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  • The Five Prinicples of Female Pleasure

    This is adapted from an article I read by Mirabelle Summers. She thought even though every woman is different there were five universal guidelines to follow in giving any woman pleasure:

    1. Your attention goes on HER, not on you
    • Don’t get bogged down by goals like “I need to give her an orgasm” or “I need to last all night.” In that scenario, you’re placing attention on you, not on her. Instead, pay attention to her subtle responses and adapt to them—like a good listener in a conversation.
    • Take care or her before you take care of yourself. After all, it takes longer for her to get warmed up than for us, so warm her up before pleasing yourself.
    • Focus on what works for her, not on your pride (i.e. “I need to be the best ever”). This attitude of putting aside your pride, according to her, will put you in the sexual elite of men.

    2. ALL women are DIFFERENT
    • For every woman, the rule book is written afresh. So take the time to discover what THIS SPECIFIC woman HERE AND NOW prefers.
    • To complicate things further, the same woman’s preferences also changes from moment to moment—so pay attention to her changes of mood and adjust accordingly.

    3. Communicate and Pay Attention
    • Observe her to figure out what's working or not. For example, if she's flat and quiet change what you're doing or take a step back, tell her she's beautiful, and ask how she's feeling. But if her back is arching, her legs are opening further, she's moaning and panting, DON'T STOP THE RHYTHM--keep doing what you're doing (unless of course you wanna tease her little before she explodes...observe the cat playing with the mouse hehehe)
    • Verbal Communication: ASK if she likes what you’re doing. She’ll appreciate this—a lot. I’ve talked to women about this and they said they wished guys would do this more often. They all say it would make her comfortable enough to tell us what she likes or doesn’t like. It also shows you have the BALLS—and humility—to ask. And the fact you want to please her and not just yourself, will make you stand out in her mind. Also, asking/talking to her prevents her mind from wondering and keeps her in the present moment, which will get her closer to mind-blowing bliss.
    • Non-Verbal Communication: for example, if you’re fingering her, place her hand in your palm and ask her to trace circles on your palm and follow her rhythm. If she presses on your palm, you apply pressure; if she eases pressure, so do you. You could even can say, “Hey, squeeze my hand if you like how this feels.” I’ve tried all this first hand and it’s VERY effective, especially if you have a girl who’s on the shy side to talk in bed.

    4. Anticipation
    • 75% of her enjoyment comes from her MIND
    • Soooooo…build a YEARNING within her MIND AND body.
    • DO NOT go straight to her obvious sexual parts or to intercourse. Take a detour, maybe slowly tracing pattern on her skin. OR lean in for a kiss, but don’t kiss her. OR when she’s about to cum, back off and let her finish when YOU want to. TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME before going anywhere near her vagina.
    • Make her BEG for it. Make her LONG for it. Make her ACHE for it. Once you enter her, she'll be so close to orgasm already that making her cum is a cinch. Man, women love this shit…they take pleasure in the process, not the goal. Actually, you know what? Now that I've been doing this, I so much prefer it this way, too. I mean, wouldn’t you prefer to enjoy the taste of your food making the experience last rather than wolfing it down?

    5. No Performance
    • Don’t be perfect. When you watch sex on the big screen it looks all perfect and serious with violins playing in the background, but you don't have to mimic that. Have you ever seen the way your face looks during sex? It ain’t pretty. I’ve also fallen off the bed, bumped heads—there’s a lot of funny clumsy shit that happens during sex. We all know how much women love to laugh and how much that turns them on. So why stop when you're in bed with her (or on the kitchen table or wherever you are)? Play, laugh, have fun, talk during sex. It doesn’t have to be this big dramatic thing where all of a sudden you're not allowed to talk or look each in the eye anymore. WTF, right?
    • Put aside the ego. You’re going to fuck-up. So fucking what? How else are you going to learn? Roll with it and move on. More important than "performing," is leading her, discovering new lands together. That attitude takes a lot of pressure off you and makes us less self-conscious. And without that self-consciousness, now we can make some art.
    • Rather than perform, be together with her.

  • #2
    I just had an illumination last night with a chick and in between bad sex and THE BEST SEX I've EVER HAD. We spoke about these 5 principles.

    You hit it on the fucking spot.

    This is major DHV in the sack. Women will think you are a God.

    Just one question. When is a good time to put on a condom?


    • #3
      i would guess when its time to stick it lol


      • #4
        Best of forum???

        This should be moved to the best of forum section.


        • #5
          These principles are not my own but come from a woman’s perspective. That’s why they ring true. And let me tell you, talking to her about these principles before you're in the sack with her can be great foreplay, too.

          As for when to put a condom on, try this trick: keep a condom underneath the pillow. When it’s time to “stick it,” as Eagle Eye said, you can keep contact with her while you put it on. The mood won’t be broken and the transition into sex will be smooth. (credit Dan Rose)

          Then when you’ve got the glove on, try this out: don’t enter her yet. Rub her clit with your cock. When she begs you to put it in, DON’T DO IT. When YOU’RE ready, just put the tip in, and go in and out real slow for a bit. Then go in like a half inch more and fuck her slowly like this. Then go in another half inch and fuck her slowly. Don’t go in all the way and go gentle and slow. Even when she begs you to put it in all the way, don’t listen to her. The anticipation and sweet torture will drive her fucking wild. Chances are she’ll have an orgasm even before you’re in her all the way. Only after she’s had an orgasm or three and you’re all the way in can you go harder and even think about having an orgasm yourself. After her first orgasm, she’ll probably come quicker after that. Girls are so lucky that they can have multiple orgasms easier than we can (we have to learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm—freaking hard—in order for us to do it). You might even be able to time it so you come in her while she’s coming for the second, third or fifth time. More important than giving her multiple orgasms, though, is the whole process of it, teasing her, saying no, creating desire in her. (credit Naura Hayden in “How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time”)

          And thanks for your comment Nels, it made my birthday.


