Newbie Mission Journal - Deft9 [Archive]

Deft9

10-11-2007, 12:03 AM

FR: Wednesday

Went to 3 bars tonight.

Bar #1: Briefly spoke to HB8 by the bar. I asked her if she was waiting for the bartender, since I was trying to get a drink and she was there first. I tried to follow up, but I only had something boring about what she was ordering. She went back to a table with a guy, presumably her date.

Bar #2: I opened one 2-set with a situational opener. There was an HB7 and a UG. I was in this set for about 30 minutes! However, I did not build attraction. We were all seated at the bar, and the target was between me and the UG. I tried very hard to keep the UG involved in the conversation, while ignoring the target. I tease neg'd the target several times, but the conversation kept turning to boring topics and I would get IODs like back-turn from the target and those two would enter a private conversation. I kept getting their attention back with one of my opener routines and the ring routine. Eventually they left to go talk to their friends. My wing did come in at about the 20 minute mark, but he was not able to distract the obstacle and he ejected soon after. It sucked because I was into the HB7... I'm not a touchy feely guy and it feel weird for me to touch other people. I really need to work on that, because I think some kino would have helped.

Bar #3: With only about 1.5 hours left in the night we went to a very crowded bar in town. If just saying something to a girl in the interest of trying to start a conversation counts as opening, then I opened 6 times I think. It was very loud and I only got about 2 minutes of conversation from one set. Not very good, but definitely progress for me compared to how I used to be, which was not speaking to anyone in the bar except my wing. All of my openers where situational, which is probably why none of the sets hooked.

The girl I was gaming (and botched the set) last Wed. was also there, but I didn't recognize her b/c she had her hair different. It was kind of weird because I now view the bar as a surreal gaming location without consequences. Seeing a botched set brought me down a little.

EDIT: I'm not going to lie to you guys. It's fucking frustrating to come home with no kisses, no phone numbers, and no girls. I really hope I'm making progress toward these things, but it's hard to tell sometimes.

Simpliztik

10-12-2007, 08:02 PM

Hey wats up dude glad to see another newb in the forums =) lol but more power to you.. I still havent practiced in field due to 2 many fears but i will eventually... glad to read these types of FR. Preciate it and good luck. Keep doing what your doing man youll pull it off.

Deft9

10-12-2007, 10:18 PM

FR: Friday

FUCK!

How could I think I was doing better? I fucking suck at this! I can't even express how frustrated I am through typing. Tonight I tried going out alone for the first time, which was a big mistake. Mystery's posts are full of stories of him having a blast while solo sarging. He meets tons of girls, gets numbers, and makes friends. He says things like, "you and your wing should split up anyway." I agree with all that, but maybe its not such a good idea if you have crippling approach anxiety. You end up sitting by yourself or doing LAPS around the bar like a jackass if you can't approach. There's no safety net wing to go sit with if you need to preserve your social proof.

I swear all the shit I read about opening and routines sounds so lame and cheezy in my head when I'm actually in-field. I can't even imagine asking someone if they knew elvis dyed his hair in these places. I went to 3 bars tonight. I opened 2 guys who were playing a video game while the girl that was with them was in the bathroom. Thats it. 1 set.

Bar #1 was very slow and quiet. I got food and talked to the video game guys. There were a few girls in the bar, but I didn't talk to anyone else. I left and went to a more crowded bar. Bar #2 was much more crowded. I talked to another AFC who was watching football. When he left I sat down and watched the game. There were several 2 sets that I didn't approach. I left feeling angry at myself. I made a U-turn on the way home and went to Bar #3, where there was an HB8.5 with a sexy green top and an HB8sitting together looking very bored. They might as well have had a force-field around them. I walked past them twice while I was doing my laps. With no wing and no friends I felt completely out of place. I left Bar3 even madder than before.

Oh and I punched my front door when I got home and put a dent in it. Perfect end to a perfect night.

This shouldn't even be a FR. It's just fucking lame.

Deft9

10-13-2007, 12:09 AM

Ahem, all calmed down now. I don't know why I'm so afraid to open. Chickening out is so much worse than rejection.

Deft9

10-13-2007, 10:31 PM

FR: Saturday

I opened 4 sets tonight. None went anywhere. I'm just not DOING the things that I've read about. It is just extreme AA. Nothing complicated. Same shit I've always had.

I have a question though. What do you do when you run into sets you botched in previous nights out? Try again or ignore them?

EDIT: One other thing. In Mystery's DVDs he suggests not masturbating to help with AA. I went 2 weeks and was having trouble sleeping and getting angry easily, like punching my front door. There is definitely some brain chemistry there. Like boxers not having sex before a fight. I'm going to cut back on frequency, but cutting it out cold turkey was not helpful for me. I'm trying to learn how to open, run A2, A3, move, bounce...etc. Trying to socialize myself and learn these skills with my body demanding nothing less than sex was a little bit counterproductive. That was my experience anyway.

Milo_C

10-13-2007, 10:56 PM

In terms of masturbation frequency, what i've been told (by a physician) is this:

a.) if you do it too often, your level of circulating testosterone will decrease.
b.) if you do it too infrequently, your level of circulating testosterone will decrease.

The kicker being that because men have differences in their biology, the optimum frequency for beating off will vary from person to person.

Anyhow, that's why wouldn't recommend quitting entirely unless you anticipate getting some amount of sex in the near future.

Deft9

10-13-2007, 11:07 PM

Hmm interesting. I found this on Wikipedia.

"A 2003 study[1] showed that serum testosterone levels reach a peak seven days after abstaining from ejaculation.

A 2001 study[2] examined the effect of a 3-week period of sexual abstinence followed by masturbation-induced orgasm. It found that abstinence over such periods "does not change the neuroendocrine response to orgasm but does produce elevated levels of testosterone in males."

Tony Danza

10-14-2007, 01:32 AM

Keep up the FR's wags, it shows this game is hard. Keep on sarging and in no time I'm sure you will be a master. My AA is horrible too, god I wish I just didn't give a fuck about rejection, or about what people think about me.

BabyFaceAssasin

10-14-2007, 08:56 AM

Hey! Mad respect on taking massive action. This is a very good start. Here are some things that helped me, HUGE :
-http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/identity-and-beliefs/implementing-a-habit.html TD talks about how all learning goes in a "j" curve. If you can withstand the initial pain ( a couple months) then your results will SHOOOT up. :)

-also make sure you stay consistent with this. That's the only way to get MASSIVE results

-lastly if you feel weird openning indirect try going direct (ex. "Hey I saw you guys sitting down and I just had to come talk to you...for a sec!! I g2g back to my friends in a sec(sit down) but check this out"...stack to openner or DHV story.

Sometimes it's better to go direct, sometimes indirect. Practise both.

Keep up the awesome work!

Decibel

10-15-2007, 07:05 AM

Maybe you're diving into the wrong environment. If A1 is tough for you, start by practicing at the mall. Go "window shopping" for HBs in all the stores (I mean employees), and get them to help you peacock. Force yourself to ask openers that are relevant, then start stacking if you can hook them. Usually they will laugh and play along. This will help boost your confidence. The bar scene is intimidating and probably not a great place to start. As for solo sarging, I do it all the time and it works fine. You shouldn't use the wing as a crutch.

Deft9

10-15-2007, 11:44 PM

FR: Monday

I actually had a decent night tonight. I opened 3 sets and all 3 hooked. I was in-set most of the night.

I'm still having problems with kino. I'm not naturally a touchy feeling guy. I don't mind when girls touch me, but I feel weird touching someone I just met. I need to work on this. My wing was watching me in-set tonight. He said I need to lighten up. I take this stuff pretty seriously. I'm constantly trying to keep the conversation going, slip in negs, pay attention to obstacles, figure out a way to isolate, etc. During all of this thinking I am thinking so much that I'm not displaying the fun, playful vibe that is so crucial. He said smiling and laughing more would really help.

My first set was a warmup. Not much to report there, but it did hook. I wasn't into either girl so I ejected.

My second set (a 3 set) went pretty well. I was getting IOI's from one of the girls and I thought she was pretty attractive. I would have stayed in set, but one of the girls went to the bathroom and pulled the target with her, leaving me with girl #3 and a guy friend of hers who showed up in the middle. They didn't come right back after leaving the bathroom so I went back to my friends. I took it as a sign that she wasn't interested. In hindsight, I'm fairly certain that there was interest there, and I could have stuck around or re-approached later in the night.

The 3rd set had the most potential. Another 3 set, the target was an 8. Very pretty face and great body. Two minutes in she asked for my name and whispers that she's only 19. This is a little bit young for me, but I'm in my mid-20s so I thought I'd see where it went. She said she wanted to play pool, so I go over and get a friend to play doubles with us. Then her girlfriends don't want to play, so she asks if I have another friend who can play. So now its me, her, and 2 of my friends. They were flirting with her quite a bit, which was getting on my nerves. But if I had built attraction properly, they wouldn't have had that opportunity. She was still noticably responsive to me, since I was the first to introduce myself. Also the teams ended up being me and my friend against her and my other friend. This did provide me with an opportunity to neg when she missed shots, but I would rather have played on her team I think. After several games with us, she went back to her friends.

I went over and told her good games. Her group was surrounded by 3 guys. At this point I think I should have isolated to show her the cube or elicit values or something. Instead I blew myself out, as I have a tendency to do if I feel there isn't enough attraction. Those first 25 minutes are so crucial to building that initial attraction. I'm still proud of myself for opening and running 2 quality sets. I didn't open 12, like the mission says, but I was busy practicing A2 and A3, which is just as good in my book.

Ethically, it still feels kind of wrong to me to think of people as sets and targets, but at least MM has given me a framework for meeting and attracting a girl. I'm not trying to fake a connection with a girl, I really do want one. If the ends justify the means, then this has been a good change for my life.

Deft9

10-16-2007, 10:38 PM

I didn't go out tonight. I did a lot of reading and thinking. I love the line, "It's not about confidence, it's about competence." This has really re-framed my attitude. Read opening-related sticking points on bristolair.com.

One of my big excuses has always been not knowing what to say. Having some canned openers and a few routines is helping me get passed this. I also love the concept of warm-up sets. I feel less AA after one or two of these.

Deft9

10-17-2007, 11:29 PM

FR: Wednesday

Wow what a night. I got in a very social mood early at bar #1. I opened some guys for warm up. And 2 sets of girls. At bar #2 I lost count, but I think I opened around 12-15 sets. I got blown out really bad 1 time early with this offensive opener. One girl was wearing a dress that seemed like a teacher's dress and the other was wearing a tight black spandex shirt with some glitter lettering on it. I said: "you know what i noticed about you guys? You're like the oddest friends. You look like a school teacher and you look like you work for the Hustler club (strip club)." Ouch, simultaneously insulted both girls who immediately turned and walked away. Next time I would say, "you look like the conservative one and you look like the party girl." Much, much less insulting and probably would have hooked. Unfortunately I was into HBteacher. She had an awesome body and the dress was actually pretty revealing. Oh well live and learn. Warm up on sets you don't care that much about.

I ran a couple sets for 20 some minutes per set. After a particularly successful routine girls were asking for my name. There was one girl in particular who I was really into and I kept bumping into her throughout the night. I didn't really run any game on her other than opening early on, but there was a certain chemistry there. At the end of the night, my wing told me to try for her number.

I walked around and found her and her girlfriend on the way out. The girlfriend was either really into me, or really drunk, cause she kissed me on the lips as she was leaving. Target says "my friend really likes you." and continues walking away. I grab her hand and pull her back and say I want to see her again. She starts saying how they come there a couple nights a week and some of the other local bars. At this point I should have gone for the number. But I got lost in the moment and didn't. Hopefully I will see her out again.

The girl that I gamed 3 weeks ago has been at the bar every week on Wed. night. Tonight when I saw her I gave her a big hug. I spoke to her briefly throughout the night. At the end of the night, as my wing and I were leaving, she was sitting outside by herself. She said the music was too loud and she hadn't had a fun night. After being kissed earlier and getting a really positive vibe from my target I was feeling pretty balsy. I leaned down and tried to kiss her on the lips. She turned at the last second and I kissed right next to her mouth. Next time she will either be really into me, or really cold. Either way, it was one of the most forward things I've ever done. I was just swelling with confidence and decided to try it.

Anyway I was really feeling it tonight. Fun fucking time at the very least. Oh and I got pulled into a few pictures. It feels so good to post something positive for a change.

Cheers!! :D

Simpliztik

10-18-2007, 07:10 PM

hahahha gratz dude glad for you

Deft9

10-18-2007, 11:03 PM

I just told somebody how I got started and decided I might as well post this in my Journal in case it might help someone else:

I'm just starting out myself. I assume you have the MM book. You need that.

