Sovereign
02-07-2007, 05:59 PM
**Disclaimer- this DOES NOT apply to someone who has mastered their life!
Ok, since my last post was such a hit, here is the follow up. One reasonable objection to that post was, "Great, but how does one do that?"
If you didn't get my last post, and you feel that going out into the field without concentrating on mastering your life is a good thing to do, and that confidence will come with success in field. I suspect part of this post is towards you as well.
So without further adieu or anymore obnoxious disclaimers from me, here is the argument I am putting forward:
Most people have 'surface confidence', it is a confidence based solely on the approval of others. When you have affirmation from others, or a history of affirmation from others, you are more confident. When you are lacking that approval, your confidence goes down. (Hence, why so many here claim that if you go out in the field, and have success, than your confidence will increase).
This confidence is very transient and subject to having the proverbial rug pulled out from underneath you at the first sign of a bad day.
However, if your confidence is based on what you truly feel you are capable of, than it is very difficult to have it taken away. I've seen so many PUA's have a bad streak (just like a poker player would for example) and lose ALL their mojo. Taking a lot of time to recover from it. Or let's say you are simply brought down because of a bad day, you get yelled by your boss, your friend just bitched you out about something, your bills are backed up. Do you think PU knowledge as it stands right now will help you deal with that? Or the fact you had an HB9 last week will help you recover from almost being fired?? ( I can imagine the 2 or 3 responses of guys saying, "Yeah, knowing Juggler helped me deal with being thrown out of my apartment!!"...funny)
Now all these events, which can happen to anyone at anytime, will shake your confidence, impact your ability to game women, and because that confidence is surface level, the moment you hit a dry spell in the field, a great amount of damage to your ego can occur. Hence, it is a simple equation:
Surface Confidence collaspes as events in your life turn away from the validation that keeps that confidence strong, this hit to your confidence level negatively impacts your ability to game in the field, you have a string of bad sarging outings, and your confidence in that area begins to drop as well.
Mastering life is how one can combat that.
How does one do that? Well there are hundreds if not thousands of self-help books out there, or you can pop in a Tony Robbins DVD and watch it, you can listen to Demonic Confidence perhaps or simply repeat, "I am good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it people like me!" over and over. Nothing has really been shown to work long term.
The key here is two very simple points:
1) Love yourself as you would want someone else to love you.
2) Know what you are capable of based on your own internal assessment, and not on what others have told you.
The first point is quite clear, we want others to love us, take care of us, care about us, but yet look at what we do to ourselves? We don't spend our spare time improving our lives, we spend it most likely wasting away in front of a tv or computer. We eat shitty food, get our haircut once every two months, wear worn out clothes and unless we are going somewhere, generally look like crap and couldn't hold a decent conversation on any topic other than the few we happen to know.
Thing about everything you would do for someone you really really love? Do you do even half that for yourself? Think about how you would want someone who loves you to treat you? Do you treat yourself even half that good??
So other than those two points, what should one do practically? (Note, if you don't love yourself and have true inner confidence, you won't succeed or bother doing any of these things):
One of the things I realized is that in order to succeed you need to excel in anything you do. This means, if you are stuck in a job, rather than just drag yourself to work everyday, master it instead, do it to the absolute best of your ability and excel at it. It is always better to be the best at a shit job than it is to be mediocre at it. Treat everything as a skill to be learned and mastered.
Anytime you find yourself interested or intrigued about something, pick up a fucking book and read about it. Saw a show on Ancient Greece that looked cool. Buy a book (and not one with a lot of pictures) and read the damn thing. Do this often enough and you will be a really well rounded person.
Anytime you think that you want to try something like learning how to dance, cook, etc. Take a class. It is not much money, and usually one night a week, which I am sure you can fit into your busy schedule. Do this all the time and you will find you have quite a bit of talent that you did not know about.
Next time you have some extra money, unless you intend to save it, spend it on your appearance! Get better clothes, a haircut, join a gym. Spending $75 at a bar is not a good use of your money (besides, women should be buying your drinks anyway!)
And finally, pay attention to people who are socially successful!! Watch what they do and how they do it. Their mannerisms, what they talk about, etc. Watch the responses of people around them. Learn from it.
Now some of these seem obvious and this is about as surface level a guide as the confidence I talk about, but again the key here is that if you aren't doing these things, ask yourself how much you really care about improving yourself? Because if you can not do these simple tasks and take them to heart, then you can not begin to master life as something is stopping you. And that thing is self-loathing.
So yeah, you might be able to go out and successfully PU an HB9, you might even get some social proof from this and feel on top of the world. But the moment things turn the wrong way, and they always do, it comes crashing back down.
Find real confidence and love yourself enough to locate it. Unfortunately, if you have to ask how one learns to love themselves, than you need to put down the PU manuals and begin to dial a shrink to find out exactly what is going causing you to be your own worst enemy.
