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  • How do I over come these situations

    I don't have a problem approaching, actually I capitilize on it immediately when an oppotunity arises, however there seems to be a few things that stop me from approaching, espeically when obeying the 3 second rules.

    How do I handle these

    1) No where to lock in. Later on throughout the night, Clubs/bars get really pack and there is no where to sit and lean back on. I would take it outside to the smoking area but I can't stand the smell of cigarettes.

    2) When girls are dancing, Not on the dance floor, but around the bar. Now i don't have a problem dancing, but I go there to practice my material and speaking and I don't want to bring the energy level down of the group or girl so how do I go about this?

    3) When Girls are constantly moving and walking around. Or if a see a new batch of HB's walking in. It's hard to obey the 3 sec rule here.

    In these situations, I tend to wait till they have all settled down, or when I see a place to lock in, but I don't like waiting, and as you guys know anxiety kicks in. What to do?

  • #2
    1) I can understand this. All the seats can be taken, all the walls can be already leaned on. If you're still i the set, just try to get the frame of the conversation towards you. A joke or story relating to the topic of conversation, whatever, I assume you have it covered up until this point. When it comes to isolation, you don't necessarily have to have a place to sit. Just a place away from her friends so she doesn't feel awkward or socially obligated to act a certain way. Take her to the line for the bar even.

    2) I wouldn't approach chicks who are dancing. Mainly because of the idea that they're having enough fun by themselves to be dancing, that you couldn't possibly make the mood any better. But if you absolutely feel you have to do something, do some sort of routine as though you're judging them, and if you get enough rapport then say something like 'jeez, you really need some pointers missy..' then start to edge away and turn back as though you've just had an epiphany and say 'come over here and i'll tell you something i've noticed about you'... or whatever.

    3) Yeah... i personally wouldn't approach a group who has just walked through the door... unless they're looking nervous and bored. then jump in while they're waiting with some interesting material to brighten their otherwise boring night. but if they're walkin in, looking psyched and jumpy, it'd be better to hang back... in my opinion.

    Comment


    • #3
      1. If you can't lock in where you are, move the target to somewhere you can. If she is in the seat, trick her out of it. Make her stand up and twirl around. Do it a dance thing. Do it as a "I have to take a look first" to guess her age thing.

      Stare up the ceiling, make her get up and see what your looking at, then sit down.

      Same applies if she is locked in against a wall.

      2) To go straight in and talk to a girl dancing is hard. You want to dance with them. It's a lot easier on the dance floor because you can back it in. Even if it's on the side of the dance floor you can get your friends dancing, you back it in and open with, "Our group is way cooler than your group."

      If she agrees, say "That's ok, I'll introduce you." and merge the sets.
      If she disagrees say, "Let's find out. I'll introduce you guys." and merge sets.

      It really doesn't matter what she says. It opens the set.

      3) What Fervour said, plus you are going after a moving target which is hard and they might not be in social mood yet. Maybe they want to go to the bathroom for whatever or maybe they want to find a place to put their stuff or where they are going to sit/stand.

      Once they are situated go open them.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ganglord View Post
        1. If you can't lock in where you are, move the target to somewhere you can. If she is in the seat, trick her out of it. Make her stand up and twirl around. Do it a dance thing. Do it as a "I have to take a look first" to guess her age thing.

        Stare up the ceiling, make her get up and see what your looking at, then sit down.

        Same applies if she is locked in against a wall.
        This is a common way to lock in, but if there are NO other seats or places to lean, and she's left just standing there uncomfortably and wants to sit down, wouldn't this DLV you through being rude / committing a social violation?

        Also, if she's standing over you while projecting irritation/tension/tiredness with her body language due to lack of a seat, wouldn't this also DLV you to other sets?

        Originally posted by ganglord View Post

        3) What Fervour said, plus you are going after a moving target which is hard and they might not be in social mood yet. Maybe they want to go to the bathroom for whatever or maybe they want to find a place to put their stuff or where they are going to sit/stand.

        Once they are situated go open them.
        If you really want to try opening a moving set that walks in, try walking in front of them slightly while matching their pace and direction, look over the shoulder, slow down, and open. Don't approach them straight on like a lion coming in for the kill.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by azazels_wolf View Post
          This is a common way to lock in, but if there are NO other seats or places to lean, and she's left just standing there uncomfortably and wants to sit down, wouldn't this DLV you through being rude / committing a social violation?

          Also, if she's standing over you while projecting irritation/tension/tiredness with her body language due to lack of a seat, wouldn't this also DLV you to other sets?
          If she has a negative direct reaction you would have to reframe it to be funny which isn't that hard to do.

          As far as DLVing to other sets, the opposite would be true. When locked in, the person would look like they were gaming you, raising your social value in the venue. If you were gaming the chick from the outside, you'd be lowering yours. If she is irritated enough to make it look like she is clearly mad at you then you have done something wrong. If she looks like she is mad because someone spilled her drink or her sun glasses broke or one of 10 million other things it won't matter. Of course, her irritation should subside once you start giving her value.

          If she clearly is irritated with what you did to her, move the set. I always want to be in the lock in position.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ganglord View Post
            If she has a negative direct reaction you would have to reframe it to be funny which isn't that hard to do.
            Good thought, but what you think of as funny might not be so for her. Especially if you took the only spot and she doesn't have direct access to her stuff now. What do you do if her purse was sitting there and you're blocking her access to it (are you going to pickpocket her?), or she starts to get nervous that her drink will get spiked, etc.? Some women don't appreciate this type of move and will be decidedly uncomfortable about it. Hell, *I'd* be uncomfortable if someone did it to me and I can't sit down, and they were now sitting in front of/next to my stuff and blocking my access, no matter how interesting or entertaining they are, or how much they make a joke of it. I'd be scrambling to grab my items or watching their hands like a hawk. I know some girls that feel the same way. I suppose this type of nervousness comes from bad experiences.... I think it could work on a naive target though... one who's carefree.


            Originally posted by ganglord View Post
            As far as DLVing to other sets, the opposite would be true. When locked in, the person would look like they were gaming you, raising your social value in the venue. If you were gaming the chick from the outside, you'd be lowering yours.
            I see what you're saying, but it won't look like she's gaming you if she's displeased. Have you ever been in a situation where your sitting down while someone was standing over you actually took AWAY your power and status? Have you noticed how many dominant figures exercise their authority or dominance by standing over you and talking while you sit, and the dominance is only broken once you get up and look them in the eye? This is something that gets instilled from a very early age, and I can't help but wonder if the psychology of it can affect a situation like this in unexpected ways, especially if you're talking to an alpha female who cannot sit down.

            Originally posted by ganglord View Post
            If she is irritated enough to make it look like she is clearly mad at you then you have done something wrong. If she looks like she is mad because someone spilled her drink or her sun glasses broke or one of 10 million other things it won't matter. Of course, her irritation should subside once you start giving her value.

            If she clearly is irritated with what you did to her, move the set. I always want to be in the lock in position.
            I agree that it would be a good idea to move the set. I think that should be done quickly in a no seat/room situation like this. It would make things much less awkward.

            Comment

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