The first approach of the night is very very difficult for me. I was giving my wing $100 at the beginning of the night. For every set I opened, I got $20 back. If I didn't open at least 5 sets, he got to keep what was left. This REALLY motivated me early on. I would ask for their opinion on my shirt or my necklace. Now I do warm-up sets. Talk to guys, UGs, whoever. Sometimes just about what they are watching on the TV (in the bar). This gets me into a TALKATIVE STATE and each approach gets easier after this. I have a couple canned openers that really help early in the night. "You know what I noticed about you guys...." and opinion openers are my favorites so far. Here this article was helpful:

http://www.bristollair.com/outer-gam...ng-points.html

Also,
http://www.bristollair.com/inner-gam...t-ulation.html

I also had to read Dale Carnegie's "how to win friends and influence people." for work just as I was starting out. Its a very famous book. This made me start acting differently all day, trying to take a genuine interest in everyone around me. I'm naturally introverted, so I have to work at this. Sometimes just asking people what they did over the weekend or what they plan to do that night or next weekend opens a whole conversation. Just asking questions about people's lives outside of work. Smiling disarms people also. In the last two months people have told me all kinds of crazy shit about their lives. "Everyone's favorite subject is themselves." This has given me some very interesting topics of conversation as well. For example, I learned that a guy having a cat can be a gay flag, or at least beta male. "Would you date a guy with a cat? See my roomate and I were thinking about getting a cat...but now I'm hearing girls think that's gay..." It's not a great opener, but I invented it and it has hooked for me.

As for DHV stuff, I'm still working on that. I don't have any good stories that flip attraction switches right now. I have learned a few fun tricks/games:
Here's the 5 questions game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aWoN8MvGKw

I think youtube has a lot of fun routines you can run. Also vh1's the pickup artist had some, but you have to be prepared to be called out if you use those. Also fastseduction.com. Routines are everywhere. Here are some icebreaker games for adults. http://www.partygamecentral.com/pgcs...ER+PARTY+GAMES

So I'm conversing, tease negging, doing kino, throwing in a game, which is DHVing, thinking how to isolate, tonight I learned some compliance tests, etc. Luckily I love learning about this stuff so on nights when I don't go out I'm reading about it or watching recommended shows. But I do go out and PRACTICE, which makes all the difference.

So briefly:
1. No good stories yet, just fun games. Learn the Cube for isolation and Secret Self routine. Style has ton's of good routines.
2. A girl I just met kissed me on the lips last night as she was leaving, so I think that will be a DHV story I will use for awhile (pre-selection). I can't use other people's stories. I wouldn't know the details and I'd fuck it up. I'm finding that girls are like little kids when being entertained. They LOVE simple funny stuff, and they get bored easily. As Cosmo magazine knows, girls almost universally cannot resist little "tests." like the best friends test. Being interesting gives me time to convey my personality.
3. For practice, I read Dale Carnegies book and have taken a genuine interest in other people all day long, male and female. I am doing variations of the mission by smiling at every girl I pass, making eye contact and saying "hi!"

Get out and start practicing opening. Take baby steps as you learn this skill. As opening starts to become more comfortable, you'll be wanting to learn DHV routines. Here's a funny thing. Mystery says, "It's not confidence, it competence." Well I'm finding that as I gain competence, I'm also gaining confidence.

I guess I have more to say on the subject than I thought...

azazels_wolf

10-18-2007, 11:46 PM

Good post.

I learned that a guy having a cat can be a gay flag, or at least beta male. "Would you date a guy with a cat? See my roomate and I were thinking about getting a cat...but now I'm hearing girls think that's gay..." It's not a great opener, but I invented it and it has hooked for me.

You really think cats are a gay flag? So holding a chihuahua or a miniature schnauzer (like I've seen many straight guys do) is not a DLV or gay flag, but having a cat is? Hrmmm.

A lot of women love cats, and if you've got an attractive and healthy-looking cat, I don't really see that as a gay flag or beta indicator. It shows that you're probably got an affinity for the same animals that she does, and that's a DHV for women who have had cats. Animals of any sort tend to be an attention-grabber, IMHO. Granted, some women don't like animals period, and that's potentially problematic for a pet owner, but in my experience that tends to be the exception and not the rule, even with cats.

:)

Deft9

10-19-2007, 12:36 AM

I don't see anything wrong with a guy having a cat. The point is women like to offer their opinion on this and the opener has hooked for me so far. Just don't let it become the sole topic of conversation. Stack forward.

Deft9

10-19-2007, 10:04 PM

FR: Friday

First #close
Eh, you'd think I'd be excited, but I'm not. The girl looked pretty good from far away. She was dancing by herself and I went up and walked directly in front of her and started mirroring her movements from a polite distance. She said something like "wow that's pretty impressive." Apparently a guy had been trying to grind her from behind most of the night and he was really pissing her off. I think she really liked my bold, yet respectful approach. We danced for a few songs and she kept moving in closer and closer to me. Here is the problem:

Seeing her up close I was not attracted to her. I really want a girl, and after we moved off the dance floor I could tell she really liked me. The conversation kept falling off and she kept picking it up asking me questions about my job, siblings, hobbies, etc. She was trying very hard. I felt like SUCH a jerk. I politely answered her questions and talked with her. Shit I just realized something. I was already in A3. I kept thinking about practicing my A2 stuff, but it was definitely past that phase. Plus it was 1 on 1. I think she was there alone, which was kind of weird. Anyway, she's like "I have to leave, but we should exchange contact information." "Here take my number." "Call me tomorrow please!!!" *Hugs me and kisses me on the cheek."

Maybe she was picking up my "genuine disinterest," and this made her chase me. Now there's an interesting thought. I would LOVE to be with a girl who was that into me. If only it had been a two-way street.

So what do I do now? Not call her? Call her and try to turn the relationship to friends? What?? She lives right by me, and I know I'm going to run into her again. I don't want her to be thinking "oh there's the asshole that didn't call me." Please advise. :confused:

EDIT: One other thing I want to add. I did lie to her tonight. She asked when my last relationship was and I said three months ago. Then she asked why it ended and I said it just kind of fell apart. I never knew how to get girls before, which is why I've never been in a serious relationship. I absolutely hate lying, but I see no other way around this problem.

CrazyWilly

10-19-2007, 11:00 PM

Its always worth calling a girl who is into you. As guys we're avoid the friend zone. Girls do the same thing. However a girl who likes you can turn into a heck of a pivot and likely has friends and etc....

I spent over an hour last night talking to a girl whos older sister I would happily of dated 8ish years ago. I was completely aware of what was going on during the complete conversation. Not trying to pick her up, just enjoying talking. She's a bit of a bar fly and thus I'll see her out again. As a result of spending an hour talking to her I can use her as a pivot to meet any of her friends. And beyond that if I'm out and don't see any sets I want to open I can talk to her for an hour again. I view that as better than opening a HB10 who is boring as shit.

Good call on reading Carnegie's book btw. Understanding how people work is really what the MM is about and Carnegie as well. Doing the PUA thing for the story is okay I guess. Personally I use the PUA sort of thing as a way to not get blown off after 60 seconds. Its applied psyc. If you want another interesting read, pick up "The Tipping Point" its another applied psyc sort of book which will help you learn how social networks function.

RiVaL

10-19-2007, 11:56 PM

Pipedreamz

10-20-2007, 01:57 AM

Deft9

10-20-2007, 05:52 AM

Isnt that interesting that the girl that you didn't want to pick up was into you? Try to think back to that moment and how your body language was/voice tone. From your posts I seem to believe that you have trouble pushing forward in sets. I think Style once said that if you find yourself stuck or not sure what to do next, just go to the next phase and see what happens. You have nothing to lose
. Sounds like you are also really affected by a woman's beauty. You barely know these girls and you say things like "Unfortunately I was into HBteacher"... there's tons of hot girls bro, try to become desensitized by approaching more of them. Experience in the field will guide you

Yes it is very interesting. I think I was giving her IODs. I kept letting the conversation drop. I looked away. When we were alone, I brought her over to my friends. I barely touched her. And she was EAGER to give me her number and BEGGING me to call her. Incredible.

I think it's normal to be affected by a woman's beauty. I think what you are telling me is that I need to not let it show in my BEHAVIOR. And I agree with that advice 100%.

As for calling (we'll call her HBartist), I am legitimately not attracted to her. Are you sure it's a good idea to call her?

Deft9

10-20-2007, 07:26 AM

Here's another awesome inner-game article. BL has some good stuff man.

http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/identity-and-beliefs/believe-in-your-value.html

Deft9

10-20-2007, 11:47 PM

FR: Saturday

Man long day. I went to this festival at 1 pm. My AFC friends just wanted to sit at this table, but I just can't do that anymore. It makes me anxious. If I'm in public, I need to sarge.

I talked to a 40 year old woman for about 6-7 minutes while I was standing in line for a beer. This got me into a talkative state. They had a stage and a band playing outside the pavilion so I went out there to check out the music and look for girls. I opened a set of 3 girls. My target started showing me interest right way and started ignoring her two friends, who excused themselves to the bathroom for about 25 minutes. I did the best I could to talk to her over the loud music, but it wasn't easy. She was a 19-year-old exchange student. Her English was OK. Very sexy accent. When it started seeming like her friends weren't coming back, I tried to move her into the pavilion where we could have talked. Unfortunately she said she had to stay there and wait for them.

Every time she talked I put my hand on her back as I leaned in to hear. I also touched her arms and shoulders with light touches when I could. This is improved kino escalation for me. Eventually her friends came back. I acknowledged them politely. At this point my friends called me trying to leave. I wanted her number, and I had mentioned bowling earlier. I messed up the #close. I just remember handing her my phone and her handing it back to me saying her Verizon service didn't work or something. She then takes out her cell and has me enter my number. I know I didn't play this right. It all kind of happened fast. I did the best I could with us barely being able to hear each other. I hope she calls, but if not, it's no big deal.

I went out to the bars from 10-1:30. Those first couple sets are always so hard. Despite some improvement, I am still struggling with severe AA.

Substance

10-22-2007, 07:46 AM

Wags, this thread is truly inspirational. Where are you located?

Deft9

10-22-2007, 09:47 PM

FR: Monday

The first bar had about 90 guys and 5 girls. I opened the two HBs, but it didn't go anywhere. I wasn't ready with material and I didn't catch their interest. Brief chitchat and that was it.

The second bar was low-key. It was open mike night so there was live acoustic music. Despite a great atmosphere and plenty of girls I didn't do anything. I felt really nervous. I noticed that I was jamming my straw into my ice water, projecting nervous energy, like Lovedrop says not to do in MM DVDs. I was feeling really disgusted with myself and my wing and I left early. Once I got home I think I had a revelation.

I'm taking this stuff really seriously and it's killing my state. I'm anxiously looking around the bar, eyeing girls, and thinking about my AA. It's really hard to project a fun, playful vibe when you are like this, because it's then its an even harder act.

Next time I go out, I'm going to stop worrying about counting the number of sets I open and stop being so uptight. "You really do have to not care."

I think trying to have a more relaxed attitude will make it easier for me to open sets and make the whole experience a lot less stressful. I still need to push myself to open sets, but I'm going to try to stay out of this scared/nervous state.

Deft9

10-26-2007, 11:10 PM

FR: Friday

I'm back. It's been a slow week. My friends were being really lame tonight saying they didn't feel like going to a bar. So for the second time ever I tried going solo. I didn't do great, but my state was very good.

I made several friends, and met one guy to be a potential wing. We are going out sarging one day this week. He drinks too much, but he definitely has a natural fun, playful vibe. He's willing to go out on weeknights, so I've got that set up. I want to go out 5 nights a week. Meeting a potential wing in my area is great.

I briefly opened a 3-set, but I didn't stack. Instead of hanging around for 2 seconds and thinking of something to say, I got uncomfortable and walked away. Doh! I opened a 1-set, until her BF came back... I re-opened a set from a couple weeks ago. They are always at this bar. I opened a mixed set 2m1f, but it turned out one of the guys was with the f. I also practiced a little hired gun game. The bartender (HB6.5), was definitely into me. She kept coming back and talking to me. She asked me what I do for a living and stuff, touched her hair, etc. I might have been able to bounce her after close, but the guy I met was attracted to her and I didn't want to be a dick.

I'm really trying to become a social person. Last time i went solo-sarging I didn't talk to anyone and I came home angry at myself. I didn't do much with girls tonight, but I'm definitely not afraid go to out alone anymore.

Progress.

EDIT: I want to add one thing to this post. I think the reason my sets aren't going further is because of material. I don't know it well enough and I'm not stacking into anything when I open. I just need to be more prepared. Reading Roxie's FRs made me realize this.

Simpliztik

10-26-2007, 11:26 PM

glad to hear your progressing lol im still cowering =( mayb someday ill step it up :D

Tony Danza

10-27-2007, 12:50 AM

This thread is amazing to read, it really is inspirational. Simpliztik. try going up to a girl and saying something embarassing expecttin to get blown out. Trust me you will be so thankful you did.

CrazyWilly

10-27-2007, 01:47 AM

The reason guys do well is that they open lots of sets and talk to lots of people. I really like going solo since you never have the 'my wing really likes this girl problem.' I bet in a couple weeks you'll be willing to head out totally solo and make it happen. Plus the more you go out the more people you get to know. As a result you will be more comfortable just being out. I spent a summer on an internship in a new city, didn't know anyone except my boss who was married and older. I got good at going out solo and having fun.

Don't worry about the lack of material, instead go natural and keep the conversation going. Try to run some sets and see how long you can stay in them. I kept a girl talking tonight for 30 minutes who wasn't that interesting but I didn't have anyone else to talk to at that moment, so we kept talking. About the only thing I didn't bring up was politics and religion. Trust me, move to natural material and don't worry about having tons of memorized stuff.

