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04-20-2013, 09:48 PM #1
I have really bad approach anxiety. I mean I'm a good looking guy but I get so scared to approach anybody. Anybody have any advice? I need to figure this shit out.
04-21-2013, 04:37 AM #2
Lol, approaching woman is the first huge barrier we need to confront, in order to start our journey as a PUA. In my first approach, i went to a shopping mall on a afternoon, as I wandered around for 2 hours before I started approaching... most of the PUAs started at the same level.
Approach tip1: Tell yourself, I will just approach, I don't care the outcome at all. As I do this, I am conquering my AA.
tip2: Start with quick, and short openers---they give less anxiety. I suggest you go out the streets and ask people for direction. Ask a girl on the street if she knows where the mac donald/ train station is at. After she tells you, if she seems very friendly, try to make your effort to make a conversation, try to stay as long as you can. If you can't, just eject the set, since your main goal right now is to conquer AA.
tip 3:People in general as nice to you! People may not be interested in talking to you at first,but they are nice. It's very rare that you'll bump onto a girl who tells you right away''can you leave?''.
tip 4: Given that you have an average look, you will have about 1/3 of the people that responds to you with some level of Indicators of Interest. In other words, 1 girl out of three will like you out of first impression!
tip 5: Ask for direction is not what a great PUA will do, in general. However, it's a good way to get started. After you open 30sets with where's the mac donalds, you will feel like you are using trickery. The solution here would be to have genuine curiosity in what you have to ask. You may ask a place that you don't know, or believe you really don't know where is the mac donalds.
04-22-2013, 02:06 AM #3
thanks for the advice dude. I'll give it a shot.
04-22-2013, 06:04 AM #4
most peoples AA comes from one of the following
1) Not believing in your material, not having fun with it, or fear that she will will see through your charade.
solution = have your own routine stack that is comprised of routines that legitimately represent who you REALLY are
2) You need a warm up ritual
the best tennis player, basketball players, ect.......in the world all warm up before they compete
this is no different!
Realize that you need to warm up mentally before going out. Get a ritual. For example, you could make your ritual something like
- first 3 sets dont count
- blow yourself out on purpose just so you never forget to NOT take this too seriously
3) Accept that you are not, nor will ever be perfect. Even the best of us get AA. Put aside your unrealistic expectations. Allow yourself to have fun and not be so tied to the outcome.
04-22-2013, 07:29 AM #5
Thank you sub-zero. As I have no routine stack as of yet. I will build in the future to practice. Thanks for your advice. Really appreciate it
04-22-2013, 03:36 PM #6
Research approach invitations and just approach when you see them. If you go on without approach invitations you are on a one way invite to getting pied -it's like "whats this guy doing here?".
I don't think I have had many TRUELY cold approaches, I look for the invitations, the smile, the eye contact. It will just flow eventually. It will get to the stage where it becomes so smooth, so practiced and rehearsed the invitation to open will be almost instantaneous and you can be k closing within seconds .
Thats why my friends get confused, I won't be bouncing around the club chatting up everyone, then within a matter of seconds at some random point in the night I will be on the kiss close. They will be like"How did that happen again!" and its because I accepted the invitation
04-22-2013, 03:55 PM #7
Thanks Grafter. Interesting to note. I'll be honest never thought about looking for approach invitations. I look into that as well. Thanks for the advice