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  1. #1

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?

    How would you feel if you discovered that the guy you were dating used principles of attraction (Venusian Arts) that he read in a book and practiced on many women to pick you up?

  2. #2

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?

    Bad, but then again, every one uses canned routines, some better than others, thats the difference.

  3. #3

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?

    Not good.

    It's a trust thing. It makes a person wonder if you were really being honest or if everything thats been coming out of your mouth is complete BS. It can also come across as insecure ("so you couldn't approach me by just being you?").

    I believe in honesty in a relationship but be careful of revealing too much too soon.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?

    Well it really depends on how you choose to look at it. Pick-up artists aren't players. Players are guys who manipulate women in order to get something from them. Most PUAs are genuinely great guys who, for whatever reason, never learned the basic social skills required to flirt and attract women into their lives. Some have been hurt badly in the past by other women, others simply lack the self confidence, and others still have spent their whole lives as "nice guys" only to find themselves perpetually in the friend-zone with girls they like.

    These are usually the kinds of guys who would actually be amazing boyfriends. They've spent so much time becoming interesting, well-rounded people, they've got decent careers and fantastic personalities, and they've learned how to treat and appreciate a woman. Neil Strauss once wrote that the kinds of guys that get into the game are exactly the kinds of guys that women wished they would meet, but are never attracted to when they do. And I can attest to this because I was one of those guys. Pick-up has just given the nice guys a bit of an edge over all the jerks that women are attracted to, but are never happy with.

    Instead of asking yourself how you should feel about him being a PUA, ask yourself: How does he make you feel? Does me make you happy? Is he kind and considerate or does he act like a macho asshole? Does he get jealous and insecure or is he trusting and confident?

    Now, people always use canned material when they talk about how pick-up is dishonest and manipulative. But, as it has been said before, everyone uses canned material. Have you ever told a joke you heard from someone else? You are using canned material. Have you ever used a line you heard from a movie to make someone laugh? You are using canned material. Have you ever told the same story more than once? You are using canned material. It's actually a totally normal and natural social process for people to tell a story and then, when telling it a second time, revising it slightly to make it sound more funny/interesting/exciting/dangerous/etc. People do this all the time without even thinking about it. Pick-up artists are just a little more mindful of this in order to help convey the best parts of their lives as early as possible when meeting someone new.

    Furthermore, what we teach only really covers the first 5-10 hours of you meeting each other. And even then, canned material is really only relevant in the first 5-20 minutes, and after that it's all about really getting to know each other and building a connection - which is the most important part anyway!

    We always try to explain to our students the importance of using their own stories once they've improved their body language and their voice. You have to convey your real personality and tell real stories from your life. You cant start a relationship with a woman who thinks you're a world-travelling rock star when in reality you've never left your home town and have never picked up an instrument. I mean, what's the point in putting all this work into improving yourself if the people who really like you only like the lies you've told them?

    Not every PUA is just out to bang a bunch of broads. And as mentioned before, what we teach only covers the the time between when you meet and when you first have sex. So if you're dating and starting a relationship, there's obviously something more to him than what we taught him.

    If you're really concerned, ask him to borrow and read The Game. And when you're reading it, ask yourself it's any worse than some of the things you've seen in Cosmo magazines with tagline like "15 things to drive him crazy in bed", or "5 ways to make sure he never looks at another woman", etc, etc. Or even better, check out the Relationships section of any bookstore and consider how many more books are geared towards women getting a man/boyfriend/husband/etc than there are for the other way around.

  5. #5

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?


    Prophet - I have to say, that is probably the best answer I've EVER read about explaining PUA stuff. I'm a woman and if it was explained to me like that I would be MUCH more comfortable with it.

    I still would suggest letting her get to know you a bit (so she knows the real you and is comfortable) before dropping the I used PUA material to pick you up.

    But when you do tell her, explain it the way Prophet did.

    Also, note that women appreciate a little vulnerability once youre in an established relationship. If you joined the PUA community to improve social skills because you were shy, tell her! Its also extremely attractive when a guy knows his weaknesses and is actually doing something to improve himself. It demonstrates a refreshing self awareness.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011

    How would you feel if you were dating a pick up artist?

    I'm upfront with women about it. I don't say I'm a PUA, but when they ask stuff like, "do you do this a lot?" I'll say, yes that I love meeting new people, especially women. Women know when you are using canned material, but they usually don't care because it makes them feel good and makes it easier for them to experience you without the regular "so what do you do" type bullshit

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