Deft9

10-28-2007, 12:30 AM

FR: Saturday

Hard to say how I did tonight. I practically had to DRAG 3 of my friends away from discovery channel and out to a bar and it was already getting late. It was a 11:30 by the time we got there AND they wanted to leave early, so I only got 2 hours in. I opened A LOT. I think I opened around 20 times in a 2 hour period. The high # was mostly due to me not hooking my sets. My new state is AWESOME for opening (fun, friendly guy who genuinely ENJOYS positive interactions with people).

One set did hook with an HB8.5. She was touching her hair a lot as she was talking to me, but then I thought I heard her say she had a fiance so I let the conversation trail off. Later I asked when she was getting married and she was confused. Apparently that's not what she said. I'm not sure why I didn't pick up where we left off. It must have been pre-mature ejectulation. I tried a few negs. I think I insulted one girl, telling her her hat looked rediculous. The delivery just wasn't playful enough on that one.

Here's a thought: The Dale Carnegie stuff works great for getting to know people. But it doesn't cover group theory like MM does and it doesn't build attraction and interest quickly like material does. It's mostly just rapport building. Hmm maybe that's why I was getting blown out so quick tonight.
Dale Carnegie has vastly improved my opening, but I think I need to re-focus on MM.

EDIT: Man I always have more to add. Ok here's what I think happened. Dale Carnegie teaches you to take a genuine interest in other people. I made my primary focus just having positive social interactions with everyone. I'd been practicing this during the day for the last 2 months, but never at the bar. Having this mental attitude at the bar DRAMATICALLY reduced my AA. It gave me a real motive to approach other than seeking sex and allowed me to approach almost without fear. Now I just need to layer on the MM stuff and I'll be getting somewhere. Read what Style says about the light:

http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/understanding/light-and-dark.html

Deft9

10-28-2007, 08:40 PM

FR: Sunday

Sunday is an off night. My bars are very target-poor on Sunday, but I did make some friends, including a couple bartenders. I talked to everyone in my vicinity, focusing on making eye contact, smiling, and BL. My bartender looked like Jessica Simpson. I told her this after a routine. She seemed flattered, but I should have followed with a neg. I think I showed too much interest too early. I'm going to read up on hired guns and try again next time I see her. Jessica Simpson is one of my favorites.

It's nice and quiet on Sunday. It's lower energy. Girls can hear you talk. I think its pretty good for gaming.

Deft9

10-31-2007, 09:10 AM

FR: Tuesday

k-close and #-close.

Wow some actual success. I was walking through the bar and I walked past this girl and opened her. She seemed into me right away. She was smiling, touching me, and laughing at everything I said, even the dumb stuff. She had been talking to this guy, but her attention was quickly turned fully on me. I tease negged her a little and quickly got her qualifying herself to me. I said “so what’s your favorite thing to do outside of work. What are you passionate about.” And she’s like, “nothing really, I watch a lot of TV.” And I negged her “oh your one of THOSE girls.” And she laughs, hits me in the chest and starts qualifying herself. “NO! No! I do this I do that!”

I isolate to a quiet area of the bar where we chat some more. I tell her I’m going to do the Cube with her, and she goes “I have to go to the bathroom first.” Shit. The bathroom is over by my friends so I go over with her and am talking to them while she’s in the bathroom. She comes out and recognizes one of my friends from college (he has freckles). She says “OMG I used to think you were SO hot.” It was pretty uncomfortable but she was curious about this game I mentioned so I am able to re-isolate. I do the cube and her ideal mate is a spotted horse. After the routine I’m explaining it to her and I say how the spots are like how she like freckles. She’s going WILD at this point with how accurate the whole thing is.

After the Cube we talk some more, or rather she’s talking. I take her hands and do the trust test. Her hands go down with mine and back up, but when I squeeze them, she doesn’t squeeze back. I drop her hands. All the while she keeps talking, completely ignoring what I’m doing. It was BIZARRE. She’s going on and on and I say “Shhh, you talk a lot, would you like to kiss me?” She says “Yes” so we kiss. Then we talk some more and she interrupts and says she wants to kiss some more, which we do. There was no tongue in any of this kissing.

Now I’m in pretty unfamiliar territory. I’ve learned that her friends were actually at another bar (long story). I think I have a possible f-close tonight. I’m panicking a little bit in my head. I decide to at least get the number, which I do. Nothing special. I said something like, “we should see each other again.” or something. I get the number, we kiss a little more, and start heading for the door. On the way she starts talking to some guy she knows and I go back to my friends. As we’re walking back to the car I see her way down the street walking to the bar where her friends are. Anyway we’re supposed to meet up tomorrow to pick out a halloween costume for me.

Following Matador’s advice, I text messaged her tonight. I said “Hey tonight was fun! We should get together again soon!” At this point I get into some text game, which luckily my roomate is very good at. She mentions how great her boobs are (her best feature). I’m thinking about saying something like, “They are really nice,” but also thinking maybe I should neg her. I come up with “LOL don’t get too full of yourself now :)” and send this instead at the advice of my roomate. Perfect. We tease back and forth like this, mostly with her saying something and me trying to come over the top. She didn’t respond to my last text, which was “baby, you don’t even want to know.” To be continued...

I’m confused about this point because I know Mystery says in “comfort” you get real with the girl. You’ve expressed mutual interest, so you don’t need to keep tease negging. However, cat string theory and framing yourself as the prize are both consistent with continuing the playful teasing.

At some point I think I should have told her that I am polyamorous, because I plan to continue sarging, but I didn’t see an opportunity. If this works out great, if not, that’s ok too. I’d feel bad if she saw me at another bar hitting on another girl tomorrow night. It’s not like we’re in a real relationship, but I just think it would be better to be up front about it.

Deft9

10-31-2007, 09:13 AM

I'm kind of nervous about tonight. Assuming she doesn't flake on me, which is always a possibility. Part of me is still thinking AFC (please oh please have sex with me!!). But I KNOW this is the wrong attitude. It's very unattractive. I think the right attitude is, "If she behaves herself and does the right things, maybe I'll let her have sex with me. If it doesn't happen, it's no big deal because I can just go out and meet another girl."

Nevertheless it's still hard to change my mental attitude. It's all inner-game stuff.

Deft9

11-02-2007, 12:55 PM

LR (<not a typo): Wednesday

Well she didn’t flake. I told her to be at my house at 6 pm and she showed up at exactly 6. I wanted her to come to my place first so she could come in and look around, like the “ideal date” described in the MM book. I remembered the line “just babysit her through comfort and put your time in.” I didn’t think of it as babysitting exactly, but I made sure not to escalate too soon.

What can I say, things went great. After reading Mystery’s comments on the Siphon (sp?) post I wanted to do a Day 2 that was based on running errands rather than dinner and a movie. We went shopping for a Halloween costume for me and then went the grocery store to get some candy for the trick or treaters (domestic role-play). She seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but trying to pick out a halloween costume for me seemed to warm her up.

My plan was to get some food for dinner at the grocery store cook it together, but she had already eaten. I wanted to throw in some more errands like library and clothes shopping to get more locations in, but the trick or treaters were coming from 7 to 9 and I wanted to be back at the house. This also worked out great since we had a reason to stay in. I sat next to her on the couch, but with space between us. I had 2 hours in from Day 1 and I was trying to get to 7 hours of comfort building total. I didn’t escalate at all until around 8:50 (almost 5 hours of total time). While we were watching TV I pulled her closer to me and put my arm around her. I kept compliance testing. I would find a reason to take her hand (like nice nails) and then set it on my leg to see if she would leave it there. I think we started holding hands and pretty soon we were kissing. She was drunk the night before, but on this night neither of us had had anything to drink.

I had already set up candles earlier, and she asked me to turn out the lights, which I did. Things continued to escalate on the couch. Clothes were removed. She gave me a HJ. I suggested we go upstairs to get more comfortable. At this point I got some LMR, but she seemed more concerned with me not wanting to see her again after sex than anything else. I told her I wasn’t like that (and I’m not). I said we should just “see what happens and go up for a little while.” I lit candles in my room and we had sex. We talked in the candlelight until pretty late. She didn’t climax, and I need to read up on how to do this.

As cold and analytical as MM is, I did feel a connection with this girl. It wouldn’t have gone as far as it did if I hadn’t been attracted. I thought MM would work for me when I first started learning about it two months ago, and it did.

I know I still have a LONG way to go, but it was a great night.

I told her we should wait a few days before we see each other again. She called the next day and wanted to come over. I said OK, even though I was exhausted. We had some more fun. Basically I’m at the start of a relationship. Having my physical needs taken care of I’m not very motivated to sarge. I’m going to take a break from sarging and read some of David Shade’s material.

Simpliztik

11-02-2007, 01:04 PM

gratz man thats a huge damn step... glad to see it happen lol i guess i might as well start a newb field report =)

Deft9

11-04-2007, 09:46 AM

FR: Saturday

I wasn't feeling very motivated to sarge last night, but I was out with my friends having a good time so I opened a few sets. I'm still not happy with the first 3 minutes of my game. I'm opening, but I never feel prepared to take it somewhere QUICKLY. You really need to reach that social hook point and lock-in to get anywhere.

Polynikesdb

11-04-2007, 09:43 PM

Thought you weren't going to sarge anymore?

Either way, you've made awesome progress! :)

Deft9

11-06-2007, 06:30 AM

LOL yeah, it's kind of natural now though. I just want to talk to women who are around me.

I've seen the girl a few times now. I can't figure out how to make her orgasm. She gets close though. It's going to make me really happy when she finally gets there. I bought David Shade's manual, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet.

Polynikesdb

11-06-2007, 06:46 PM

When you are inside of her, don't go completely straight in, go off to a side. If you've felt her cervix with your tip, go to the left or right, depending on your position. If you look in an anatomy text, a part of the vagina that is the back corner behind and to the side of the cervix is called a fornix (for 'fornication' ;) ). To get the orgasm, you've gotta hit one of those spots repeatedly; for the women I've been with, doing this for around 4-5 minutes got them to orgasm. Don't do the jackhammer thing. More than 1 but less than 2 thrusts per second... that seems to be the best rate. Once per second is the slower side of a medium pace.

Sometimes it's easier to get them to orgasm with them on top. If that's the case, they have the position down. Depending on the girl, it's up to you or her. (if it's up to her, you will know it and she'll be riding you like a bronco) If it's up to you, put your arms around her (hug her) as she goes up and down and around on you. Follow her with your own hips; there will probably still be in and out penetration. Sometimes like this I swear it feels like I'm on a sound wave, with an amplitude and frequency. Just follow 'it.' As the amplitude gets larger, she will cum.

Hope that helps. I'm by all means no Kama Sutra, but just about every women I've been with I've made orgasm. There's a million ways to do it, I'm sure Shade's manual will help you, too.

Deft9

11-06-2007, 09:20 PM

Cool thanks for the advice!

That's interesting you say that because the other night she was on top and she kept telling me to squeeze her, (ie bear-hug). This had real effect on her. She still didn't quite get there though... It would help if I could last longer. I have to say all of it is a lot more fun than video games.

Polynikesdb

11-06-2007, 10:25 PM

Ok, I have to restate the frequency thing after looking at a stop watch. The fast pace is above 2 thrusts/sec. This will happen, in the traditional orgasms that I've experience, for less than one minute before she is about to cum. But to get there, your attention has got to be on her; you need to be tuned in to everything that she's doing.

For stamina, I find that it is really easy to orgasm during the first portions of penetration, due to the realization of having penetration after all the things that came before it. If I stave this off, by stopping, slowing down, even pulling out if I have to, then I will be good to go for hours. For some reason, missing that orgasm opportunity gives me stamina like a porn star.

Deft9

11-22-2007, 12:15 AM

FR: Wednesday

I'm back. I'm still seeing the girl from 3 weeks ago. She still has not had an orgasm. In my free time, I've been focusing almost entirely on sexual technique. My latest discovery is that the male orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes. It's possible to have the orgasm and prevent ejaculation to avoid the "refractory" period and continue having sex. I bought "multi orgasmic male" to learn how to do this, but it hasn't come in the mail yet. The sex has gotten better and better and I'm confident that in time, she will come.

On to the field report. I haven't gone out sarging in a long time. I guess after my success and newly learned state control, I got a little overconfident. I started thinking that since I can open easier now, I could just be myself. Well guess what, you still need to have stuff to talk ABOUT, and normal lamo boring conversation does not hold girls' interest for very long.

Tonight brought me back down to earth. I opened several sets (maybe 7). No conversation lasted longer than 2 minutes. I need to get back to MATERIAL. All night I felt like I was just asking them where they live, where they go to school or what their job is. Same old boring shit that everyone else asks them. Ah well live and learn.

dex5

11-22-2007, 02:33 AM

Wags,

Congrats on your successes. Trying to figure out how to get "your" lady to orgasm seems like a high-quality problem to me!! As someone BRAND NEW to the forums and to the whole PUA "thing" I commend you on your courage and persistence, because all of this seems SO DAMN HARD, especially at the beginning.

Seems like you've come a long way in a somewhat quick time period. I'm wondering how long you've been at this, and how you would rate your progress so far, compared to where you started from. Did you expect the amount of success you've had so far to take as long as it has, or are you pleased with the rate of your progress?

Deft9

11-22-2007, 08:32 AM

Wags,
Seems like you've come a long way in a somewhat quick time period. I'm wondering how long you've been at this, and how you would rate your progress so far, compared to where you started from. Did you expect the amount of success you've had so far to take as long as it has, or are you pleased with the rate of your progress?

