Need help with on-line super bitch...

[Wahooka]

Okay, I have been emailing this chick on match.com for about 2 weeks now.. I have been trying every trick I know, disqualifying myself, negs, clever conversation, cocky funny, showing value, getting her to qualify herself...

So basically she has responded to every message I have written, so she is at least playing the game, but EVERYTHING she says is a smart-ass comment, huge bitch shield, has this whole "I dont give a shit attitude"...even her username on the match.com site is something like "Mega-Bitch" (I wont give her exact screen name out, that wouldnt be right)...

What the hell can I do here? I have tried escalating to real life once, but she only seemed mildly interested...

Help!!

Wahooka

[CrazyWilly]

Well, given you found her on match.com thats you sending a big IOI right there. Beyond that, I would try to get her out and away from a computer. That way you can run decent game.

[azazels_wolf]

Or you COULD find a girl whose personality clicks with yours. :p

[Hengman]

Or you COULD go to her house and like...stalk her. Nah, nah. Don't listen to me. lol

Well, keep gaming in real life. SHOW HER THE PENOR!

[Wahooka]

This forum is called "Online Game", so you cant diss me for meeting her on match.com! Yeah, I need to do more real life sets, but sometimes the internet can be fun...

Anyhow, the point is she doesn't seem to want to take it into the real world, despite some interesting email conversations...

any helpful suggestions, or just gonna rip on me? :(

[azazels_wolf]

Well, if you actually like her enough to bother...

You said she qualified herself, but she still doesn't want to meet? You're going to need comfort. Connection, rapport...got any of that going yet? Talk about something she's interested in. Make her feel safe.

[Alexkx3]

You probalbly negged her to much. In real life, when you neg you can throw and go, so you move on. But in online game you can't throw and go because the neg is in the message so its always there, and she'll neg you back and get all bitchy.
I had the same prob.
My advice would be to microcalibrate, "You seem cool" and go into a DHV/Comfort story. Once you've been real with her and told her about you, it would be "wierd" for her to keep negging you.

Also on online game, be sure to use lots of these ;P :P ;D :D emoticons, as you can't microcalibrate with you're tonality and and bodylanguage, so negs can come of as just pure insults.

[Wahooka]

Thanks for the advice so far...

Well, this is what happened when I asked her to qualify herself:

MY EMAIL: Hey, name 3 interesting things about yourself that would make me want to get to know you more.

HER EMAIL: The Good, the Bad and The Ugly, or Red White and Blue!

Or when I tried to escalate:

MY EMAIL: Ok, you're kind of funny, I guess you've earned some more pics of me...

HER EMAIL: Oh cool, I'm so lucky!! (never gave me an email address to send the pics)

Or when I tried to build comfort:

MY EMAIL: Okay, I barely feel I know you, tell me about your hopes and dreams.

HER EMAIL:[Here she wrote a LONG EMAIL ALL ABOUT HER LIFE AND HER IDEAL RELATIONSHIP, etc...]


So yeah, she is being a smart-ass, but also seems interested in having a long discussion.. she has given me very few internet IOI, but still wants to talk and email back and forth... I'm considering just breaking off the correspondence.. I need a real genius idea here to push things forward...

Wahooka

[azazels_wolf]

MY EMAIL: Okay, I barely feel I know you, tell me about your hopes and dreams.

HER EMAIL:[Here she wrote a LONG EMAIL ALL ABOUT HER LIFE AND HER IDEAL RELATIONSHIP, etc...]


Well, THAT is an IOI, among other things....if she wasn't interested in you, she wouldn't bother with a long email about her life and ideal relationship! That to me is begging for comfort talk. Some women simply will refuse to meet you unless you both know more about each other and she feels that she has some connection with you and can trust you.

So you've got the challenge of making her feel comfortable, continuing to DHV, and keeping it sexy/flirty at the same time. Respond to what she said about her life and ideal relationship....demonstrate that you listened, and have an interest... then maybe she'll warm up more.

[Wahooka]

So if a woman emails you a LONG ASS email all about her feelings and ideas, its an IOI? Could be, or could it be she wants to use me as an emotional tampon?

I guess since we havent met, there is no way to know, but I once had a girl who barely knew me write a whole lengthy essay about how she feels about her roommate...

IOI or shit test?

Wow, online game can be fun!

Wahooka

[azazels_wolf]

So if a woman emails you a LONG ASS email all about her feelings and ideas, its an IOI? Could be, or could it be she wants to use me as an emotional tampon?


Comfort usually requires some emotion-based talk like that. You have to drop the cockiness and be genuine. Howver, do keep the sexual innuendo and the flirtation going.

If you were LJBF'ed for awhile, you could be an emotional tampon, but you two have really not said that much yet, so I doubt she sees you as a trusted friend at this point. There's not enough connection yet, and really very little rapport from what you've said.


