Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    27
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker

    I just crashed and burned with a girl today who, again, simply sees me a good friend. Long story-short, she makes a comment about my confidence. She says things like I lower my head and dont talk much in groups. She says that it shows that Im not being confident in that situation.

    It burns me because she is not the first one to say that and, it burns me because its seems to make everything else irrelevant.

    Im a lawyer. I just finished Law School and Im taking the bar exam in september. And Im not some average law student. Im in the Law Review and an article I wrote will be published. I participated in an international client consultation competition where my team reached the 9th place against 24 countries. I worked at the Legal Clinic where I received accolades for my work and I helped a lot of people. Finally, Ill be graduating with a pretty decent GPA.

    Everyone that knows me will say that not only Im a great guy, but that Im smart and have a bright future ahead.

    And Im not just some geek that is business only. I party, I drink, I joke around...ect.

    Heck, some people say I have a good looking face.

    She knows ALL of this. But wont see me as a option. It seems that my supposed lack of confidence is a deal breaker. Nothing I do or accomplish seems to matter. Im just this nice guy to be friends with.

    I seems I need to be perfect to get any girls attention. To be a man of high value. And its just frustrating.

    And Im tired...Im so, so, tired. Im 26, never had a serious relationship.

    I just want this not being considered an option to end. I just dont want one single thing to be what defines whether Im worthy of being someones boyfriend.

    I dont even have crazy sexual fantasies. When guys get together and talk about crazy sexual fantasy stuff I cannot relate. My biggest fantasy, and what I dream about regarding women, is just lying in bed, watching tv with her head on my chest. Nothing turns me on more. Maybe Im just abnormal. I really dont know.

    Sorry for the rant. I had to get this off my chest.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    104
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker

    Your only real problem is anxiety. The other two, body language and quietness in group settings, are easy fixes.

    Focus on all the good things that will be coming into your life; you're 26 with your life ahead of you, you'll soon be an attorney, you're learning dating skills that other men have no clue about, and much more.

    Confidence will come incrementally with the passage of time—with each small success in every area of life; career, health, dating, etc. And don't neglect your spiritual/religious formation either; this is so often overlooked.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    2,227
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker

    You need to work on attribute's that you seem to be missing in your game. It appear's you're smart but lack the ability to be a powerful confident person. Even listening to a woman sit around and tell you or give you reasons why you're not up to par to be her love interest show's you need to find your ball's a bit.

    It seem's to me your suffering from allot of bull sh*t conditioning guy's get when they listen to women to much. The truth is the more you understand women the easier it is to tune them out when they're talking about nonsense which they do more than they make any logical point. Don't give a damn so much what they think and just be a man.

    You need a little violence in your life my friend. I can tell you're a guy who's probably never been in a fight. Not a risk taker. You're the stereotypical attractive male we see in marketing today but truth be told women don't give a damn about that guy. Honestly girl's want a man who exudes power! They like the 6'5 body builder with a shaved head. They want the guy with charisma, money, and the physical ability to knock any guy's head in he wants.

    This supplicating dribble baby boy stuff or looking down just make's you look weak. Asking why she doesn't like you makes you look weak. Caring to much make's you look weak. You need to join a MMA club, learn how to build a car engine, and start acting more like a man to fix this problem.

    The Wild One

    P.S. Girls don't like dating girls. So act like a man! http://<iframe class="restrain" titl...="0"></iframe>


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    156
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker

    Quote Originally Posted by Boricuapapi View Post
    I just crashed and burned with a girl today who, again, simply sees me a good friend. Long story-short, she makes a comment about my confidence. She says things like I lower my head and dont talk much in groups. She says that it shows that Im not being confident in that situation.

    It burns me because she is not the first one to say that and, it burns me because its seems to make everything else irrelevant.
    Looks like you're in the friend-zone!

    She knows ALL of this. But wont see me as a option. It seems that my supposed lack of confidence is a deal breaker. Nothing I do or accomplish seems to matter. Im just this nice guy to be friends with.
    Funny how her tune will change when she sees you running pre-selection game and Jealousy plotlines.

    Last time I ran pre-selection game with full jealousy plotlines, a girl that friend-zoned me for 6 years was there. By the end of the night, I had her mostly naked in the parking lot.

    She kept saying things like "What the hell? who are you? you're so different"

    it happens...

    I seems I need to be perfect to get any girls attention. To be a man of high value. And its just frustrating.

    And Im tired...Im so, so, tired. Im 26, never had a serious relationship.

    I just want this not being considered an option to end. I just dont want one single thing to be what defines whether Im worthy of being someones boyfriend.

    I dont even have crazy sexual fantasies. When guys get together and talk about crazy sexual fantasy stuff I cannot relate. My biggest fantasy, and what I dream about regarding women, is just lying in bed, watching tv with her head on my chest. Nothing turns me on more. Maybe Im just abnormal. I really dont know.

    Sorry for the rant. I had to get this off my chest.
    I'm the same way, dude. I'll trade a night out for a night in with my girl, curled up against me, watching a movie. To me that's happiness.


    But to answer your frustrations. Throw a wrench in the works. Make her attracted (hit the pre-selection switch.. and hit it HARD).. then run a jealousy plotline.

    Your skill level may not be up to par to do this yet. In that case, I would put her on the backburner for around 6 months or so... until you *CAN* get it up to par. Then ask out 12 of your favorite girls you just met during the week all at once, introduce them to each other, and watch the sparks fly.

    The chance of you getting laid is 100% in that scenario. I like those odds.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Im tired that one thing is the deal breaker

    Bpapi,
    I think you're worrying too much. You're only 26. Focus on your career, man! Why waste all your energy with that one girl, when you could get 100s more after you graduate? Take the lessons learned, be more tenacious, keep your chin up, and speak with confidence, conviction, and clarity. Nothing turns off a girl more than guys that are too loud, too alpha, speak too much, and have nothing humorous to say. It's better to speak less, and not at all, than to speak all the time with nothing much to say. I disagree with the MMA analogy above, but there are women for every kind of personality a man has.

    I'm hard-of-hearing, speak with a nasal resonance, and shy. I tend to keep to myself and sit in a cubicle in the back of the building away from most of the other people. Yet, I've had 2 beautiful and fit women after me. One was married! I was close to filing a complaint against one for being so aggressive in pursuing me. My superiors, admittingly envious, laughed it off saying I should "screw her brains out so she would stop". I valued my career more than that, and she was affecting my work duties. Being shy also attracts the shy girls and the ones with the most interesting personalities.

    To be honest, I don't really see the value of PUA. The only reason why people think it tends to work is because you are just going up to more girls than you would had you not learned the art.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Register