talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met
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  1. #1
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    okay..

    so i'm out this weekend and i had quite the epiphany.
    this is not just about pre-selection.
    it's more than that.




    ever since the pickup artist came on vh1, and ever since the book the game came out.

    every dude and their dog wants to be a pickup artist. or what they THINK a pickup artist is.. some super duper player boy.

    if i'm talking to a group of girls. and i'm not interested sexually. i'll say i have a gf. that i love . etc.. just to let them know that this is only a friendly interaction

    it's not a lie. the girl i'm with is AMAZING. hot as fuck. but i'm always interested in meeting new people. i always will be. not just to bang chicks.. but for business, fun, etc. there's plenty of other reasons to meet people other than to just fuck everyone.

    but i see more more and more and more and MORE guys out in the field. just trying to be soooo player-ish. and they'll talk like it's cool that they bang 5 girls that week.

    hey it's cool to do. but its not that cool to brag about .


    i don't see girls digging the player type anymore.
    not in my town at least.
    there are just too many guys like that,
    who will fuck anything to up their numbers.
    this has lost its attraction .
    i remember i used to get laid all the time because of my reputation.

    and man, as soon as word hit that vh1 had a show called the pickup artist and the book the game came out.
    shit changed.
    my reputation was no good anymore.
    girls thought i was a creep who used women.
    because a lot of the routines i was using were being used on the show!!

    anyway.. back to this story,
    last night i'm out with my buddy.
    i catch a girls eye as she walks past.
    her and her friend.
    they seemed like they were leaving.
    then they just plop down at the table by the front door and sit there
    i pay my tab.
    my buddy and i walk out.
    these two are still just sitting at the table.
    i resort to my stock opener, "hi, i'm diablo.. whats your name?"

    we all get to chatting. i'm not interested in them too much so i bring up my girl i'm "dating"

    i start talking soooo good about her. "she's loyal, smart funny.. great friend. etc"
    these two girls went from attracted.. to wildly attracted.

    why were there all the sudden soooooo attracted?
    both playing with their hair now. laughing at things i said that weren't funny.
    guys i was just being normal as shit.
    more normal than usual.
    but i brought up the dating topic. and now they are touching me when they laugh etc.
    lots of IOI's. .LOTS of them.

    anyway, i exchange numbers with them.
    tell them we are going to a little shindig, and to text me in a couple hours maybe we can all meet up at a bar.

    as we are leaving.. my buddy (who is newly single) asks, "those girls were pretty cute man... why did you bring up your gf?"

    me: "because i wasn't that interested"
    friend: "ya but dude. i was .. now i doubt they call us because you told them you have a gf."
    me: "i didn't say i 'have a gf,' . i said 'the girl i'm dating,' =-- big difference man."
    friend: "well don't bring that shit up again ok? for me."

    i hop in my car and drive us to the house party.
    but i'm in my head. ... thinking to myself... 'WHY.. why why.. did they become so attracted when i brought up the girl i date. i was even talking about how amazing she is.. logically, that should have made the girls think, "oh okay he's not single. he's not available." ..but instead, it seemed to make them even more attracted..."

    then it hit me.
    epiphany style.

    girls are not used to a guy talking so great about the girl he's seeing.

    this seems to be a rare quality these days.

    think about when most guys bring up their girl.. they are mostly bitching.. not praising her.

    by saying, "dating" instead of "my gf" ..you are saying you're semi-available.. maybe. ..that's how the girls perceive that phrase, "dating"

    so, naturally i want to leave this house party now. go to a bar. try this out some more.

    we leave.

    go to an irish pub.
    see a 4 set by the front door.
    my buddy and i sit at bar.
    we grab a beer.
    i'm waiting to make eye contact with one.
    we make eye contact. i wave.
    walk over, introduce myself.
    ask if they mind if my buddy and i join them for a beer real quick
    they say sure no prob.

