Got thrown a curveball by a hot women. What happened?

[masterintraining]

Hay guys, I just got a puzzle thrown in my lap and I need some help deciphering it. (Let me start with some background.)

So I met an attractive and intelligent women about a month go. She is a professional performer and is perhaps about 6-8 inches taller then me (I haven't bothered to check, when we sit down it doesn't matter.) I don't have any hangups about my height but when I started with the cocky funny I noticed that she has some hang ups about her height since she is taller then all the guys i know.

Any how I made the approach and got her to hang with my friends when we first met. (All under the assumption of doing business and having fun.) The Second time we had a light dinner alone (talked shop and had fun.) She was laughing all night played with her hair and even adjusted to my posture several times. Third time she came to a party of mine and said it was amazing.

Now down to the meat and potatoes. She invited me to one of her performances which i went to tonight. I figured that she might be because with fans and etc so i brought a friend (potential date, but she hasn't earned a date yet.) I also didn't want to be the lone needy loser waiting for her attention in the back alone.

When I got there, she ignored me completely. I called out to her to say hello and she said nothing. During her performance sang a song talking about how she would never date anyone that is shorter then her no matter how amazing he was. (It was a funny song, my date and I laughed.)

When it was all over i went to see her backstage and she gave me the cold shoulder for a bit. So i waited till things settled down. Then she came up to me and gave me a " Hay how it going.. you" Big a big smile and a hug. But she never said my name and was totally impersonal. In fact my date thought I didn't even know her. I told her that I need to leave with my date but it was fun and booked.

OK So WTF happened. Is she trying to challenge me saying I don't date short guys, so your going to have to step up your game? Was she mad/stunned that I brought another attractive girl to her performance?

Any and all insights would be useful

[Decibel]

First, I often will use a short person reference during my pickup because I'm 5'4". Example, I told a tall waitress over the weekend I think I upset the other waitress because I called her short. Basically it aligns me with her world of tall people and makes it a non-issue.
I can't say what happened the other night, but as a musician I'd say you have to consider performance anxiety and what that does to people. Or it could've been your date.
But the thing I noticed is a lack of MM in your post. From what I gather, you made it to LJBF and no further. How sure are you you've taken all the attraction steps and gotten her into comfort?

[Rich_101]

What level did you get her to? A1-A3, C1-C3? You made big mistake if you met her 3 times for three different occasions and never escolated kino! You should have kiss closed her at least. Based on what happened I'd say you built attraction and comfort but never kino'd so she asssumed you weren't alpha male and put you in the "friends zone" and was being nice by inviting you to her show.
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[masterintraining]

To Decibel - Yeah i didn't pick up the intensity with this one yet. I suppose i wanted to get more details on this one because if i hook up with her i might be shitting where i eat. So i figured i make her work for it. I have used this tactic in the past with huge success, but this amount of resistance is a bit higher then most. So why did I approach her then? The 3 second rule.

To Rich_101 - yeah i never escalated kino. The set ups i choose made it difficult to do that. How do touch over a table i can't even each over?


So what do i do next? Whats my move? How do i turn her negative energy to work for me? What do i do about the height thing to disarm her?

[Mentalist]

IF, AND ONLY IF you sure you got enough IOIs, start escalating to Comfort. You are pre-selected and seemed like an interesting person, or else how could you even get 3 dates?

I say you ask her out alone again, and see if she complies. If she comes to the date, start Qualifying her, then at that very same night/day start your Comfort, and really show that you care about her. One thing I like to do is when the date ends, ask her "Call me when you get back home." It shows you are caring etc. and allows you to continue your 7-hours. This may IMO would warm her up from her coldness because you might've just over-DHVed yourself, like you are this high value guy who's been messing with her feelings.

From my experience, you can get a set turning from hot to cold if you don't escalate; she would actually give up because you DHVed too much.

[masterintraining]

Mentalist Thanks for the input man. Good Stuff

[masterintraining]

I talked to some people who said it was a mistake to bring my friend/date to the get performance. Whats your guy's take?

[Decibel]

You can't fail with jealousy or showing preselection, so not a mistake. It's sounding more and more like you're still in A2 or LJBF. You need to pick a venue where you can sit next to her, not across a table (eg a booth, a park bench, your sofa). It will be awkward to introduce kino now, which is why we do it in A1 or A2. Have you spoken to her since the performance? I assume you called her to tell her how great she sounded (of course, add a neg/release after that).

[Rich_101]

I agree with Decibel, unless your so called "date/friend" was a VERY low value girl...I don't see how showing preselection and introducing jealousy plotline doesn't help you. Which begs the question does preselection switch in a HBs head only trigger when she she's you with someone at or beyond their attraction level(ie HB7 see's you with a HB 9) or does it not really matter if you have two HB 8's on ur arm and are gaming an HB10? Interesting....

Back on topic, I'd concur with Mentalist that you made the mistake of not escalating in all those intial encounters and now you're in the LJBF zone. You can try his advice to ask her out again one more time but be sure to really be prepared this time otherwise I'd say move on to greener pastures;)
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[effdizzle]

Well that all depends on what stage your at with the singer, if you haven't escalated enough kino and/or made her feel connected to you on an emotional level then bringing a date may have been a problem, or she may have/had feeling for you and may have felt your date was the Alpha female.

However, bringing a date is a good idea sometimes because when they see you with someone new it can give them a feeling of loss and in turn make them want you more based on that.

It all depends on the girl, try to find ways to get them to talk about how they truely feel about themselves. Which will help you decide if the "date" you bring is another female or just one of your close guy friends.