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Thread: How did I get here
02-16-2017, 08:42 PM #1
How did I get here
It's the first time I write in a forum.
I'm from South America (South of South America... I don't want to name the country).
BTW: guys, in most parts of South America, girls are way harder than in the US, Canada, EU, etc. Exception: Argentina, Brazil, some parts of Colombia and Mexico. I'm not in those countries so... I feel like I have a real challenge here. In addition, is difficult for me to find 8s to 10s here.
Like 3/4 years ago, I started to hangout with a Spanish guy. I could say he is a Top Natural. The guy has a super talent to approach girls anywhere, anyhow, without any feeling of fear/awkwardness/overthink. His attitude when he approaches is very into what he's saying... like it was a serious thing. He is not super good looking or wear any fancy clothes at all.
On the other hand, me... very shy (insecure, social fear of what others could think and panic attacked when it comes to approach girls). The irony is that I could say I'm good looking. The thing is that I have lost a lot of opportunities with (8's or 10's) girls because of this first step, even though when the girl is looking, smiling or giving me all kinds of signals. When that happens, I used to think like "she is not looking at me" or "its only my perception" besides the fear, social fear, etc.
So, I started to get frustrated with this (yeah AFC, right?) and look for help in internet. So I found this Colombian guy Esteban Lara in youtube. Now that I'm reading The Game, I can tell he'd read the book (I had not idea of it or PUAs or anything like it at that time). This guy gave some advises in youtube that really helped me out to approaching and some games to play with girls (those worked out fantastic, I made out with a girl in less than 20 min... she was from Estonia though). After that period of time, I left behind the vids (can't remember why) but the problem was still there.
Late last year, I dated a girl, for one week and a half. She is super nice. I met her at a English meetup. We made connection very fast. That day she was like "we should go for a coffee one day" and I was like "Sweet!". So, we when out 2 days after. I met her at a bar where she was with some friends (I was like... ok...). So, after a few drinks her friends went home because they were tired and the girl was like "I wanna go dancing somewhere" and I was like "absolutely!". So, I took her to a club where we met a friend of hers and her date. At one moment, she was dancing giving me her back and I just grabbed her chin from behind and put her lips on mines. I started to kiss her a lot. When we were in the cab on the way home, I grabbed her hand and she didn't squeezed back (lack of IOI). After 2 days we (the 2 couples) went to a BBQ. By the end of it, she was weird... distant... cold... (another lack of IOI). During the next days she kept texting me, but distant and cold. We went out one more time and she was with the same attitude... I tried to kiss her and she was like "I like my space" and I was like "where the hell did that come from". She kept texting me after that evening though. Three days after that, we went to a farewell and she was extremely distant... I felt very bad, uncomfortable and not welcome. That night she told she wasn't interested in me anymore and man, that crushed me hard......
*I gotta say I wasn't aware of the body language at that time, as I am now.
I told the story to a friend and he was like "Dude! If a girl give you that attitude face without any reason, you must stop her and say: or we talk, tell me what's happen and change your face, or I leave. That's it". After that, my friend started to tell me how cold girls are (unconsciously) and that everything of this is just a GAME..... yes, a game.
While I was processing that info, I started my search in youtube/internet about body language and tools to get through the approaching fear/anxiety (again). Unfortunately, most of Esteban Lara's vids were deleted... so I started to see other youtubers. I started to look for "why men don't approach women" which was very helpful for me. One vid says that the right time to approach a girl is always and anytime (unless she is with her boyfriend.... we don't want any troubles... right?) So, in one video they mentioned something about PUA's, and then I found Style's book and Mystery's Method.
Before start reading the book (which I don't finish yet) I elaborate some openers that could work for me, from the ones than Esteban Lara was giving.
Now, I have done 5 approaches (2 in the bus, 2 in the subway and 1 on the street). I did it with 6's or 7's just to practice and losing fear. But now, with the openers, body language reading, lines, ESP and games, the negs and all I've learned, I feel like they can smell it... it's a nice feeling. I feel 80% less of fear when approaching a girl. I haven't tried the negs yet, but those are reserved for the 10's (right?).
Ok guys, I hope I didn't bore you with this long post.
I would like to thank the community chain I went through (Esteban Lara > Style > Mystery). And I want to thank all the supporters in the PUA community as well.
Wish you all the best,