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  1. #1

    How I got over approach anxiety

    First I want to say that I wrote this based on what Ive heard from Mystery and Rick Dutch.

    Ever seen a beautiful lady at a club and wanted to approach her? There is a strange feeling that overcomes you that makes you really nervous and most of the time incapable of this interaction. Lets take a few steps back and analyze this situation, the feeling you get is natural and is a hardwired response. Well why does this happen? it's pretty simple evolution doesn't keep up with how fast society is progressing.

    Now if you approached a taken girl even a few 100 years ago, you probably would of gotten beaten up or even killed. We are programmed to feel comfortable talking to new people when we have a rough idea who they are, for example; whats's their name,their age, whether they have a boyfriend or not.For myself thanks to Rick Dutch I feel that I have found a way to cope with Approach Anxiety.

    I feel by simply changing the name of it from Approach Anxiety to Approach energy that it causes a placebo effect and psychologically allows us to feel more positive to the outcome of the situation. I feel that the original name contains the world anxiety which usually carries a negative connotation and brings about a negative feeling to our conscious side and totally throws intentions while the world energy is very positive and makes you feel more motivated or amp'd up to approach the girl.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010

    How I got over approach anxiety


    Well , it is a nice though and i can defenetely see what u did thar.

    But almost no1 will see this as a breakthrough in approaching women.

    Tho ye, anxiety associates with bad feelings ,with u beeing week incapable and being lover value.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007

    How I got over approach anxiety

    I like the idea you're going for here. There are basically two ways to approach stressful situations: getting freaked out and getting amped up. If you've ever played a sport you know why the latter is better... at some point the stress and energy stop being a problem and become a point of focus that allow you to get into state and become hyper-competent.

    Changing your vocab here probably won't totally solve AA problems but it's definitely the right way to be looking at things.

  4. #4

    How I got over approach anxiety

    This reminds of something I've seen Ross Jeffries talk about. In one of his series he mentions that the feeling of fear (approach anxiety) and excitement are similar enough to be considered the same feeling. Personally I don't agree with him, but I saw his point.

    I believe that emotions are healthy and are there to protect you. You shouldn't let it control you, you call the shots. Your emotions are just your warning system. They let you know when something's wrong and give you a physiological response to protect you.

    When you feel fear, blood leaves the extremities and goes to your legs so you can run. When you feel anger, blood goes to your hands for you to fight. These are all there to protect and preserve your S&R value.

    When you go to approach you get a feeling of fear and adrenaline rush, like jumping out of an airplane. Your body is like, WTF why are you doing this?! Why are you jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Your emotions don't know that there's a parachute. Emotions and Logic are two separate processes.

    No matter how much you try to Logic yourself out of approach anxiety, it won't work as well as approaching and just dealing with it. Slowly but surely it becomes manageable.

  5. #5

    How I got over approach anxiety

    I hear you what your saying about AA. Its funny to think even the top pua's in the world still get AA, or so they say.

    The single best thing in the world to remove your AA is to do the following.
    BE PERSISTANT !!! This is true with most things in life and especially with being good with women.

  6. #6

    How I got over approach anxiety

    Yes the problem with revelation is ,unlike revolution, it's internal, and so may be extremely effective for you and a mere side-note for others.

    To get over AA I used to approach at cafes with my mouth stuffed with muffin, get the set's attention and make them wait while I attempted to swallow, then ask them the time or something arbitrary like "What are you guys doing?"

    I don't necessarily recommend it for other people but it worked for me. I still get AA, but now I can ignore it.

  7. #7

    How I got over approach anxiety

    I would like to give you my humble opinion an experiences of Approach Anxiety here.

    When I was young I was extremely shy, I would stu stu stu stutter around any girl, my eyes where at all times at the ground and I have been known to dash away when girls touched me, leaping over tables in manner that would have qualified my little 13 year old, 4ft and 220 pounds self for the Olympics if there would have been talent scouts around.
    Next to that I was this awfully weird kid, my hair looked like I had a sheepís ass on my head, I have turned many a shade of red and would attract bullies like a black hole swallowing planets, I would even swallow the light radiating of a bully.
    Until one day when I got older I decided I had enough, I looked in the mirror, and decided to look upon myself as clay (which I resembled rather much at that time) from which I would mold a new me. I decided to become the man I knew I was meant to be and get over my problems.

