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  • Good Banter Lines

    Hey guys, been out of the game for awhile, but now I’m back. I’ve been sorting through my old notes, and I’ve come up with a list of good bantering lines. Here they are, loosely sorted by category. Feel free to add more.

    Sexual Banter:
    Me: “Do you think that all guys think about is sex?”
    Her: “Yes.”
    Me: “Well you’re wrong. I think about foreplay too!”

    Me: “I suck at sex. I have a one inch penis.”

    Me: “You’re not going to use me for my body, are you?”

    Me: “I’m not letting you take my virginity”

    Me: “I hope you don’t plan on having sex with me. I’m not a piece of meat; I want you to respect me as a person.”

    Her: “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”
    Me: “I went to a sexaholics anonymous class with my girlfriend, pretended we didn’t know each other, and then got busy in the backroom.”

    Her: “What are you drinking?”
    Me: “Just water. Don’t want to get drunk and have women take advantage of me.”

    Me: “Be careful when you drink that?
    Her: “Why?”
    Me: “Because I’m trying to get in your pants.”

    [you give her a drink]
    Me: “Watch out for the roofies I put in there!”

    Bad Girlfriend/Not Gonna Work Out
    Her: “Buy me a drink” [or something similar]
    Me: “No way, you didn’t buy me any flowers.”

    Me: “It’s not gonna work out between us.”
    Her: “Why not?”
    Me: “Because you’re not fat enough for me. I like fat chicks, and you’re too skinny.”

    [point to another guy]
    Me: “You need that guy. He’ll be a good boyfriend, he’ll give you flowers and dinners and romantic outings. I, on the other hand, am very high maintenance myself. I need lots of attention. I demand a lot. You don’t want to be around me. I will definitely break your heart.”

    Me: “You should go with that guy, he’s better than me.”

    Her: “Let’s go to the mall tomorrow!” [or some other activity she suggests]
    Me: “Is it gonna be like a date? Because if it is, I expect you to pick me up and buy me dinner too.”

    Miscellaneous:
    Her: “You’re cute”.
    Me: “No, I’m actually very ugly/mean.”

    Her: “How old do you think I am?”
    Me: “61, 62, but I’ve been known to underestimate at times.”

    Me: “You guys look like fun. Who’s the richest one? Nice, I need a sugar momma. Now who’s the best cook? Nice she can cook for us.”

    When in smoker’s corner:
    Me: “You guys have any crack?”

    Her: “Do you make a lot of money?”
    Me: “Yeah but it’s all going down the drain on my penis reduction surgery.”

    Me: “Flex for me.”
    [she flexes and you feel her huge bicep]
    Me: “Come on, flex!”
    Her: “You jerk!”

    Her: “What do you do for a living?”
    Me: “I flirt with girls.”

    Me: “I’m a big flirt, but I don’t put out. I’m picky.”

    When you part ways:
    Me: “Don’t miss me too much”

    Take a picture and look at it:
    Me: “We make a cute couple, don’t we? Come here, give me a hug.”

    If it’s a girl’s birthday:
    Me: “Nice. I have a great present for you.”
    Her: “And what’s that?”
    Me: “Me!”

  • #2
    LOL! these are funny.

    I always get "you are cute" and usually just say thanks.

    Comment


    • #3
      You got some good shit me brotha. I wouldn't use some of them like

      Me: “It’s not gonna work out between us.”
      Her: “Why not?”
      Me: “Because you’re not fat enough for me. I like fat chicks, and you’re too skinny.”

      [this is because your punishing her for her being nice, which isn't really what you want]

      HOWEVER, the others are GOLD MY MAN, GOLD

      Comment


      • #4
        impressive!

        THese are really funny and silly. I think you can make any girl smile with these!!

        Comment


        • #5
          these little bantering lines are great.. it's like speaking while having jewels in your mouth. and the girls love this stuff.. may i say genius!!!

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