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  • May the gods of LOVE help me.

    May the gods of LOVE help me.
    Please help me, its my first time asking for help in the community.I want to briefly thank to all the comunity for existing, and adding to my life. I would apreciate help from people with more experience than me, and that are out of the situation. I believe all the details described are or may be important to draw the picture. Please have patience.Please have patience. I also hope my situation can enhance some other people's life's.

    Ok,
    I meat this very young girl ( will call her Moona)wich is sister from a new friend. I became friend of this new friend recently, also his mother and sisters. including this girl, Moona. Although my friend is VERY jelous about his sisters he "acepted" me glady as a potencial suiter. Also her mother, wich theoretically would be a surprise. She was gaving me a lot of IOI's ( indicators of interest) and her mother was ok with that.
    DAY 1
    One night with her mother support all hang out in a rock show and afterwards, again with her mother's support we bounced alone ( me and Moona) to another place ( my friends house). Same night, after this, we bounced again to see the sunrise in another public but empty beatiful place. There I kept running internalized material, being wise but not manipulative, just beeing me ( with the knowledge that I have about "pick up"). We made out beautifully ( kiss close etc).
    DAy 2
    We meat briefly, ( due my friendship with her brother) exchanged some kisses and hugs.
    Day 3
    We went to dance together ( as it was already arrenged betwen us), and by my side it was very nice. We dance, kissed, huged etc. We went to eat something later, and we went to her home, were we meat the rest of the family ( more kisses, goodbyes etc).
    Day 4
    exchanged txt messages in the morning ( the reason was that I had a talk arranged with her brother about the fact that I and Moona had make out , as we did not want him to fell bad and unconfortable about it, --- and I wished to update her about this talk with her brother) updating her about the talk with her brother ( he was ok).
    Day 5
    Bad day. I was going to their house to meet her brother only, but as I knew she would be there I decided to call her as saying I was going to drop by ( I did not want to surprise her and īnvade her space). I realise now that it was a bad mistake from me.
    Day 6 Nothing
    Day 7 ( start of disgrace)
    She send a txt msg in the morning saying she would not make to our arranged meating ( my dance class, which I had invited her). Later on I did NOT make a big deal out of it and replyed unreactive but kindly saying it was ok and whishing her a good time.
    Day 8
    I decided to call her to have a better understanding of what was going on. Invited her to go out to a "stroll", a "runaround". She said " I don't know, 'cause i have something with my friend mother and...the phone hang out'.
    Later I come to know that she was running out of battery by another source of information.Anyway I did ANYTHING afterwards. Did not call, message her or whatever. I considere that cancelling our meating, refused my invitation, and hang the phone in my face was enough for me.
    Other days
    We saw each other online in facebook, noone said nothing.I kind of did not drop by their house for some days.Kept seeig her brother in other places.
    I got a lost call from her, tryed to call her back in the same night, she was out of reach. Txted her the day after saying I saw her call.
    The other day she replyed saying she just wanted to know if I was with her brother in tha particular momment. By all her indicators od desinterest I believe her. Same day she new by her brother that I had a death in the family, and she gave me a call. Nothing about us.
    I went in their house again yesterday to see her brother, she was there and seamed cold to me.
    I know by her brother she has having interections with other guys, and seams to be in a crush for one of then, I don't know exactly how, and how much. Also it seams that some other guy is playing with her.
    It has been kind of 18 days from day 1.
    I skipped some details but I guess tha main points are here.
    I felt all was magickal with her and deep inside I want her "back".
    What and How should I do that? if so...
    Ok, just focus in my life and other girls ( easy to say huh !?). But what else ?
    ( Did her mother support backfired somehow ? There still any hope? Shoul I act right now, should I show even more desinterest? Should I be more a rollercoaster and less a merry-go-round...how can I do it now?
    I don't know what I did wrong, and it scares me the most!
    )
    Many Thanks in advance.
    Dazzle