Some people post FR's about how they get laid their first night trying MM. It's definitely been a lot harder road for me. AA is no joke and I've really struggled to get through a lot of my mental blocks and inner-game issues. I'm still dealing with them, like last night I broke the 3-second rule a bunch of times. However, I am now pretty comfortable initiating conversations with complete strangers in most situations.

I made a commitment to myself to change my life 3 months ago. I gave up video games, changed my appearance dramatically, and got serious about getting a woman. I used to read a lot of fiction, but now I'm constantly reading self-help/educational type books related to inner-game, outer-game, or sexual technique.

I am no where near my goals, but having a sexual relationship with a girl is certainly a milestone and a sign of progress. I'll say it this way: I'm very pleased with the progress I've made, but not content with where I'm at.

EDIT: I've also been reading books on financial planning, since I realized that the same intelligence that can be used to get girls can also be used to get rich. Just find a system or a framework that works (like MM) and apply it to finances. Consider that if you earn 10% annual interest on $1,000,000, that's $100,000 a year. Once you build up the principal you can just live off the earnings. How nice would that be? If I invest a portion of my salary every month wisely, I might be able to retire at 40, which would be nice. Or I could keep working until 50. Combining my own principal with inheritance from my parents and grandparents, I could be worth $10,000,000 by the time I'm 50. 10% of that is $1,000,000 a year, which I could live off of. Not a get rich quick scheme, just simple financial planning and the magic of compound interest. The book I got about it is called "The Wealthy Barber" but I'm sure the concepts are discussed in all of them. HEALTH, WEALTH, AND LOVE.

EDIT2: I'm not a financial planner. I've just STARTED educating myself about these concepts.

Cloud

11-23-2007, 04:16 AM

So probably optimum is masturbation every 2 weeks.
I think that no masturbation means no sexual thoughts, means letting your sterile logical brain take you over!

Anyway, just wanted to pay my respect to your efforts.

Myself, I just found out about the existence of PU Art 2 months ago.
I am still working up the courage to go out and DO this newbie shit.
Have read Mystery's basic material, memorized openers.
Am lying in bed awake, imagining opening sets.

Somehow I believe this preparation is important to me. I mean, you don't just learn by failing. In order to learn, you must also give your best.

I do practise on female friends when I'm in a bar, and the theories really DO improve my value. I do lead the men, test for compliance with the women. I am generally a pretty social guy, but still and always swimming the friendship lane.

Get IOI's from other women now and then lately, but still am clueless about what to do about it. Flabbergasted I mean.

Still haven't opened properly. But you'll hear from me again soon! My promise!

This forum, and your thread, Wags, gives me so much hope!

Mr. Such_A_Nice_Guy_LJBF no mo

Deft9

11-23-2007, 07:35 AM

I found masturbating once a week (Saturday night after coming home from the bar) was ideal for me. This gives you all week to build up for Friday and Saturday night. For me it was hard to sleep on Thurs. and Friday nights because of the build up, but it DEFINITELY makes you more aggressive in approaching. If every 2 weeks works for you, then by all means go for it.

Here is a brief summary of my path:
1. Make a personal commitment to change your life.
2. Get rid of your limiting beliefs (ONE-itis will hold you back). Logic will hold you back. You have to trust that the EXPERTS know what they're doing.
3. Approach about 12 sets a night 4 nights a week for 4 years. As you get blown out of sets at least 3 things will happen: you get desensitized to it (it really isn't a big deal), you gain confidence as you gain competance, and you socially calibrate so you get blown out less often.

My progress has stalled since I picked up a girl. By having sex regularly my physical needs are being met and my free time is spent learning sexual technique, which I still consider an important part of being a PUA.

dex5

11-23-2007, 02:50 PM

3. Approach about 12 sets a night 4 nights a week for 4 years. As you get blown out of sets at least 3 things will happen: you get desensitized to it (it really isn't a big deal), you gain confidence as you gain competance, and you socially calibrate so you get blown out less often.

Dude, you've been doing this? I thought you just got started not too long ago. Just curious.

dex5

11-23-2007, 02:52 PM

edit: I mean, have you been doing this for 4 years ?

azazels_wolf

11-23-2007, 03:00 PM

Wags:

If you still haven't received the book yet, take a look at this:
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MultipleOrgasm.htm

The website also has lots of info on female orgasm, etc.

Here's another perspective if you need it:
http://sexuality.about.com/od/orgasms/ht/htmalemultiples.htm

Deft9

11-23-2007, 04:17 PM

No I've only been doing it for 3 months. Mystery says to do it for 4 years in his DVDs.

It shouldn't be a problem though. It's part of the lifestyle.

azazels: very nice links thank you!

Deft9

11-24-2007, 01:06 AM

FR: Friday

I sucked again tonight. My main excuse has always been "I don't know what to say" and I was thinking that all night. I talked to 5 or 6 girls and made some new guy friends, but overall it was a pretty weak effort. I need to get back to the 4 nights a week, 12 sets a night, running material gameplan. A1 to C1 over and over and over....

Pipedreamz

11-24-2007, 02:21 AM

MM comes easy to some and harder for others. You've got good work ethics though and Im sure you'll get it eventually. When opening just make sure u have the right body language, toss a false time constraint and a neg.
Then stack into a couple of interesting stories or routines to build A2 with a neg or two intermittently. Doing something special here like reading palm, the cube, etc. usually works wonders.
Then begin to qualify the girl by asking things about her that you'd actually like to know. I usually ask her what she would be if she could be anything or if she's a good cook, etc.

Thats all there really is to it to build attraction with MM and add in kino throughout the interaction. Make up a routine stack and that should really help with the "I dont know what to say" part

deus a mechina

11-24-2007, 03:30 PM

yea man direct game definitley will boost your confidence because it puts you in a state where you don't care which in itself is very alpha

Deft9

12-02-2007, 03:34 AM

FR: Saturday

House party. I had a very fun night. Before I went I remembered one of my old posts about how effective it can be to be in a fun, friendly, interested-in-meeting-everyone state combined with pick-up techniques. Although I had limited girls to choose from because it was a house party, I got some IOIs from my first target, but then she left. My second target gave me 3 IOIs, but I didn't start qualifying her, so she moved on.

An engaged girl who was there with her fiance told me she liked me and kept laying her head on my shoulder. It was kind of uncomfortable. A UG sat on my lap for awhile....I just had FUN all night. However, as my "targets" went home, I decided to help my wing get his target. I occupied obstacles for about a half an hour so he go some 1on1 time with her. He didn't go for a kiss or number close, so he had a tough time getting in bed with her (she was sleeping there). Eventually we had to leave. Oh well, I met LOTS of girls and had a FUN night.

Deft9

12-10-2007, 08:22 PM

FR: Monday

More failures. Tonight was definitely an off-night. It's dreary out, it's Monday, and I went to six bars and probably saw a total of 20 girls.

But you know what? I STILL went in, spotted sets, and didn't approach. I broke the 3-SECOND RULE on two perfectly good 3 sets (both 3f). I had a good opener ready and everything. Disgraceful man...

I didn't feel like going to any more empty bars in the rain so I came home.

I may need to cut down on the frequency I'm seeing my g/f. I'm trying to build a SKILL SET here and having her to fall back on is giving me an excuse to not try as hard.

Polynikesdb

12-10-2007, 09:48 PM

If there is one thing that I've learned from my past relationships, it is to NEVER let someone else get in the way (no matter how small) with me actively being myself or becoming the person who I want to be. It is a sure sign that the relationship is not healthy.

For what it's worth...........

Deft9

12-21-2007, 10:53 PM

FR: Friday

I didn't do that well tonight, but it was a good learning experience. I still had a lot of trouble opening, but I did manage to open 4-5 sets. One woman bought me a drink, even though I left this set right afterwards because I wasn't attracted. In retrospect I should have practiced gaming them for awhile.

There was one girl who really hooked. I was talking to her for about 2 hours. She had this adorable facial expression, really cute. Something like this, with her eyebrows both going up in the middle:

<=)

Anyway, she kept touching me, hugging me, etc. At one point she started telling me about this guy she's been on one date with and how their second date is tomorrow. I think I let her stay on this bad thread way too long. Even though I'm not a good dancer she wanted to dance so I went up and gave it a shot. I think she appreciated the effort, but I really need to take some professional lessons.

I did a couple of things wrong. 1. I didn't close. 2. I didn't close early enough. I need to get it down to 10-20 minutes. We were almost kissing when we were dancing, I don't know why I didn't then. I missed the window. Eventually she got sick from having drank too much and went out back to throw up. I only had water. After she got sick I PMY'd (pleasure meeting you'd this should be an acronym) her and her friends and left her to their care.

It was too late to close at that point. I think it would have seemed desperate to try to close a girl who just threw up, and I am selective, not desperate. Reading Mystery's post archives at work all day and opening sets is definitely making me BETTER.

Deft9

12-22-2007, 05:48 PM

Today I was thinking about one of my favorite openers. From Style, it's called:

"Hey did you see that guy?"

Then you discuss a weird or interesting guy there. But what I was thinking is that it's actually much more dynamic than that. You can replace "guy" with girl/fight/show/anything of interest. I guess it's basically just your standard situational opener. It immediately grabs attention though and I love it.

Now if I could just stop forgetting my FTCs...

Deft9

12-22-2007, 07:53 PM

Man I just LOVE this stuff so much. Everything about pickup seems like it was made for ME. Here's a good video of Matador discussing how to handle an AMOG's compliance test. He gives you the STATE go in to handle it, which is more valuable than any 1-liner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi3skOdsb84&NR=1

Deft9

01-08-2008, 09:39 AM

FR: Monday

I changed my name since my mLTR almost found my journal while using my computer. The old name is my nick in real life, so I'm going with this from now on. She STILL has not had an orgasm, but using Seymore Butt's technique (basically have her put her legs up) from Complete Guide to Female Ejaculation got her to about 98% (she gives me percentages).

I went to a smaller bar with live music. It was hard to hear. I got there really late and totally sucked. AA sucks. One drunk woman told me I smelled really good. She was about a 7.5 too. If I could do it over again I would have tried to get somewhere with her. I leaned in (doh) and tried to open a set. It didn't hook. The rest of the time I stood with my AFC friends looking quiet and shy. I'll do better next time.

Deft9

01-11-2008, 11:56 PM

FR: Friday

Another weak night. I opened about 3-4 times, but none of the sets hooked. I talked to a few guys trying to get into a talkative state. One of the girls was an HB8.5, but I didn't stack forward after the opener.

I'm not going out enough. I might have to start going out alone more to get more time in-field. I think this will help me stop feeling like every set is a "big deal." Unfortunately I usually end up looking like the creepy guy who's by himself since I have so much trouble opening sets.

Deft9

01-12-2008, 10:05 PM

FR: Saturday

I bought two new sport coats (one at Guess and one at The Gap). I really like them because they look good with a T-shirt or with a collared shirt.

I met my wing at a bar tonight, but we spend the whole night at a table with his friends (2 couples). I didn't open any sets. I did talk a lot at the table though, which still took effort because I'm normally introverted.

I'm going to try to go out again tomorrow night.

Deft9

01-13-2008, 11:01 PM

FR: Sunday

Oh man oh man. I was feeling it tonight. I bet I talked to 15 girls. It felt so GOOD to get that rush again. I ran a 4 set for about 10 minutes. I had a couple of other sets going for ~5 minutes. I got a female bartender interested by making one of those paper square games from elementary school (the one with colors and numbers). She brought me paper and a pen so I could tell her her fortune.

Ok, but there's one set in particular I want to talk about. HB8.5blond. I met this girl a couple months ago at a bar where she was working, but it was only a brief introduction. I actually didn't recognize her tonight, but I kept smiling at her and she came up to me on her way to the bar. She was at a table with a military looking guy. She goes "why didn't you come say hi." I say "Oh it looks like you are on a date or something." "Oh I'm not with him." We talked for a bit, she kept touching me. There's this electric attraction spark I get when talking to some girls, and it was definitely there between us.

Anyway, she goes back to her friend. To my wings I'm like "Shit I have to talk to her more." Finally they want to go to another bar. I go over to say goodbye. I interrupt her friend as he's telling a story. (I was trying to be polite about it and just say a quick goodbye). He actually gets up and walks away. She stands up and gets right in my face smiling. I wanted to kiss her SO badly. She grabs me and gives me a long hug. I barely know this girl, I swear. The sparks were just THERE. I could FEEL it. Smiling, eye contact, touching.

If I'd done Mystery's kiss close or Kosmo's "You don't know how hard I'm trying not to kiss you right now." I would have been IN. FUCK! She's like "OMG you have to come see me." and tells me when she's working next. So it's not over, but the window may already be closed. Still, she remembered me from like 4 months ago, so maybe it's not too late. I opened a bunch more sets after that, but this girl has really been on my mind all night.

This "going out every night" really gets you in the swing of things. I love it!

Deft9

01-24-2008, 11:20 PM

FR: Thursday

It's been almost 2 weeks since the last time I went sarging. I sucked tonight. I wanted to talk to the shooter girl from my last field report, and I did. I didn't have much time with her since she was working, and I was nervous. I've never gamed a hired gun before and it didn't feel right to ask for her # without the normal interaction flow. I missed my chance two weeks ago and I think it's time to move on.