    grab two chairs .one for me one for my friend.
    we pull them up.
    all introductions are made.
    i use a routine I've been using lately about a buddy getting married that i think his wife sucks.

    i forget how i brought it up. but somehow mentioned the girl i'm dating.
    talked her up.
    boom. happened again.
    instantly their attraction for me went up.
    all four girls.

    holy shit.

    i was talking about getting high later.
    one girl gives me her number and says to call when i get home after the bars to smoke together!
    i get another one of their numbers too, because she wanted to meet us at the next bar.

    and i've told them i'm dating someone. someone GREAT at that.....

    this is more than just preselection i think.. it's being preselected and really appreciating the girl. and verbalizing it. instead of hiding it like a player. or talking shit on your gf.

    so i'd say from now on, even if you aren't seeing anyone. just say that you are. and talk good about her.

    anyway. all girls texted me first. got three numbers and by midnight had received messages from all of them.

    although none of them were hotter than my girl right now. it was an extremely successful night and i learned a damn good lesson.

    NEVER EVER TALK SHIT ON THE GIRL YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH.


  2. #2
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Be carefull when you talk about girls you are romantically involved with because many times guy's talk about it in such a way they're seeking social validation. They lower their value by coming across as seeking peer approval for their love life. It's better to not talk at all about the girls you sleep with socially because people who are going to sleep with you don't care or want to know about the people you slept with before them.

    A good rule of thumb is don't kiss and tell it's a rule that smart people always apply. Love like war give's more advantages to the men who don't give up to much information. The less women know about other girls you like the better off you'll be..

    The Wild One


  3. #3
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    thoughts

    Attraction is not logical. By bringing up your girlfriend you pushed the preselection button. This increased your attractiveness. End of story.

    I had PUA material delivered to work (so I wouldn't have to have it sitting at the door at home). One of the secretaries opened the pacakage, and you could tell that she thought it was pathetic from comments I overheard her say. (I was mortified at the time.) Still, what's done is done. She was married and CUTE, so I figured I'd use her to test material since she was "safe". She responded more strongly than most women. I'd practice routines figuring I had nothing to lose since she wouldn't date me in a 100 years. I started getting tons of IOI's like hair touching, head-cocked smiles, flirting, etc. This is from a woman who is married, with a child, who knows that I've learned some PUA stuff.

    Women LOVE players. That's the reason they're known as players. What women don't like is posers who act like players or man-whores. If your area is saturated with "Strawberry fields" and "The Cube", its time to change your material. The basics are still valid, and delivery is key.

    I like Mystery's analogy between the Martial arts and the Venusian arts. In the 70's it seemed like every guy was into the martial arts. Different styles were debated, and the bar was raised a LITTLE on how well the average guy fought, but the guys who stuck with it could still kick ass.

    One of my favorite 'routines' (if we still use that term) is: "Your name is ??? One of my favorite girlfriends was named . [Distant look/goofy grin] She was bat-shit crazy... Fun to hang out with though. [grin again and look away] __ {stack forward}

    As David DeAngelo points out, attraction is not a choice.


  4. #4
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    *update*

    okay, the first girls from the story. we all just got back from a long lake trip.

    my girl that i really like had to go be with her family in a different state, so i invited the first crew of girls i met.

    they were both cute. hb7 & hb8 (hb9 when she's all dolled up).
    i text the one's number i had,

    Me (text msg): "it's about that time.."
    her (text msg): "ha ha for what..?"
    me: "time to go to paradise"
    her: "oh really? paradise? where is paradise here?"
    me: "(i tell her the location)"
    her: "it sure is! i've never been though. have fun!"
    me: "no no.. don't you get it?"
    her: "get what"
    me: "this is your last chance"
    her: "my last chance?"
    me: "to come to paradise today"
    me: "SO GET YOUR SHIT READY"
    her: "omg lol. are you serious?"
    me: "100% get ready and come over."
    her: "wait.. what about your gf?"
    me: "she had to go outta town with her fam "
    her: "she wont get mad?"
    me: "she knows i'm a good boy.. plus, what are you thinking? you and i are just friends."
    her: "hahaha aaaaaOKAY then, can i bring hb7 from the bar that you met us at?"
    me: "of course. love her."
    her: "haha this is awesome. okay, i'll call you in 30 minutes. where do you live?"

