PDA

View Full Version : Field Tested Coffee Shop Material:


Sigg
11-29-2007, 06:31 AM
Everyone’s been so helpful that I thought I would post this and give back to the community a bit. I found that I have a lot of success with coffee shops and wanted to share a few things I’ve learned.

First let’s start with some openers/DHV’s for the person taking your order. I found that if there’s a cute girl taking the order it’s really good to make her laugh a bit to both build social proof and potentially pick her up. Try to order when it’s not too busy and there won’t be anyone in line behind you so you have some time to make small talk with the people behind the bar. If you plan on gaming other people in the shop (not just the baristas), make sure you introduce yourself and get the names of everyone working there when you get your drink. This way the next time you come in, you might see someone you know and you can go “Hey [whoever]” give him a high five and seem like a regular. If it’s a particularly cool coffee shop (i.e. not a Starbucks) you’ll instantly be part of a tribe that everyone in there wants to belong to and this will up your social proof. Also, if you walk out of there with a girl on your arm, you can say goodbye to the people in the shop on your way out and appear to be part of the tribe that way. The people in the shop (especially the guys) will want to appear as they know you because you’re part of a tribe that they want to belong to (i.e. you hang out with or pick up beautiful women) and the girls will want to know you because the guys do (and because of pre-selection).

Ok, on to specifics. Here are some field tested lines I use pretty often that are great little openers for the person taking your order. I can’t believe I’m giving these away because this is some of my most successful original material so PLEASE use it sparingly and don’t re-post it on other boards.

Her: Do you want whip-cream on that?
You: No thanks, I’m trying to watch my [girlish] figure (I happen to be tall, thin and in shape so this one always gets a laugh).

Her: What size?
You: What’s the smallest size you have?
Her: Tall
You: Ok I’ll have that but I refuse to call it tall.

You: [Order a drink with flavor options like a frappuccino]
Her: What flavor.
You: Surprise me.

Ok, so now you’re either gaming the barista or have picked a target to game in the shop itself. One thing to note about gaming the people who work there is that if you do end up with any of them it will totally kill that coffee shop for you as a place to pick up women, so I personally think its best to leave it at friendly flirting and hanging out for social proof reasons and not do anything to physical with them where they might have a right to be offended if they saw you flirting with another girl.

Ok on to gaming the patrons. From my experience, the three second rule is out for coffee places. Come in with a book, get your drink, and sit down next to the most attractive girl in the place or the set with the cutest girl if it looks like a bunch of friends having an interesting conversation.

From here you can do one of two things. If it’s a multiple person set I like to just sit there and listen to their conversation until I hear something interesting and have an opportunity to jut in with something funny and join them. If it’s a single, I sit there and read for a while then pull out my cell phone and pretend I’m texting back and forth with my friend. I find it helps to actually write text messages in the draft folder so that it looks realistic. After a few back and forth’s I’ll turn to the girl with my leg crossed away from her and body language closed and root an opinion opener with the text message.

FTCing singles is tricky. I tend to say something like “I’m sure you have to get back to reading (usually they’re reading something) and I want to get back to my book, so I won’t keep you.” Try to find someone who looks like they’re there just to kill time. Again, doing this right and not DLVing yourself in the process is tricky because it can come off like you’re apologizing for bugging them. This is not the frame you want. The subtext you want to communicate is: “I’m an interesting person that wants to get back to my interesting book. You’re probably an interesting person as well so logically you would want to get back to doing what you’re doing.” Immediately after, try to hook them with another thread. This is what they should be thinking “Actually, I’m bored out of my mind and I’m glad someone is talking to me. Wait don’t go! I don’t want to go back to studying art history!” As you converse open your body language up as a reward for compliance.

With mixed sets you can FTC as usual. Make sure you sit down with them while you’re joining the conversation. I actually tell them “I really can’t stay” as I’m sitting down at their table. Since you were already sitting before you opened the set just scoot your chair over to them.

Well, that’s about all I can think of right now. I’ll post more as it comes to me. Hope this helps someone out there.

Sigg

gaash2
11-29-2007, 06:34 AM
Ive been using the watching my figure thing for years at bars (if i order a light beer), restuarants etc.. it does always get a good laugh.


Everyone’s been so helpful that I thought I would post this and give back to the community a bit. I found that I have a lot of success with coffee shops and wanted to share a few things I’ve learned.