I opened this girl wearing a shirt that said "Italian" in shiny cursive lettering. I said "Are you Italian?" Her (sarcastic): "How did you know?" She was giving me negative body language. Me: "Skin tone. I used to date an Italian girl, but never again." I was trying a false disqualifier here but I think I did it wrong. She goes "Why?" Me: "Crazy Temper" Her: "Yeah we get that sometimes." Backturn and return to friends.

Also an HB9 and a guy she was with came and played pool with me and my friends. She asked about my shirt and my necklace. I talked to her for a little while. I talked to the guy a bit. He was pretty laid back. They were both really drunk.

The night mostly consisted of me not opening sets and catching shit for drinking water. I plan to go out again tomorrow night though.

Deft9

01-25-2008, 10:49 PM

FR: Saturday

I did a little bit better tonight. I talked to a bunch of girls. I flirted a lot. I tried to neg this group of girls by saying they looked underaged, but it didn't really go over that well. Later I told them I was just playing around.

One girl tried to flirt with me by elbowing me playfully in time to this Nirvana song. Unfortunately I was too slow and I didn't kino ping back. I tried to smooth it out by saying how I liked Nirvana, but sometimes they bring me down in a place like a bar. So basically I dissed a band she was just enjoying. Next time I'll just ping back.

Overall the quality of the girls in the bar was really low. There was one 9 in the whole bar and she was with a guy. There were no other girls above a 7. My friend got a fool's mate with a UG.

I'll tell you one thing I did wrong. I didn't commit to gaming any one girl. I was kind of being fun and playful all night, but I never really selected a single target and tried to get somewhere with her. Maybe tomorrow night.

Deft9

01-26-2008, 11:17 PM

FR: Saturday

What can I say. I let my AA get the best of me. I chatted with the girls that knew the people I was with, but I didn't approach a single set. Sometimes I think about what a disappointing field report I'm going to be posting. Sometimes I think about how I'll be sitting at home later, thinking about how a bad rejection wouldn't even matter to me.

But still, I let AA beat me tonight. :mad:

EDIT: I post too many like this. It makes me sick to think about it.

Deft9

01-29-2008, 09:24 PM

FR: Tuesday

It was a slow bar night. I opened 4 or 5 times. The interactions went ok, but no sets really hooked. I don't think I stacked forward quickly enough into really interesting material.

I remembered how when Spoon was paralyzed by AA they told him to just go say "Hi." Also Matador mentioned this technique as being good for severe AA. I did this once. My other openers were observations about the girls tonight. I commented on this one girl's Chanel glasses and she handed them to so I could try them on. I should have had her come over to me because I think she liked me.

An HB 9.5platinumblond came in and sat down next to me, but she was with her BF, who looked like a large AMOG. I wanted to converse with them to find out for sure if he was, but he didn't look very friendly.

Deft9

01-30-2008, 08:56 PM

This isn't a FR. I didn't go out tonight even though I wanted to. I couldn't get a wing. I know it's weak, but it's so hard to maintain social proof when solo-sarging if your sets don't hook.

I finally got alt.seduction.fast up in my newsgroups on Outlook Express. I kind of like it. It's like getting e-mails. I also registered on P.A.I.R. in hopes of meeting some guys who are as into PU as I am and live near me.

As for the hot spots. I live in a county near a large town. It's not a city though. There are about 20 bars near my house. On thurs-sat. just about all of those are crowded, but on the other days of the week, there's usually only one with a good crowd. So I'm trying to figure out the best places to go on the off nights.

Deft9

02-02-2008, 11:40 PM

I definitely did OK tonight. I went skiing today, and I had like an 8 minute conversation with some random lady on the chairlift. I was practicing juggler-style, just being pleasant and making statements about my own life in response to her. Also I tried to be genuinely interested in her.

My friends were over at one of their apartments playing video games, and it was like pulling teeth just to get ONE GUY to go out with me for social proof.

At the bar, I got into a talkative state early. I opened this old lady who was sitting next to me, followed by a guy, and then some HBs. A UG hooked and kept touching me, but I wasn't attracted to her and decided not to push forward. Later all the guys from the apartment showed up. They like that bar because the beer is cheap, but it's target-poor.

The second bar was MUCH more target rich, but very high energy. My energy level wasn't high enough, but I opened a 2-set. After 2 minutes or so they said they were waiting for their B/Fs who worked there. A moment later the BFs showed up and put their arms around the girls. Oh well...I talked to a lot of girls and had a pretty fun night.

EDIT: One thing I want to add to this FR is that I want to get back into the mentality that it's just a game. I think that's a good mentality to have in the bar/club.

Deft9

02-03-2008, 11:44 PM

Oh man I'm getting my game back.

Tonight I had a drunk girl do a hand stand in front of me and shake her ass on me. Then she fell on the floor (not my fault). I had an HB8.5 tell me I'm one of those guys who can talk about anything (which I'm not, but I held her attention for awhile). And I had an HB8 tell me I was really cool. I should have gone for the number close on that last one, I KNOW it...Oh and I talked to HB9 bartender for about 5 minutes. I also opened a 3 set and some other random sets that didn't really go anywhere.

I did really well tonight. If I could just sarge for 7 more straight days, I'd start getting consistent closes. I'm so close....

Deft9

02-06-2008, 09:29 PM

One set hooked. I was playful, I negged, I did some kino. Then for some reason I ejected. I opened maybe 7 other times. Nothing happened. There were a couple 10s there. I'm going to that bar every wednesday from now on.

Of all the material I've read, I'm never prepared in the bar, and the conversations always seem to hit a lull. I've read plenty of routines, but I don't have a routine stack per say of canned material to fall back on.

If anybody has read a good article with solo-sarging tips, I'd really like to read it.

Deft9

02-07-2008, 09:43 AM

I haven't made nearly as much progress as I'd like. It's been 6 months since I first decided to learn PU. On the one hand, I now have a g/f with an understanding that we're in a polyamorous relationship. On the other hand, she is not an HB, and I have not been able to pick up any other girls.

I bought Style's "Rules of the Game." A lot of the best routines I've read are from Style. I'm going to try to do the Stylelife Challenge. I still like Mystery's 12sets/4nights/4years mission, but maybe the Stylelife Challenge will help with this AA I keep wrestling with. As always, I'll be posting my experiences here.

Deft9

02-07-2008, 10:00 AM

1. Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.
At first glance, I think most people think I'm pretty serious. I never play wrestle with my friends or goof around, and people generally listen when I speak. Once they get to know me, people still think I'm serious, but also kind, funny, confident, and smart. My closest friends know I still say really dumb things in social situations sometimes.

2. Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.
A ladies man, like Rhett Butler. Also, as someone who is REALLY fun!

3. List 3 of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.
1. Absolute number 1 thing is my absurd approach anxiety. It's irrational, stupid, cowardly, etc. I hate it.
2. Sometimes I DLV or DLV my friends unintenionally. I'd like to be able to recognize these and stop doing them.
3. I hate when my sets stall. Too often I can't think of anything to say and I get that awkward silence. I want that to STOP.
4. I don't have a big problem with insecurity, but I do have some. I'd love to be totally confident and comfortable with myself and non-reaction seeking.

4. List 3 new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.
1. I'd like to be able to open any group, in any situation, and be able to cross the social hook point.
2. I'd like to break through both my AA, and my escalation barriers. I want to minimize both.
3. When people see me, I want to almost always have an HB on my arm. There are 10s that live around me. I want at least one as my g/f.

Deft9

02-09-2008, 11:23 PM

I ended up at that shitty bar again. My friends like it because it's cheap, and I went along because I don't have the balls to go solo-sarging anymore for some reason.

There was ONE HB at the bar and a TON of UGs. This bar SUCKS! I opened a few sets of UGs and couldn't take them anywhere. Maybe there was no charge to the interactions because I wasn't attracted, maybe my game just sucked...whatever.

I did open briefly open the HB, but I was being careful because she was with a large group of guys and I didn't talk to them first to find out if she was available.

Later I talked to her girlfriend and found out the HB was married with one kid.

Tomorrow night I plan to solo-sarge. I'm clinging to my friends and it is holding me back. When Matador first started out, he was going 6 nights a week, often alone. Since I can't find anyone as dedicated as I am, I need to start doing this.

Deft9

02-15-2008, 11:57 PM

I wussed out on the solo-sarging last Sunday. I also didn't go out all week, but I did see my g/f on Tues. and Thurs.

Tonight was good. I talked to 9 girls that I remember. Here is a brief summary of the sets:

1set-girl who met my wing last night. She came up to him as soon as we walked in. He's really quiet, and it might have been wrong, but I liked her so I started talking to her more than him. She gave me some IOIs and also said goodbye to me at the end of the night.

2set-I sat down at the bar next to 2 girls and started talking to them. I talked to them off and on for about an hour. I didn't feel strong attraction for either one though. I tried some of the material I've come up with. It's interesting at least, although not really DHV-laced. At one point a guy came up and tapped one of the girls on the leg and asked her name. Later she told me she was kind of creeped out by him. But then even later, both of them were sitting at a table with him and his friend. I guess sometimes just showing interest is enough.

2set-One of these 2 really liked me. Unfortunately, she had the gummy smile. Maybe it's too picky, but I just don't like it when I can see a lot of a girl's gums when she smiles. It's just something I don't like. She had a really nice personality though and kept re-initiating the chat with me, twice when I had walked away and was in a different part of the bar. One of my wings got both of their numbers. He was just like "We should hang out tomorrow. What's your number?" Then to her friend "I might as well get yours too." Hah!

1set-This one was brief. I like to point out weird looking guys on the dance floor and use that as my opener. The girl was a UG though, so I didn't take it anywhere.

3set-these were my favorite. There's a new law in my state where people aren't allowed to smoke in the bar. I LOVE this. It's so easy to talk to people while they are smoking. I always go out with my friends when they go out to smoke. One of the girls started qualifying to me. I liked that.

Some things I think I'm doing wrong are not escalating the interaction, and not approaching when I want to. Often times I feel like I'm being reaction-seeking when I speak. I start talking too fast and too much, hoping they will like me. I gotta watch that. The girls I am most attracted to are often surrounded by guys, and I NEVER enter these sets. So yeah...no number closes or kiss closes so I guess it wasn't THAT good a night.

Deft9

02-17-2008, 11:26 PM

#-close

Alright, I was in bed asleep at 11 pm. 2 of my friends call me up and say they are coming to my town. I tell them the best bar for a Sunday night, and that I'm not sure if I'm coming. I get up, get in the shower, and head out.

On the way, I call to ask how it is, and he says they have turned around. So here I am, in the car, on my way, showered, dressed, colonge, everything. I pull over to turn around and say to myself, "fuck it" and head to the bar for some solo-sarging.

Right away I meet two guys at the bar and we start talking about the NBA all-star game. I stand by them and keep talking, and it looks like we're all together. I start opening sets, keeping Spoon's mantra in mind ("There is something interesting about this person that I would like to know.").

I meet maybe 5-6 HBs, but I'm not able to keep any of the interactions going. A woman comes up beside me and opens me. I think she's in her early 30s, turns out it's mid-40s. She came alone and is desperate for someone to talk to. So I talk to her. At the end of the night gives me her number. I have trouble putting her name in my phone and we have a text-msg race, me using T9word and her using standard ABC. She wins but mis-spells a word.

I walk her to her car with her arm in mine. The k-close (and probably f-close actually) is hanging in the air, but I decide not to take it. She is 18 years older than me. It's too much. She is texting me now...just offered to be a pivot if I want. I told her she's a fun, interesting, beautiful person. If she keeps going out, she will meet the right guy in no time.

K I'm going to bed.

Deft9

02-19-2008, 12:00 AM

Fourth day in a row going out. Saturday my g/f was with me though so I didn't sarge, but I was still out at a bar.

Tonight my wing and I went to my Monday night bar. It was kind of crowded. I walked right up to the bar and opened this 2set with a cute little blond HB7.5. I negged her a couple times and chatted them up then like an idiot I EJECTED. I was IN and I walked away.

After sitting at another area of the bar for awhile, my wing and I left. There weren't many other girls there, and none that were so easily approachable. We went into town and hit about 7 bars, but there were only a couple girls in each. There was a 3 set of HB8s in one of the bars, but I didn't OPEN as we walked by. Anyway long story short, eventually we go back to bar #1 where I re-open my 2set, saying how they haven't moved from their chairs.

I start talking. My wing makes an error in seating, as he sits BEHIND the two girls, who are listening to me. Their backs block him out. Eventually the obstacle (who was very talkative) goes to the bathroom and tells me to keep her seat (next to target). The target does not go with her to the bathroom, so I figure I'm doing OK.

Obstacle comes back and starts REALLY talking. She is pulling the target's attention away from me. Finally my wing moves around to the other side and engages the obstacle. In our brief moment of alone time, I #-close the HB7.5. I can tell she isn't really that attracted to me. I think I tried to talk too much. She is still the hottest girl I have ever gotten a number from and it is my second #close in 2 nights.

I really need to SPEED things up in pickup. It's hard to keep an interesting chat going for so long off the cuff (it was like 2 hours). I didn't do enough kino, I didn't move, I didn't isolate....ect. Although I sense a flake, I will call her anyway. I think she was attracted at first, but I didn't escalate so I might have lost it.

