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newtopickup
01-22-2008, 05:58 PM
met a 7+ through an online dating site. i initiated with a 2 line neg-based opener e-mail. she found me using the site the next day and IM'd me rather than a response. we proceeded to IM for 30 minutes, in which i ran pretty strong game (rcvd IOI's and compliance of interests/beliefs). as we concluded, i told her to facebook me, which she agreed and when i told her i'd get around to accepting, she warned me not to play games.

i accepted the friend request the next morning. a day and a half later, i sent her a private message telling her i wanted her number as i planned to call her. ordinarily, i'd wait a few days before making another move (if necessary). however, while its only been a day she has since signed on to the original dating service, but not yet responded to my request on facebook. before i smell of one-itis, i wanted to know what you guys think of where this is going.

d

Alexkx3
01-22-2008, 06:38 PM
Chillax dude, i've had girls not respond for weeks, then suddenly respond with IOIs like it was the next day. Even with all this knowledge I still don't get women! lol

"Dont play games" That's interesting, seems like she's asking you to be real with, her now, build comfort. Once you reach comfort turn cf off, and just connect with the girl.

Attraction, just gets her into you, like a fairground attraction. The game is played in comfort, thats when you both fall for eachother.

newtopickup
01-22-2008, 11:58 PM
thank you for the quick reply .... i actually did get a response, which was super-smartass (i imagine as a response/compliance to me), but littered with smiley faces and LOL's....

(an excerpt from each):

ME: let's talk soon. rumor has it i'm going to call you.

HB: and rumor has it you're moving fast...:)


in all, i got served, but i think in a good way. what do you think ???

Wahooka
01-23-2008, 04:34 AM
I've had a problem with emailing a girl on match.com for a while, then she disappears for a month, returns, and apologizes for not answering my last email, because she was "out of the country"... she has now quit her job, and wants to start talking to me again...

I havent responded yet,..

Wahooka

Alexkx3
01-23-2008, 04:12 PM
ME: let's talk soon. rumor has it i'm going to call you.

HB: and rumor has it you're moving fast...:)


in all, i got served, but i think in a good way. what do you think ???

Well, if you tease her, she's gonna tease you back, playfull teasing build attraction. But know how far to push it, and when to stop.


HB: and rumor has it you're moving fast...:)
I'm not quite sure what she means here. But seems to me, like shes telling you to build some comfort. Throw in a few grounding DHV stories, and your good to go.

newtopickup
01-23-2008, 05:07 PM
good call. i was definitely perplexed (not a constructive emotion this early on).

gracias, alex.

Omni
01-23-2008, 05:14 PM
Hey man,
On this particular dating site, does it allow you to see if she has opened the e-mail you have sent? If it does, something I do online is intentionally log-in for a few days straight without even opening her e-mail. 80% of the time, the girl sends you another message or IM asking why you haven't opened the first one. It's something no guy does to her (if she's cute) and it gets her frustrated in a good way. This may be your ticket to her wanting to move things along faster so she can feel that she has wrangled you before you got away. Cheers.

newtopickup
01-23-2008, 09:56 PM
omni,

we were able to move it to facebook from the dating site after our initial conversation. in retrpospect, it was the wrong move because the dating site allows you to see the status of e-mails sent. however, she responded to my first facebook msg a day later.

the funny part was, she totally caught me totally off-guard with her response (see above). apparently she wants more online comfort building before handing over her number. alex advised DHV'ing her in the meantime.

Alexkx3
01-23-2008, 11:34 PM
Not just DHVing but, grounding and comfort, with some DHV spikes scattered throughout. You should of already built attraction and qualified.

Agent13
01-23-2008, 11:39 PM
let me preface this by i have dealt with alot of online girlsonline, and have had to change my SN and myspace due to stalkers, nuts, etc.

and she sounds like she may be nuts AND/OR be very clingy..

the first itme you talk to her on IM she says 'dont play games' (TRANSLATION: DONT PLAY GAMES WITH ME I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU)this just doesn't smell right to me man. this could mean she is used to online dating and used to guys fucking with her and she sits at home and cries and slits her wrists or some shit...i know this sounds weird but the subtext here isn't very good from where i sit.

then the next thing she says 'rumor has it you moving fast' (TRANSLATION: IF WE HAVE SEX AND DONT MARRY ME I MIGHT SAY YOU RAPED ME) she wants COMFORT..she wants you to say you love her while having sex (ala SWIM FAN) she wants to know shes not just another notch on your belt.

another thing...crazy girls will FIRST seem that they are very witty/funny/ perfect...they have become this way becasue they know thats how they get guys to like them...so they use that till you see what they are really like.

ok man hope i didnt scare you, but this is just what im seeing with the limited convsations you provided, i may be wrong, but its something ot think about.

