Affection
01-10-2007, 05:07 PM
The thing I missed most about leaving the company currently referring to itself as "Mystery Method, Inc." was hands-down the attitudes and passions of LD and Matador. Awesome to see you guys without the the other negativity and drama that surrounded.
...and because I must always come bearing routine (a forum-warming post?), here's some fun thoughts I wrote about how to use your hands in-set.
-----
Acquiring Talented Hands ~ Affection's Hand Routines
Knowing what to do with your hands is one of the top 5 most important things in any sarge. An AFC will convey nervousness with his hands. If you're approaching a woman in a bar and clutching a beer for dear life, she'll notice, and your value drops. A well-adjusted PUA will put the beer down (or at least to the side and use his other hand) and use his hands to convey confidence, passion, value, and sexual energy.
Here are some nifty things you can do with your hands, roughly in the order you would use them in a sarge:
* Obtain & Retain Attention
Some of the simplest openers ever can be done with your hands, without saying a word. With excellent body language and a little social proof, you can make a woman come across the bar to you by pointing at her, smiling, and giving her the "come hither" gesture with your index finger. To retain the attention of a woman, PUAs use a concept called "frame control" -- the idea that you are controlling and leading the interaction. You can use your hands to quite physically direct her attention and the attention of the entire group. If you come to any of our programs that contain night sarging, you'll see demonstration after demonstration of this.
* Demonstrations of Higher Value / "Chick Crack"
Palm reading. You don't have to know how to actually read palms. In fact, you don't even need to tell the girl what the "results" of your reading are ("Oh, this isn't for you. I'm not getting paid for this. This is for me to see if you're crazy or not. *smile*"). Simply take her hand ("Let me see your hand."), look at the palm and the back of the hand, run your fingers on the lines slowly and gently, and look like you're doing something. Women love men they perceive as perceptive, and besides that, you're already holding her hand, perhaps 30 seconds into the interaction.
* Be Playful
Poking. Hair pulling (not the kind to turn her on -- the kind her little brother would do to her). Putting her hair in her face like a mustache. Anything that worked in elementary school. It makes you fun, and is also good for filling moments that otherwise would have awkward silence while you think of the next thing to talk about.
* Interest Check ("Trust Test")
The community's classic test to see if a girl is into you: take her hand (palm down) on top of your hand (palm up), and move your hand up and then down. If her hand follows yours down, you can treat this as an IOI ("indicator of interest"). This test is probably about 80% effective -- some girls' hands won't follow yours even if the girl likes you, usually because they're thinking too much. Distract them with conversation during the test for the most accurate results. One other hand IOI to watch out for: if while holding a girl's hand, she starts rubbing your hand with her thumb, she wants you. You can probably take her home with you right now.
* "Innocently" Turning Women On
In the first 5 minutes of an interaction, most of the times you're not kissing her neck and rubbing your hand between her legs. Luckily, you can turn a girl on more subtly than that -- even before you can kiss her! Here's two favorites. Hair playing/pulling (not the little brother kind described above). Put your hands at the back of her head and run your hands out of her hair. Repeat 100 times. Start to pull on the hair (only while your hands are close to the head -- not out at the tips of her hair) rather than just run your hands through it more and more as you go forward. Scratching. *Slowly* run your nails in long strokes along her back. If her clothes reveal a good portion of her back, great. If not, start at the back of her neck and shoulders, then begin to push down the back of her shirt to expose more area, and then eventually just put your hand underneath the back of her shirt. Less frequent than hair pulling (maybe only once or twice a minute). Both hair pulling and scratching work really well on the dance floor, and are good for leading to...
* Kiss Close w/ Hands
There are some good kiss close routines out there, but sometimes it's fun to just grab the kiss sans-routine. Build the attraction, try some of the "innocent turn-ons," and then take your hand and move her chin up and towards you and kiss her while still holding her chin. While definitely a dominant move, the actual physical touch is quite gentle; if she wants to kiss you, it will take almost no effort to move her lips in range of yours.
