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  • back to basics...whats going wrong?

    okay apologies if this sounds a bit whiney but seriously i just dont get it. i've been trying to improve my game for months with very minor/limited successess. i just dont understand what signals or something i'm giving off thats just making women run a mile.

    i'm smart, well educated, , in decent shape, funny (apparently not bad looking) and all of male's in my social circle really like me. but when it comes to the females i get nothing and i dont know why. granted i'm a little bit low on confidence and suffer from a little 'nive guy' syndrome but there's got to be something else as well surely. i'm coming to 25 now and my 'game' still sucks....starting to feel like if i dont get it now i never will and its not a good feeling.

    it seems like everytime i attempt to open a girl/group i get shut down before i can even get a chance to show my wit or charm or anything really. and for some reason girls in my social circle dont even seem to register me as a potential. for example a recent social group i went with had a mix of boys n girls, the girls would all initiate dancing/kino with the other guys but not me...unless i initiated them first. clearly i'm LV with the girls even though i'm reasonably HV with the guys strangely enough though on the few rare occasions when i get past some initial barriers and get into a 1 on 1 relaxed convo with a girl (outside the circle) it goes pretty well, they all comment on how witty i am and i at the very LEAST get a number/fb close. but those occasions are rare as i cant get past initial barriers very often.

    i dont get it...its got to be a body language or inner game thing right? unless i really am just not very good looking. i dont know what to change or how to go about it. its not a nice place to be, particularly at my age and obviously its destroying whatever confidence i have. how can i build inner game and confidence from virtually nothing. feeling pretty crap about it now and in all honesty at this rate i'm going to start resenting women .

    any advice, help, material ...anything would be helpful. feel free to ask more specific details if u need as well.

  • #2
    It's the confidence!

    Dont you worry, the problem is your inner game, or at least that's the impression i get. The reason i tell you to not worry is because that you can change how you think, not neccesarily how you look.
    Confidence isn't that hard to get your hands on, 'cus the only person in the world who can make you confident is yourself. This may sound stupid, but the times when im most confident is when im looking at myself in the mirror listning to my favourite tunes, rapping along and just smiling to myself. This is because I can provide all the confidence I will ever need from myself.
    Actually it's a self strengthning effect. You give yourself confidence, which makes you better around girls, which gives you more confidence, which makes you better with girls.

    You my friend, have a problem that only you, yourself can solve. But i do have one tip for you. If your problem is the initial barriers, you need to make yourself comfortable around girls. I have been lucky, I have always had female friends, some of them were girls who had friend-zoned me, but that didn't matter, I realized that I would benifit more from having them as close friends than I would by creeping them out. This made it easy to talk to girls, and I now have a bunch of girls who are ready to change pants around me because they know I won't go all out trying to hit on them for it. GET FEMALE FRIENDS!

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    • #3
      Never lose confidant and always be a man ....

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mysteryman View Post
        okay apologies if this sounds a bit whiney but seriously i just dont get it. i've been trying to improve my game for months with very minor/limited successess. i just dont understand what signals or something i'm giving off thats just making women run a mile.
        i'm smart, well educated, , in decent shape, funny (apparently not bad looking) and all of male's in my social circle really like me. but when it comes to the females i get nothing and i dont know why. granted i'm a little bit low on confidence and suffer from a little 'nive guy' syndrome but there's got to be something else as well surely. i'm coming to 25 now and my 'game' still sucks....starting to feel like if i dont get it now i never will and its not a good feeling.
        That's me. Beyond that, I've had girls tell me I'm a 10. I also had a shit load of friends in school before my gf senior year made me into an insecure wimp, and The Game got me worse before it got me better. Just understand you're in company. Also, I'm still getting better.... I think a lot of problem is inaction, and that may be yours as well.

        Go out and approach women. I think someone above me said "get female friends!" and that's prob what I need to do as well... problem being that I grew up with two sisters who talk about this shit all the time. That's barely made me better, if at all.

        So it's a bit different than that. I knew all kinds of girls that IOIed the shit otu of me over the years and I just don't what the fuck to do. So, together you and me gotta stay in contact and try different ideas buddy.

        [B]We're in the same boat.
        [/B]

        Tomorrow I'm gonna approach every women I see. I'm gonna [B]neg[/B] one thing that is [B]sexual[/B] in nature. For instance, "You have great boobs!" to a girl that does not. This is funny, a neg, and the sexuality I hope will get me more in the sexual mindset. I never have that mindset with girls, and I think that's both of our problem. I've learned so much to be a gentleman I don't know how to actually fuck chicks!

        Anyway, that's what I'm gonna try tomorrow. IF you have any ideas and you try them out, bring it back to this thread and we'll discuss.


        it seems like everytime i attempt to open a girl/group i get shut down before i can even get a chance to show my wit or charm or anything really. and for some reason girls in my social circle dont even seem to register me as a potential. for example a recent social group i went with had a mix of boys n girls, the girls would all initiate dancing/kino with the other guys but not me...unless i initiated them first. clearly i'm LV with the girls even though i'm reasonably HV with the guys strangely enough though on the few rare occasions when i get past some initial barriers and get into a 1 on 1 relaxed convo with a girl (outside the circle) it goes pretty well, they all comment on how witty i am and i at the very LEAST get a number/fb close. but those occasions are rare as i cant get past initial barriers very often.
        In this instance you just need to be willing to comment in passing. You're charming but not charismatic. You can't really teach charisma, it's the by-product for me of exuberance, energy, and humor. I used to be great with guys and now that I apply with girls it works, just get an opener in mind and go for it. If they're laughing 90% of the time you're money

        i dont get it...its got to be a body language or inner game thing right? unless i really am just not very good looking. i dont know what to change or how to go about it. its not a nice place to be, particularly at my age and obviously its destroying whatever confidence i have. how can i build inner game and confidence from virtually nothing. feeling pretty crap about it now and in all honesty at this rate i'm going to start resenting women .

        any advice, help, material ...anything would be helpful. feel free to ask more specific details if u need as well.
        Dude, it's got nothing to do with looks. Get that in your head now. I'm a fucking 10 according to most girls, confirmed by my sisters(they have no reason to lie), but am an 18 going on 19 year old VIRGIN. In terms of your body language, fix it first and the emotions will come second. I don't know what your personality is but just be an alpha. Easier said then done I know, go check out the body language book on amazon... the one with a red cover is great

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        • #5
          ye it kinda good to know that atleast i'm not the only one. i'm pretty sure its an inner game thing with me, i need to change my whole deminor. my body language, posture and even voice projection gives away my lack of confidence. any practice i've done doing is mainly night game (club/bar) and thats tough with limit confidence...i might have to try some day game instead. i'm sorta hoping that my softer/charming approach may work better in the day. its just pretty difficult to get confdence from limited success and coming from an insecure position. i'm also trying fb to test a few things but that seems more about numbers as you dont get too many replies.

          if i see any improvements, or get any successes with material or any major fails i'll post back here for discussion mate.

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          • #6
            Seems like we are in the same boat...

            I have decided to drink copius amounts of coffee before pick up. By doing this I will be extremely energetic and manic, plus very talkative. You must kill your ego, it will help a ton man. If I lived near you I would sarge with you. Try the coffee thing it may or may not help but its worth a shot.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by ozarka4570 View Post
              I have decided to drink copius amounts of coffee before pick up. By doing this I will be extremely energetic and manic, plus very talkative. You must kill your ego, it will help a ton man. If I lived near you I would sarge with you. Try the coffee thing it may or may not help but its worth a shot.
              hah, Red bull works better man

              ah houston, yeah far away.

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