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  • "I am Lancelot" = Interesting Sarge & F-Close

    So it is now Wednesday(clost to 2am), and I just got back home from an awesome Tuesday night sarge.
    Quick introduction: Some drunk old guy drove his car into an electric pole across the street from where I live AT 3:30 IN THE AFTERNOON! ON A TUESDAY! lol.....So I had no power, and they said that it would take until midnight or so to get power going again. So I decided, why not go to a bar and sarge. Glad I did.

    My Night:

    I love to mess with girls. I rarely give out my real name when meeting them. I more often than not say my name is Flex, and for some reason girls get excited about this.

    However, most recently I have had extreme success with using random names from legends, myths, and folklore. lol

    I started doing this just because I was bored and wanted to totally fuck with this one girl that approached me. Beware: This demands a strong frame.

    So I'm at a pretty quiet bar, and luckily one of my buddies didn't have work the next day, so he was cool enough to come down and have a few drinks with me and hang out.

    So this girl comes up to me, and taps me on the shoulder, while I'm sitting on a bar stool. *tap, tap*

    Her: Hey
    Me: Hey
    Her: Do I know you?
    Me: *rolls eyes* Is that the best pickup line you could come up with? Geez.(It's always on)
    Her: Haha, what? No. Is anyone sitting here?
    Me: *before she sits down* No, but I'll warn you, the last person that sat there is now crazy about me. Careful now.
    Her: Psh, I was actually just trying to get a drink at the bar. *sinister smile*
    Me: OMG, you're ALREADY trying to buy me drinks and get me drunk. I warned you about sitting there, but I thought you had a fighting chance, guess not. You're already head over heels.
    Her: Haha, I'm not buying YOU a drink. Who was the last person that sat here before me?
    Me: Some homeless guy. He was quite the charmer, but not my type. haha
    Her: Haha, oh I feel bad, he probably really liked you. haha
    Me: Yah, it was borderline creepy, but I didn't want to give up my seat. Best seat in the bar right here.
    Her: What is your name?
    Me: Lancelot
    Her: OMG, haha, liar!
    Me: My name is Lancelot. *proud face*
    Her: You're weird.
    Me: Hey, anymore of that tone, and I'm SO going to sword fight you.
    Her: Haha, I'd win. *sticks her tongue out at me*
    Me: Psh, you wouldn't stand a chance missy. Quick question: On a scale from 1 to......777 how adventurous are you?
    Her: haha, um....777!
    Me: Wow...a gold medalist, amazing. How about you order two shots of tequila and we'll see if you can live up to that. We'll do them the Lancelot way.
    Her: Haha, okay. *order two shots of tequila*(awesome, that was easy)
    Her: So what are we doing now?
    Me: We're gonna take these shots the Lancelot way.
    Her: How do you do that?
    Me: You just shove it down your throat and swallow, haha.(Thank you Keys To The VIP)
    Her: Haha, you are crazy. *gulp*

    To be honest, I don't remember much afterwards while we were at the bar, except that she bought two more shots each for us and we did them both the Lancelot way. lol
    Then later she kept hinting that she wanted to go back to her place and "sword fight". Which I knew exactly what she meant.

    My buddy told me that we were only talking for like half an hour, and then stumbled around the bar together for another five minutes and then left like a pair of drunk high schoolers. lol

    Luckily she lived just down the street. So I proceeded to be an ass, and made her give me a piggy back ride for a whole block, then carried her the rest of the way. lol

    Well, needless to say, we did in fact finally get back to her place. Before I even got in the door, I fell down on the ground, tripping over her fucking cat. lol, it was awesome. We were both drunk. So we are pretty much sucking each other's faces, and running into shit everywhere.

    We get into her bedroom and she is like totally into the Lancelot, swordfighting thing and says something along the lines of
    Her: Do you carry a big sword?
    Me: Haha, I don't know, do you have good dental insurance? (thanks to whoever it was that posted this response, a response to my thread that read: Shittest: Do you have a big penis?)

    So we proceed to do the deed, and I went home a knight of the round table. lol

    P.S. This has completely inspired me to sarge on weekdays, big time!

    Last edited by Flex; 11-28-2007, 02:13 AM.

  • #2
    hilarious and totally competent sarge and pick up. Some very useful lines there as well.



    • #3
      winner!! 10/10


      • #4

        I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post... Your brand of funny reminds me of me a little bit (Haha- "between one and 777") Keep sarging man! good luck...


        • #5
          superman that ho. nicely done man


          • #6
            Big ass grin on my face.

            Thanks for posting. Very usable stuff.


            • #7
              Originally posted by CrazyWilly
              Well, I'm having a good chuckle, any idea if you ever actually told her your name? Or does she think she slept with Lance-A-lot?
              Haha, well I did happen to tell her my real name after we had sex. She never asked until after anyways, lol. I got her number too. I sent her a text today that said:

              Me, Text: "So ya, you totally raped me last night."
              Her, Text: "haha, you can't rape the willing."

              We are supposed to go to a comedy club this weekend. Which is tight. Wish me luck.



              • #8
                that was awesome man. congrats on the F close. keep sarging. tonight my wingmen Wolf and Rush are going sarging. i will update !!!!


                • #9
                  Nice, nice, nice, nice. I like your brand of humor, it's quite unique, and i can find alot in common with it actually. Way to go on the weekday sarge. If it wasn't for that drunk man who hit the light pole, lol.


                  • #10
                    hey man you killed the scene, very wonderful job.