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Thread: change up the game?
01-25-2009, 12:12 AM #1
01-25-2009, 02:29 AM #2
change up the game?
I've been playing with something that Amber Nectar said on here-- You've got to make yourself seem like a fuckable guy in her mind. Lately, I've been having *some* success slowly leveraging myself out of the LJBF zone with a woman I'm really interested in.
What I'm finding is that it takes a lot of being subtle and incorporating gaming stuff into the current dynamic you already have with her. It seems paramount here to CALIBRATE your attraction/seduction with lots of friendship energy. Slowly gaming her and changing her opinion of you. If you try to change too quick, she'll notice the incongruity, and you'll blow it. Besides, if she likes you as a friend, she won't want to gamble on losing that. I'm finding reframing and verbal play to be really effective, along with willingness to walk, and ghost/flame theory. Since she's a friend, she's assuming that there's a high level of comfort between you two. If you pull that all away suddenly, you'll either shatter her trust as a friend, or she'll think you've gone bonkers.
I think that in cases like this, simply reframing yourself as higher value, playing with her and keeping the vibe / "feeling" between you really fun and attractive and sexy, but calibrated within the context of friendship, she may begin to change her opinion of you. However, I think this is best backed up by actaully having changed into a more attractive man. If your efforts work, and she gets closer to you, only to realize that you're the same old AFC she initially thought you were, you'll be bummed, and likely cause more damage to your connection that it was all worth.
01-25-2009, 02:57 AM #3
01-25-2009, 03:25 AM #4
change up the game?
They work if you give the routine a introduction first:
"So i was reading a cool book and the author said that ...."
something like that