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Thread: Newb needs advice.
04-04-2015, 09:43 AM #1
Newb needs advice.
Hello guys! I am new to PU and this is the first girl I ever game. Recently things have gone really bad so I need some advice.
Both me and that girl are in some group that meets once a week. If that helps, she is a Seductress (Pandora's box term).
First phase: I did a great job attracting her with a lot of DHVing, confidence in the group, having fun etc.
Second phase: Take her out on a date, I compeletely let her chase me, she's all over me, we have a great time and we make out. Next day is the group meeting. At the end we leave together to the train station, make out etc. We start texting more and she even initiates more text convos than before.
Third phase: She told me she prefers not to announce anything in the group coz it would seem like the group is an excuse for her which isnt. On the second group meeting after the date she flirts with a friend of mine so I start ignoring her. At the end, I wanted to make sure everything was ok so I try to kiss her but there was a guy from the group there and she doesnt let me. Our lips barely touch. Next week we dont say a word via text. On the next group meeting she keeps flirting hard with two of my friends and touching them a lot. I am compeletely unemotional, compeletely ignoring her even when she tries to give me some attention. The week after that still no text.
Fourth phase: She stops flirting with other guys, starts giving me back a lot of attention, sexual tension starts building again but I fail to take advantage of it. Maybe it was because it wasnt as before maybe (and probably) it was my fault. Then the sexual tention starts going off and after some weeks theres compeletely none. While we are hanging out (boredom and no sexual tension still) she says we should talk and tells me she thinks we should stay as we were at the time since there had been plenty of chances for both of us to do something but we hadnt. Actually the reasons were not very clear but I didnt want to seem that I needy so I didnt disagree or anything and just said that we dont have to follow any rule about "us" and that whatever happens is ok.
I would reaaally appreciate some advice here because I am really confused and dont know how I should react to this situation. Thanks in advance guys!
04-06-2015, 06:51 PM #2
You're focusing more on looking cool than on having sex.
This girl is clearly into you, and you her.
There's this part of your story that stands out: "Third phase…. she flirts with a friend of mine so I start ignoring her….. Next week we dont say a word via text. On the next group meeting she keeps flirting hard with two of my friends and touching them a lot. I am compeletely unemotional, compeletely ignoring her even when she tries to give me some attention. The week after that still no text."
What's up with you ignoring her and completely dropping the ball for 2 weeks?
Good game isn't completely ignoring a girl that you haven't had sex with just to prove you don't give a fuck (even though you clearly do).
Good is temporarily ignoring a girl to prove you can, and then getting her to reinvest you and moving the interaction forward.
it's push pull, not Push/Ignore. Ignore/Ignore… Nothing/nothing. I don't know.
"I let her chase me"
"didn't want to seem needy"
"it was my fault"
Give up control man. Enjoy the interaction between YOU and HER, not manipulate the entire interaction so she will do what you want.
Let her express HERSELF and see whether you still like her. Same goes for you. Express YOURSELF and see if she still likes you.
If she wants to flirt with other guys and that pisses you off and you want to be exclusive with her THEN TELL HER. STOP BEING A BITCH.
If you want an open relationship, THEN MAN UP and take what's yours and then go game other girls.
You are in this weird grey area of trying to do nothing even though you don't have other girls on your plate.
Let us know how it goes
04-08-2015, 11:08 AM #3
Thank you very much for the reply! Very useful advice!
