I can't build attraction. Any advice?
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Hey guys,

    for those who haven't read my other posts, here is the deal:

    I'm pretty open and like to socialize. I don't have much AA, but I suck at building attraction. And here I need your help.

    Before I went out yesterday, I re-read the chapter "attraction" in Magic Bullets and made some notes to stick to. I wanted to concentrate only on attraction and "master" it, before I go to the next steps. But after reading the whole chapter I was still thinking "HOW do I do it?". My "life" only started last year, before that I was a major AFC, overweight, unemployed and sitting at home all day, watching movies and sitting in front of the computer.

    So, as you can imagine, I don't have much good (DHVing) to tell about my life before last year. And then last year, when I finally got my shit together I started a relationship (which is ended now) and mostly concentrated on my girl. So there was still not much cool stuff I could use to talk about (Except a lot of Sex, which I am not going to talk about as a DHV to another girl ).

    So, It's hard for me to create a DHV-Story, at least without lying and totally inventing some stories, which I'm not comfortable with.

    I try the other stuff, especially the "being alpha" part. I watch my bodylanguage, eye contact, I try to talk loud and slowly. I always keep my cool etc.
    But that is obviously not enough.

    Of course, now some of you will say "get some cool stuff going on", but it's not that easy. Money is an issue at this time. I went back to school, to get my qualification for college and I will start majoring in psychology (hopefully) next year after the summer. Since I am getting government aid for going to school, I am only allowed to earn little money, otherwise the government aid will be reduced. So I only have a part time job (not much to DHV there).

    I just became member at the gym, so at least I am going to work out 3 times a week. I also booked introductary dance lessons (starting in november), But that's it. I go to evening school (where I have a very high status) and go out practically every weekend, mostly to train my pickup skills (and of course have fun).

    So, any advice for me, how to build attraction, how to DHV, without spending too much money and without lying my teeth off? Or just how to get cool stuff going on without needing money?

    I use my free time mostly to study for school and reading about self development, pickup etc. I think I still have inner game issues, which I'm working on.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    39
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Well, remember that ambition is just as attractive as success.
    Girls like guys with ambition just as much as they like guys with success, use that to your advantage.

    U mentioned having a girlfriend, perhaps u could do something with this:


    You could turn this vid into one of your DHV's and you've must have had a fight at least once.. so it won't be lying at all.

    This should get you started, let me know how it works for you.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by sepp View Post
    Well, remember that ambition is just as attractive as success. Girls like guys with ambition just as much as they like guys with success, use that to your advantage.
    Ok. Can you help me to frame it right? Key points: Only working 40 hours a month, going to evening school , starting college next year. Oh, btw, I am already 28 now.

    Quote Originally Posted by sepp View Post
    U mentioned having a girlfriend, perhaps u could do something with this:
    I like the idea. But is talking like that about girls a DHV? I mean, it's funny, n question. But as a DHV?


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    39
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Madrox View Post
    I like the idea. But is talking like that about girls a DHV? I mean, it's funny, n question. But as a DHV?
    well, it shows that you are preselected. I'm going to try this as a DHV myself I'll let you know how it worked out.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    17
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    IMO attraction has alot to do with body-language, voice tone, eye contact, look.

    You can have the best DHV story in the world, but is the way you communicate it isn't attractive, it's not going to work.


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    213
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    you don't need money for attraction, your thinking of it the wrong way.

    attraction comes from value, but value can come from anywhere.. like congruence, balls, humor, social intelligence.. etc.

    if you wanna build attraction have fun... being the source of fun = the best DHV..


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by InfluenceGenius View Post
    IMO attraction has alot to do with body-language, voice tone, eye contact, look.
    True. I think my body-language is good, but voice and eye contact need improvement, but I'm already working on it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Ceciro View Post
    Basically, no matter who you are, you HAVE a story to tell. And that in itself, the WAY you tell it will suck people into your show, the Madrox Show
    That was a great post and you're right. I guess I already knew some of that, that's why I always trying to work on my self-development, on my inner-game. Maybe I want things to much too fast. I have to give it time, it's a process ...

    Thanks you for you post, you made me realize why I need to focus more on myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by VerbalIntercourse View Post
    if you wanna build attraction have fun... being the source of fun = the best DHV..
    Well, I think that is too easy. There a lots of guys who are fun and even are the source of fun, but they don't get laid. And I always make the people around me laugh, so I don't think humor is my problem. AND, humor can destroy sexual tension which means it kills attraction.


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    213
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    humor DOES NOT kill sexual tension.. being stupid, yes, but humor.. No.

    if your making everyone laugh ur already high value..

    nobody laughs at low value people's jokes.. they always get the 0_o face..


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,366
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    I can't build attraction. Any advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Red Ceciro View Post
    Everyone here is on point: Genius is right, it's not what you do and say, it's how you say and do it.



    Sepp also gave some good advice on being ambitious, that's definitely a turn on.


