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Thread: A Lack of Personality
03-01-2012, 09:03 PM #1
A Lack of Personality
Okay studying the MM has made me able to pinpoint why I have failed in the past down to just my personality flaws. I have a naturally cocky/funny/sarcastic personality when im feeling good. Ive found my main flaw is, not being interesting & talkative (in MM terms=A2 DHV routines etc).
Ive looked back and noticed that nearly every single girl ive ever hooked up with, there has always been a wing with me. Every time either at school, party whatever that ive gotten a girl. My buddy/buddies were the ones leading the convo's from start to finish. They were the ones telling the girls their stories. I would just be the guy who would either get accomplishment intro'd and then pipe into the convo every now and then with some cocky/funny little soundbites. At this point some girls would just get attracted to my cockyness or they'd be drunk by now, Id perform some kino and then fools mate it to a full monty (completely skipping comfort, and pretty much leeching off someone elses Attraction stage). This is the story of my life.
Now I just started PU, so ive been oblivious too this sticking point until now. I have friends that say to me, like "bro Mike just got another kill, you could get more than him if you wanted". And Mike being my friend, ive noticed he never shuts up, hes always telling stories of himself and his friends. Usually there boring and drag on but clearly it works.
About a month ago (pre PU) I went on a date with a girl and got her all the way to C3. She invited me into her place at 2am, I could have gone further but wasnt in the headspace. Once again I was with a buddy when we met her. My buddy was the centre of attention, telling stories, being interesting. I would pipe in occasionally with some cocky/funny little jokes/one sentence remarks and she got attracted to me. If my buddy had not been there I would have just said hi, maybe some AFC question, where you work, blah blah and then the convo would have gone stale in 30 seconds.
I think it stems from childhood, im 20 now and from ages 10-16. Outside of school, I hung out with no friends and my parents were in 6 years of "about to be divorced" stages and neither of them talked to me at all. My dad in particular, was so anti-social towards me he literally would say absolutely nothing to me in terms of convo. And when I tried to tell him about my day at school or something interesting that happened that day. He would either ignore, say thats stupid or just walk away into another room as if he never heard me. My personality kind of formed around this and I think this is a reason why im not interesting and blank out after saying Hi. I feel what I have to say will not be interesting and they wont want to listen and they'll just walk away. So I play it safe and always eject after, what in PU, would be an opener.
This turned out longer than I thought but basically I need help on being interesting & talkative. How to keep a convo going past an opener. How to engage a person and convey higher value through interesting stories and DHVs that last longer than 30 seconds. When Ive tried to to tell my own stories in the past. I find I have this "play it safe mentality" where I compress the stories to about 30 seconds because I feel they wont find it interesting and will get bored or leave if its longer than that. This way the story conveys no emotion and its like bulleted points and just sucks. Its like my brain doesnt know how to socialize and communicate for longer than 30 seconds whils't being interesting, without drawing blanks. Im so uninteresting and never tell stories. I just leech off friends stories and pipe in with something funny every now and then. I need to get over this and change my personality around it. Ive got some work to do...
ps This may be too much for a forum post but I just needed to write this down somewhere.