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Kelevra
04-06-2008, 06:23 AM
Ok i have been trying to get a finger on this on my own for awhile, but the fact is i just dont know if this happens to anyone else or not. Or if it even happens to me at all...

But it dawned on me one day when out bowling with some friends. One of the ladies brought a girlfriend. The girl sat down with us and (so long ago i cant be POSITIVE) IOI'd me with hair flip and double take (is that IOI?)

Anyway we do the intro and i dont run any game cause i had none (before game) but i noticed that they were talking to eachother, across the table, and the new girl mentions "... bla bla bla my boyfriend". I noticed because they were already friends, and after that she never mentioned the word boyfriend again, she used his first name. Which they both already knew.

So it seemed like she was stating for no reason that she had a boyfriend.

Since then iv been noticing it a lot. Girls talking to friends or on the phone and throw the word BOYFRIEND out there when im obviosly close enough to hear. And i dont document it all the time cause it comes out of the blue. But i swear i get IOI'd majority of the time.

Latest example is after class a month ago, eye contact across the room. More then once. Walking back to our cars im talking to a friend and she is in front of us. Im thinking of opening her when she gets a phone call and again not talking to me but her friends "... bla bla bla ya my boyfriend bla bla bla".


My questioon is that... is this another IOI? Is it a challenge? Is it a statement of preselection? Do i just creep them out? Am i a threat? Or are they attracted. Or am i conveying too much interest with BL and is it an IOD?


Does anyone notice this? Its generally i notice it the most when they are NOT talking to me, but near me. Talking to people who normally use his real name in conversation, but use boyfriend in your presance, and prehaps revert back to his name like in my first example. Am i alone on this one or does anyone know what im talking about?

Hotspur
04-06-2008, 06:04 PM
But it dawned on me one day when out bowling with some friends. One of the ladies brought a girlfriend. The girl sat down with us and (so long ago i cant be POSITIVE) IOI'd me with hair flip and double take (is that IOI?)


Two things:

1) You need to be careful about IOIs very early in a set, before someone has reason to be attracted to you. A lot of women throw fake IOIs out there to lure men in, to validate their self-esteem.

2) I've certainly had girls use the gratuitous "boyfriend" reference as an IOD. Quite frankly, I consider it appropriate behavior from a woman who's been flirting with me for a while but doesn't want it to go farther. Don't lead me on.

But ... it may also be demonstrating preselection. Does preselection work on men as well as it does on women? I don't know. But certainly a hot, interesting, emotionally-healthy girl is going to have a lot of options, and may feel that being single is a DLV in some way.

Kelevra
04-06-2008, 11:54 PM
Decibel- i hear you on that one. I do exactly that, i adjust my game accordingly. I never actually take it as the holy grail of IOD's. Its just info i need to game them proper.

But im not listening exactly. Its before i start the chat, when im just close. You may be right tho. They may just be throwing it out there to anyone and i just hear it.

Hotspur- I understand what you mean about validating their self-esteem. (been out of practice for some time) But your exactly right. Thats probably what those early IOI's are. Makes total sense because i havnt done anything to earn them. No DHV yet.

Thanks i think thats exactly what the situation might be hotspur. Thanks to you both for the input.

Killer
04-07-2008, 02:12 AM
Yes, just adjust. Its almost like a shit test for them. They let you know that they have a boyfriend, and now its up to how you act. If you just walk off or let off her, shes knows exactly what you are interested in. If you come out and insult him, trying to amog him especially when he isnt around, its the same effect. If you reframe, you avoid the shit test.
Happened a few days ago to me. I am talking to a HB8 and she mentions her boyfriend. We are kind of in isolation at a party at my place, behind the bar. I stack to "I bet you are flakey." I was expecting to have to explain things but she knew what I was talking about. That stacked to her asking me for my number. Did she really have a boyfriend? Is it a defense?
Some girls do use it because they like to brag, they have to let everyone know they are wanted. Think of ugs who wont stfu about their boyfriend that you think is a tool, because shes an ug. But in her mind, shes DHVing herself.

Hotspur
04-07-2008, 04:12 AM
Upon further reflection I want to add that I think that a boyfriend mention is a IOD, but it may be a minor one. It doesn't mean there's really a boyfriend.

I don't think women will tend to throw up obstacles like that when they're interested.

jigga
04-07-2008, 04:23 AM
this happens to me sometimes its weird. recently went on trip to vegas with a girl i kind of knew(roomates and others were going to be out there also).but within the first fvckin second she gets in my car to leave she says yea my bf....blah blah. i didnt know she had a bf before. i was like wtf. i replied with oh thats cool i hope i booked two double beds if not ill put up a pillow barreir between us. she replied with i wouldnt be worried sleeping in the same bed as you.wtf. we flew together and shared a hotel and a bed. dont get it but she just kept on mentioning him all throughout the trip. i think she did for a couple of reasons
-i think she didnt want to come off as a slvt (which she is)
-was proud of having a functional relationship (1 month long i guess lol see how long that lasts).
-something to tell herself so she wouldnt fvck around.

another girl in a club in vegas (hb 8.5-9) was trying to hook up my friend with her friend and i was the wing and shes like i have a bf within the first second. i was like so i got a gf big deal. kind of back fired cause her friend wanted to fuck me but she said i was takin. anyways they could be saying it for so many reasons. some how you are threat i think good or bad.

everytime i just act like who gives a fvck im probalby better than him anyways.

Kelevra
04-09-2008, 08:14 PM
Jigga- ya i have gamed a few girls who fail to mention boyfriends till day 2. One now in my night class mentioned him after i already had attraction. When talking TO the girls and i hit the BF they normally say it like its a downer. Even when they say they love the guy. Just FEELS like a downer. So i know im still golden. (typicaly LTR of a couple years, i assume they are bored and need some excitement. Excitement = Heathen)

Your last line is exactly right.

But the original post was really about BEFORE you open the girls. When they are talking to their friends, and your sitting close by with your friends. I have Gnarly ADD and if nothing demands my attention i hear everything close by.

And thats what i find interesting. In normal conversation between friends (in my experience) when their friends know who their bf is, then they use the first name. Not the word boyfriend. Yet with girls i havnt opend yet, but within ear shot of, throw it out there wile talking to their friend that already knows the guys name. (i assume, and after opening like i mentioned, i find they go back to his name in later personal conversations) Like my buddy with a gf, he never says "ya my girl friend just called" because i know her. He tells me "ya jessica called". See what im saying?

I notice stupid shit. And i dont put much weight on anything anyone SAYS ever. Actions speak. And from the girls i have hooked up with, who have BF's, i have learned it really doenst matter if they actualy do. What matters more is my value high enough. If it is then any LTR doesnt matter. I just have to have more value then the LTR.

But if my theory is right, and they say it because im around, then i can learn from it.