    i text her my address
    tell her to "iphone it"


    i need to note that i didn't take these girls to "paradise" lol..
    we went to a lake.

    my friends were going down there. so i had a party to meet up with.
    nothing big. nothing impressive really either.
    but i know id make it a ton of fun for these two girls i had just met.


    she calls, "where are we gonna stay?"
    me, "don't worry! i'll have a bed for each of us."
    her, "okay cool, we are on our way to your house."

    this works out great.
    turns out the plans they had, were cancelled by the people that invited them.
    so we were all in luck.


    i also tried to invite the other group of girls (from the irish pub)
    they were already out of town but were texting me pics the whole weekend.


    the weekend i had with hb7 and hb8 was soooooo fun.
    lake party all weekend.
    just got back actually. setting up a set for this upcoming music-gig i have while writing this.

    i wont go into details. i didn't hookup with the girls.
    i plan on introducing them to my girl actually.
    guys, the girl i'm with is soooo fucking hot. and i'm not willing to downgrade by any means.

    by hooking up with a lesser attractive woman- when my girl finds out.. she will feel devastated.
    she'll feel bad that i resorted to such an ugly girl.
    she'd feel bad if i hook up with a total smoking hottie, but at least it's an upgrade.

    anyway, i hooked hb7 up with my friend who hasn't been laid in years.
    and hb8 didn't like my friend i tried to hook her up with,
    but her and i stayed up late both nights talking about life, love, attraction, beauty. it was great.
    i have a new best friend.

    my goal when i got into this game in 2003- was to FUCK AS MANY GIRLS AS I COULD FIND.

    that's definitely something you grow out of in 9 years.
    i use my knowledge of meeting people to also build life-long connections with people who can add value to my life.

    and of course.. if anything were to go wrong with me and my girl, i always have a girl on the backburner to "take care of me" .

    i must add.. that during a drunken chat with hb8, at the end of the night. she tried to kiss me.
    i told her no.
    i politely declined her advances.

    ultimately, making her more attracted to me.
    but at this point, i'm a mature man. i'm not into this to get more notches on my belt anymore.

    i've already gone thru a few belts.


  5. #5
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wild One View Post
    Be carefull when you talk about girls you are romantically involved with because many times guy's talk about it in such a way they're seeking social validation. They lower their value by coming across as seeking peer approval for their love life. It's better to not talk at all about the girls you sleep with socially because people who are going to sleep with you don't care or want to know about the people you slept with before them.

    A good rule of thumb is don't kiss and tell it's a rule that smart people always apply. Love like war give's more advantages to the men who don't give up to much information. The less women know about other girls you like the better off you'll be..

    The Wild One
    i get what you mean here. makes perfect since too. thank you for the words of caution. there's a fine line between flattery and sincerity.

    this topic came up because i asked the girls if they were single.
    they both were.
    i told them "i'm single, but currently unavailable."

    we got into a talk about what that means exactly.

    they asked about my girl. i asked about guys they were seeing because, as i put it, "no two girls as pretty as you are, have no men in their lives."

    they cracked up. because its true, they both had guys. but "nothing to brag about." as they put it.

    i'm very satisfied with my girl right now. but i can never have too many friends.

    so in my situation talking about who i'm sleeping with is completely appropriate.