First let’s start with some openers/DHV’s for the person taking your order. I found that if there’s a cute girl taking the order it’s really good to make her laugh a bit to both build social proof and potentially pick her up. Try to order when it’s not too busy and there won’t be anyone in line behind you so you have some time to make small talk with the people behind the bar. If you plan on gaming other people in the shop (not just the baristas), make sure you introduce yourself and get the names of everyone working there when you get your drink. This way the next time you come in, you might see someone you know and you can go “Hey [whoever]” give him a high five and seem like a regular. If it’s a particularly cool coffee shop (i.e. not a Starbucks) you’ll instantly be part of a tribe that everyone in there wants to belong to and this will up your social proof. Also, if you walk out of there with a girl on your arm, you can say goodbye to the people in the shop on your way out and appear to be part of the tribe that way. The people in the shop (especially the guys) will want to appear as they know you because you’re part of a tribe that they want to belong to (i.e. you hang out with or pick up beautiful women) and the girls will want to know you because the guys do (and because of pre-selection).

Ok, on to specifics. Here are some field tested lines I use pretty often that are great little openers for the person taking your order. I can’t believe I’m giving these away because this is some of my most successful original material so PLEASE use it sparingly and don’t re-post it on other boards.

Her: Do you want whip-cream on that?
You: No thanks, I’m trying to watch my [girlish] figure (I happen to be tall, thin and in shape so this one always gets a laugh).

Her: What size?
You: What’s the smallest size you have?
Her: Tall
You: Ok I’ll have that but I refuse to call it tall.

You: [Order a drink with flavor options like a frappuccino]
Her: What flavor.
You: Surprise me.

Ok, so now you’re either gaming the barista or have picked a target to game in the shop itself. One thing to note about gaming the people who work there is that if you do end up with any of them it will totally kill that coffee shop for you as a place to pick up women, so I personally think its best to leave it at friendly flirting and hanging out for social proof reasons and not do anything to physical with them where they might have a right to be offended if they saw you flirting with another girl.

Ok on to gaming the patrons. From my experience, the three second rule is out for coffee places. Come in with a book, get your drink, and sit down next to the most attractive girl in the place or the set with the cutest girl if it looks like a bunch of friends having an interesting conversation.

From here you can do one of two things. If it’s a multiple person set I like to just sit there and listen to their conversation until I hear something interesting and have an opportunity to jut in with something funny and join them. If it’s a single, I sit there and read for a while then pull out my cell phone and pretend I’m texting back and forth with my friend. I find it helps to actually write text messages in the draft folder so that it looks realistic. After a few back and forth’s I’ll turn to the girl with my leg crossed away from her and body language closed and root an opinion opener with the text message.

FTCing singles is tricky. I tend to say something like “I’m sure you have to get back to reading (usually they’re reading something) and I want to get back to my book, so I won’t keep you.” Try to find someone who looks like they’re there just to kill time. Again, doing this right and not DLVing yourself in the process is tricky because it can come off like you’re apologizing for bugging them. This is not the frame you want. The subtext you want to communicate is: “I’m an interesting person that wants to get back to my interesting book. You’re probably an interesting person as well so logically you would want to get back to doing what you’re doing.” Immediately after, try to hook them with another thread. This is what they should be thinking “Actually, I’m bored out of my mind and I’m glad someone is talking to me. Wait don’t go! I don’t want to go back to studying art history!” As you converse open your body language up as a reward for compliance.

With mixed sets you can FTC as usual. Make sure you sit down with them while you’re joining the conversation. I actually tell them “I really can’t stay” as I’m sitting down at their table. Since you were already sitting before you opened the set just scoot your chair over to them.

Well, that’s about all I can think of right now. I’ll post more as it comes to me. Hope this helps someone out there.

Sigg

UTbound
11-29-2007, 10:09 PM
good stuff

magicmanyea3
11-30-2007, 06:23 PM
I have friend who is a little on the big side and he uses the "im trying to watch my figure" line when we go out to restaurants and he orders diet sodas. it always gets a laugh because it shows that hes very confident

rockskipjump
12-01-2007, 12:17 AM
Again, doing this right and not DLVing yourself in the process is tricky because it can come off like you’re apologizing for bugging them. This is not the frame you want

This is so true dude. It is a really hard rope to walk. It's interesting, in my own thinking I've always thought, well, I spend all my time hangning out in coffee shops myself, so obviously they've got to be easier/more familiar than clubs or bars, where I don't tend to go..."

I think that might be wrong actually. At a bar or club, trying to talk to someone is sort of defensible: people go to those places to be social. At coffee places, it's not always the case, and you run the risk of being "that person at the next table who won't let me get back to what I was doing." I know that person, because it's happend to me! Definitely don't want to be that person.

I find that when I'm in this situation, I start getting really nervous and say "well, I'll let you get back to your (whatever)..." for fear of becoming "that guy." And then they do, and that's that. Getting any further than opening in a coffee place is not easy, in my experience.

Cuisine
12-01-2007, 09:28 AM
Good post Sigg.

This is golden:
"You: [Order a drink with flavor options like a frappuccino]
Her: What flavor.
You: Surprise me."