  • #2
    Tell her straight up you'd like a chance to talk with her alone. Hopefully from there you have more clarity to base decisions on.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks The_Jester and Jubeanation !
      The_Jester;
      Man, I consider us warriors to try to comunicate by written words, such subtle things. Thanks for taking the road with me.I could not honour more our efforts than reply you.
      Regarding your comments about "desperation", it was a confirmation for me, I had come (now)to this conclusion also; if I did/do anything else, would be and apear to be needy.
      Your point about social circle is precise.
      About the death, we ( you and me) really could not comunicate the way I planned, which I apologise; the death was in MY family and I could not ever agree with you more " It's also inappropriate to exploit the vulnerable emotions from a death for pickup''. As we had a bad comunication regarding that point, I will disconsider your following comments, as they do not apply to the case. Clarifing; I got to a point that would be childish and inapropriate to hide the death in MY family to her brother.
      Completaly out of my vision of possibilities, he told their mother, and her to Moona.So she called me.In fact I was mourning and I am not proud of it especifically.I thought that, tecnically, to VA/pua her phone call would be worth mention.
      I fell that all the comments add a little ( or a lot!) to my point of view. I have a very clear and rational view that girls will pass, but if I do not take care of were my game is falling...the sticking points will not pass. And they shall pass!
      The_Jester; your blog is very nice man!

      Comment


      • #4
        Not a God of Love per se

        Friend, sometimes it helps to know a little about you as well when trying to help. This post details one interaction and we know more about the girl than you. We don't need identifying details but I'd like to know your goals, because that will change the advice. Some of my stuff is really rakish so you're gonna have to adapt and overcome

        So to the technical points:

        Day 3
        We went to dance together ( as it was already arrenged betwen us), and by my side it was very nice. We dance, kissed, huged etc. We went to eat something later, and we went to her home, were we meat the rest of the family ( more kisses, goodbyes etc).
        Technically your day2, all this sounds fine. Tell about how the kiss happened, always please. I hope you were qualifying her. Also a young woman may need more flash game type stuff. Camera routines, any BT spikers. Are you showing social proof? It may be a good move for you to visit these venues early and make friends with the staff/people there. Sometimes a good bribe can go a long way. DHV, project value anyway you can without braggin or being arrogant.


        exchanged txt messages in the morning ( the reason was that I had a talk arranged with her brother about the fact that I and Moona had make out , as we did not want him to fell bad and unconfortable about it, --- and I wished to update her about this talk with her brother) updating her about the talk with her brother ( he was ok).
        I do not know if this was necessary socially, but from a PU standpoint the next to last thing you want to be doing is texting her about her brother (with various funny exceptions) This only increases the feeling that he or the family is too involved, more on that later. Should be DHVing and building that connection.

        Day 5
        Bad day. I was going to their house to meet her brother only, but as I knew she would be there I decided to call her as saying I was going to drop by ( I did not want to surprise her and īnvade her space). I realise now that it was a bad mistake from me.
        Yeah, she prob alread knew from her brother telling her. Even so, you want to be talking about anything but mundane, rational logistics

        Day 7 ( start of disgrace)
        She send a txt msg in the morning saying she would not make to our arranged meating ( my dance class, which I had invited her). Later on I did NOT make a big deal out of it and replyed unreactive but kindly saying it was ok and whishing her a good time.
        Not really. No disgrace at all. So what if those other people know. You're a classy guy and you did nothing wrong. If it wasn't appropriate for a young man to socialize and date in search for a mate the human race would be dead by now lol Social circle game can be very rewarding and many PUAs advance from cold approach to social circle as a next level type move.

        And the event you're referring to probably happened [B]at least[/B] two days earlier.

        Day 8
        I decided to call her to have a better understanding of what was going on. Invited her to go out to a "stroll", a "runaround". She said " I don't know, 'cause i have something with my friend mother and...the phone hang out'.
        Later I come to know that she was running out of battery by another source of information.Anyway I did ANYTHING afterwards. Did not call, message her or whatever. I considere that cancelling our meating, refused my invitation, and hang the phone in my face was enough for me.
        eh. who knows why, don't trust that battery thing thats part of the game. Your response was correct but way too emotional. If the only thing you've done is kiss close the girl you should be able to next her without emotion. Frame control. Willingness to walk away is a DHV but it looks sullen when shes the one walking away.

        IODs get IODs yeah, but if things are going well a dropped call should not cause you to next her. You knew things weren't going well because you were picking up her not so subtle hints.

        Damage control consist of starting at A1 again and plowing those DHV's. And you start damage control the second you get the uh-oh feeling. As opposed to the next feeling...

        I felt all was magickal with her and deep inside I want her "back".
        What and How should I do that? if so...
        oh man... have mercy on me, I don't know what the gods of love would say to that.