  6. #6
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Quote Originally Posted by Nels View Post
    Women LOVE players. That's the reason they're known as players. What women don't like is posers who act like players or man-whores.

    i have to slightly disagree with this.
    just slightly. because yes, a lot of women LOVE players.
    but in my experience...

    high value women despise the player type that are the "posers" you refer to.
    the lesser value women will fall for them.

    but the true high value women want a player who has maximum self control.

    i'd say, they want a man who is completely capable of being a player. but who doesn't abuse his power.

    i'm friends with some very high value women, hb9's that are CEO's . hb8's that are attorney's at law. another hb9 who is a surgeon.

    all of these women have one thing in common- they hate the guy who sleeps with evvvvveryone.

    they want an honest man. who has the ability to sleep with everyone- but doesn't. because he has self control.
    a guy who has women throwing themselves at him. and he says "no" much more often than he says, "yes"


    we on the same page?


  7. #7
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Quote Originally Posted by diablo View Post
    they cracked up. because its true, they both had guys. but "nothing to brag about." as they put it.

    i'm very satisfied with my girl right now. but i can never have too many friends.

    so in my situation talking about who i'm sleeping with is completely appropriate.
    Yeah I'm not familiar with the context that started the conversation but as you wrote it I can't help but think it seems like you kissed their butt's a little to much. Girl's are pretty but you shouldn't respond to that as if it's anything interesting intially. Not until a girl seeks your validation for her looks should you acknowledge where you hold her value physically.

    The conversation seems like you wanted to seek out validation by guaging their response to typical questions relating to their love lives. The girls probably intrepreted in that way but like I said I dunno the context of how the conversation went down so I may be wrong. Generally I'm not...

    The Wild One


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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wild One View Post
    Yeah I'm not familiar with the context that started the conversation but as you wrote it I can't help but think it seems like you kissed their butt's a little to much. Girl's are pretty but you shouldn't respond to that as if it's anything interesting intially. Not until a girl seeks your validation for her looks should you acknowledge where you hold her value physically.

    The conversation seems like you wanted to seek out validation by guaging their response to typical questions relating to their love lives. The girls probably intrepreted in that way but like I said I dunno the context of how the conversation went down so I may be wrong. Generally I'm not...

    The Wild One

    lol dude..

    how am i seeking validation by asking if they are single or not?

    you're talking like i acted like this low value dude.
    if that's true-
    i doubt they would have came to the lake with me all weekend.


  9. #9
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Asking a girl if they have a boyfriend or not is a low value afc question to ask... It seems like your trying to get them to flirt with you inspite of having boyfriends. Just seems like you're trying a bit to hard to get these girls validation. At least you learned some lessons on what not to do..

    The Wild One


  10. #10
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    talking about the girl you are dating to girls you just met

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wild One View Post
    Asking a girl if they have a boyfriend or not is a low value afc question to ask... It seems like your trying to get them to flirt with you inspite of having boyfriends. Just seems like you're trying a bit to hard to get these girls validation. At least you learned some lessons on what not to do..

    The Wild One
    i can see how you would think that about the interaction.

    and think about it like this, we were already flirting.. and during our flirting and kino, i was curious so i asked about one girl's love life. she responded, then the other started talking about her own relationships.

    at that point i didn't want/need their validation, so it did not come across like that. trust me lol, i've been in that stage of life where i want/need validation, the night i met these women i was not wanting or needing any validation. i had just got laid that morning. it was only dinner time when i met them ha ha.

    there was and still is genuine attraction between me and both of these girls- although, i choose to not hook up with them. a high value man says no more often than he says yes. same goes for women.

    i'm not sure what lesson i learned here about what not to do..? would it be the lesson of being infinitely curious about other human beings? the lesson of attracting a gorgeous woman, choosing that i do not want to sleep with her, befriending her and her beautiful friend, her texting me- then we all spend a weekend half naked at the lake and have plans for this friday as of right now. .....?

    i'm curious to know WildOne, now that you know the outcome of my initial interaction with these two women .. in your opinion, what went wrong here?

    what advice would you give me to be better? what would you have done in this situation? not invited them to the lake all weekend.....?


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