    Now Iím not telling you this for dramatic effect (though I canít resist just a little drama) but I am telling you this, because you need to know that it takes will power. You also need to know that when you pick a avatar you are not picking someone else to be like. You are reaching in to find your true self and from that moment you need to pull him out of the stinking tar pit that is your Approach Anxiety.

    So I cut my hair, bought new clothes (which where meant to fit in at the time) and I started to develop these approach anxiety exercises which the ones I find in the pua community really remind me of.

    I noticed that people who work behind the counter of a shop always say the same things. And I
    decided to use that.
    Store dude: Good day.
    You: Good day.
    Store Dude: How can I help you?
    You: I would like this bag of peanuts please
    Store Dude: That would be $3,60 please.
    You: *Give the money* here you go
    Store Dude: Thank you, *Takes the money and gives you the change* would you like a receipt for that?
    You: No thanks.
    Store Dude: Have a nice day sir.
    You: Thank you, good bye.

    Thatís what they say right? Its always the same little conversation, itís like you where handed the script to this play at birth.
    Thus I decided that this would be a good place to start. I started spicing up these conversations seeming I now have this god like power to see the future and always be ready with a witty come back.

    Store HB 10: Good day.
    Me: Hello, how are you doing?
    Store HB 10: Fine, how are you?
    Me: Well you know, Bad boy always do well *Smile* (kind hard translating this well from Dutch)
    Store HB 10: *smiles* So how can I help you?
    Me: I would like this bag of peanuts please, Oh donít look at me like that! Im trying to mind my weight. Looking this hot doesnít come natural you know *Chuckle a little totally playful*
    Store HB 10: *Laughs* That would be $3,60 please, and I donít think you need to mind your weight that much.
    Me: *Give the money* well thank you.
    Store HB 10: , *Takes the money and gives you the change* So would you like a receipt for that?
    Me: No thanks, its kind hard to return them after Iíve eaten them, I tried, but it gets kinda messy *playful wink*
    Store HB 10: *Laughs* Have a nice.
    Me: Thanks, See you next time.

    There are no DHV spikes, no negs, ect. These little chats where simply meant to help my get over my AA. Every time I go to the store , the gas station or some place with people behind counters I pull this little routine. I pull them on guys, gals, older women it does not matter. Talking to people is talking to people. And after you do this for a while you will get a feeling for what you should and should not say, if she thinks your weird or one fun customer who is different, self-confident and charming.

    After one week of doing this, I started noticing that I was entering shops with this air of self confidence and comfort. I would no longer communicate through a series of squeaks, but I would have better and better conversations. If the store is running slow, just sat a minute to chat.

    If you want to do this, just remember that your goal is to buy the bag of peanuts, the chat is just for fun.

    In the summer I went on google and looked up a article on fishing and looked up some of the local fish. After that I used my whole weekend walking by the water (its easy in Holland) finding people who are there fishing and ask ďare they bitingĒ and just strike up a conversation.

    When I took the bus to school I started talking to the bus driver, by the end of the year I knew a lot of them by name, I knew about their family and the problems they were having. I began giving then advice, and on the next bus ride I would see them I would ask them how it went. After that we always had something to talk about.

    I just kept building it up and up.

    And now Iím 25 years old and Iím a security guard. I talk to people all day long, as soon as people are lost or something happens, they come to me because Iím the one in uniform.

    And if you can talk to a HB 10 behind the counter, smile and look her straight in the eye while you buy that big pack with 1000 condoms and 2 bottles of lube for her pleasure. Then you can talk to a HB 10 in the club or on the streets.

    All you have to have to do, is get of that cute butt of yours, haul it out the door, face your fears and start striking up conversation. If the kid in this video can pull of these things, then you have nothing to fear.

    http://<iframe class="restrain" titl...="0"></iframe>

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