Idea!

[relics]

I was just watching George Carlins stand-up routine in NY, and I had this great idea to use what he said in set. Things like

"You ever look at your watch then not know what time it is?"
"DO you ever have to sneeze while you're taking a piss?"
"Ever been talking to yourself then somebody walks in on you and you have to make-believe you've been singing?"
"Ever try to tell somebody they have a little bit of dirt on their face....and you can never get them to rub the right spot?"
"Ever notice how awful your face is when you're in a room with fleurescent light?"
"Ever go up a flight of stairs and you think there's one more step?"
"Ever fall asleep on a late afternoon, and you wake up after dark....then you don't know what day it is?"


I think thes'd do great while you're in set and the conversation hits a lull. Great to spark a new thread. Or hell, you can even do it as an opener if you root it correctly.

These have not been field tested as I just made them up...an hour ago. I'll try them when I get the chance.

[CrimsonKing]

George Carlin is awesome for funny little bits.

I've always been partial to:

"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models defaced, and porn stars dismembered?"
and
"Why is there no blue food?"

The blue food one is great if the conversation is stalling. I sometimes transition to it from a routine about how I've TASTED red. (FYI: Take it from a farm boy, blueberries aren't blue when they're ripe).

[Heartwork]

And I am officially using these this weekend as openers

Thanks Relics