From Rosebudd, The American Pimp by John Dickson

Ask Rosebudd Show (Catching Women)

27) Learn How to Pimp a Ho After She Has Chose and Come Back

That’s the one problem you have when you get the kind of hos that stay. You start to like them, even love them. When they get out of pocket, you tend to take it personal. Try to remember this above all. No matter how much of a motherfucker you are, no matter how long you had the ho and she never got out of pocket, no matter how much Game you and the ho kicked, when she does get out of pocket, remember a bitch is always going to be a bitch, as a bitch is a bitch, is a bitch. That means get over it and pimp, son.

26) When a Ho Leaves Your Ass, Don’t Try to Figure It Out

All women are fickle. Hos are no different. Women function on 99.9% emotions. Bitches leave for the dumbest reasons, or no reason at all. Least of all the reasons you think it is. And I’ll tell you something else, if you know why she left, you weren’t pimping. If a real pimp spots a problem, he’s obligated to solve it. That’s why when a ho leaves, you don’t supposed to know why.

25) Big Game Starts with Small Moves

Most niggas want to be a Giant in the pimping immediately. They don’t realize that you have to do a lot of little things before that can occur.

24) Invest in Your Overall Game Plan If You Want to be a Master Pimp

You can’t expect to be a Master Pimp without investing. Buying jewelry, clothes, the most fly cars, fabulous homes and apartments and all of the toys you can imagine, is a good start.

23) A Pimp Has Got to be Ready to Catch at All Times

You’ll never know where the next ho is coming from. It might be at the carwash or in the supermarket, or at the movies. She truly can come from anywhere.

22) All Pimps Don’t Have the Same Principles

I had to find that out the hard way. You must have a hard set of principles to live by. Any Master of Pimpology had his own perspective on the Game and a set of rules on how to play it.

21) Don’t Take for Granted the Sacred Knowledge You Have is Common

Bitches don’t know shit about this, until you tell them. And they damn sure don’t know shit about your style, until you bring it to their ass.

20) Don’t Get Stuck in a Conversation, be a Speed Shifter

Sometimes you think this certain conversation will catch the bitch, but it doesn’t click. Or, you can see the ho wants you to get down on her a different way. You must be able to spot if she is reacting properly to your conversation and if she isn’t, change it. I was able to change my flow at the drop of a dime.

19) Don’t be Afraid to Trust a Ho If it is Warranted

A lot of pimps will disagree with me on this one, for sure. But, I never had a ho take my money, or jewelry when she left. I know a bitch is capable of, and will do anything. So, don’t think I’m saying be stupid. But, don’t you leave your jewelry and paper around those hos when you sleep?

18) Try not to Let Any Bitch Come Between You and Your Pimp Friends

This is an important rule for the younger players to learn and stick to. I’ve still got most of my pimp friends I met in my first three years in the Game, unless they are dead, and in that case, may they Rest In Peace. I can’t say that about my hos. Can any pimp say that?

17) You Can’t Bleed Blood From a Turnip

If it’s not there, accept it and move on. Remember, the only thing you are going to bleed from a turnip, is a turnip juice.

16) When You Catch a New Ho, Check Her Out. Don’t Just Accept a Bitch

You don’t know what kind of hang-ups a new ho has. She could be a junkie, among other things. It’s always good to check and see what you can see early on.

15) Always Approach a Situation with Game. Keep the Game in Its Proper Perspective, and If it Don’t Work, Then…

Never go at a situation looking for the violent solution. It isn’t necessarily the way to handle it. I never carried a pistol in my entire 22 years in the streets. I never got shot at, either. I employed enough Game that I handled all of my problems with my conversation. I’m proud of that.

14) Be Diplomatic. Diplomacy is the Best Policy and Always the Best Choice

There isn’t any sense in one pimp killing another pimp over some ho shit. And we damn sure are not boxers. We are pimps – with plenty of conversation for occasions like that. But, if necessary, a pimp will get busy.

13) Learn How to Have More Than One Ho

It is a learned art to having hos, especially more than three. Most pimps don’t know how to do it without choosing a main one. I never designated a main ho, because I always pimped. The hos chose me and there is no way I am going to be forced to choose one of them. (Hos will not like that one.)

12) When You Checking Your Ho, You Better Keep Coming Up with Shit

Otherwise, be able to distract her mind from the shit you are checking her about. Keep bring up shit to keep her thoughts on what you are talking about, instead of tripping about what she’s thinking about a pimp kicking the shit out of her ass.

11) Be Sure Not to Pimp Past One Ho, Trying to Get at Another One

This mainly applies when you are down on a fresh ho. A lot of niggas take the pimping as a game. This shit is real. I saw a lot of pimps have a new broad in the car, the ho is paying attention to his every word and the fool starts fucking with some hos on the track. Catch the ho in the car, pimp. Then when her ass is on the track, you can fuck with all of the hos.

10) Don’t Be a Cream Puff, When You See Tears

Bitches are the best actresses in the world, especially hos. If they can play you with their tears, next they’ll choose another pimp on our weak ass.

9) Don’t be Afraid of Decisions You Have to Make

When you have a group of hoes, or are confronted with a decision, always have a point of view. If it’s with hos and your point of view might blow the bitch, fuck her. Go get another ho. That’s why one bitch is too close to none. Always try to stay deep with hos and make decisions early in Game and often. And never make them according to how many hos you have. Be committed to Game.

8) A Pimp Has to Remember to Pace His Conversation

Sometimes a pimp’s mind is going so fast thinking of his conversation he doesn’t realize he has left the broad behind. If you are down on a bitch, especially a turn out ho, you want her right up with you when you drop the bomb on her ass about the pimping.

7) A Pimp Must be Able to See Through Muddy Water in Order to Spot Dry Land

Sometimes, shit is extremely thick from problems your hos have. A Master Pimp has to see past all of the bullshit coming at him and spot the avenue out of the problem. And still get paid.

6) A Pimp Has to Remember What He Says to a Ho, Because the Ho Will Try to Use it Against You in the End

A Master Pimp must remember every promise he makes to his crew of hos. He must remember what his position on a subject is, and don’t change it for any ho. You shouldn’t ever say anything now that will trap you in the future. It takes a lot of work to be a Master.

5) Don’t be Overly Excited About Getting Your Paper From Your Ho

A Master Pimp has got to maintain his composure at all times. The sooner you realize your hos are supposed to pay you, the sooner they will accept it as their destiny. Don’t act grateful to your ho for paying you.

4) When You Don’t See Those Hos, Don’t Panic

I know, it feels damn good to ride by and see your crew of hos. But the bitches must get busy at some point, so they won’t be there just because you rode by. If they are, the hos are half-stepping about your paper. When you show up and the hos aren’t there, go shoot some pool or something and wait for those bitches to get back. But they better have some paper when they do show up.

3) A Pimp Has to Be Able to Make Sense Out of Nonsense

If a pimp can’t make sense out of something that has jumped off wrong, and make that shit right, he’s going to lose a lot of hos – because shit in the Game don’t always happen by the book. A Master Pimp has to be able to ad-lib at any time.

2) A Pimp Has Got to Be Able to Take in The Information at Hand

If a pimp doesn’t start learning from the beginning, he is in for a long, hard haul to the bottom of the heap. A real Master Pimp, or a potential Master, loves the challenge that "new thoughts" a new Game brings.

1) Be Cold

A Master Pimp must have the ability to be as cold as necessary. He must be able to go from being ice, to being an iceberg. – Expose yourself to external environment where you have to practice being unaffected by others and exterior events. Don’t give a fuck about the outcome.