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  1. #11

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    Hey hustle! I too have problems with AA, and going out alone.
    What I find mostly though is I have to get into that spot... in my own world, where I feel comfortable... Where I take some steps and its like I'm walking into MY venue. You know, being in state. After I'm in a talkative and "flowing" state I find it really easy to open and convey a fun and interesting vibe. The problem is getting there.

    What I found is something very similar to your Situational - Opinion stacking. I'll open with a functional opener, and then transition into a "Me and my bud are having a debate". What I find really helps is a false time constraint between openers. I recently wrote a post on this very subject, and I'd love to hear your thoughts

  2. #12

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    Thanks Joe.

    I do understand how the Game is played. I have used MM within my social circle for years, but have never stepped outside of my comfort zone and done cold approaches, club game etc.

    I have too much knowledge floating around in my mellon and not enough real-world application - especially in areas I am weak in. And NOW is the time in my life that I am ready to look my "dragons" in the eye (an analogy from another thread with Mystery) and do major battle. I am not trying to blow you off, brother man, I am just saying the time of my education is over. Now is the time to put up or shut up and apply. (For the younger viewers at home, I am referring to the learning cycle of: education-application-education-application-education........).

    I understand about situational openers, stacking, FTC, etc etc etc. A man may "understand" everything there is to know about swimming while standing on the side of the pool, but push him in and he may very well drown. Having the understanding of Game and being able to perform Game are two different animals. "This is a performance art" - Mystery.

    The other thing I have heard Mystery say a lot these days is calling clubs "Dojos." I love this analogy (because I teach MMA). Going to a club is synonymous with having fights. There are plenty of men out there who THINK they are great fighters, but have never tested their skill. The only way to truly be a great fighter is to fight - A LOT. The only way to be a great PUA is to get in the ring and fight - A LOT. I am sick of learning about Game and theory, etc and am ready to fight. So, tonight, me and one of my new wings make our first journey into the Dojo. Its time to put up or shut up. Its time to throw down.

    I started this thread because I see many other people have trouble with AA as well and I am looking to help out my bros any way I can. If you can walk in a club, Joe, and run Game....then by all means enlighten a brother. If you are espousing knowledge and can't swim....then thats just not where I am at right now.

  3. #13

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    Mystery, that was simply spectacular.

  4. #14

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    great way to practice in baby steps for sure..

    but.. and idk if you agree with this.. but I like the concept..

    I watched this YouTube video with this guy talking about abs and weight loss.. etc.

    he said in one part of the video "if you make a realistic goal like lose 10 pounds you will have less motivation.. it might actually turn out where you only lose 5 because your goal was so low.. but if your goal is to lose 50 pounds and even if you don't achieve that you are way more likely to lose that 10 probably even 25.. but if your goal is 10.. you will never lose 25.. make sense??"

    so instead of setting small goals while approaching.. and in result getting small results... take those long leaps.. and set an unrealistic goal.. because even if you don't achieve it.. you will have progressed further then if you just go by baby steps..

    I personally love this concept!

  5. #15

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    Yes. I agree. There are times to make small, managable jumps (Not-training-to-failure) and there are times to put it all out there (training-to-failure). Its like jumping in a swimming pool. Some people ease in to the shallow end and others do one big jump into the deep end.

    I have always been a jump-in-the-deep-end kind of guy and still am. But, with AA, for some reason, I am easing in????

    I think the important thing is: I get over it however I get over it. What matters is THAT I get over it - not how or when.

  6. #16

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    true true.. but keep in mind.. you can't ever completely get over AA.. so it would be more useful to accept that and barrel through it.. by logically telling yourself "nobody is going to kill me" and "I will still have a chance to get some pussy somewhere else"

  7. #17

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    I am contemplating this idea of "No one gets over AA." I am not sure I believe that. Or said differently: I am not sure I am willing to accept that proposition on blind faith.

    When I was a kid I feared being in deep water. When I was in water over my head, I was never more than an arm's reach away from the wall of the pool. Then, one summer, I learned to swim. Now, I have no fear deep water and, in fact, love to swim laps. This is just one example. I have heard other PUAs say it does go away....???? Who knows? I'll know when I get there, right?

    Its funny you said that, Instinct. A buddy of mine, who has studied MM very briefly and has roughly the same Tactical skill set as I do, once reframed it for me like this "Just think of it this way......'I can kill every single person in the room!'" To the layperson, I am sure that sounds very morbid and appalling, but it made me bust up laughing and now I think about it all the time when I enter into a new venue. I can't help smiling ear-to-ear when I walk in the room.

  8. #18

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    your right.. who knows..

    thats not a bad way of looking at it.. its weird haha but funny..

  9. #19

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety

    Hi Hustle,

    Everyone gets AA or nervous when walking up to a very attractive women. I've never known a rational cure for AA.

    As I stated in another thread, you will be anxious around a women because you perceive them as higher value than you. You have to focus on the good qualities about yourself and realize you are worthy and deserving of everything good in life and the only thing that is stoping you getting what you want is you.

    You have many, many good qualities about you and have a personality worth knowing. Identity is important, you are a strong and decisive man and don't care what others think or say about you since you've got no time to waste and you place value in your time and energy.

    You have to go for it and stay in the moment, remember to improve your self esteem and focus on having a good time, baring in mind the MM structure.

    I'm sure you realise everyone makes mistakes and mistakes happen so we can overcome obstacles and grow stronger and wiser from it.

    I hope this helps and good luck with overcoming your AA.

  10. #20

    Hustle's Method to Beat Approach Anxiety


    what if you get AA with a HB9 who is dressed kinda poor.. and you know she is probably living a bad life.. and may also be involved in drugs based on your judgement from her looks..

    in a scenario like that, even if you don't know her.. you would assume in your logical mind by her image that you are higher value then her.. if you believe that you live a higher value life then what you think she is living..

    so logically you know you are higher value then her..

    where does AA come into play there in your opinion?

    cuz personally I believe it's just hardwired from primitive times due to the dangers of approaching a woman back then..

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