          • #6
            thats a great post.
            hmm there is a book i read called ' the secrets of sensual love making by tommy leonardi'. guys, you should read this. its awesome!!


            • #7
              Originally posted by Renaissan View Post
              (we have to learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm—freaking hard—in order for us to do it).
              This is not true in all cases.

              I think you'll enjoy this: [url][/url]

              "Although rarer, some males exhibit no refractory period or a refractory period lasting less than 10 seconds"

              I'm still amazed at how other men can't keep doing it after they've cum, it has always been so natural for me to be able to keep going. It does however need more stimulation after the first time and it takes a longer time to cum the more often it happens.


              • #8
                That's freaking awesome Sulfide! You'll have to teach me your trick. I think it's only happened to me one or two times that after I ejaculated I was still hard and was able to keep going. If you're able to do this all the time, mad props, bro. You've got some kind of freaky gift that I'm jealous of!

                But what I was talking about was something else.

                I read your wiki link, and the author of that article kind of mislead. The article used the words orgasm and ejaculation as if they were the same thing. They're not. They are actually two separate functions. You can have lots of orgasms without ejaculating.

                I believe either the Tantrics or the Taoists from the ancient east were the first to discover this. They believed ejaculation caused a loss of chi, or life force, or energy. That's why a lot of us feel so drained and just want to roll over and sleep after ejaculating. They thought to keep a man's potency strong, a man should ejaculate selectively, for instance like once a month or so. Somehow, they discovered a way to keep that orgasmic energy inside the body circulating during orgasm so it's not expended.

                It takes incredible practice and mind over body discipline to achieve this. I practiced this for about 9 months and I'm still not perfect at it. Although I'm still working at it and can have multiple orgasms. I've noticed when I orgasm without cumming, the woman I'm with, her arousal spikes up and pushes her closer to the edge of her orgasm. It also allows her that time to reach orgasm during intercourse.

                So, what I was referring to was being able have an orgasm without spewing. If you can do this you don't even have to worry about the refractory period. You remain hard and can keep going for as long as you want.

                Thanks for clarifying that and for sharing the link, Sulfide.


                • #9
                  I can orgasm around about two-three times after ejaculation and still have it hard, sometimes I can ejaculate twice, but after each time the motivation to continues gets less and less. I can also do the orgasm without ejaculation technique but find after two-three orgasms that I've had enough and just let myself go or don't even bother ejaculating. Chicks however just never seem to lose their drive to keep going, so jealous.


                  • #10

                    I told my primary.. that to make her wail and moan is a huge turn on for me. And the only reason we had sex was because I kissed her entire body.. until she "Accidently" slipped it in ;p


                    • #11
                      Renaissan, I am actually starting a thread on that. Or rather, on keeping your erection, holding your ejaculation, still orgasming, and doing it all night long (and the next day if you please).

                      Part of the trick is - exactly what you posted here, being in the now, in the moment of pleasure and just focused on the sharing. On being together with her. A less important part of the trick are technicalities such as PR muscles training, "start-stop" techniques, etc. Look them up, they work a threat, but the whole thing is a matter of mindset (the ghost and the flame, presence, etc. applies to sexuality the same way it applies to the whole romantic and sensual interaction).

                      Which brings me to the fact that: most of your post, kudos for that gem, applies to women who have "performance anxiety" as well.

                      I have become selective and less inclined on "PUA for numbers" than ever, I am happily enjoying my lady, but I have experience which shows, and tends to generate performance anxiety (I have been called a "mindfuck" recently).

                      Questions of presence, of being together, playing, giving attention and time to foreplay, and increasing arousal gradually as well - well, they all apply to both genders.


                      • #12
                        Great point, Argo. Your point extends even outside the bedroom, too. Women definitely have mucho insecurities and anxieties. When you're on a coffee date or whatever, chances are she's nervous, too, all worried about what you think of her. When you think about it, how many guys suffer from anorexia? Exactly.

                        By the way, definitely familiar with the stop-start techniques. That's a great one.

                        Another one--one of my favorites--is relaxing the muscles around the groin area. It's that tension in that area that puts us over the edge, right? So, just by relaxing those muscles it can help us to last way longer. Deep breathing (versus shallow breaths, which most people tend to take) does nothing but relax the muscles and focus us on this particular woman in front of us here and now.

                        And yeah, Argo, I'd definitely say relaxing applies not just to guys but to the human race in general. Definitely. Haha. In fact, I'm still learning it.

                        `Preciate the kudos, man.


                        • #13
                          great article

                          I mean, wouldn’t you prefer to enjoy the taste of your food making the experience last rather than wolfing it down?
                          actually i really do prefer to wolf down my food, totally serious! LOL.

                          Anyway, great thread.....great points!


                          • #14
                            Believe me, there's definitely a time and a place for wolfin'. LOL

                            Great to hear from you buddy