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  • I need some serious advice

    Right so i had a story with this girl i been casually seeing for a month but she wanted some time and space when she found out about her ex of 3 years seeing someone else. She told me that she really likes me but needs time to sort her head out, so i agreed. A few days after that we spoke normally then the week after i thought things went a bit weird, so i tried to ring her a few times but she wouldn't answer so we texted instead. She told me that why i was being like that, and that i was too keen and clingy and she didn't like it and for that reason she just wants to be friends.....

    So anyways i found out that she been dating this guy. However, i saw this girl at my friend's birthday party and i acted like it was all kool, came and met the group said hi to everyone including her. I didn't give her any attention or anything like that, she tried to initiate convos with me at random points and i responded to that normally. I went to do my thing, i chatted up girls, danced with girls and number closed a latin girl. I wasn't doing it to get her jealous or anything, it's just my thing. The funny thing is that, she invited her date from that week to the party and i was there, she'd been texting him all along the party. He came and i saw her with him. It hurt me all along knowing she went out with this guy and invited him to the party when i was there, it killed me when i was there, but i still danced and acted like i wasn't bothered. I know you guys gona say forget her and move on but trust me it hurts like there is no tomorrow, she obviously did it to annoy me. And speaking the truth, that guy is hated by her friends and he is no way near as good looking as myself, as i'd been told.

    Now my question HOW to i make her want me again? i want her to know it's her loss not mine. I want her to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the pain.

  • #2
    I know you guys gona say forget her and move on
    yes that is right on, lol. Honestly, there is no better remedy than choice, that is the truth whether you like it or not.

    Now my question HOW to i make her want me again? i want her to know it's her loss not mine. I want her to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the pain.
    Just that fact you sound that hurt makes me concerned that you have lost this one for good. You need to get a hold of your emotions. [B]Realize it was YOUR fault, not hers.[/B] You pushed too hard. It wasn't a 'personal' decision on her point. [B]Accepting that is probably your actual first step.[/B] After you realize that she is not doing it on purpose, perhaps you won't feel so hurt. And then you will be able to capitalize on the following ideas.

    These are some additional ideas. Perhaps they will help.

    1) You need to accept that you can't convince her to like you. She has to come to that realization herself
    2) Until she makes that realization, when you are around her, you need to remind her how good she feels around you. And yes, jealousy is also a fantastic tool if you have that at your disposal.
    3) Give her time and space
    4) Go out there and meet other girls! Give yourself the best chance to enjoy yourself, and forget about her.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by subzero View Post
      Just that fact you sound that hurt makes me concerned that you have lost this one for good. You need to get a hold of your emotions. [B]Realize it was YOUR fault, not hers.[/B] You pushed too hard. It wasn't a 'personal' decision on her point. [B]Accepting that is probably your actual first step.[/B] After you realize that she is not doing it on purpose, perhaps you won't feel so hurt. And then you will be able to capitalize on the following ideas.

      .
      Thank you for your response subzero, it's much appreciated. I have cut the long story short, but the actual truth is throughout the time we been dating i was laid back, i wan't clingy or anything, we got on so well until she found about he ex seeing some other girl and realised that she wasn't over him and that she needed time and space. I was annoyed as it's natural so a few days after that i saw her on a night out and saw things were awkward so the next day i tried to ring and ring but no answer then she called me clingy. I do admit that i have pushed it a little in that one day but the truth is i was NEVER like that with her so that's a bit unfair.

      You just said she wasn't doing it on purpose, i mean no one from the people there knew him but she asked him to come around and she was sure that i was gona be there so she was obviously doing it to hurt me but what goes around comes back around? im not being baised or anything but i have slept with someone else not long after she'd called me clingy but i still haven't told her or rubbed it in her face if you know what i mean. It is some hard times and i am getting better and better by day by telling myself if this girl turned out to be like this now then i wonder how things would of been like if we had a serious relationship....

      Comment


      • #4
        I do admit that i have pushed it a little in that one day but the truth is i was NEVER like that with her so that's a bit unfair.
        That very well might be true, I read these kind of fast.
        So fair enough.

        You just said she wasn't doing it on purpose, i mean no one from the people there knew him but she asked him to come around and she was sure that i was gona be there so she was obviously doing it to hurt me but what goes around comes back around?
        These goes way beyond VA, and is kind of philosophical.....but life has taught me without a doubt that people who consistently exhibit bad behavior eventually have it come back too get them. [B]Fine, but why don't you let the universe do its job and take care of that?[/B]
        If your intention is really revenge of sorts, then you really best leave her alone. Every second you continue to stew, she sucks out your energy!
        [B]Instead, harnass that, get motivated, work on your skill set![/B] That is why you are ulimately here right? Not for one girl who very might well have issues. Move on dude, don't waste negative energy on her. If you properly give her space, act like she no longer exists to you and meet other girls, she very well could come back around at some point. And even if she never does, who cares.

