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04-06-2015, 08:31 PM #1
Any tips trying to attract my wife
I'm new here. I have just been told (in the last few days) by my wife that she wants to separate from me. It's a long story of how we got to this point and I won't bore you with the details.
We live together with our three children. I've been a bit messed up about the news but I have been looking into ways to 'disconnect' from the emotion and to not rely on her for my happiness. Most men's reactions to this scenario are negative in a woman's eyes. Do you agree? They send a message of desperation and neediness that only repels the woman even further. Am I right?
So I need to be happy in myself and for myself regardless of what happens in a relationship. I heard that the person who cares less about staying together is the strongest one in a relationship. Is that right?
We still get along ok and we have discussed about me hanging around and staying in the house. We have been sleeping apart for 18 months and have not had sex in that time.
My wife's been away with the kids for a week and is due to return home tomorrow. I'm looking for advice on how I can behave so that I do not come across as desperate. Also, I still fancy her. Can I apply these PUA methods to this situation in order to 'turn her around' if you see what I mean.
I look forward to your thoughts.
04-13-2015, 04:17 AM #2
Most of what you will encounter in this forum is not about relationships, but I can suggest a book to make you really strong in any relationship. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. This book is amazing and as you read it you will see probably every mistake you have ever made and how to address it in this book. I wish I had found it sooner myself. I don't know where you are at in terms of your current relationship, but the biggest key to getting an ex back I ever found was make her see the man she fell for, not the broken man at the end, or the guy who made all the mistakes. You need to show her how you were to a tee the way you were when you met. Probably fun, out going, good with ladies, playful, energetic or whatever you did back then.
04-16-2015, 03:05 PM #3
Thanks for the reply Shimmer. I've been contemplating this over the last days and I think you've hit the nail on the head. This is exactly the conclusion I have come to and I have already taken steps to rectify 'myself'. Thanks for the book reference as well. I'll definitely take a look at that.
04-19-2015, 03:24 PM #4
Watch the movie 'Let The Game Begin.'
The moral is that in order for you to keep your wife, you will have to change on a fundamental level.
You can't just run some new routines, spit 'The Cube,' or whatever.
You are already living with this woman and have a whole life with her.
No amount of framing or being alpha will help you.
Instead, the only viable solution is a fundamental shift in how you relate to her.
Figure out what you want, why you want those things, and the ethical boundaries for you achieving those goals.
Then ACT. Make it happen for you today. Stop waiting until tomorrow.
Good luck through these tough times man.