* Comfort Building
Hold her hand. In fact, sometimes, hold both of her hands. You're creating connection. Simple. Also hold and touch other non-sexual areas of her body... her arms, her legs, her side, etc.
~~Affection :)
...and because I must always come bearing routine (a forum-warming post?), here's some fun thoughts I wrote about how to use your hands in-set.
-----
Acquiring Talented Hands ~ Affection's Hand Routines
Knowing what to do with your hands is one of the top 5 most important things in any sarge. An AFC will convey nervousness with his hands. If you're approaching a woman in a bar and clutching a beer for dear life, she'll notice, and your value drops. A well-adjusted PUA will put the beer down (or at least to the side and use his other hand) and use his hands to convey confidence, passion, value, and sexual energy.
Here are some nifty things you can do with your hands, roughly in the order you would use them in a sarge:
* Obtain & Retain Attention
Some of the simplest openers ever can be done with your hands, without saying a word. With excellent body language and a little social proof, you can make a woman come across the bar to you by pointing at her, smiling, and giving her the "come hither" gesture with your index finger. To retain the attention of a woman, PUAs use a concept called "frame control" -- the idea that you are controlling and leading the interaction. You can use your hands to quite physically direct her attention and the attention of the entire group. If you come to any of our programs that contain night sarging, you'll see demonstration after demonstration of this.
* Demonstrations of Higher Value / "Chick Crack"
Palm reading. You don't have to know how to actually read palms. In fact, you don't even need to tell the girl what the "results" of your reading are ("Oh, this isn't for you. I'm not getting paid for this. This is for me to see if you're crazy or not. *smile*"). Simply take her hand ("Let me see your hand."), look at the palm and the back of the hand, run your fingers on the lines slowly and gently, and look like you're doing something. Women love men they perceive as perceptive, and besides that, you're already holding her hand, perhaps 30 seconds into the interaction.
* Be Playful
Poking. Hair pulling (not the kind to turn her on -- the kind her little brother would do to her). Putting her hair in her face like a mustache. Anything that worked in elementary school. It makes you fun, and is also good for filling moments that otherwise would have awkward silence while you think of the next thing to talk about.
* Interest Check ("Trust Test")
The community's classic test to see if a girl is into you: take her hand (palm down) on top of your hand (palm up), and move your hand up and then down. If her hand follows yours down, you can treat this as an IOI ("indicator of interest"). This test is probably about 80% effective -- some girls' hands won't follow yours even if the girl likes you, usually because they're thinking too much. Distract them with conversation during the test for the most accurate results. One other hand IOI to watch out for: if while holding a girl's hand, she starts rubbing your hand with her thumb, she wants you. You can probably take her home with you right now.
* "Innocently" Turning Women On
In the first 5 minutes of an interaction, most of the times you're not kissing her neck and rubbing your hand between her legs. Luckily, you can turn a girl on more subtly than that -- even before you can kiss her! Here's two favorites. Hair playing/pulling (not the little brother kind described above). Put your hands at the back of her head and run your hands out of her hair. Repeat 100 times. Start to pull on the hair (only while your hands are close to the head -- not out at the tips of her hair) rather than just run your hands through it more and more as you go forward. Scratching. *Slowly* run your nails in long strokes along her back. If her clothes reveal a good portion of her back, great. If not, start at the back of her neck and shoulders, then begin to push down the back of her shirt to expose more area, and then eventually just put your hand underneath the back of her shirt. Less frequent than hair pulling (maybe only once or twice a minute). Both hair pulling and scratching work really well on the dance floor, and are good for leading to...
* Kiss Close w/ Hands
There are some good kiss close routines out there, but sometimes it's fun to just grab the kiss sans-routine. Build the attraction, try some of the "innocent turn-ons," and then take your hand and move her chin up and towards you and kiss her while still holding her chin. While definitely a dominant move, the actual physical touch is quite gentle; if she wants to kiss you, it will take almost no effort to move her lips in range of yours.
* Comfort Building
Hold her hand. In fact, sometimes, hold both of her hands. You're creating connection. Simple. Also hold and touch other non-sexual areas of her body... her arms, her legs, her side, etc.
~~Affection :)