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  • At a moral crossroads

    Alright, so I JUST moved into my dorm room. My college is about 4 hours drive away from home.
    Well, there was an HB 7, who's a senior in highschool, that messaged me on facebook out of nowhere and we hung out on Tuesday. Kclose
    We hung out Wednesday, got to second base.

    Here's the problem. She's getting too attached. I told her (albeit while making out) that it was a bad idea to start anything right before I leave. I told her that one of us would get too attached, and it'd be bad. She said.. "I don't care."
    And yes, she is rather attached. I pulled the cheap jewelry routine (credit: I think Style?), in which you give her a piece of cheap jewelry with the line "You're not a thief, are you?... etc, etc"
    She wears it on her necklace now, since it's too big for her.

    Here's my issue:
    I was SO excited about moving from a tiny backwater town to a college setting with 30K people. I was especially excited about the 15K that were women! BUT... I'm too moral. That's my problem. I would feel bad sarging or even just hitting on women knowing that there is a girl that thinks we have a committed relationship back home

    At the same time, I told her at least 2 or 3 times that it's a bad idea.

    What should I do?

  • #2

    This is typical movie based drama shit. Id say let her go unless you have feelings for her. A friend of mine did the same. To begin the story, Meet senior year, dated, went to different colleges(they were 30min away). But this year he had to stay home due to financial reasons, then they ended up 3 hours away. He went to visit her time to time. But he then started to hate it. Driving for so long and some times always fought. Then eventually broke up.
    I am a pretty moral person as well. I would feel bad to knowing about the situation back where you live. My advice is
    If you have strong feelings for her - worth it
    If you feel shes worth the drive - worth it
    If she comes and visits you - worth it
    Shes younger - worth it(but not really)
    Give it 3 months, work it out like a now job. lol


    • #3
      Damn. thats a tough call man and I know exactly what you are talking about because i am in a similar situation myself. I just got out of a long distance relationship, AZ to CA, so for me its like i almost don't want to be tied down because for so long I could barely do anything with girls because of my gf. I'm thinking about trying to Kclose with a random chick I meet at a party and see how I feel. If I feel guilty and regret it I either need to tell her its over so i don't feel this way or make it completely official. If I don't feel guilty then I know not to make it official. Just test the waters. And if you do hook up w/ someone else and she finds out I'm sure if she really likes you you can easily rebound. And act all serious like, i felt super guilty and what i got out of this is that I do have feelings for you etc. I think it could be done. But If you two are in a serious relationship i wouldn't cheat on her. Thats too morally wrong for me, but as long as its not completely official and you both know that there is no official title you should test the waters just to see how you feel. Kclose someone else for her ... if that makes sense, lol


      • #4
        The first rule of pickup and the thing which gives us a moral footing is "always leave them better than when you found them"
        this basically translates as don't leave them jaded and damaged for the next guy. If you're not that into her. Tell her. Your emotional circuitry will punish you for it because we are evolutionarily designed to hang on to women when we've got them.
        You could even say to her "That you want to be able to see these other women when you go to college and experience life a little bit" you might get lucky with her saying that she's ok with that, then you've got some fun waiting for you at home and get to play when you're at college. But simply put, don't let her get more and more attatched before you say you're not interested. Ideally I would say tell her before you have sex with her. It's a major step for a girl in terms of emotional investment and if you dump her just afterwards you'll be leaving her damaged for the next guy who comes along.


        • #5
          let her go

          From all that i have seen through the years such as close frineds(so i know all the details) is to just let her go.

          your moving on to bigger and better things dont string her along. If you do your only making things complicated for yourself and it will end on a sour note.