        Mystery recommends vanishing for a long time and coming back with massivly higher value lol true

        ( Did her mother support backfired somehow ? There still any hope? Shoul I act right now, should I show even more desinterest? Should I be more a rollercoaster and less a merry-go-round...how can I do it now?
        I don't know what I did wrong, and it scares me the most!
        And the broad outline of my advice:

        Calibration: read the signals, borther invites new guy over to meet the family, family approves and actively pushes her to date new guy her brother picked, she goes out with him and has a good time, dances and kisses, She naturally enjoys the attention. As a young woman she now has family approval to go out with guys and she has other suitors so she socializes with them, the first guy begins to act like he's all up in her life through her famly and she feels like she might not want to just take the first guy that comes along no matter how charming he is. Plus she may feel a natural urge to rebel. Or maybe another guy talked about her and not her brother, hint hint

        Example:

        Completaly out of my vision of possibilities, he told their mother, and her to Moona.
        Families don't talk? You should have seen this coming a mile away my young PUA friend. Evidence: her bro told her about your loss.



        Point is there are things you could have done to get this woman, but it all starts with calibration in a broad and narrow sense. Gotta get that practice in and cold approach is the best way to do it. If that's hard to do tell people you're in speech class and have to talk to three strangers that day.

        Scarcity: Your frame is off. I understand there may be contraints to the abundance of women in your life you can project but your frame has gotta be tight even if you're in the fucking Sahara. Social proof out the wazoo.

        Fear: Consider this thing with this girl, even though it felt good, consider it over, done. Make a vivid picture in your mind that holds the entire experience. look at it in your minds eye and watch it slowly recede, smaller as the years of your life go by. Ten years from now you see it as a tiny speck, distant and not so bad. You kissed a beautiful woman, cool!

        fell that all the comments add a little ( or a lot!) to my point of view. I have a very clear and rational view that girls will pass, but if I do not take care of were my game is falling...the sticking points will not pass. And they shall pass!
        I hope to add my share, having walked in these shoes myself, plus please don't be offended but it is very amusing to read posts like these which we get so often. you'rs stood out and its All the more worth the effort to reply if you keep posting.

        I hope to hear more from you with another set
        Last edited by Alacrity; 04-13-2012, 04:46 AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          [COLOR="Olive"]Hey Alacrity and all!
          About me, I guess is true to say that my major focus is practice. I admit that I can get
          really sucked up in a particular girl if she meets my standards, not only beauty, but
          even more important personality, culture, ideas, potential for becoming more interesting
          with time and so on. That's one of my sticking points( like I did with Monna). My goal
          with her particularly was only to move forward and get to know her more while having fun
          (in the best sense of the words). Clearly I got kind of sucked in the situation while it
          developed.Although practice is my main focus, I guess I would stick to a girlfriend for a
          while if she was REALLY THE THING for me.[/COLOR]

          Technically your day2, all this sounds fine. Tell about how the kiss happened, always please. I hope you were qualifying her. Also a young woman may need more flash game type stuff. Camera routines, any BT spikers. Are you showing social proof? It may be a good move for you to visit these venues early and make friends with the staff/people there. Sometimes a good bribe can go a long way. DHV, project value anyway you can without braggin or being arrogant.

          [COLOR="Olive"]Kiss;
          We bounced from a place to rockshow- to her house- to my friend's house- to viewsight. There confort,kino, , there I knew it was on. My concern was to give her a damn exctatic, breathtaking, awesome experience, so I runned The Cube ( its a Style's gambit for those who don't know ).{ A very ironicall detail: when was the time for her to describ her horse, she could imput anything significant ( the Horse means something as her Ideal Mate).She kind of like me to be in the dark, even unconsciouly hehe.}Was awesome, after; some fun push-pull, kino, deep eye contact: kiss.

          Technical points;
          Please, what is a BT spikers?


          Mistakes I see now;
          - Should have passed a shit test while we were eating, regarding staying"in or out" the
          place we were. Also too much nice words while we were dancing.
          - Should not have msg about her bro in the morning. ( You nailed that in the head bro!)
          _ Should not have msg to say goodnight in the same day.
          _ Should not have called her saying I would drop by (that thursday).Mainly should have
          behaved differently while there, should not have chased her, etc (!)
          _ Guess mainly; should have Screanned her MORE, ALL THE WAY.
          Emotionnaly I fell better about detecting these mistakes.