It sounds simple, but patrons rarely treat servers like people. I've gotten hit on twice in a cafe by telling the server to pick a cupcake for me. I'll often let them choose from three different ones or just say "one that you really like, but without coconut." You are showing that you value their judgment.

I did this once and then went elsewhere for a date...brought the date to the cafe...and ordered from the countergirl. My date said "you guys are close." No...I just treated her like a person.

The surprise me thing is good because you also show her that you are fun.

Sigg
12-02-2007, 12:03 AM
Hey, rockskipjump, a tip for not letting that happen is to ask a provocative question right after that gets them talking about them self. Its just like any FTC, right after you say you're going to go, you just don't.

Here's something I left out that might help:

“I’m sure you have to get back to reading and I want to get back to my book, so I won’t keep you, but... [provocitive question], [continue conversation by asking a question based on seed material they throw out in their answer. Act like all of a sudden they said something that peaked your interest. This should have nothing to do with the original question]”

For example:
You: [Random question]
Her: Back in L.A. (seed material) I blah blah blah....
You: Get out of here you're from L.A.?! I can't hang out with you now (hot-cold, push-pull neg).
Her: Why not!

rockskipjump
12-02-2007, 11:29 AM
Hi Sigg,

Hey, rockskipjump, a tip for not letting that happen is to ask a provocative question right after that gets them talking about them self. Its just like any FTC, right after you say you're going to go, you just don't.

Here's something I left out that might help:

“I’m sure you have to get back to reading and I want to get back to my book, so I won’t keep you, but... (provocative question), (continue conversation by asking a question based on seed material they throw out in their answer. Act like all of a sudden they said something that peaked your interest. This should have nothing to do with the original question)”

For example:
You: (Random question)
Her: Back in L.A. (seed material) I blah blah blah....
You: Get out of here you're from L.A.?! I can't hang out with you now (hot-cold, push-pull neg).
Her: Why not!

My first reaction is "yikes, would i have the balls to pull that off?" Heh. But I will try to think it through and come up with a way to play it that feels convincing. If the situation arises again I will give it a shot.

Also I noticed the addition of a little DHV (or at least DEV -- equal value!) added into your suggestion:

Hey, I’m sure you have to get back to reading and I want to get back to my book, so I won’t keep you, but...

That way, it appears like I'm not the only one with something worthwhile to do, even though I'm alone.

Thanks!

Zippo
02-29-2008, 08:46 AM
In the coffeeshop


Her: How can I help you?
You: I would like a big mac with fries and a coke please
Her: ...!

If you can choose between two options say:
You: Which one can you recommend me?
Her: A (option)
You: Thanks, I will have a B (other option)

eight
02-29-2008, 09:21 AM
Women reading books in coffee/tea shops is golden. Bring a book with you, sit by a girl reading a book. Read read read for about 15 minutes. Then exhale so she kind of notices you. Once you make eye contact ask her what she is reading. Doesn't matter what, tell her to pick a number between 1 and X (X being the last page in your book). She picks a number, go to that page, point to the page give her the book and tell her to read it. Ask her for her book, in front of her, turn to the same page. Then you say i need a break from my book, I'll read your page, you read my page. And read it.. After you are done, give her book back, take your book back, and tell her that your book is better. Pretty much most of the time, she will try to qualify herself and her book to you. And if she doesn't, ask her what's so interesting about her book, what is she getting out of it, did she learn anything new etc etc etc. Eventually you will have to leave (don't make this into a 2 hour conversation at a coffee shop, best done during lunches, because you have a limited amount of time you two can talk), grab her number or email or whatever, tell her you have a book she would be really interested in and that she should totally read it and you'll let her know of the author title etc. Or, just set up a day 2, bring your book with you, and lend it to her on day 2.

The trick to this you have to keep your composure, be solid yet fun and interesting. Another big thing in this little routine is that you have to have a book that a woman would be interested in. Something along the lines of an adventure book, self improvement book (The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is golden, because there's advice about life on every single page pretty much, read it if you haven't), etc.

Mr. Quinn
04-30-2008, 10:39 AM
A book i like bringing in a coffe shop(or any other sit down day game location) is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. a funny thing is women like talking about it, if they have read it, you can also talk about the movie and stuff. most women love johnny depp

couple of examples,

1. i like women who are bad ass (usally doing home work, bored out of
her mind)

2. It makes for an interesting conversation piece, if she asks.

3. i can tie it into how my grounding, how i love off beat writing,
johnny depp is one of my heroes, talk about my acting, etc.


so i can open with it, build attraction, and build rapport. although this works well for me cuz i genuinely like the book, and all the other stated reasons.

my 2 cents

Q

ColonelKurtz
11-30-2010, 10:50 PM
In the coffeeshop


Her: How can I help you?
You: I would like a big mac with fries and a coke please
Her: ...!


OMG that just made my WEEK! I literally just started laughing out loud in front of a dozen costumers!!