The trouble with making high value friends
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  1. #1
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    Apr 2011
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    The trouble with making high value friends

    Lately I have been thinking about the friends I make and the type of friends that would help my game. As I have stated on this forum, I have left behind my social circle in NJ since I have moved to Ohio. I have now begun to make a couple of new friends in my new home.

    However, I have begun to see trend repeating itself. The people I seem to relate to do not usually have a lot of game/attractive qualities, and the people who do have attractive qualities are too busy with their current social life to hang with me or I have trouble connecting with them. It seems to be a catch 22 in developing a high value social circle.

    For instance, at my work place is friend who lives in his parents basement with little social life. He is 19 and was bit of an outcast in high school. However his experience reminds me of my struggles when I was young and I feel sorry for him (plus he is a video game geek like me). As result, it is easy for me to connect with him. Part of me also thinks I could be a good influence on him. While he is good company, he would not really add anything to my life that would make me attractive.

    On the other hand, I met someone at a board-game club who dresses well, seems very confident, is moving up in his job, and appears to have an enviable dating life. While he his friendly to me and we have hung out a couple of times, his life is busy with other people and things that are of greater value. It seems that he can only make so much time to hang with me. If I could spend more time with him, I think it would be a good influence on me and I would could develop a greater social circle. But like I said, he is very busy.

    What do you guys think?


  2. #2
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    Jan 2014
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    The trouble with making high value friends

    When you REALLY want something it shows in your body language. You may not be aware of this. People can tell if you have an agenda. When you have friends you get more with ease. When you have women around, you get more with ease. This is called social proof and preselection. In order to get to this point you need to have something of value to offer as trade for their value. It doesn't have to be material. It can just simply be the way you make them feel when your around. If you make people feel good when you are around then they will want you around. The way to make them feel good is that YOU must feel good first and that feeling will carry over in your conversations with people. If you are not already, I suggest you start lifting weights and doing cardio. For 15 minutes a day, close your eyes and practice visualizing the life you want. The money, friends, women, family, house, car, career, clothes, etc.... Attracting the friends you want will be easier if you can make yourself feel like you already have them. As you are visualizing your women and friends, talk to them. I mean, REALLY talk to them while you are visualizing. The more things you can do to make it real for yourself the greater impact it will have. Your brain cannot tell if you are talking to real people or imagined people and will support you either way. What I'm getting at here is to work on yourself. Make yourself the best YOU, you can be and people wont be able to resist your charisma. While you are working on all of that, a more immediate tactic is to get whomever you want to like you to do you a favor. People in sales and marketing know that if you can get someone to do you a favor then they will subconsciously like you more because they have invested some time and energy into you. Hope this helps.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    31
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    The trouble with making high value friends

    When you REALLY want something it shows in your body language. You may or may not be aware of this. People can tell if you have an agenda. When you have friends you get more with ease. When you have women around, you get more with ease. This is called social proof and preselection. In order to get to this point you need to have something of value to offer as trade for their value. It doesn't have to be material. It can just simply be the way you make them feel when your around. If you make people feel good when you are around then they will want you around. The way to make them feel good is that YOU must feel good first and that feeling will carry over in your conversations with people. If you are not already, I suggest you start lifting weights and doing cardio. For 15 minutes a day, close your eyes and practice visualizing the life you want. The money, friends, women, family, house, car, career, clothes, etc.... Attracting the friends you want will be easier if you can make yourself feel like you already have them. As you are visualizing your women and friends, talk to them. I mean, REALLY talk to them while you are visualizing. The more things you can do to make it real for yourself the greater impact it will have. Your brain cannot tell if you are talking to real people or imagined people and will support you either way. What I'm getting at here is to work on yourself. Make yourself the best YOU, you can be and people wont be able to resist your charisma. While you are working on all of that, a more immediate tactic is to get whomever you want to like you to do you a favor. People in sales and marketing know that if you can get someone to do you a favor then they will subconsciously like you more because they have invested some time and energy into you. Hope this helps.


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