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  • Deep Ego Problem

    This is going to be one of those posts where I'm going deep into my own psych. I don't really like doing this but I feel there's a good reason to this time.

    I've started taking up Krav Maga, which is a self-defense system that allows you to be safe from attacks on the street or from drunks on a night out. It happens every so often, and it only has to do so once for it to hit your confidence/self-esteem.

    With that in mind, I've also been re-living a situation from the past where a gang of 10 lads came to my house to make a point of why I should stay away from people's girlfriends. I was struck in the face a couple of times but there was no lasting damage physically. A couple of years after this, I was full of vodka in a nightclub and I seen the same crew of lads and I caused so much trouble running my mouth that I got hit in the face again. The AMOG (if you like) wouldn't fight me 1v1 and he was trying to get away from me. Much of this is a blur, but his girlfriend and her best friend approached me at some point and were saying "why don't you just leave it?". I cannot remember anything else they or I said, as this was the point where the AMOG got me in the face again.

    Skip another couple of years and I message the AMOG for a 1v1 again and he refuses saying the situation was too long ago for him to care. So I let it lie at that, until he messaged me again a day later and tried to coax another reaction from me (I'm guessing). After this his right-hand-man messaged me taking me up on the offer for the 1v1 but then stopped replying when it came to arranging where to meet up.

    Since I'm learning Krav Maga, and that I still have an ego that rears it's ugly head sometimes, I get thoughts and ambitions of hunting these two down and doing them both in. Krav Maga wasn't made for ambusing people, obviously, but it would work because it ends fights quickly.
    Honestly; when I think of doing it I go completely primitive and the rage swells within me.

    Just looking for feedback. Give me permission to be pissed off with myself.
    I'm also thinking of turning the usable section of this whole thing into a DHV story. Perhaps my 8 year old niece was in bed when they came round my house and started bricking the window?

  • #2
    File a report for assault, battery if assault does not stick. You have plenty of witnesses. Take your pride from seeing them being locked up for a few years, like a true gent.

    I do Krav to, its for self defence. And the reason you did not bail well before you got attacked completely dazzles me. Its about self preservation. If you need to bail on one girl to safe your own ass, DO IT.

    Also a fight against ten people? BE HAPPY TO BE ALIVE. If you'd be in Holland you'd have about 80 stabs by now. Go figure.

    Comment


    • #3
      Do you agree that the diagnosis is correct, and that it's an ego problem?

      It must have been the fault of pure ego in the first place, in order to prove I wasn't scared, that I could go out and face 10 lads eager for a fight and knowing that I had NO chance of winning. I'm thinking either that or I like the adrenaline that certain situations provide. (sometimes I like approaching for the sake of approaching and overcoming AA)

      Comment


      • #4
        Didn't think I would get much feedback on this in all honesty....

        perhaps if I was asking for some impractical philosophical crap I would've got essays for replies....oh well.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Dark Horse View Post
          Do you agree that the diagnosis is correct, and that it's an ego problem?

          It must have been the fault of pure ego in the first place, in order to prove I wasn't scared, that I could go out and face 10 lads eager for a fight and knowing that I had NO chance of winning. I'm thinking either that or I like the adrenaline that certain situations provide. (sometimes I like approaching for the sake of approaching and overcoming AA)
          Go find it somewhere else, in the dojo or go skydiving. (getting your ass beaten DLV's you to... so either way you lose, I'd rather lose unharmed).

          I once got massive attraction for simply saying to a dude, listen bro we're just here to have fun, calm down I'm not looking for trouble.

          Him: FIGHT ME, NOW...HERE...COME ON PUSSY.

          Me: Alright bro listen, I'm not looking for trouble just back off and have fun a'right?

          He walked off.

          I fucked his girlfriend by the end of the night

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by daniellange View Post
            Go find it somewhere else, in the dojo or go skydiving. (getting your ass beaten DLV's you to... so either way you lose, I'd rather lose unharmed).

            I once got massive attraction for simply saying to a dude, listen bro we're just here to have fun, calm down I'm not looking for trouble.

            Him: FIGHT ME, NOW...HERE...COME ON PUSSY.

            Me: Alright bro listen, I'm not looking for trouble just back off and have fun a'right?

            He walked off.

            I fucked his girlfriend by the end of the night
            On the flip-side I could argue that if I stayed holed-up in my own house while said gang bombarded my window with bricks and such is a "major DLV". I could argue that the whole alpha male/tribal leader thing is something more than spouting off "negs" and "C+F" lines in the field. If your tribes area is under attack and you don't do anything, surely you aren't the man?