I guess since we havent met, there is no way to know, but I once had a girl who barely knew me write a whole lengthy essay about how she feels about her roommate...

IOI or shit test?


Both. If she wasn't interested in your input, she wouldn't bother. It's also an indicator of trust. However, it can also be a shit test at the same time in the sense that, if you fail to show any genuine interest in her feelings and her interests, and just act cocky and obnoxious, you will betray her trust and she will not feel comfortable with you. That will get you into the reject pile.

Keep it sexy, but also show some interest in who she is... you want her to feel safe meeting you, not wondering if you're some rapist who's trying to take advantage of her vulnerabilities. Like I said, some women will refuse to meet you if you don't have enough comfort established beforehand.

[azazels_wolf]

Another thing that's in the back of my mind that I think I should mention, even if it's not accurate in this case:

You don't seem interested in this conversation with her, other than from a pick-up standpoint. By the time you're in comfort, if you feel like you can't make a connection with her, and aren't interested in anything she's saying, something is wrong. You didn't pick the right girl. Remember, PUAs have CHOICE.

That said, if you seem to ALWAYS be emotionally distant, and uninterested in what any girl is telling you about herself, then that is a much bigger problem that needs to be addressed. If that's not the case, great. If it IS.... then you'll need to figure out why.

[Wahooka]

Yes, I am always emotionally distant, until after I've had sex with them... I thought that was normal.. no? :confused:

[Alexkx3]

Hell no!!!!
Willingness to emote ring any bells?!!
Once you get to comfort, you wanna get that deep rapport with the girl!
If she's giving you all this emotion, and you don't return the favour, she's gonna be distant! She just opened up to you, and you gave her nothing!!!

[azazels_wolf]

Yes, I am always emotionally distant, until after I've had sex with them... I thought that was normal.. no? :confused:

Nope, it's not normal, and I agree with Alex.

If you're not connecting with the girls, then you either picked the wrong ones for you, or you've got some emotional and communication issues you'll have to work on. Do the girls just bore you, or are you hesitant to get emotionally involved because of fear of hurt?

If they bore you, you need to find girls that are of higher value to you, and hopefully have more commonalities with you. If you're afraid of getting hurt, and not opening up as a result, then you need to figure out the basis of the fear and work on that. It can cripple your ability to have any pleasant interactions or relationships.

[Wahooka]

There are many reasons I am emotionally distant... I will start a new thread in the main forum, because I think that topic alone deserves a thread!

By the way, I seem to have fucked things up with this match.com girl... I just couldnt get anything going with her, maybe it was a sign we had no connection.. dunno..

WAhooka

[craigmobley1]

Real quick...

Your spending valuable time on a girl that may just be interested
in goofing around on the internet.

Ask if she's interested in meeting
for a quick coffee sometime.

If yes...great

If not...great...and you can quit wasting your time.

Easy as that

[Wahooka]

I agree, I will number close her or just move on..

[craigmobley1]

Exactly...

Get the number...or not
Either way...it's cool

I have gotten caught up in endless email traffic...only to find out
the girl was a flake...and was never really interested in anything
other than playing around on the internet.

Best to get the number or move on.

Very general rule...

You should try to exchange numbers in less than 10 email exchanges.
Probably even no more than 5.

[kr3w PUA]

well what i'd do, is totally give up on her. bail out, and neg her enough to make her feel like shit....i'f i had seen her im sure i'd have some kind of degrading comment for her appearance. i can make hb10's feel like shit

[azazels_wolf]

well what i'd do, is totally give up on her. bail out, and neg her enough to make her feel like shit....i'f i had seen her im sure i'd have some kind of degrading comment for her appearance. i can make hb10's feel like shit

Negs are not "degrading comments" used to make someone "feel like shit." If she's insulted, you over-negged or misused the neg. Negs are not insults.

[Alexkx3]

This is not about making women feel like shit.
Its about, being a really cool guy and adding to their reality.
Women are not the enemy here.

[Wahooka]

I stopped emailing her, was just a waste of time...

[gaash2]

You need to escalate to real life much faster... like, in the first day or so of e-mails, usually within the first 2 or 3. After two weeks of back and forth e-mailing, im sorry to say, this one is pretty much hopeless. Don't bother with anything but "lets get out for drinks" etc. etc. Asking for a meeting in person as quickly as possible is the key to online gaming, at least from my experience...

[duckSAUCE]

haha i just copy and paste a part of my autobiography whenever chick asks about me!

[latinguy]

1. Maybe you could have tried a freezeout if she was enjoying talking with you? It may be useful for LMR, but could be used here.