Also, I don't remember qualifying her. I need to do that. For such a simple structure A1, A2, A3, C1....it sure is easy to mess it up. I have no idea what phase I'm in now, so if she does agree to meet me again I guess I'm just going to have to be myself and see what happens.

Deft9

02-20-2008, 10:57 PM

Tonight kind of sucked. I did sit down at a table with 3 girls, but I didn't get any phone numbers. I opened one of the girls when she came up to the bar and then when she went to rejoin her friends, I basically invited myself and my drunk wing to go sit with them.

I still have no idea how to open a table of 3 girls. The girl I opened was giving me IOIs, but then later she was making out heavily with some guy who just came in (it was definitely her BF).

Also my "wing" was really drunk. He started rubbing my head and grabbing me by the neck. I hate that shit. He was trying to explain the world to me, but nothing he said made any sense. He bought a shot of yagermeister for this one girl and then sat down next to her. 5 minutes later she gave him her number. He could barely talk. He was really getting on my nerves so I told him I had to leave. I saw another one of my targets giving her number to a guy she only talked to for a couple minutes (although maybe he met her earlier in the night). I'm doing something wrong I guess.

Deft9

02-22-2008, 09:59 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRavXdEHI0c&feature=related

A good youtube video by PUA adamlondon on conversation flow. This gist is that it isn't ask a question/get an answer. That's too much like an interogation. The key is to make a statement, THEN ask a question/get an answer. I've read about this before, but I forgot.

Example:
Instead of saying "How was your day?"
Say: "I had the worst day today. How was your day?"

Deft9

02-23-2008, 11:51 PM

Tonight I had a problem with FINDING. There weren't many girls at the bar we were at. I walked all around, and all the HBs were in mid-convo with guys. If it's 2m1f, I might talk to one of the guys to try to find out the relationship, but I wouldn't open a 1m1f set. 1m2f is fair game.

There was ONE approachable 2set of HBblackgirls, but I'm white and I don't normally hit on black girls. Now I'm curious how they would have responded to my attempt at friendliness.

I don't know how other people game, but right now I'm pretty much going immediately into comfort with women. I chat about normal shit, taking what bits they give me to keep the conversation moving. I slip in tease negs when I can. I don't have any "super-cool" DHV stories. My friend's g/f kissed me on the lips for finding a ring that she dropped on the floor. It was a below-average night overall.

EDIT: You know, I was just thinking, in The Game, Mystery goes into a 2m2f set and gets the girls #, so I guess it's possible.

Deft9

03-01-2008, 11:23 PM

Wed. night I was out with one of my weaker wings. He doesn't talk very much until he gets drunk and obnoxious. Anyway, I opened a couple of sets, but none of them really hooked.

Tonight I was at the target-poor bar, which was target-poor as always. There were a few girls in there, but they were all in groups with guys. I know that shouldn't matter, but I let it stop me.

I still think having regular sex with my g/f is hurting my game. I just don't feel the DRIVE that I need to have. I stopped doing the stylelife challenge after ONE day. I haven't spent time developing any good routines...etc. Another one of my friends wants to go out Sun. and Mon., so maybe I'll do better these next couple days.

I read a cool rule from Style: "You are not allowed to hit on a girl unless she is first attracted to you." Although his second rule is that none of the rules are set in stone, so no dance floor, no buying drinks, those are guidelines more than rules.

I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe I'll go back to opening at least 12 sets.

Deft9

03-02-2008, 08:01 PM

Recently I watched some of Mehow's stuff on youtube. One point that caught my interest was that he talks about "giving value" to a group. Giving value is different from displaying higher value, because giving value is bringing energy, laughter, entertainment, etc. to a group of people. I am still being WAY too serious in-field, so maybe this is something to look into. I'm also interested in David D's cocky comedy, but I'm not sure I want to spend $150 on his DVDs.

I've got vh1's "the pickup artist" recorded. Lately I've been feeling a lack of confidence about my game, but it's nice to go back and be reminded that it's hard for other guys too.

Deft9

03-08-2008, 01:52 AM

Tonight I went to see my friend's band play. It was really loud in the venue so I wasn't able to do much sarging.

One of my friends went to the bathroom and told me to watch his seat. An HB8 tried to sit down, and I was like "I'm saving that!" and put my hand down, but she didn't really hear me and she sat on my hand. Then she's like "Oh you just grabbed my ass!" And I go, playfully, "Did you not see the BEER sitting here?? My friend is sitting there. Anyway my palm was DOWN."

I should have said to her friend: "Sheese, is she always like this?," but I didn't. They were both giggling, but then my friend came back and I talked to him for a moment (he was going to let them have the seat after all I went though), but they left while I was talking to him.

The other thing that happened is this girl that my friend is dating really likes me. I didn't have to wait for IOIs, because she TOLD me she likes me. I have never had a girl be so forward. Anyway, I'm kind of torn because she is attractive, but I wouldn't want to do that to my friend. There are plenty of other girls out there.

Oh and I pussed out on opening a bunch of sets.

PS: I made my g/f squirt today at lunch time. She STILL didn't have an orgasm (due to the medications I suppose), but she DEFINITELY ejaculated all over my bed. Highly recommend Axel Braun's Squirting 101 DVD. Best $20 you'll ever spend.

Sai

03-08-2008, 08:45 AM

Just letting you know I enjoy reading your stuff! What was your reaction to the squirt? And hers?

Deft9

03-08-2008, 03:09 PM

Cool man. Posting helps me reflect on the nights afterwards. I feel like as I read and write about PU, it is slowing getting ingrained in my head.

Our reaction was excitement! She was screaming her head off beforehand. I was really surprised when I looked down and saw what looked like a little geyer shooting out in front of my palm, but even though I was surprised, I kept doing it hard. It was DEFINITELY different from her normal lubrication. Drops of her lube started to fly when we were getting close. It was really incredible. I've been feeling like THE MAN these past two days.

There was a huge puddle on my bed when she got up. Axel Braun says every woman can squirt, and I believe him. The only thing I did different from his video is I leaned forward towards her head so my palm rubbed hard and fast against her clit first (up and down, not side to side). This sends her WAY up. Then I switched to straight up and down like the video. It was after sex, so she was already really high. My hand was in for approximately 30 seconds and BAM! You can really feel the pressure when you start. The best way I can describe it is the whole area feels bloated.

Deft9

03-08-2008, 10:28 PM

I'm on a mission. I'm tired of relying on AFC friends to go out with me to sarge. I'm never going to get good if I need that safety blanket. From now on I'm going to start going alone A LOT.

I'm home kind of early. I couldn't get any of my friends to go out tonight, so I man'd up and went out alone. I'm sure some guys have no problem with this, but for me it's pretty tough. You have to BUILD social proof from scratch, which isn't easy if you have serious AA.

I walked in, walked through to the back bar, and ordered a coke. No openers. THEN, I went and stood next to some people watching this 2-man band play, still no openers. Eventually I sat down and watched a couple of songs. There's a 2f1m 3-set at a table in the front with 2 HBs. 1 is a HB9, but I don't see any way to open them.

I go back to the upper bar area and sit down, drinking my coke and watching TV. This is what usually happens when I try to solo-sarge.

I open this UG getting a drink from the bar. She decides to befriend/hit on me, and starts asking me lots of questions about where I live and what I do. We chat for a while and I am very friendly. I had chosen to sit right next to an HB9 and her entourage BTW. The UG had a bunch of friends there, including one HB6 who didn't really appeal to me, but who kept hugging me.

Eventually the UG left so I was sitting there alone. The HB9 next to me was looking past me down the bar with these beautiful bangs that fell in her face. I go "Can you even see with those bangs?" She lights up. Starts telling me about the haircut she just got and how they cut the bangs too short to go back, but long enough to fall in her eyes. She brushes them back approximately 55 times in the minute we chat. I'm thinking "stack forward, stack forward" Awkward pause, aaand she's back to her friends...FUCK!

One of the HB's from the table walks up. I open her by asking if they know the band, since they are sitting so close. She has a gummy smile. I don't like gummy smiles. [Now, as I think about it, I should have tried to game her to get in with the table with the HB9. Shit, it was there] Later HB9table walks to the bar to get a drink. I can't open, I'm paralyzed by her beauty. I leave the bar kind of frustrated, but determined to keep trying.

It's the number of sets man, I KNOW it. 12 a night with 4 warmups gets you in a talkative, gaming state. Those last 8 are ALL FUN! I NEED to start opening MORE SETS.

Sai

03-09-2008, 08:36 AM

That squirting sounds crazy!

Haha, gummy smiles.

The thing with sarging with your friends is that if the night goes bad, at least you would've shared it with each other and have had something to laugh about. Sarging alone, I feel can make you feel tremendously guilty when you don't achieve this and you don't achieve that. I think others who sarge alone effectively don't have this guilt at all. Still, doing it alone may give you the push you need to make the most of a night.

Deft9

03-10-2008, 10:13 PM

Hehe she wants me to do it every time now.

I went out tonight from 10 to 1. My friend was already at the bar with a bunch of his friends. They were already pretty drunk when I got there.

I opened this older woman and chatted with her for about 10 minutes. The guys were ribbing me about her being a cougar later. I was just being friendly and keeping the conversation going. I opened a 2set when I went outside with my friends who smoke. I opened the set by asking one of the girls if her necklace was a ninja turtle (it wasn't). Then I asked them if they could name all the ninja turtles (they couldn't). I negged by rolling off and pulling my friend saying "c'mon man we can't even talk to these girls, they don't know all the ninja turtles." After a little bit more chatting I ejected. I wasn't interested in either of them, but I still should have kept practicing.

I said "Hi!" with a big smile to a HB9, but didn't stack forward. As my friends were leaving at the end of the night I opened UG200lbs. She hooked and sat down to chat with me for a bit. I know my friends think I was trying to pick her up, but I was actually going to try to get her to introduce me to her HB friends. Unfortunately, we were both seated and I didn't go for it. I ejected with "nice talking to you," instead of PMY (doh!). She kept touching me during the chat, punched my arm, hand on my leg, etc. If only I could get an HB doing that.

I opened a couple of other times, so I probably did about 6 sets total. A couple months ago I had this thought that PU is 90% inner-game. I think I need to read some more to try to get mine back.

Deft9

03-15-2008, 02:13 AM

Another night at the dirt-cheap, target-poor bar. It is a good atmosphere for chatting though. I talked to 2 girls for over 10 minutes each. One thing I have been doing lately is just getting into natural, mundane chat. It's not really "game," although I do mix in kino, negs, good BL and EC. One interesting thing happened:

I waved at this girl I met there about 2 months ago. She was about 8 ft down the bar and I yelled down "Julie right?" Eventually I find out it's actually Jamie. I'm like "Oh well, at least I got the J right? Do you remember my name?" She has no clue. One of the 2 guys with her whispers in her ear and she goes "Is it Richard, cause you look like a Dick!" hehe, AMOG'd! She yells just kidding and I laugh it off, but I don't have a good response ready and I turn back to my friends. Next time maybe I could retort with "Aww, you're sweet..." Or "Aww you're cool.... (if it's a guy)." Something generic like that that could work for a bunch of different shit tests. I might read a little of that re-frame thread. The key is to be unaffected, and I almost was, but I didn't know what to say.

Other stuff happened throughout the night, but nothing really PU related.

Deft9

03-16-2008, 09:57 PM

I went out Saturday also, but I was with my g/f so no sarging.

Tonight I wore a green t-shirt that said "get lucky" with a black blazer and jeans. I opened this cute little HB7 who LOVED television. We played the "I like" game. Carnivale was her all-time favorite show and I loved it too, so we had that in common. She grabbed both my hands and squealed when I mentioned it. I IOI'd her and then said "omg I can't even talk to you now." to release.

There were a couple of uncomfortable silences. You really DO need to be ready with some material for those. I showed her the rings and started the cube, but she wasn't digging it. So I played this word game with her instead.

I think I should have gone for some sort of close MUCH earlier. Eventually I told her I had to leave and I number-closed.

I think I saw an older PUA there. Actually I think it was an AMOG, not a PUA. He was wearing a white shirt with the top buttons undone. He looked like an alpha-asshole to me. I overhead him talking very sexually to the girl he was gaming. He went for the k-close and grabbed the back of her head while he made out with her. She looked young...ugh.

Deft9

03-17-2008, 08:44 PM

I couldn't get any wings for St. Patricks Day because it's a work night so I went out alone. This was one of my worst nights in awhile. The Irish bar I went to was PACKED. I just could not get into it. I opened one 2set of UGs while I was getting my first drink. I couldn't think of anything to say so I ejected and walked around a couple of times. I ended up sitting down and watching the musician play. I left after an hour and a half. There were a TON of HBs there. I just feel tired and mad at myself for tonight's failure. Where were the 4 warmup sets and the 8 practice sets? What about the 3 second rule? I couldn't say one random thing to 4 people? It's frustrating man. Oh and there was an HB9 standing next to me with her friends for like 20 minutes. Damn she was hot!

Bramus

03-18-2008, 09:52 AM

Hey dude ur fieldreports are really inspiring! Don't beat urself up after a bad night!
But what I wanted to ask, where do you sarge? In a small town area or what? How many clubs do you go to, don't you start to know everybody in the clubs you go?
I live in an average town (300 000 ppl, real college town), large for Dutch perception, but I already start to recognize certain people at certain clubs at certain days. How do you deal with this Deft9?

