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  • What if to her age matters? Im older :(

    HI ALL

    Ive been superly clicking with a girl, im 33 shes 21, but basically shes kinda ended the connection we have cos of this age difference

    Does age really matter?

    Thank you

  • #2
    Originally posted by The_Jester
    [FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="Red"]One of my friends from high school was in a 3-year relationship with a guy 15 years her senior when she was 21. There's plenty of success stories.

    If you can bridge the generation differences, I'd say go for it.

    But if her buying temperature is gone and she's clearly bothered by the age gap, there's no point in kicking a dead horse. Remember the Abundance Mentality. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
    bridge the generation differences, how? and abundance mentality?

    Comment


    • #3
      i think age plays a factor when girls think that the age gap will affect the ability to go out and have fun. once people have passed their prime, they're deemed no longer fun. you need to keep the spontaneity alive, show her that you can roll with the punches.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ViceSD View Post
        i think age plays a factor when girls think that the age gap will affect the ability to go out and have fun. once people have passed their prime, they're deemed no longer fun. you need to keep the spontaneity alive, show her that you can roll with the punches.
        thanks bro, i think she loves my personality, which is great

        Its weird cos she will say other guys are fit and she fancies them, then will say i got the personality that won her over, and yeah i do make her wet and give her goosebumps and she has said i was fit when i was younger so does that mean she doesnt fancy me?

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        • #5
          well if you're on the chubby side and she's fit, there's gonna be a gap there.
          maybe suggest working out together (going for runs/walks around the park to start off and if you have a puppy major +++++)
          show you can be active like the guys she fancies. but also show you have the personality that drew her to you in the first place.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by ViceSD View Post
            well if you're on the chubby side and she's fit, there's gonna be a gap there.
            maybe suggest working out together (going for runs/walks around the park to start off and if you have a puppy major +++++)
            show you can be active like the guys she fancies. but also show you have the personality that drew her to you in the first place.
            Thanks bro yeah, im gnna be getting into the gym and working out majorly now

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            • #7
              see if you can get into sparring/kickboxing
              my wing is doing a trial at a gym that offers it and says there's tons of HBs.
              plus, you could get her to work out with you and get that kino

              Comment


              • #8
                Younger Girls and Older Guys

                This can happen a lot with younger girls. The best advice to be given is, be the best you can be, and be the best for YOU. Exercise is great; you'll feel better, have more energy, and it even has a good effect on the mood. Looking better is an obvious plus too. But don't to it just to please her. Do it because you want the quality of your life to improve.

                She's definitely made it clear she likes you; your personality and judging by the 'wet' comment you probably do it for her sexually too. She's just looking for the eye candy that she gets when she's around other guys her age that are in good shape. Once you get yourself nice and fit, you'll be the whole package for her, and she'll lack nothing. Don't sweat it!

                If she's not patient enough to give you time to shape up and it's that big of a deal to her, she'd be doing you a favor by ridding you of herself if she's like that.

                Comment


                • #9
                  My last little thing was with a girl who was 21 at the time (I'm 32). She brought up the age thing a couple times and I asked her about her bra size a couple times. If she wants to talk numbers then let's both get some info we want, right?

                  The fact is, I learned a few things about this issue since I triumphed over it like it was nothing even though I had moments where I wondered if it would be a deal-breaker at some point. Here's what I learned:

                  1) Don't ever react to any age-related issues. By the 2nd day this girl was calling me grandpa and old man as cute nicknames/loving negs. The odd thing is that I kinda liked it. It was a new one at least. If you don't care, she won't be able to make a big deal out of it. Never let it upset you, it's just numbers.

                  2) Know MORE about pop culture and what 'the kids' are doing than she does. I had to school this chick on all sorts of shit and believe me she kept doing double-takes when I would talk about music, movies, books (she reads so this actually counted for something), youtube videos/channels, video games, internet memes, slang, etc. that she wasn't aware of. This is HUGE. If you don't like to know what's up in pop culture then maybe this isn't worth your time because I really don't think you should do this if it doesn't interest you. There are plenty of women out there. But if you actually enjoy being up on things like I do, it's a huge benefit. I mean, how can she call you old if you know more about what's up than she does?

