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  • Bartender Debacle

    I'm a newbie that has left the game and is reentering. This is about a bar tha I go to because it's very local and convenient and because there are alot of chicks that are hired guns. I'll explain what it is that they do.

    [B]Day 1.[/B] A few weeks ago before I decided to reenter, I met a bartender. I gave off too many IOI's but the conversation was cool. She spoke to me about how she's in school, mentions a BF before the IOI's, very AFC of me. We did chat for over an hour or so. There was no one else at the bar, just her and I the whole time.

    The type of bar that she works in is one of those bars where there are women that work as mere company and guys buy them drinks to keep them company. After watching season one of "The Pickup Artist" and seeing Mystery take the boys to a strip joint, I wanted to use the same tactic.

    [B]Still day 1.[/B] Before that, however, when I talked to her that day, I did buy her a drink. And that will be the last time I do that if I'm to be in this game. But being that she was a bartender she could not sit next to me like the hostess's do. I told her afterwards that I would be back for her. Sort of made it an issue that I would.

    [B]Day 2.[/B] I went back, but this time not for her, but to game chicks. Talked to a girl with a BF which explained to me why there were no IOI's. The bartender (mentioned at the opening of this message) on [B]Day 1[/B] was there, but I played a really good act as if I had a lot of stuff on my mind and ignored her until she drew my attention, we had a little verbal exchange, nothing deep.

    [B]Still Day 2.[/B] That was before I spoke to the hostess with the BF that I tried to game (I did not buy her a drink). The chick I tried to game showed maybe some IOIs, I even got her to say after I made a comment that I can tell that she's the type that goes all out for her parents, "How do you know this aobout me?" It's like she felt that I read her mind. But no # because of the BF.

    [B]Day 3.[/B] When I went back the next day, the bartender chick was there. She suddenly became very rude and indifferent, however. It took almost ten minutes to get her attention and to have her get me my beer. I was really sort of pissed in that I was trying to get her attention to ask her something and she ignored me constantly.

    [B]Back to Day 2.[/B] Now my ignoring her the previous day was because of all of the shit that was on my mind, sure it was contrived but there was sort of real stuff going on there. There was a total AFC next to me with some chick trying to kiss her and she resisted to the point where she leaned heavily on me. So I moved over to the hostess with the BF that I mentionrd earlier.

    [B]Back to Day 3.[/B] So I left the bartender a note telling her that her I didn't want to be a dick and tell on her boss, but her service really lacked courtesy and respect and made me feel uncomfortable and that I felt that she owed me an apology. I left a tip with the note since she did serve me the first beer at least, perhaps too big a tip $5. I may have DLV'd in that I said in the note that she almost ruined my night.

    How should I have best handled this situation? And I'm wondering if I should go back occasionally to game other chicks there since it's so close to where I live. There are other bars in my area like that I think. Seriously, I would have had the hostess I spoke to on Day 2. had it not been for having a BF. She looked like she wanted to IOI.

  • #2
    Okay man. I gotcha on this one.

    1. Sure, go back there. She's just a hired gun, hit on patrons there if it's a ripe gaming environment.

    2. As I read written by someone great; sometimes there just isn't a way. There's a term for it, but it essentially means no matter what you do, unless you're an ultra veteran, you won't close (because of BF or distance or whatever unsnuffable obstacle).
    In this case, I personally would have not IOI'd so much, or bought her a drink at all, or worst of all, written her a whiney note. That was bad. But you know this already. Most of everything you did was pretty AFC.
    If you haven't already, pick up The Mystery Method book, read the fuck out of it. It really put perspective on my game and gave me a good framework and what to do when _________ happens.


    • #3
      Here is a female perspective..

      You should come back in a week or two and always tip the bartender a little more then your suppose because it shows courtesy and as a professional bartender who gives great service to a customer we wouldn't give great service to someone who doesn't tip well because its a waste of our efforts..

      Try to strike an opinion opener to her because if the bartender is busy and have the same routine of hi whats your name, how is work, when do you finish she will get bored. She will be impressed by how different you are and be friendly.. don't come on too strong and gaming other girls in front of her probably wouldn't be a great idea because she is standing in the middle of the bar and if she is interested she will keep an eye out for you and may identify you as a player instead of being jealous... If you are going to flirt with other girls i suggest it should be light..
      Last edited by aphrodite; 08-27-2010, 01:59 AM.


      • #4
        firstly stop

        What you have to do is relax and step back and not become a drama queen. Threatening to tell the boss over a bad service (because she ignored you), show's you have insecurities. Who cares about this girl, that's how you have to see it. You making this girl seem as if she is your soul mate... she's a bartender. Tell me this? what qualites has she shown or portrayed to you that makes unique or even someone that you see marrying.

        Go back to the joint if it's good, next time you see her say, "are we cool?".
        Never tip to the extreme, i don't know how much you guys give but we don't give shit in australia. That's how you end up broke and a broke dick is not in the wanted listed for most women .