        Comment


        • #5
          If your intention is really revenge of sorts, then you really best leave her alone. Every second you continue to stew, she sucks out your energy!
          [B]Instead, harnass that, get motivated, work on your skill set![/B]
          That is why you are ulimately here right? Not for one girl who very might well have issues. Move on dude, don't waste negative energy on her. If you properly give her space, act like she no longer exists to you and meet other girls, she very well could come back around at some point. And even if she never does, who cares.

          Well said subzero and i really do appreciate your time to response for this, i have been trying to get this negative attitude out of my head and it's working, i have been speaking to a few girls to get my head out of the whole thing and to be able to forget about it all. There are the odd bits where something or someone will remind me of her but i'm staying strong and i am VERY determind in mastering my skills on the field. If she does come back i will turn her down like there's no tomorrow, she messed me up once so it's more than likely to happen again.

          One last question for you pal, if you were or ever was in a similar situation how would you manage your time to move on and forget about it? i know they say time is the best solution but sometimes you just feel like i can't wait. Bare in mind that i am a lot better than i was a few days ago, i feel like i am actually letting it go for good now

          Comment


          • #6
            VERY determind in mastering my skills on the field.
            Good! Advice bit 1, refocus your energies in that direction!

            One last question for you pal, if you were or ever was in a similar situation how would you manage your time to move on and forget about it? i know they say time is the best solution but sometimes you just feel like i can't wait. Bare in mind that i am a lot better than i was a few days ago, i feel like i am actually letting it go for good now
            I as well as many others I know have been in similar situations. I am going to answer you knowing what I know now, OK? In a previous life I would have been having the same issues as you, so really man I get it.

            There is absolutely no better remedy than choice, and knowing you have the skillset to make things happen. I might not be able to get every girl, but my percentages are high enough that I do not feel limited. I know if I meet 10 girls, a very decent percentage will be interested in seeing me. [B]So this allows me to not 'force' things and objectively realize "that" person is not the right person for me. So rather than being angry, I can actually let them go with love and respect.[/B]

            So to your answer.
            - Make this your number one priority, or at least you main outlet outside school, work, focus your energies to creatively get better with people
            - If you are REALLY serious (and I say this as someone who knows the real reality).....surround yourself with like-minded people who you can grow with and use as your support network as you better your skillset
            - If you have never worked with a legit trainer, you need to do that. If you are serious, you will want to practice perfect. No book out there will teach you how to get it done. Preferably some time of long term arrangement. Research trainers out there, there are lots of very reputable skilled trainers. Obviously I think we internally have some awesome ones, but it seems Mehow has great one as well, and I have heard good things about LoveSystems. Research!
            - This needs to be approached as if you were attending college. College requires you pay tuition, practice, and work with pros

            That is what I would do! Refocus. Good luck!

            Comment


            • #7
              actually funny enough.....just remembered.....my wing would tell you this himself, there is one girl out there I would attribute to my tipping point where i was fed up with all the chaos of pick up. I had spent all of this time and energy into this one girl to just lose her suddenly. All of a sudden she just cut me off for no real reason.

              I was fucking pissed, lol.

              Thats when I was like fuck this reading shit.....

              a few months later I took my first live VA training.

              I'm a smart dude, well traveled, very educated.....and it turned out after 5 years of reading.....I really had no real idea what I was doing. That is why during 5 years I only had glimpses of brilliance but not consistency. If that is where you are at, its time to make a change!

              that was last February. And now a year later.....I'm a 360 coach, and have even gotten to assist Matador and Discovery with workshops. I've improved my life and am able to help the lives of others.

              Don't waste any time dude, life is too short for shortcuts.

              Make it happen!
              Last edited by subzero; 03-06-2012, 09:50 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by subzero View Post

                There is absolutely no better remedy than choice, and knowing you have the skillset to make things happen. I might not be able to get every girl, but my percentages are high enough that I do not feel limited. I know if I meet 10 girls, a very decent percentage will be interested in seeing me. [B]So this allows me to not 'force' things and objectively realize "that" person is not the right person for me. So rather than being angry, I can actually let them go with love and respect.[/B]

                So to your answer.
                - Make this your number one priority, or at least you main outlet outside school, work, focus your energies to creatively get better with people
                - If you are REALLY serious (and I say this as someone who knows the real reality).....surround yourself with like-minded people who you can grow with and use as your support network as you better your skillset
                - If you have never worked with a legit trainer, you need to do that. If you are serious, you will want to practice perfect. No book out there will teach you how to get it done. Preferably some time of long term arrangement. Research trainers out there, there are lots of very reputable skilled trainers. Obviously I think we internally have some awesome ones, but it seems Mehow has great one as well, and I have heard good things about LoveSystems. Research!
                - This needs to be approached as if you were attending college. College requires you pay tuition, practice, and work with pros

