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  • Doubts about A3 and C1

    Hey guys, I seem to have a couple of problems here with qualifications(A3). It is the most crucial phase of pickup, so I have to make sure I do it correctly...

    Question 1: If I ask a screening question, a girl gives me an IOD, 5sec later, give me an IOI-- this is literally a push-pull from a girl, should I reward or should I punish?
    Let's consider a medium hoop: So, what do you like to do for fun?
    HB: I don't know... (5sec later) Hang out with my friend, I guess?(She's in a smily way)---Last time I took it as an IOI, so I gave her and IOI, followed with an IOD, but I ended up not able to # close.

    Question 2: If a girl jumps through my hoop, after I offer her help, should I reward or should I punish, or there's a third solution?
    For example: So, tell me, what are your two best qualities?
    HB; I don't know ( IOD)
    Me: I can be anything about your personality that you think is good, such as humor, friendly, adventurous, open-minded...
    HB: I am friendly and adventurous.(IOI)

    Here she jumped into my hoop, but I didn't follow with an IOD and DHV,all I did is to give her a further explanation on what I am asking.

    Question 3: When I give a screening question, a girl replies with a ''No'' or ''I don't know'', how should I interpret the response? Should I interpret that as an IOD, or she is just being very honest in her response?

    For example, Are you adventurous?
    HB: No, I don't consider myself adventurous.

    Question 4: I throw a hoop, a girl defy in jumping into my hoop, but offer to jump into another hoop. What should I do?
    For example: So, what do you think is the best ethnicity of people?
    HB: I don't know, but if you as me what is the worst,then I can tell you.
    Me: So, what do you think is the worst?
    HB: I think is jewish.

    In Comfort phase, C1, what should I be doing?
    with routine?Last time,I was in central park, a girl looks very warmed up in the attraction phase, and then I was running a bunch of comfort routines, such as 5 question game, establishing commonality by getting her opinions, she seemed bored after 10min of those little small talk, then she told me she'd to go back and read her book, OUCH!!

    without routine? That's having conversations purely based on small talk, ask a question about her, get a reply, give statements, then ask another question. C1 is about creating connections, however, even though I do talk a lot, and listen intently, I still feel like I am bouncing quickly from one topic to another---feels like the guy with millions of questions
    I feel like when I do that, not that it will bore a target, but it's just not very emotionally stimulating( it's killing the buying temperature)

    So, what's a great way to establish a strong sense of connection quickly?
    And how can you be emotionally stimulating in a natural way, without canned materials?

    Any suggestions are appreciated

    Strength,

  • #2
    Question 1: If I ask a screening question, a girl gives me an IOD, 5sec later, give me an IOI-- this is literally a push-pull from a girl, should I reward or should I punish?
    Let's consider a medium hoop: So, what do you like to do for fun?
    HB: I don't know... (5sec later) Hang out with my friend, I guess?(She's in a smily way)---Last time I took it as an IOI, so I gave her and IOI, followed with an IOD, but I ended up not able to # close.
    I don't consider that part two an IOI. You got more of an IOD with a neutral answer.

    [B]An IOI is real effort.[/B] Something like, "well i love to play a lot of sports and I love reading....OMG btw I just read the most amazing book of my life....blah blah blah.

    That is a real IOI. In my example it is clear she is trying to show you she has worth.

    [B]The other mistake i think you are making here is asking for too much too quickly.[/B]

    I mean if you ask a girl right away, "so what are you really passionate about in life"......you are asking for a lot! If you don't have enough value built, you will get lame answers.

    Question 2: If a girl jumps through my hoop, after I offer her help, should I reward or should I punish, or there's a third solution?
    For example: So, tell me, what are your two best qualities?
    HB; I don't know ( IOD)
    Me: I can be anything about your personality that you think is good, such as humor, friendly, adventurous, open-minded...
    Sorry man, but that sounds try hard. [B] A real qualifying process makes them work for your attention.[/B]

    If they are not willing to make real effort.....they fail.....case closed. Their answers can suck, but if they make effort.....REAL effort....that is all that matters. "I don't know" if not real effort. And then trying to prompt them with something like "come on....i know you have a good answer for me....." basically shows your hand that you are hoping......really hoping that this "works out".

    And when you are outcome dependent....not willing to let her fail.....and dont hold to your qualifiers.......you betray yourself. [B]What good are qualifiers if you are not willing to stick by them and let her fail?[/B]

    Again, hope that didnt come off as too harsh.

    I commend you on the effort you are making. Also I thank you for being a regular participant on this forum. But I think you have a lot of work to do on your qualification process.
    Last edited by subzero; 04-15-2013, 11:25 PM.

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    • #3
      Thanks for replying, Subzero. And I like to visit this forum, learn as much as possible from the community,and return as much as possible to other guys that also needs help.

      I think I understood the point you are making...
      1) If I don't sense that she's really putting in effort, that's an IOD
      2) I can't under normal circumstance, just throw a hoop like ''What do you like to do for fun?, that can be too big a of a hoop, unless I got heavy IOIs first. I should start with something smaller, like a yes/no response. Ex: Are you adventurous? Can you cook? Are you spontaneous? That way, it makes it easy for her to comply. When she does that, I reward her for her good behavior, she got rewarded once, next time she knows it is worth to jump into my hoops, because she'll be rewarded, so she jumps through a bigger hoop by making a good effort.

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      • #4
        yup! now you are on the right track

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        • #5
          Great info!

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          • #6
            After qualification Iget the feeling a person should be building trust.. how and when do we do that?

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