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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008

    STILL failing miserably at extraction

    Same story, going on nearly a YEAR now.

    Game girl, makeout, hang with girl in club, build some rapport, try and plant in extraction offer, they say they cant leave friends/will come later, I keep trying but they won't, I end up losng value and losing the set.

    For instance last night she was like 'I'll come but later', then I stayed with her for like an hour, then it was 30 mins before closing so I told her to come again then she said she wouldn't leave friends, even though they were ok with it. I knew this because at one point when I was with the whole set on the dancefloor and I told my girl to come sit down one of the girls asks her as we were leaving 'are you leaving now?' (as in from the club) but my girl still wouldn't so after doing this same cycle a few times I just left saying bye bye.

    She said text her later and she will come. So i walk off and think let me try and just hang around till the end as usually I'd just go home now but I decided to push myself a little. I go back in set and she is totally drunk. As I go back to the set and reopen her she pulls some chode from her set over and starts making out with him.

    ....dead set.

    I'm thinking the issue could be a buying temperature thing, in that if the girl is saying 'later' then it means she will but isn't at high enough buying temp to want to yet. So sexual barriers and push pull type suff would be indicative here. Other than that I maybe need a better 'excuse' to go as they have been pretty weak in my past sets. I tried the lets go get some food' line but it wasn't congruent as I haven't done it before so might just need to try it a few more times for success. The other thing is just being more direct and leading, however I meet alot of resistance when I do this so it seems to be going against the grain somewhat. I think a mix of pumping buying temp and THEN leading once she's hot enough might work.

    I'm only talking about same night lays here so replies pertinent to facilitating that only please.

    So those guys who are extracting tell me what you see is amiss here.

  2. #2

    STILL failing miserably at extraction

    I don't know if this will help at all but something i did the other night was this. got talking to a 4set, negged target a little, built attraction, then a good song came on and I said "I love this song" she said "me too" so I said lets dance and grabbed her hand and led her onto the dance floor where we danced, after 5 mins of dancing I said "You want to sit down?"

    i built attraction and comfort, got loads of kino during dancing then asked if she wanted to sit down then led her to some empty seats away from the set... it worked for me.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    STILL failing miserably at extraction

    I've been actively working on SNL for a month now, and it's fucking rough!

    I'm thinking she's there to party with her friends and have a good time, right? So if I show up and be all fun and interesting and try to extract her early from her friends she'll just say "Yeah later" But that sets up this dynamic where you are now waiting for her to leave with you, when she is ready.

    Not a good frame. Plus the field is chaotic as hell.

    I was right there with you on Monday, same shit happened to me.

    Now, my thoughts on this are wait em out. Be cool, be fun, be challenging, seed the extraction but don't actually invite. Use this time to win over the obstacles. Hang till the bar closes, and then suggest food (insta-date) or the bounce.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    STILL failing miserably at extraction

    Decibel brings up excellent points to consider.

    Another important point to consider is make sure when you move into extraction that you AREN'T mentioning it for the first time. I like to string in mentions of an interesting place nearby almost as soon as I start the conversation, around 5 to 10 minutes in (as part of a multithreading approach). I might mention a fun story about being hit on at the coffee shop across the street, for instance, and transition into a conversation about coffee. "Oh so you like coffee? I knew there was something I liked about you!" *hug* "Alright, now get your ass off of me." *smile*

    By the time you talk about it later, she should be much more ready to agree to a change of venue. And be absolutely sure you don't slip into the FRIEND ZONE when building comfort! By the time you bounce her you guys should be at least holding hands, and preferably kissing with some level of comfort.

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