A13

newtopickup
01-23-2008, 11:59 PM
A13,

wow. SERIOUSLY. i'm not sure i was more surprised at her actions, or your explanation of them. so much of what your saying seems so plausible. i'm used to clingy (aren't we all when you get mildly good at this), but this is far past any skills i've got.

based on what i can tell, she was engaged at one point but it was obvs called off as we were both on this dating site. i'm sure she did not walk away from an engagement injury-free but she seems ready to get back out there. i sent an initial two-line opener and she responded by IM as we were both using the site simultaneously. it was a 30 min chat, wherein i told her she could facebook me, which she did and i joked about getting around to adding her. this was where she warned me not to play games. we ended the convo. i added her the next morning and a day after that i sent the following message.

(preface: her status was listed as skiing for two days or so)

ME:
HB, are you seriously still skiing, because that would be insane.

Let's talk soon. Rumor has it i'm going to call you.

HB:If you had looked correctly it said.. HB WENT skiing… so no I wasn’t STILL snowboarding... cause that would be insane !lol

and rumor has it that your moving fast... :)
--------------------
Alex suggested grounding at this point. I'm still having trouble trying to determine how i ground from that while maintaining humor/playfulness.

Agent13
01-24-2008, 12:33 AM
glad you took time to read what i wrote and considred it

id say something along the lines of

'didnt know we were in the 50s'
or something that pokes fun at her

(or have you already responded?)

i think the way she responds to something poking fun at her wanting to move slow, you will see how crazy/uncrazy she is..and then go from there.

GL, hopefully hear things work out

A13

newtopickup
01-24-2008, 01:27 AM
i was going to go with something along the lines of:

HB,
these rumors that we speak of are just dirty, vicious, unsavory and horribly true.

i have to give you credit, though. i think my grandmother used the same method to get my grandfather's attention 50+ years ago :D

she always warned me (at the age of 3, NO JOKE) that girls were too fast and would just try to kiss me so that i would like them. the crazy thing was, that in first grade, that's exactly what happened. i think she told her father because she transferred to another school the following week.

(obviously i don't want to push for the number, so i'm lost on how to end this)

Agent13
01-24-2008, 02:15 AM
i like it
have to see how she responds to it

newtopickup
01-27-2008, 02:15 PM
so this is the response back (at 2:50am),

----------------------------------------
dearest story teller...

yoooooo &^%$,

glad to know that your grandmother would give me credit!!! i would pass the test!!!
she was right about the fact that girls are fast on making the first move at the age of 3... a bit young , but i'll just assume that you were exposed to that at an early age. girls always ran after boys... i know i did, but only starting at the age of 6.... but things change .... boys should run after girls when they get older.... it's a known fact...
-----------------------------------------

gaash2
01-28-2008, 04:56 PM
online dating to IM to facebook .. dude what happened to meeting in real life.. Cut out all the useless BS... Send an email to get htem interested.. then ask to meet in real life. It really IS that simple online.


met a 7+ through an online dating site. i initiated with a 2 line neg-based opener e-mail. she found me using the site the next day and IM'd me rather than a response. we proceeded to IM for 30 minutes, in which i ran pretty strong game (rcvd IOI's and compliance of interests/beliefs). as we concluded, i told her to facebook me, which she agreed and when i told her i'd get around to accepting, she warned me not to play games.

i accepted the friend request the next morning. a day and a half later, i sent her a private message telling her i wanted her number as i planned to call her. ordinarily, i'd wait a few days before making another move (if necessary). however, while its only been a day she has since signed on to the original dating service, but not yet responded to my request on facebook. before i smell of one-itis, i wanted to know what you guys think of where this is going.

d