Her rejection was 'nothing personal' ... She doesn't know you yet, so ALL she sees of you, is what you present with your technique, vibe & conversation... All of these can be improved with dedication & practise...
- I’ve been flaked on by girls that gave me their number, and assumed it was because of something negative I did, or forgot to do… Only to bump into the same girl 6 months later, and be greeted very enthusiuasitcally, with the girls rattling off loads of my biographical details (“Hi Snake, how’s the singing, blah blah blah”) – Turns out she had split with her boyfriend, … NOT that I screwed up by "IOIing her IOD and not demonstrating enough value" and all that 'pickup-stuff'…
Some guys always assume it’s option 5!* * - Remember, your friends like you, maybe your ex let you shag her, so why shouldn't any girl you game girl like you too??* *If she doesn't, just go and approach one of the other 4,000,000,000,000 women on the planet (just leave the Persian and Kazakh ones for me! )
Avoiding 'learning perfectionism':
There's a LOT of skills you could work on to raise your game - Body language, voice-tone, facial-expression, acting skills, improvisation skills, learning loads of routines, the list goes on ...
BUT - Learning game is a bit like lifting weights at the gym, or learning guitar etc.: You've signed up for a GRADUAL Mental muscle/skill building process, ... If you start weight lifting, you don't expect to put on 10 kilos of muscle in 1 week - BUT if you just steadily work at training, and stay committed even if it hurts at first, you can easily get there... Allow yourself a little patience & compassion for yourself... What's the rush?
Also, taking a Non-ego based view of rejection/failure is useful.. Just view her rejection as feedback about your TECHNICAL delivery etc.* It's just like practising your golf-swing... If the ball doesn't go in the hole, get over it & try again - it's the overall process which is important...
Avoid excess 'competitiveness'
Some guys on here shag a new girl every week, other guys get super-hot girlfriends, other guys are virgins, just wanting to get some basic skills... Some guys are clever, some less so - Some are tall, some not... etc. etc.* you get the idea... Being too concerned with "comparing" yourself, can mess with your inner-game & reduce your results... As soon as I stopped giving a damn what other PUAs thought about me, I pulled a bunch of models! - I'm pretty sure it was the releasing of some of my ego/competitivness issues that made this happen - So maybe the same trick could help you?* (Also, honourable mention goes to Lars1 - You rock bro!* :-* )
Final thought for now – Roll your best pitch, try out some new game techniques, but remember: Some girls just LIKE you * Even without ‘game’…* I hope you find them*
Peace & Positivity!
01-30-2011, 11:07 AM #2Vanderick
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Daygame guide part 1 - (London Style ;)
Absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
When I started out I had a very fun experimental frame to my sarges, but i now realize I've lost that - probably why I've been stuck on the same sticking point for over two weeks.
01-31-2011, 03:11 AM #3
Daygame guide part 1 - (London Style ;)
This is a very informative post...Thank you for sharing
How direct are your openers during daygame?
I personally disagree with the set norm of going direct at daygame and indirect at nightgame...
At nightgame, the girl expects to be hit on, no matter how indirect your opener is, she'll know that you're hitting on her. Furthermore, she might perceive you as somehow, "ball-less" when you walk up to her, to consult her regarding your mate's "jealous girlfriend"!
At daygame, you're more prone to get rejected when using a direct opener. It might be perceived (by her) as unacceptable social behaviour, for a girl to positively respond and interact with someone who's blatantly hitting on her, especially when there are bystanders around.
my goal is overall learning & understanding, not to get laid tonight with every girl i approach... Get it? * This takes the pressure off, and paradoxically - boosts success too