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  • Low value friend that you have know for a while

    Ok so im a junior in high school and i have had this friend since i was 10. As i grew up with him, i gradually thought to myself that he was lower value. Sometimes i would hang out with him just for company and we have been through kind of alot.

    Although he is in my friend circle, every new person that he meets, they quickly realize that they dont like him because of his bad people skills. At school, pretty much alot of people DO NOT like him. I feel bad for him because he can't make friends that easy but at the same time he lowers my value for hanging out with him.

    Now, I'm not saying that i have the greatest people skills but i am working on it and its been going good for me. Basically, im trying to fulfill the duties of a pua (be social, have preselection, have a good amount of friends) and it is hard when my friend comes in and ruins it because he is just trying to be himself but totally lowers his and my value.

    Also when i tell him about his situation and try to help him, it goes through one ear and out the other. I told him about the mystery method and tried to teach him but it just didn't get through to him.

    So i ask, what do i do with him like how can i help him change? I am basically like his mom like i tell him when he is going out of control and needs to chill. I dont want to keep doing this, what should i do with him?

  • #2
    Dude i say lead by example. Its hard to help someone when you can bearly help yourself. If he is a true friend don't ruin a true friendship for just people to talk to because if you get in a real bind you may need him. All i can think to say is he will get it eventually unfortunately neither you nor him know when. All i can say is don't brush him off just keep your cool and don't act like his mom atleast act like his dad. Also turn your weakness into a strength if you don't have people skills you never will if you don't talk to people but everyone is not going to like you either so keep that in mind. Just keep cool if he is a good friend i would respect you more if you just say yea he is my friend. If anyone has a problem with it (fuck what another guy thinks) female wise tell her a(short) story about how he had your back in a tough time. An he may not communicate well but he is a good person. I want to say it shows you have respect for youself and you value a good friend even though he has he has problems. Then switch then subject back to you and still find more friends. Just make sure he isn't to much of a Richard. Idk if this helps but i try not to many people reply any more.


    • #3
      Yea i talked to him about it and he was thinking what i was thinking that he should work on his downfalls. I see what you are saying DAKOTA and i thought about it, i would feel really bad if i just left him out in the dust because of all that we have been through. I am going to keep him as my friend and still help him out, and like you said he will get it "eventually". Thanks DAKOTA, this helped alot!


      • #4
        People should like your friend in the first place, due to Social Proof by you. It's hard to even repel people in these situations...

        It's like, he can be a mute guy who say nothing at all,all that will happen is people has neither positive/negative impression on him, just no impression.
        So, what causes the negative impression? Is he being an ass-hole to people? Is he cursing too much(without sense of humor)? Is he complaining too much? Is he jumping into people's personal conversation? Is he trying to make jokes that he think is funny, but really is not? I don't know, but you as his friend, should try to offer him constructive criticism, that's how a true friend should be.

        One more thing, before you try to introduce your friend to Mystery Method, i think he should read something else, a book called ,'' How to Win Friends& Influence People'' by Dale Carnegie. It teaches the basics of human relations. Mystery Method in my opinion, is a much more advanced application of Dale Carnegie philosophy---such as being interesting, smile,be challenging, give honest and sincere appreciation...
        This is a very famous book that has more than 15million copies sold, you can probably find it in your school library.


        • #5
          Ya like he was home schooled up until a freshmen in high school so he didnt have alot of practice communicating with people. I heard alot of people say that he is weird or annoying or they dont like him because ya he make jokes that arent funny or sometimes ruins the mood or acts like a asshole to people. Pretty much AFC but that is why i want to help him get out of his social awkwardness. I guess first he should learn how to make friends so i will show him "How to Win Friends & Influence People"