So here's an update: The next day we ran into each other accidentally at an event. A lot of mutual friends were there. We had some private time, joked around, she embraced my hand, initiated hand holding at some point etc. The next day in the morning she posted a joke at a mutual friend's and my wall. It was a joke about a convo we had had the night before. We had a small chat, joked a bit and she threatened me "...otherwise I will become violent" (for fun obviously) and I answered jokingly "I want you to become violent". She asked me why repeatedly but I rolled off saying had stuff to do and we would talk in person. Later at the group meeting she initiated a lot of touch mostly with me and some other guy (the usual guy she flirts with who is not the "mutual friend" of the joke but another mutual friend). I didnt give in since I was trying to concentrate at the group conversations. Also she was very "violent" and aggressively ran everywhere some times, fought with everyone playfully etc. She did that with me too and maybe more intensely than with the others. After the meeting we went for some drinks (not just me and her) and there was some sexual tension, she embraced my hand etc. Suddenly, with a very submissive voice, she asked me "Why do you want me to become violent? Tell me" "Oh is that the reason of today's behaviour" "yeah, tell me why?" But the answer to this question should transform into a cold read. Problem was tha I could have such a private conversation at that moment coz all around us there were friends. I should actually but I wasnt ready for that too.... The moment we stayed alone, every bit of sexual tension was lost.
Ok so my plan for the next time I see her is to first of all try to throw the following cold read. I took it from Pandoras box and changed it a bit. It is for her spesific type. The last sentece is what I changed.
"Youre funny... I bet you get a lot of attention for your body. But thats not even half the story/your value, is it? I mean, I can understand that your intelligence and energy are pretty cool."
How I hope this will benefit my game:
a) I acknowledge her being sexy but at the same time I limit its effectiveness on me. Its like saying "youre nice tonight". This drives her crazy. Its on her to manage to turn me on.
b) I can see something that nobody else does. And its something that she wants men being able to see it. (these are obviously some traits of hers and her type's. Not some creations of mine). So I create deep rapport for reading such a deep attribute and also seperate myself from the other clowns chasing her.
c) This is a value-giving-statement. This way I motivate her to come back for more and keep chasing me. Also, my natural way of interacting with women is negging and teasing them all the time. After the cold read, I can overdo it as much as I like and the effects will actually be pretty good. It will motivate her even more to chase me because she knows that I dont "not care".
d) Hopefully it will help keeping the sexual tension alive and even raising it.
Moreover I will try as always not to run after her, talk to her like a good friend (as Pandora suggests) and talk passionately about goals and, if I am able to, about sex. Negs and teasing will be thrown all the time too.
What do you think guys? Any hole to the plan (surely there are a lot)? Any advice?
Last edited by Gond; 04-08-2015 at 11:11 AM.
04-08-2015, 11:08 AM #4
Last edited by Gond; 04-08-2015 at 11:10 AM.
04-08-2015, 01:04 PM #5
Make it happen, Gond.
Let us know how it goes.
04-13-2015, 04:54 AM #6
I would follow Neil on this one, and bring another girl to flirt with you in front of her. Even if its a girl who is just a friend but is in on the plan! You obviously know where to accidentally make this happen! Jealousy is powerful. Short of that I don't think I have ever been after one girl that long, its either on in 2 days or I get short attention span and find another lol. That is my messed up reality right now! It does appear she likes you, I think you might also just create an event, talk to her about it, but don't invite her right away. Then invite her the next day. Its classic strategy but the classics work for a reason. Make it something where she can meet at your house, show her around, then leave together, come back after the event, she will be comfortable then invite her back in.
04-15-2015, 07:57 PM #7
First of all your advice is very much appreciated guys!
Update: On Sunday, when the group meeting took place, I had already built (rebuilt actually) a lot of attraction via texts (I did my studying on text game hehe). So she gave me a ton of signs but we didnt have much private time so nothing happened. Some of the signs she gave me include touching my body (trying to check my abs etc hahahaha) and licking a lollipop like she's giving a blowjob LOL! So if I dont screw this up now its pretty much done!
I have already set up something like what you suggest, actually, Shimmer. There's an event and I have made sure that she is going to be there and some other girls that I have invited are going to be there as well. One of them is a very intimate friend of mines so yeah...
04-15-2015, 07:57 PM #8
For some reason my browser keeps double posting everything...
Last edited by Gond; 04-15-2015 at 07:59 PM.