            Your scenario sounds as though you were in a night game situation, which is completely different. If I met a rival caveman out on the hunt I obviously would gain nothing but a short-term ego boost by fighting him, but if he's attacking my own camp/tribe then it's actually in my S+R interests to face him?

            Which brings me back to my own question, is this an ego problem? Or would the alpha-man do exactly as I did?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Dark Horse View Post
              On the flip-side I could argue that if I stayed holed-up in my own house while said gang bombarded my window with bricks and such is a "major DLV". I could argue that the whole alpha male/tribal leader thing is something more than spouting off "negs" and "C+F" lines in the field. If your tribes area is under attack and you don't do anything, surely you aren't the man?

              Your scenario sounds as though you were in a night game situation, which is completely different. If I met a rival caveman out on the hunt I obviously would gain nothing but a short-term ego boost by fighting him, but if he's attacking my own camp/tribe then it's actually in my S+R interests to face him?

              Which brings me back to my own question, is this an ego problem? Or would the alpha-man do exactly as I did?
              Depends if its one guy I'd find the sharpest stick and make sure he cant use those balls of his for the coming 50 years. If there 2 or more I'd call the police and hang back. Again you could be killed. If you're serious about Krav then you know thats not your preferable outcome.

              There's plenty of girls, but only one life. Dont fuck it up. And no she would not want a guy who goes in against odds that are greatly against him. If you're foolish enough to throw yourself into a group of six, what happends later, if you are married have kids who need their dad. You're confronted you can run but you dont... you confront and you die.

              Now she's a widow.

              There's S value for you sir.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by daniellange View Post
                Depends if its one guy I'd find the sharpest stick and make sure he cant use those balls of his for the coming 50 years. If there 2 or more I'd call the police and hang back. Again you could be killed. If you're serious about Krav then you know thats not your preferable outcome.

                There's plenty of girls, but only one life. Dont fuck it up. And no she would not want a guy who goes in against odds that are greatly against him. If you're foolish enough to throw yourself into a group of six, what happends later, if you are married have kids who need their dad. You're confronted you can run but you dont... you confront and you die.

                Now she's a widow.

                There's S value for you sir.
                Ok generically speaking, what you said is completely true.

                But let me elaborate:-

                -the gang were all my age at the time, which was 17
                -I knew of them (we live in a small town) and knew they weren't criminals/semi-criminals from unstable families, for; I knew their names
                -they knew for a fact that the girl in question had not told me of her boyfriend
                -the only big risk was mob mentality, but since only two of the gang were stood in my immediate vicinity, and the rest were hanging back atleast 10 yards away, this makes it a little less severe. I've seen first hand mob-mentality take-off frighteningly quickly, and the flight response takes over.

                I would guess that you still stand by your own opinion, and that we could be gridlocked in an argument of the correct procedure and etiquette in dealing with a multiple attacker situation...but I must remind you: you are not my Krav Maga instructor and you are not my bodyguard - you are a fellow PUA. This is an inner game issue.

                Was I going out there to prove how tough I was? Was it pure ego?
                And you can say yes, for I know ego is bad and I'm trying to not let it take over...especially in situations such as these.

                It might also be worth remembering that Mystery once said that the Venusian Arts and Fighting/Martial Arts have many parallels.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The things you named is enough to lock them up for AT LEAST three to five years, maybe even fiveteen. That classifies them as criminals to me.

                  You have your point and obviously you're free to choose whichever direction you want. I intend no lecture what so ever. I just give you my knowledge and wisdom, what you do with it is up to you.

                  As for me not being your Krav teacher, I think you'll later find that I am, everybody that practices Krav is. We're doing it together, there is no competition, only progress.

                  I'll stand by the point that if you go into a fight and lose you lose, you win you lose, you do nothing you lose. And if you look them up you loose x4. I'd rather loose with my ass and face intact.



                  On top of that, you can reframe to look alpha, the one that fights is beta.

                  Dont believe me? Check this out: [url]http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/alphabehavior.htm[/url]

                  What if THEY beat you up, THEN call the cops. And evidence is found you looked them up *cough this forum*

                  You're looking at 3-5 years for fellony assault and your ass beaten. I'm sure chicks will love you for it.

                  That's all.
                  Last edited by daniellange; 01-24-2012, 10:30 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by daniellange View Post
                    The things you named is enough to lock them up for AT LEAST three to five years, maybe even fiveteen. That classifies them as criminals to me.