Deft9

03-18-2008, 03:35 PM

I live near a large town with a BIG university near-by. There approximately 20 bars within 8 minutes of my house. I usually recognize a few people when I go out, but not always. You WANT to be recognized when you go out. Soon you're saying "what's up!" to tons of people and it seems like you know everyone. This is a GOOD thing (social proof).

I try to stick to the same 6 bars to minimize the fear of foreign territories. I prefer bars with multiple areas, so if I get blown out, I can just go to another area of the bar. Also I know all the isolation areas of each bar that I can pull a girl to for comfort. I know which nights each bar is crowded during the weeknights (they're all crowded on the weekends). There are also 2 24-hour diners that I can use for C2 locations. Many of the college girls are freakin HOT! If my game was better I'd be living a CRAZY lifestyle. That's my goal.

Bramus

03-18-2008, 04:02 PM

I understand it's good for your social proof, but my game is not flawless, and guys will notice that you talk to ladies and that this won't always work out to well. Plus there are the times I'm struck by AA, as you are when I read ur FR's, people will pick up on that. I'm afraid my value will decrease because of that, but you think these failed pick ups won't work in ur disadvantage.

Ow and yeah I live near a Uni with 25+ thousand students, and another college approx the same size, so I guess our sarging areas look like, we might only have a couple more bars and clubs though, but basically the same.

Deft9

03-22-2008, 01:51 AM

Back to the target-poor bar, but I was with my friends. I noticed that I immediately identified a couple guys who were there along. Standing around without social proof, you look kinda creepy.

I opened maybe 5 sets, but never STACKED. I don't really open that many times during a night, so I need to be better prepared to hold my audience when I do. My wing handed me his bracelet at one point and I was going to ask this HB what she thought of it, but then she got a crazy looking drink and I asked about that instead. She was friendly, but it turned out she was there with her b/f.

I opened a 3set of girls who were all under 5 ft and didn't stack.
I opened a girl who was there with her co-workers (including one of the only 2 HBs in the bar), but didn't stack.

Basically a lot of my openers are on girls who come up to the bar to order drinks. They are alone and standing right next to me. It's easy to over-the-shoulder open. I know this isn't the BEST approach, but it's a hell of a lot easier to do than walking up to a table of people sitting down. It also helps with AA because they are walking up to ME. You have a limited amount of time to work because they get their drinks and then go back to their friends, but it's better than nothing.

One of my friends asked this short dude if he was there alone. When he said "yeah," my other friend was like, "Oh uh, that's kinda creepy." From this I learned not to tell people you're there alone. The guy WAS kinda creepy though. I think smiling, laughing, and having a good time helps.

Deft9

03-27-2008, 07:35 PM

Another night of wussing out, BUT I got a good idea.

Ok, I wanted to go out to the bar with my friend early to watch the basketball games and sarge, but he wanted to go over my other friends house instead to avoid spending money. So...I went alone again, this time from 7 to 10.

I gotta say, it was kinda cool. I didn't look as weird being alone since I got food and sat there watching the game. I know I'm supposed to be opening sets, but FUCK its hard. I did chat with everyone around me though. An HB8.5 (hired gun too, used to be a beer girl) came and sat down next to me. She said she had a BF right away, but she was a HUGE sports fan. It was fun talking to her. There was a good 3set at a table behind me, and this HBblond kept making eye-contact with me, but I didn't open...doh!

So here's my idea:
The thing is I work in an office during the day and I just can't sarge from 10-2 on weeknights. So I think I might start eating my dinners at the bar. This will at least get me out of the house and in a public place for a few hours each day. There were PLENTY of girls there. It's lower-energy, which suits my style. Happy hour sarging on weeknights is going to become part of my routine. Maybe next time I'll open some more sets!

ahopeseed

03-27-2008, 10:42 PM

im only on page 4

Deft9

03-28-2008, 09:22 AM

Cool I'm glad you're enjoying it!

I've made slow progress, but I'm definitely a lot different than I was 7 months ago. It used to be an event if a girl said like "one thing" to me in a bar. Now I find myself making small talk with cashiers, waitresses, on elevators, in the copy room at work, with people in the bar, everywhere. I NEVER used to be like that.

I know I still do A LOT wrong, but I'm plugging away the best I can on my own.

Deft9

04-01-2008, 09:35 PM

Ok, I got home from work at around 6. The weather was really nice so I went for a run, planning to head to the bar for dinner and HAPPY HOUR SARGING.

The place was pretty dead, but there was ONE GIRL by herself at the bar. I chose to sit one seat away from her. They had trivia going, and I opened her by asking something about it. She was pretty friendly. I went and started my own trivia team and started getting her to help me with the questions. Her friend showed up after about 15 minutes (an interupt, but I had assumed she wasn't alone.) The trivia helped keep conversation going definitely. In between I talked about myself, asked the girls about themselves, and mixed in some game. I teased a bit, negging them on their trivia skills.

Eventually I shifted over a seat to sit next to her. I was careful to keep the friend involved in the conversation. I started getting IOIs. She kept touching my arm and shoulder for one thing. I dunno the conversation just FLOWED pretty smoothly for a couple hours. Some whispering between her and her friend and her friend "had to go" leaving her with me.

She talked about Astrology, which I tried to learn about for gaming, but it didn't hold my interest. I lead that into a palm reading, although I only know the lines, so it wasn't much of an actual reading, but kino nonetheless. There were a couple windows to kiss close, but I couldn't PULL THE TRIGGER.

Finally I just asked her "Would you like to kiss me?" Her: "What? No! We're in a bar." Me: "I understand. (stares at TV a moment)" Her: "Oh are you upset now?" Me: "Oh no, not at all. We're in a bar, I understand completely." Resume prior conversation. More talking. It's now midnight, and has been 4 hours total (God I'm SLOW). We get our tabs (I don't offer to pay for her drinks) and walk out together. At her car, it's breezy, kinda chilly. I get her number since she's been drinking and "might need help." Although now, as I think about it, she would need MY number to call me for help, minor technicality.

I ask for the kiss again. Her: "I dunno, maybe." Me: Leans in and kisses. Her lips were really soft. I pulled her into me. There was a little tongue, but I kept it to a minimum. She seemed to really enjoyed it, and we kissed multiple times.

Personal critique: I didn't set up a time bridge, so I have that awkwardness to go through. She was also bothered by the fact that "she was drunk" and I was dead sober (I drank about 6 cups of water the whole time). I did play like it was "no big deal," but I was defending myself a little bit (qualifying), but live and learn. Also I still take FOREVER. With no wing, I couldn't close with her friend there though. I might have been able to isolate and close earlier if I had a wing. One other thing...I think it should go kiss THEN number. This increases the odds that it will be a solid #.

FUCK YEAH! Gotta enjoy those successes man cause I sure post a lot of shit on this board.

nobbyknuckles

04-01-2008, 10:37 PM

How's the orgasm situation? Do you go down on your girl?

Deft9

04-02-2008, 12:14 AM

Let me just see if anybody has any comments on my FR and then I'll write a long update about the orgasm situation.

Deft9

04-03-2008, 07:42 PM

I texted her the night I met her "Did you make it home safe?" She didn't respond until the morning. We've texted back and forth since then, but I'm still trying to set up the day 2. Not setting up that time bridge is really making this difficult. It DOES sound like she's willing to meet up again though.

wilynwild

04-03-2008, 08:18 PM

TMM book says to tell her she can tag along with you for something you were going to do anyway, the more mundane the better. I loved hearing that, takes the pressure off of planning a "big" date. Spring is coming, take her with you to buy new running shoes, softball equipment, chain oil for your bike...

wilynwild

04-03-2008, 08:30 PM

but then mix it up and bounce a lot to make her feal that a lot is going on. You need to burn 7 hours of comfort time. It's more important to not do anything too stupid that would turn her off, than to impress her. Be needless.
You already know all this, I've been reading your forum, just do it now. Reread the chapture on comfort to build confidence. We're all behind you!

azazels_wolf

04-03-2008, 11:19 PM

Hey Deft,

I saw the original post you did on the orgasm situation, and I had something in the back of my head I should say:

If she's squirting a river and says it feels incredible, I'm pretty sure she DID orgasm, especially if she feels relieved and relaxed afterwards. If she's never experienced orgasm before, then maybe she's not quite sure what to expect.... but it sounds like she IS experiencing it and just doesn't acknowledge or recognize it for what it is.

Deft9

04-05-2008, 12:12 AM

Wily: I DO know all that, but it was still a great post! It's been a long time since I've managed to get a Day 2, so it's definitely good to get a reminder. I like the "be needless" idea.

Azazel: I used to use that name sometimes back in my online gaming days heh. Yes, I believe she IS having physical orgasms. Her mind just isn't making the connection. Axel Braun's technique is VERY good.

Ok tonight's FR.

I chickened out a lot. I'm so sick of that shit. At the beginning of the night, I was sitting alone at the bar, waiting for my wing to come in, instead of opening a set in the first minute, which is my new rule. This cute redhead (HBredhead) comes up and orders a drink next to me. She OPENS me, and even goes so far as to ask if she can sit next to me. WOW! I take this as a major IOI and start thinking of ways to qualify. I get her telling me about her passions in life and stuff. She's way into astrology. I do another half-assed palm reading (note to self: read the guide on fastseduction.com). I checked out her nails, basically everything I can think of to go kino.

A song she loves comes on and she gets up to go dance. She says she'll be back, and actually does come back 15 minutes later. I talked to another girl during that time, but it didn't go anywhere. HBredhead comes back and is STROKING her hair while she's talking to me. She's touching my chest, I want to go for the kiss. Here's where it started to go bad.

We talk for about 10 more minutes and I say "you have really pretty lips." planning to follow with, "do you want to kiss me?" NEVER COMPLIMENT THE ANATOMY OF A WOMAN WORTHY OF A COMPLIMENT. SHIT! Anyway, turns out she had cologine injections. As she's telling me this, her girlfriend comes up behind us, briefly introduces herself, and drags HBredhead away to go smoke. Again she says she'll be back. Wow lame. Later I see her in another area of the bar talking to some other dude. I talk to her once more in the street at the end of the night. I go "hey you never came back. Gay!" Her: "Oh sorry." Me: "Well PMY."

I SHOULD have said "I'm an ares, your a scorpio. It would never work out between us anyway." False disqualifier would have been PERFECT there.

I don't think I tease negged her the whole time. I also probably could have gone for the kiss within the first 5 minutes. I THOUGHT about it, but didn't pull the trigger. I'm still not doing it right. I act very serious in the bar and like I care what other people think. TALKATIVE and PLAYFUL (TP) is the state I want to be in, but I'm not quite getting there.

2 sets is 10 short also. Lame.

There's a great video on YouTube about kino. There's 2 parts, and it's the guy in the dark shirt who gives the good tips.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8d0l05G44o

Deft9

04-05-2008, 01:58 AM

I think I've posted about this before, but I was just reminded again while watching my MM DVDs. Mystery goes: "Too bad you're not my type."

Saying this, or similar disqualifiers like "hands off the merchandise." makes them CHASE you. They are like CATS. They want what they can't have. I think this is the one KEY thing I need to implement into my game. A2 is DHVing while acting DISINTERESTED. It's the same as swingcat's prize theory.

Lately I've been so caught up on just keeping the conversation going, and trying to avoid those awkward pauses, when I should be making HER try to keep it going by making her CHASE me. Lol, can't wait to try it out tomorrow.

Deft9

04-05-2008, 03:50 PM

I just realized something. The friend pulling my target away last night was an interrupt. I needed to immediately disarm her. I only briefly introduced myself. No wonder I lost my target. It sure is a lot to remember damn!

Deft9

04-06-2008, 01:50 AM

Oh God, I can't believe I'm posting this.

We get to the bar late, like 11:30. There are 3 women next to us, obviously a bit older. 2 of them leave and one forgets her keys. I decide to do a warmup set and open the remaining woman by telling her about the keys.

Anyway, we start talking. I'm OOZING non-neediness, because I'm really not attracted to her. I'm just practicing my conversation skills, wanting to open a 5set of HB8s sitting on the other side of her. She's 7 years older than me and pretty fat. She has a nice looking face, pretty bad teeth and a gummy smile (ugh). She was really strong-willed and independent. She told me all kinds of stuff about herself. I tried to steer the conversation away from bad topics, like how her grandparents died, and onto good ones, like how to attract a male. She kept giving me IOIs, but there was no way I was gonna escalate. She was basically hugging me while she was talking to me at one point. We chatted for a pretty long time, because it was last call. I told her I could help her get guys (hoping to recruit a pivot for myself). I really DID like her personality.

I walk her out to the parking lot and I get her #, just so I can say I #close. I straight up command her, give me your #. We walk to her car and she's leaning against it as I'm talking to her. She wants me to go home with her. I say "I have a rule: no one-night stands." I really DIDN'T want a ONS, but if you ever want to have a one-night stand you should use this line BTW.

Her face IS kinda pretty. Standing close to her, I do feel some attraction. I wait until my friends pull away and start kissing her. The weather is crappy so I suggest we get in her car. A bit more kissing, and she starts giving me head. It DID feel fucking incredible. I can't come that way though. She was in her mid-30s, and hadn't had sex for over 2 years (according to her). Her B/F wouldn't fuck her anymore and they eventually broke up.