                  3) Talk like you aren't some old creepy business dude that's boring as shit. I talk basically the same way as I did when I was 21. That's not a sign of lack of progress, I just like to keep it real. I have a huge vocabulary and a love of language so I don't talk like an idiot, but a sentence that contains a quote from a shakespeare play and "fuckin 'a dude!" is not too out of the ordinary for me. The combination is laid-back and cool but also smart, well-informed, and worldly. If you talk like an old man, you pretty much are one and she's gonna pick up on that.

                  4) BE WILLING TO DO FUN SHIT! More willing than she is. If her idea of fun is going out to a club to dance to her favorite house dj, then your idea of fun better be something that kinda freaks her out and excites her at the same time like surfing or jumping out of an airplane or something along those lines. By the way, if you say "Hey, let's go skydiving" A) you better mean it B) if she says yes, you better do it C) you have a 90% chance she'll say no way, but think you're insanely cool for putting that idea out there. Proof that you are NOT in fact a boring old man, which leads me to my last learning point:

                  5) Don't BE a boring old man! Pretty simple. If your idea of a nice day is going to work then unwinding in front of the tv with a beer/glass of wine/glass of booze then give up on this idea or start looking for extremely boring young chicks. Also as everyone has already stated--you better be healthy, fit, and full of energy. Put her to shame on that. Make sure she has to struggle sometimes to keep up. Put the shoe on the other foot and make her start wondering if SHE is the old one.

                  For the record, I was really into this girl and would have been in serious LTR mode if she had been willing to live up to my standards. Unfortunately she wasn't interested in resolving some standing issues she had with an ex boyfriend and her mother so I cut her loose. But if she'd been a little more emotionally mature (not age-related, just life-experience related) I certainly would have stayed with her. She really is awesome. Oh, well I got some great lessons and I hope they're of some help to anyone dealing with this age thing.

                  Oh, and one more thing: avoid phrases like "When I was your age," "back in my day," or "In the 70s when I was in high school" etc. It may be true, but it doesn't need to be phrased in a way that makes her think you're older than a dinosaur's great great grandpa.
                  Last edited by Orion Raley; 03-24-2012, 02:44 AM.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by AdamUK View Post
                    thanks bro, i think she loves my personality, which is great

                    Its weird cos she will say other guys are fit and she fancies them, then will say i got the personality that won her over, and yeah i do make her wet and give her goosebumps and she has said i was fit when i was younger so does that mean she doesnt fancy me?
                    I once dropped a really sweet, pretty girl who was too chubby for me. She lost all the weight and became a fucking knockout. Another guy got in on that during her big transformation period and now they're getting married. Kudos to him for sticking with her.

                    The moral here is that people can change. If your girl likes fit guys and you want to get fit, ask for her advice on how to do it. If she sees you making an effort, she may stick with you as you get in shape.

                    Do if for yourself though, not just to impress her. And if she doesn't stick with you, you can always move on.

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                    • #11
                      My long term bf is 10 years older than me, so age isn't an issue. It's just a polite excuse to say that something else is turning her off.

                      I agree to some tips mentioned earlier, like
                      be willing to be fun & spontaneous
                      be aware of current pop culture/technology/trends
                      have some sort of shtick- for my partner, he's an artist who spend the best of his youth as an up and coming graffiti artist. Major cool points? Definitely. He later woo'd me by doing many portraits of me and showing me his old portfolio.
                      Nowadays i'm woo'd by meeting his older friends who are all pretty successful now too. It makes me feel like i'm part of a really great network- not just a bunch of stoner/party/slacker kids who are my age.

                      The worst is using your age as an excuse to not do something together. Like if she wants to go biking, and you joke that you're too tired/old. Thats a BIG no no.
                      Or not keeping up with your wardrobe or becoming too complacent with your willingness to go on outdoor/night life adventures.

                      If you've already experienced a party life (or whatever) and she hasn't, suck it up and re-experience it again! And refrain from making any negative comments about it. Because if you aren't a willing partner for her adventures, she'll find someone else who will be.

                      Other than that, i'd say age is actually to your benefit when in bed together. It's a definite social taboo and can be used as positive/kinky energy for sexual encounters :]

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