With love,
Ok, since my last post was such a hit, here is the follow up. One reasonable objection to that post was, "Great, but how does one do that?"
If you didn't get my last post, and you feel that going out into the field without concentrating on mastering your life is a good thing to do, and that confidence will come with success in field. I suspect part of this post is towards you as well.
So without further adieu or anymore obnoxious disclaimers from me, here is the argument I am putting forward:
Most people have 'surface confidence', it is a confidence based solely on the approval of others. When you have affirmation from others, or a history of affirmation from others, you are more confident. When you are lacking that approval, your confidence goes down. (Hence, why so many here claim that if you go out in the field, and have success, than your confidence will increase).
This confidence is very transient and subject to having the proverbial rug pulled out from underneath you at the first sign of a bad day.
However, if your confidence is based on what you truly feel you are capable of, than it is very difficult to have it taken away. I've seen so many PUA's have a bad streak (just like a poker player would for example) and lose ALL their mojo. Taking a lot of time to recover from it. Or let's say you are simply brought down because of a bad day, you get yelled by your boss, your friend just bitched you out about something, your bills are backed up. Do you think PU knowledge as it stands right now will help you deal with that? Or the fact you had an HB9 last week will help you recover from almost being fired?? ( I can imagine the 2 or 3 responses of guys saying, "Yeah, knowing Juggler helped me deal with being thrown out of my apartment!!"...funny)
Now all these events, which can happen to anyone at anytime, will shake your confidence, impact your ability to game women, and because that confidence is surface level, the moment you hit a dry spell in the field, a great amount of damage to your ego can occur. Hence, it is a simple equation:
Surface Confidence collaspes as events in your life turn away from the validation that keeps that confidence strong, this hit to your confidence level negatively impacts your ability to game in the field, you have a string of bad sarging outings, and your confidence in that area begins to drop as well.
Mastering life is how one can combat that.
How does one do that? Well there are hundreds if not thousands of self-help books out there, or you can pop in a Tony Robbins DVD and watch it, you can listen to Demonic Confidence perhaps or simply repeat, "I am good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it people like me!" over and over. Nothing has really been shown to work long term.
The key here is two very simple points:
1) Love yourself as you would want someone else to love you.
2) Know what you are capable of based on your own internal assessment, and not on what others have told you.
The first point is quite clear, we want others to love us, take care of us, care about us, but yet look at what we do to ourselves? We don't spend our spare time improving our lives, we spend it most likely wasting away in front of a tv or computer. We eat shitty food, get our haircut once every two months, wear worn out clothes and unless we are going somewhere, generally look like crap and couldn't hold a decent conversation on any topic other than the few we happen to know.
Thing about everything you would do for someone you really really love? Do you do even half that for yourself? Think about how you would want someone who loves you to treat you? Do you treat yourself even half that good??
So other than those two points, what should one do practically? (Note, if you don't love yourself and have true inner confidence, you won't succeed or bother doing any of these things):
One of the things I realized is that in order to succeed you need to excel in anything you do. This means, if you are stuck in a job, rather than just drag yourself to work everyday, master it instead, do it to the absolute best of your ability and excel at it. It is always better to be the best at a shit job than it is to be mediocre at it. Treat everything as a skill to be learned and mastered.
Anytime you find yourself interested or intrigued about something, pick up a fucking book and read about it. Saw a show on Ancient Greece that looked cool. Buy a book (and not one with a lot of pictures) and read the damn thing. Do this often enough and you will be a really well rounded person.
Anytime you think that you want to try something like learning how to dance, cook, etc. Take a class. It is not much money, and usually one night a week, which I am sure you can fit into your busy schedule. Do this all the time and you will find you have quite a bit of talent that you did not know about.
Next time you have some extra money, unless you intend to save it, spend it on your appearance! Get better clothes, a haircut, join a gym. Spending $75 at a bar is not a good use of your money (besides, women should be buying your drinks anyway!)
And finally, pay attention to people who are socially successful!! Watch what they do and how they do it. Their mannerisms, what they talk about, etc. Watch the responses of people around them. Learn from it.
Now some of these seem obvious and this is about as surface level a guide as the confidence I talk about, but again the key here is that if you aren't doing these things, ask yourself how much you really care about improving yourself? Because if you can not do these simple tasks and take them to heart, then you can not begin to master life as something is stopping you. And that thing is self-loathing.
So yeah, you might be able to go out and successfully PU an HB9, you might even get some social proof from this and feel on top of the world. But the moment things turn the wrong way, and they always do, it comes crashing back down.
Find real confidence and love yourself enough to locate it. Unfortunately, if you have to ask how one learns to love themselves, than you need to put down the PU manuals and begin to dial a shrink to find out exactly what is going causing you to be your own worst enemy.
With love,