2. It sounds like you should have moved her over to IM, ie bounced her. Then you could have asked for the number.

I agree with what the other posters said about not wasting time on girls which just waste time. I'm cutting back dramatically on this myself.

[baron921]

related to duckSAUCE's post, i think she may have been giving you a cut-paste answer. Maybe she customized a few things for you, but mostly a template answer.

[Cass]

in response to the first post.

Is she replying with questions in return?

or is she simply answering your questions.


if the latter then shes holding frame and basically you just keep jumping through hoops with every email you send back.

If a girl sends me a message only answering questions tell you what heres and example.

I ask her how was her weekend.. although i never would..

msg 1:
yeah it was great thanks.. you?x

msg 2:
yeah was ok x


you see the difference..

it also seems like your not esculating?! the material your running is all A2

you should of closed within 3-4 messages.. your lost in a middle ground at the mo where your both just messaging each other yet its not going anywhere...

why would you want to be apart of a conversation thats going no where?

also if it is the latter ^^^ (where she isnt showing interest in the interaction with return questions to you.)

then all you are doing by msging her is showing her interest/intent.


Just send her a message saying look this is like a bad marrage without the sex. I'm off

stop jumping through her hoops. for once..





Cass

[Cass]

Thanks for the advice so far...

Well, this is what happened when I asked her to qualify herself:

MY EMAIL: Hey, name 3 interesting things about yourself that would make me want to get to know you more.

HER EMAIL: The Good, the Bad and The Ugly, or Red White and Blue!

Or when I tried to escalate:

MY EMAIL: Ok, you're kind of funny, I guess you've earned some more pics of me...

HER EMAIL: Oh cool, I'm so lucky!! (never gave me an email address to send the pics)

Or when I tried to build comfort:

MY EMAIL: Okay, I barely feel I know you, tell me about your hopes and dreams.

HER EMAIL:[Here she wrote a LONG EMAIL ALL ABOUT HER LIFE AND HER IDEAL RELATIONSHIP, etc...]


So yeah, she is being a smart-ass, but also seems interested in having a long discussion.. she has given me very few internet IOI, but still wants to talk and email back and forth... I'm considering just breaking off the correspondence.. I need a real genius idea here to push things forward...

Wahooka

You were telegraphing so much interest here and she was giving you nothing in return or anything that deserved the interest in the first place. One, She didnt DESERVE the pictures.. Stop offering something she hasnt yet earnt..

Cass

[Cass]

well what i'd do, is totally give up on her. bail out, and neg her enough to make her feel like shit....i'f i had seen her im sure i'd have some kind of degrading comment for her appearance. i can make hb10's feel like shit

Thats really not how its done.. You obviously have no idea about PU or women in general.. are you one of them guys that needs to make a girl feel like shit and worthless in order to keep them?

[Vamped]

So she wrote a massive fuck-off sized email about her ideal relationship and her life.. and you are asking if it's an ioi and waht to neg her with... Go re-read style's post about social robots.

[azazels_wolf]

So she wrote a massive fuck-off sized email about her ideal relationship and her life.. and you are asking if it's an ioi and waht to neg her with... Go re-read style's post about social robots.

LOL.... I like your recommendation! :D

[Hooter]

So if a woman emails you a LONG ASS email all about her feelings and ideas, its an IOI? Could be, or could it be she wants to use me as an emotional tampon?

I guess since we havent met, there is no way to know, but I once had a girl who barely knew me write a whole lengthy essay about how she feels about her roommate...

IOI or shit test?

Wow, online game can be fun!

Wahooka

Online game CAN be fun, I know better than anyone, I've mastered it to be honest. I usually get mailed back immediately, get the number on first or second mail, and most of the time, the first date is at my house within a few days. Then it's a cakewalk to increase attraction, build comfort, and very, very often, seduce. But I really want to get AWAY from online game and get out in the field more.

Online game makes you lazy, and also it's too easy because there is no fear of rejection, etc. And spending too much time on it makes you a less confident person in real life, even if you are a KING online.

To answer your question though...yeah you totally missed it, and I think you need to readjust your attitude a bit. After all the "usual" e-mail banter, she finally bites and unloads a lot of inner stuff to you. That was your cue to take it an run with it by...relating to what she said, maybe telling her some stories to reflect you have some of the same thoughts, emotions etc.

Instead you suggest she might be using you as an emotional tampon? Would you prefer she just e-mail you and say hey let's meet and fuck! ?? That ain't happening bro.

You made some great progress getting her to open up, and almost sound disappointed that she did, when in fact I think it's a huge signal.

I will say that with online game...as soon as their is any interest or attraction, get it going quick. These girls, esp. hb's, get so many damn e-mails you can get buried quick, so you need to pull them out of their inboxes FAST.

[Steele]

get this woman on an instant messenger. emails are way too slow and impersonal. good luck