She just kept saying how good it felt to have my cock in her mouth. She kept saying how gorgeous it was (It's actually only 5.5 inches, but it does get really hard and decent girth). I did welcomed method on her clit for a couple minutes, but she really just wanted to touch and suck my dick. While she was giving me head (for like 2 hours total), I tried a David Shade sex narration (from Give Women Hot Phone Sex) with her. She KINDA got into it, but I'm still a novice at it. A woman that age is at her sexual peak she was feeling VERY deprived. She just seemed to like having my dick in her mouth, and I was perfectly happy to let her.

Ugh and her breath was kinda bad too. Good breath is a MAJOR thing. She wanted to get a hotel. I kept saying this would never be more than a 1 night stand, but she was down for it. Eventually she had to go to the bathroom. We drove to a 24-hour supermarket, went in together, used the restroom, and then drove back to the bar parking lot. She STILL wanted to go to a hotel, but I wasn't feeling it. I'd say the two biggest turnoffs for me were the smell of her breath and her fat. Otherwise I might have done it.

I think I said some dumb things in the car too, but I've never been in that situation before. So in summary I opened one woman (an UG granted) and got head in the parking lot. I feel satisfied and disgusted in equal measure.

nobsmemorex

04-06-2008, 04:29 AM

hahaha! that was great! especially the equal parts disgusted and satisfied.
i also like the part where u "waited for my friends to leave". "then started kissing"

entertaining and a job well done!

-Renaissance

Deft9

04-07-2008, 07:57 PM

Here is the orgasm update I promised.

The short answer is, no she still has not had an orgasm. She takes several medications which all have the side effect of "difficulty in achieving orgasm" so they are probably contributing to our problem. The silver lining is that the struggle has forced me to learn a great deal about stimulating women.

I forget if I mention it in this thread, but she finally started squirting. I use Axel Braun's "spiderman" technique from Squirting 101 DVD ($20), except that I warm her up by rubbing my palm against her clit (with the two fingers in) before getting to the finisher. She has told me that clit stimulation makes the response much more powerful. I tried it for about 2 months before she learned how to release.

It's a CRAZY thing to witness because she starts screaming and going crazy and her cum gets all over the place (even up to my face and hers). We put 3 towels down to protect the sheets now. Now that she has learned to release, sometimes it only takes 10-20 seconds using the technique to make her squirt.

It definitely SEEMS like pee. It smells bad has a yellowish tint. But I really believe it's cum. After she squirts, I can make her fill back up and squirt again immediately. She says sex "fills her up." Her vagina feels very bloated when I put my fingers in, and this means she is close. She makes me make her squirt every time we have sex. She says it really relieves the pressure and feels incredible.

I bought David Shade's "Give Women Hot Phone Sex," which is a FABULOUS product. Totally worth the money. The techniques for stimulating a woman's mind can be used in the bedroom as well as on the phone. I have really struggled with dirty talk, but these CDs have finally shown me how it's supposed to be done. Arousing a woman and getting her off with your voice is actually a form of hypnosis. I've only tried once, so I need more practice. I got her pretty high over the phone though...

I bought the Hitachi Magic Wand last week ($46) following HBPornstar's recommendation on here. She LOVES the magic wand. She says it is much better than any other vibrator we have tried. It has a big soft head that covers the whole area. She screams "Oh God I need to come!! How do I come??" We already use plenty of vibrating toys. Sometimes I wear a vibrating cock ring during sex, which she likes.

I DO go down on her, but not as often as I probably should. I finally got her shaving her pussy, and it's actually kind of pleasant down there. She says she doesn't enjoy it THAT much when I do it. It just doesn't seemed to stimulate her as much as some of the other things I do.

I have not been able to find her deep spot. I think I almost found the back of the deep spot one time, but she said it was uncomfortable so I stopped prying.

I BELIEVE there is like an "inactive or blocked circuit" in her head, preventing her brain from having that orgasmic response. She never even masturbated before. I think once I make that connection happen once, she will start having orgasms with ease.

Hopefully all of this helps some other guys with the same problem. It's a very FRUSTRATING problem. I'm open to suggestions.

azazels_wolf

04-07-2008, 10:12 PM

It's a CRAZY thing to witness because she starts screaming and going crazy and her cum gets all over the place (even up to my face and hers). We put 3 towels down to protect the sheets now. Now that she has learned to release, sometimes it only takes 10-20 seconds using the technique to make her squirt.
...........
She makes me make her squirt every time we have sex. She says it really relieves the pressure and feels incredible.

Like we were talking about, this is indicative that she really IS orgasming and she's just not recognizing it for what it is.

I suspect that the medications are changing her electro-chemical responses to the experience. So she's going through the physical motions, feeling the release, says it DOES feel incredible, but something just isn't right, apparently. Do the meds have a direct influence on neurotransmitters? If she weren't under the influence of these medications, that problem would likely be resolved. Perhaps it would be a good time for her to get a second or third medical opinion on those meds and any possible alternatives.

Deft9

04-09-2008, 09:39 PM

^I mean Wednesday

Ick. Crap night for me.

My Wed. night bar was EXTREMELY target-rich. My energy level just wasn't there. I DID open a set within a minute of walking in. It lasted like 2-3 minutes and then I felt like I couldn't think of anything else to say so I pre-maturely ejected like a jackass. I opened one girl who's friend was talking to some dude. That lasted 2-3 minutes. Again, couldn't think of anything to say. The rest of the time was me sitting at a table with 2 dudes and standing around AFC-style with them for a couple hours looking at girls. I opened a couple more sets with bad openers that didn't go anywhere.

There was a 9.5 standing right in front of me at one point. She was the hottest girl I've seen in MONTHS. I didn't open. Then later I walked right by her and her hot friends on my way out. I mean WTF TRY! Who gives a shit, just TRY! I'm supposed to be talkative and playful. My state tonight was tired and uncomfortable.

Damn!

Deft9

04-09-2008, 09:50 PM

"Rejection is better than Regret."
I read that in the book of pook. I am feeling a lot of regret right now. I WISH I'd just gotten blown out.

wilynwild

04-10-2008, 06:12 PM

Ancient proverb:

Ugs are like mopeds, fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one...

Deft9

04-20-2008, 12:38 AM

It's been a week and a half since I sarged.

Tonight I tried to be talkative and playful. I had some trouble opening, but I did talk to about 10 women (most for a really short time). I also thought about the importance of developing a 10 minute routine, because I kept running out of things to say very quickly under pressure.

I had one set that was going OK until this 6'7"" black dude walked up and started whispering to my target. He didn't know her, he just walked right into my set. She and I make EC and she rolls her eyes. For some reason, like a jackass, I am friendly and receptive towards him even though she was ready to blow him out. I make some small talk about him playing basketball and then roll away leaving them together. Basically I brought him into my set and then ejected.

I say to my wing, "Shit I can't believe I just did that. I'm going to try to blow him out just for practice." I re-enter the set and start asking him lots of questions and taking his attention off her. I guess she feels ignored, because at this point she starts trying to play with my necklace. He goes back to his friends. YES!

This is the first time I blew another guy out. I don't know much about AMOGing, beyond that it's normally compliance tests, like getting somebody to hold your drink or making them look creepy, gay or stupid in front of a girl. I didn't do anything that aggressive to this guy, I just prevented him from gaming my target by engaging him non-stop. I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt REALLY good. She was one of the hottest girls I've gamed so far, so maybe that's why my set was invaded. I still didn't get the close though.

Deft9

04-20-2008, 12:48 AM

One more quick thoughts on AMOGs. I think you can make something I'll call an "AMOG trap." For example you say, "Tell her she looks pretty tonight." If he complies, he's jumped through your hoop. If he doesn't, you can say something like "Man what a jerk!" or to be really nasty "Dude are you sure you're not gay?"

See? He can't win. It's a trap. :D

wilynwild

04-20-2008, 02:06 AM

I just copied your trap idea into my notes.

Not that they do me much good. I need to practice talking to hot girls more, cause the hotter they are, the more of this stuff I forget. I remember everything with UGs - I invent great stuff on the spot with UGs. I'm the pide-piper of UGville...

Deft9

04-27-2008, 07:50 AM

I'll be brief.

Friday night I went to a big house party to help my wing hook up with this girl his sister set him up with. It was their first meeting. He has pretty solid game and ended up kissing her for most of the night. I didn't really do much except try to meet other people there and leave him alone to get some 1 on 1 time. There were a lot of HBs there, but most were engaged or married. There are fewer singles when you're not in a bar. There was one HB9 who I liked, but I couldn't get anything going.

Saturday night my wing and I went to one of my regular bars. An older woman walked up next to us. I tried to break the ice since I was impressed by her boldness. She responded by telling us her favorite thing to do for fun was "suck dick." She then moved in front of him and started grabbing his crotch. He told her he was "in love" with his g/f and she left. I talked to an HB8 for about 10 minutes, but I was being too interrogating I think. I kept asking her questions about herself and not offering anything about myself. She was really sexy. I'm mad at myself for forgetting her name.

Deft9

05-05-2008, 08:21 PM

I haven't been sarging much lately. I've been spending a lot of time with my g/f. When I do go out, I'm not opening enough sets to get into a good groove.

Tonight I met an HB8.5. She was REALLY hot. I didn't have much time with her, because she had to leave early, but she laughed really hard at several of my jokes that were not funny at all. I had an opportunity to try to #close in the parking lot, but I didn't seize the moment. She was walking to her car alone in front of my wing and me. Next time I think I might man up and go direct. Who gives a shit ya know?

Deft9

05-08-2008, 10:31 PM

Hmm lets see. I jerked off last night, so my sex drive was low. That was a mistake. I found my new Thurs. night bar. They have ladies night and it gets packed with HBs. The high point of the night was me with my back to the bar surrounded by 7 HBs, but I wasn't able to keep this going for very long. A funny DHV story would have been perfect.

I find it easier to open UGs and often do this to be friendly and get into a talkative state. It's pretty lame actually. I should be focusing on girls I am attracted to. Anyway, I opened these two UGs and they latched on to my wing and me for the rest of the night. They bounced US to another bar and one of them took him home to go "smoke some weed." I left saying I had to get up early.

If he doesn't say anything too stupid, he should at least get head tonight. I'm glad I was able to help make that happen.

Deft9

07-03-2008, 11:33 PM

I haven't posted a FR in 2 months. I'm still in my open LTR (which has been 8 fantastic months thanks to MM), and gaming has been less of a priority for me. Lately I've been more into financial planning, but I still think PU will always be a part of my life.

Really almost no targets at the bar tonight. 2 HB8s walk in with maybe 2 hours left. I broke the 3 second rule, but luckily they sat down next to my group. I walked over near them and eventually took my friend's seat next to them so I could open over-the-shoulder. I opened with some innocuous little comment or question, I wish I could remember what it was. The two were actually their meeting their older sister, so it was a 3set.

The HB next to me hooked, but I never engaged the group. She was REALLY cute though. We chatted for about 20 minutes, and she laughed and seemed to enjoy my company. Her two sisters went outside, so I had a perfect opportunity to close, but didn't press for it. The convo hit a dead spot and I waited for her to re-initiate, which would have been the major IOI I was looking for, but she never did.

I think enough IOIs were there, I should have gone into some qualifying, done some kino, palm reading, something. It's been a long time since I've done any gaming, but it's coming back to me. I think I need to re-read MM.

Deft9

08-08-2008, 10:22 PM

It's been awhile again. Tonight I wussed out on opening this nice 3-set so I had my wing do it for me. My target was giving him the bitch shield, but after a minute or so I entered the set. One of the girls was very friendly. My target when and sat away from me and became absorbed by her phone. I talked with the friendly girl while negging my target. It was pretty much a perfect setup for it.

After a bit I ran out of stuff to talk about. Some awkward silence and they left. It would really help if I had an outline of stuff to get me through the first 10 minutes. I really don't like the lines and the scripts, but sometimes in a little game plan goes a long way.

Deft9

10-23-2008, 07:57 PM

I'm still dating the girl I picked up a year ago. We've been having sex at least 3-4 times a week since then. I was thinking about something in the car today and felt like posting it.

I always see women on TV or jokes about wives "not being in the mood" for sex, like on Everybody Loves Raymond. I would say my G/F is almost never in the mood for sex initially. I never ask her for sex, or say "let's have sex," because then she might say no. Just like our first time, I always start with slow escalation.

I usually hold her hand or put my arm around her. Sometimes I'll carress her hand with my thumb. This leads to me kissing her neck, lips, and ears (ears are key). Then I might start feeling her up or lay on top of her. This process PUTS her in the mood. No discussion is really necessary.

Deft9

11-11-2009, 12:08 AM

After a looong break I'm getting back into pickup. I went out sarging with my roomate tonight. I have a couple thoughts I want to post.

1. I have a good understanding of theory, but I mis-calibrate in practice. AA is still my biggest roadblock. I need more field time.
2. I need to work on my confidence, inner-game, and practice some routines on my own.
3. My roomate is a downer. He says: "I hate that shit you read. It's all total bullshit." I want to meet some guys who are actually into pickup cause I think he's an idiot. He got drunk and talked to dudes all night and then criticized my game. Anyway I use him as a safety blanket, hanging around him when I'm too scared to open a set. If I'm gonna do this, I need to be able to do it alone.

If there are any PUAs in Towson/Baltimore hit me up. I love pickup and I want to get better.