    So, you are 28 and you're going back to school. Alright. The first thing you need to realize is that like Sepp and Genius has stated, you want to show that you're ambitious, and combine that with what you've done or WHERE you are about to go.

    Think of it like a REALITY SHOW. Think about it, in reality shows, they protray people as certain "characters."

    So, why are people scheduling their lives around all these horrifyingly addictive programs? After some thought, I realized that people watch reality shows for three main reasons:

    -Relatability
    -Education
    -Entertainment



    And where does this relation, education and entertainment come from?

    It comes from the show’s characters.

    It doesn’t matter how great or terrible a show may be, if it has a character you’re (even vaguely) drawn or attracted to, you can bet you’re ass you’re going to stop and watch . . . at least for a little while.

    Think about it. Every reality show always has the same characters every season. Sure, the names and faces are changed up, their complexion and gender may vary a little, but , ultimately, they’re the same.

    Look at the cast of “The Real World” from MTV:

    There’s always that one “minority” character who feels he’s being disrespected or “dissed” by the other roommates in the house. Then there’s the gay/bi/transgender character that feels he needs to “come out” to his loved ones before the show airs and his family (along with the rest of the world) sees how much gay sex he’s been having. OH, and I almost forgot about the token self-absorbed character with a history of depression and substance abuse, whose main purpose is to be completely unreasonable, belligerent and self-destructive—always on the verge of harming himself and everyone around him. Like I said, new season, same characters.

    Not unlike a typical Real World caricature, once upon a time, I, too, stumbled into a dark period in my life. One night, after a bad breakup, I found myself urinating inside of a church sanctuary, then fighting my friends for trying to stop me, THEN going ballistic at a cop for interfering. And you know what? My friends thought I was a total BADASS! It didn’t take long for word of my badassness to quickly spread, bringing on a certain level of respect, or “street cred” throughout the greater tri-state area. Can you believe that? Respect for pissing in a church. Kids these days. It’s like a constant competition with one another for who can do the dumbest shit. Nevertheless, this was—at least for a moment in time—my character, and, say what you will, that particular episode was worthy of DVR.

    Believe me, those days are over for me. Today I spend less time micturating holy places of worship, and more time honing my skills as an amateur chef.

    What can I say, I love food? It tastes great, as well as keeps me from ever turning into Mary Kate Olsen. So, it’s no surprise I’m addicted to watching the Food Network channel. Back in the day there was one particular chef who rose up to become the undisputed champion of Food Network, and that man’s name is Emeril Lagasse.

    Emeril was best known for yelling “BAM!” betimes during the coarse of preparing a meal—like some kind of overzealous Tourette’s patient.

    On special occasions, when lots of people would be around , I’d prepare meals that would have my neighbor’s Boston terrier slobbering through his teeth at the savoury aromas secreting from the cracks of my windows. I picked up some fancy slicing and dicing techniques from Chef Lagassi, and dammit did I milk it hard when women were in the kitchen. Men, take note, women love a guy with the ability to prepare a mean meal. Whenever I threw a party, there would always be an ocean of cuties checking me out, observing how I handled myself in the kitchen. Fuck the gym, give me a frying pan and a stick of butter and it’s game over—because dinner always ended with dessert *wink wink*.

    Anyway, what I’m saying is, for every show there’s a fan base, a niche market being targeted. The characters of these reality shows— the ones getting into trouble, cooking delicious meals, and traveling the world exploring new exotic lands—are all have starring roles in the worlds they live in. As I just demonstrated, I’ve been the kid who got into trouble, the chef who cooks delicious meals, and the guy who has traveled all over the world, and even though I may not have always had a camera following me around, I’ve always had a audience. Through the course of just living my life, I’ve managed to attract a unique fan base that is mine, and mine alone. Keep in mind, I’m not talking about people clamming for my autograph, necessarily, but more like friendships being forged simply because of the life I have made for myself. Merely, people who got sucked into my world because I was able to somehow educate, entertain or relate to them.

    What I’m saying is, we watch these reality shows, right? Why can’t we be our own reality show? IF we as viewers can relate to the people on the screen, then shouldn’t the opposite also be true? Relatability goes both ways, no?

    The ability to pin down your character and harnessing who exactly it is you are, alone, will automatically implement the gift of “love” into people’s lives. Providing entertainment, making someone smile, and teaching them things they didn’t already know, these are all attributes of friendships. By figuring out and honing down on your character, people will have no choice but to be sucked into your world, your reality show. But before you’re able to do that, you, first and foremost, must understand Character?


    Basically, no matter who you are, you HAVE a story to tell. And that in itself, the WAY you tell it will suck people into your show, the Madrox Show
    I think this is a pretty inspirational post. Building attraction starts way before you open a set. I'm also feeling very inclined to prepare a savory dish! I'm wondering if what they say about oysters is true.. God speed.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Register