                    You have your point and obviously you're free to choose whichever direction you want. I intend no lecture what so ever. I just give you my knowledge and wisdom, what you do with it is up to you.

                    As for me not being your Krav teacher, I think you'll later find that I am, everybody that practices Krav is. We're doing it together, there is no competition, only progress.

                    I'll stand by the point that if you go into a fight and lose you lose, you win you lose, you do nothing you lose. And if you look them up you loose x4. I'd rather loose with my ass and face intact.



                    On top of that, you can reframe to look alpha, the one that fights is beta.

                    Dont believe me? Check this out: [url]http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/alphabehavior.htm[/url]

                    What if THEY beat you up, THEN call the cops. And evidence is found you looked them up *cough this forum*

                    You're looking at 3-5 years for fellony assault and your ass beaten. I'm sure chicks will love you for it.

                    That's all.
                    Ok, lol.
                    This situation happened in the PAST. I am NOT going to go and hunt any of these people down and ambush them. The point I'm making is that I keep re-living the situation and it [B]still[/B] annoys me that they would come all the way to my house 10-15 strong just to make a point.
                    Surely you know as one who is into the Venusian Arts and Exploring Humanity (although perhaps you aren't, and you're just picking up girls with canned material, I don't know) that when someone does something like this to you, it's natural to want revenge. But is it? That's the question I'm actually asking. You see whenever I've been in a situation like this the natural response is to run if possible, as it is with everyone. So is revenge, (i.e. looking for trouble) just pure ego?
                    Is it just "fuck that I'll show them. I'm no pussy".

                    To clarify:-
                    If you've ever read any inner-game material you may have come across the teacher/instructor/philosopher talking about the difference between the ego and self-esteem.
                    Was I under any evolutionary pressure (i.e. the maintenance of my self-esteem) to go out and face a gang of idiots throwing bricks at my front window, or was I just being overly-bold and egotistical?

                    I've already lived through this situation and I've seen how much of a DLV it was, and I got a wack in the face for my troubles.
                    Although I appreciate the reinforcement all the same.

                    And surely you could agree that with a few minor tweaks; this could be a good DHV story? Protector of loved one's could be added to it. Pre-selection and an inadvertent leader of men is in there. What say you?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Now thats clear language.

                      Yes it would make a good story.

                      Yes people want revenge, though I'm sort of utilistic, best revenge is the one that brings the same amount of damage to them as they did to you. Though beating them up aint easy. Getting them locked away for a while is a good compensation. Hence the punishment would be more fit for the crime, and my revenge is complete.

                      And if you live in one of those states where you can shoot someone attacking you in your domestic enviorment, go for it :P

                      In all honesty, it might be ego, I think its just a human craving for revenge. Mine is just a little more sophisticated I guess

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by daniellange View Post
                        Now thats clear language.

                        Yes it would make a good story.

                        Yes people want revenge, though I'm sort of utilistic, best revenge is the one that brings the same amount of damage to them as they did to you. Though beating them up aint easy. Getting them locked away for a while is a good compensation. Hence the punishment would be more fit for the crime, and my revenge is complete.

                        And if you live in one of those states where you can shoot someone attacking you in your domestic enviorment, go for it :P

                        In all honesty, it might be ego, I think its just a human craving for revenge. Mine is just a little more sophisticated I guess
                        It's an interesting article that you posted.
                        Within it; I've found what I was looking for.

                        [I][B]This concept is especially applicable in a street confrontation, where fear of perceived loss of 'respect' will often motivate a beta (who is trying to convince everyone he is an alpha) to over react.[/B][/I]

                        Know that AMOGs and fighting etc. is one area that confused me. Coming out on top/alpha against a female is fine because she is predisposed to let you. She WANTS you to be that way. But AMOGing is different. Will have to go down as a sticking point.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I respect you for being able to acknowledge that. And you're welcome .

                          Talk to lovedrop about Amogging, he's the king.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Luckily in Texas we can carry concealed handguns. I would have told the dude alright if you wish to assault me go ahead. (Pull out Sig 40 caliber.. wait for ambulance to come get his corpse) A simple assault can lead to brain damage if he hits you in the head, you never know what will happen with a head wound man.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm not sure what the rules on owning a firearm are here in the UK. I'm fairly certain they're only allowed for hunting.

                              Being able to defend your property in such a way sounds like the way forward to me though.

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