                That is what I would do! Refocus. Good luck!
                Okay Subzero you make some valuable points and when i look at what you said and compare it to my history before and the period after this mess, i don't have problems dating pretty girls, i really DONT think that i am good looking so when i date a pretty girl i get confused to what they are thinkin? in clubs, girls tell me i am cute but the truth is that i don't know if they are just kidding or what. I think it's more to do with my nerves and kind of being shy.

                The other bit is spot on, i wana do that, i wana attend live events and take my game to the next level. I wana be the one teaching students at live events, that's how determind i am to make this game work and i will hit the states this summer to practise it even more. Might be a lot easier there because i assue american girls are attracked to the english accent

                Originally posted by subzero View Post
                actually funny enough.....just remembered.....my wing would tell you this himself, there is one girl out there I would attribute to my tipping point where i was fed up with all the chaos of pick up. I had spent all of this time and energy into this one girl to just lose her suddenly. All of a sudden she just cut me off for no real reason.

                I was fucking pissed, lol.

                Thats when I was like fuck this reading shit.....

                a few months later I took my first live VA training.

                I'm a smart dude, well traveled, very educated.....and it turned out after 5 years of reading.....I really had no real idea what I was doing. That is why during 5 years I only had glimpses of brilliance but not consistency. If that is where you are at, its time to make a change!

                that was last February. And now a year later.....I'm a 360 coach, and have even gotten to assist Matador and Discovery with workshops. I've improved my life and am able to help the lives of others.

                Don't waste any time dude, life is too short for shortcuts.

                Make it happen!
                Being pissed and angry is how i felt and got angry for but after your comments i realised that yeah i am wasting energy, time and focus on one girl that don't deserve me and i know it's her loss, her friends told me that and i know she'll regret it. Time is good at these things.

                Now i want your help to make me part of the highly skilled people like yourself, Matador, Discovery and lets not forget Mystery...

                Comment


                • #9
                  well lets leave it at that then

                  take a few weeks to decide who you'd like to train with, research people within VA or outside VA....you have lots of options!

                  however, after a few weeks, after researching and are pretty conclusive about who you want to train with....
                  [B]if you do want to use VA, contact me directly. I can set it up regardless of who you'd like to train with.[/B]

                  No matter what, good luck! Again, there are a ton of very talented people out there.

                  Taking REAL action guarantees success. Working with a trainer is the only way you can assure yourself you are going to practice perfect.....otherwise you will spin your wheels for years.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Masking your pain by talking to other women creates anger. To you, I would say realize what happened can't be undone. Accept it as if it were your choice. Life will deal with her. Then again, it seems to me that you weren't actually dating her. You may have hanged out. That doesn't mean she's with you.

                    I'm sure you still want her. All those tricks you want to do for her attention will drive you mad. Let it go my friend. There's opportunity out there.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Back from another sarge. Naturals are amazing. I was introduced to one tonight by a PUA, and this dude was supernatural. He was surrounded by 5 girls at the bar, and the energy was ridiculous. I felt like you could see (oh snap NLP do I feel or see?) swirls of energy surrounding that area.

                      Now to answer your question, I feel your pain. There's something important you can do to feel better as quickly as possible. f-close f-close f-close'

                      Make sure you do multiple f-closes, and I mean at least 5 before letting yourself even let the images come back up. Be a whore these next few weeks. If they have to be HB 7 and below, so be it, but make sure you bang a bunch of them, and try to sneak at least one HB 8 in there.

                      If you're looking for more band-aids, there's also some hypnosis exercises to try to remove bad memories. I'll look them up when I wake up.

                      Update: Looks like I forgot to give you those exercises. They're referenced by either John Alexander or Chris Howard, and I believe they come from Tony Robbins. Close your eyes, make the memory very large, bring the picture slowly closer to you as if it's on a cinema screen. Then turn it black and white and now make it slowly drift further and further away from you until it's just a white dot. You hear carnival music in the background as you do this. Now take that white spec of a memory and watch it incinerate as you place it into the sun. I might be missing a few parts, but that's the gist of it.
                      Last edited by jaygame; 03-13-2012, 01:00 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        For as long as making her jealous is your motivation, you're moving for the wrong reasons. You're working for a ghost, not yourself.

                        This answer sucks but it's true; give it time. Better yourself as you will but do so in a way that meets your better human needs not your crazy screeching revenge monkey needs.

                        Comment

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