          Quote you:

          "Calibration: read the signals, borther invites new guy over to meet the family, family
          approves and actively pushes her to date new guy her brother picked, she goes out with
          him and has a good time, dances and kisses, She naturally enjoys the attention. As a young
          woman she now has family approval to go out with guys and she has other suitors so she
          socializes with them, the first guy begins to act like he's all up in her life through
          her famly and she feels like she might not want to just take the first guy that comes
          along no matter how charming he is. Plus she may feel a natural urge to rebel. Or maybe
          another guy talked about her and not her brother, hint hint "
          Thats was gold to me! How can I have not seem it more clearly?!

          Quote us:
          "I felt all was magickal with her and deep inside I want her "back".
          What and How should I do that? if so...

          oh man... have mercy on me, I don't know what the gods of love would say to that."

          I will have mercy on us bro! I guess the gods of love would say ; I hope this AFC turns in
          a pua fast..we can't stand his silly prayers anymore!

          The main point as you said is that my frame is off.As you already know, Scarcity is a fact
          that I will have to deal with more skill and selfcontrol...until it ends.
          I found a Ross J video in The_Jester blog that helped me in this situation, maybe will add
          for people in a similar trap:


          Tryin to do the obvious but also the right thing; I went out yesterday to practice, and
          I intend to do it again today. Will go to that dance place.

          What stand out for me is that it would be easy to see all my situation from the outside,
          but when it is in my own skin, things get way harder and confusing. As crazy as it seams
          I have an pua student,who have been greatly helped by me. I am happy to be able to help him.
          If it all have happened with him, I guess I would have given him very similar advice that I
          am receiving here.But I could not do it to myself. Isn't it amazing? So Thanks so much
          for everything!
          Life is funny; so hard to get any support from people around me, and so I got to find it in
          people that I never meat phisically.
          [/COLOR]

          Comment


          • #6
            Something to keep in mind as you practice. It can be easy to feel a rush of success at a good opening or whatever and then eject to preserve the good feelings without going for the number or kiss close. Don't do this.

            We bounced from a place to rockshow- to her house- to my friend's house- to viewsight. There confort,kino, , there I knew it was on. My concern was to give her a damn exctatic, breathtaking, awesome experience, so I runned The Cube ( its a Style's gambit for those who don't know ).{ A very ironicall detail: when was the time for her to describ her horse, she could imput anything significant ( the Horse means something as her Ideal Mate).She kind of like me to be in the dark, even unconsciouly hehe.}Was awesome, after; some fun push-pull, kino, deep eye contact: kiss.
            Wow, good stuff. Multiple locations, the cube, I know it well. All nice but not tight yet. You probably should have kissed her sooner and used the cube kino to escalate. Also, if your in comfort and she's not open enough to play the cube all the way through its time to back up and DHV some more, it's called plowing for a reason lol

            viewsight=scenic overlook? Keep your day2's like this and you'll find some girls will be willing.

            BT=buying temprature (grumble, sales analogy, grumble) it's when she's in the mood to "buy" what you're "selling" whether its a kiss or a hug or much more, high BT means a girl is much more likely to consent to a kiss or whatever, a BT spiker is a routine specifically designed to raise a womans BT ( Does anybody know an alternate term for this? )

            - Should have passed a shit test while we were eating, regarding staying"in or out" the
            place we were. Also too much nice words while we were dancing.
            Pick one and go with it. A lot of women expect you to lead her. Don't be a jerk but don't hesitate.

            And nice words? What nice words? Women like nice words, especially, if you brush her ear with your lips, oh it is loud in here isn't it?


            The main point as you said is that my frame is off.As you already know, Scarcity is a fact
            that I will have to deal with more skill and selfcontrol...until it ends.
            I found a Ross J video in The_Jester blog that helped me in this situation, maybe will add
            for people in a similar trap:
            Fake it till you make it.

            Life is funny; so hard to get any support from people around me, and so I got to find it in people that I never meat phisically.
            Life can be strange sometimes, keeps it interesting. For instance, when ever people misspell "meet" I think of them running in to the room and whacking everybody's heads with sausages, throwing some ham on the table and then peace out. I can't help but laugh. Point is, things often are not what they seemp; scarcity should take care of itself as you continue. Focus on calibration, seeing whats really happening around you and in reaction to you. Learn to notice IOIs and IODs

            I've met a few PUA's in the field and I really enjoyed it. But a lot of help came to me from people on the net as well. So be it.

            Suggestion: learn some body language to help jump start your calibration
            Last edited by Alacrity; 04-17-2012, 03:02 PM.

            Comment

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