Anyway of getting out of the friendzone now?

[Merx]

Hi

Right, Ive been interested in the MM for a while now. I first heard about it on the Ricky Gervais podcast when Stephen Merchant mentioned how he had been reading The Game. So I went out and got the game but never finnished it (I intend to!)

So I forgot about MM for a while. Then by absolute chance I saw The Pickup Artist and have since caught up all the episodes I missed.

I have also got The Venusian Arts book and am currently over half way through.

Now. Before we go any futher, Im in the UK and training to be an actor at college. From what I can gather, college in the UK means something different to college in the US.

Incase it does, Ill briefly explain.

High school until 16
College 16-18/19
University 18/19+

Im currently in college and am 18. Its very hard to peacock simply because we have to wear all black, since its a neutral colour for performing in.

Long story short. I used to be fat, really fat. Now Im not fat. I aint exactly athletic either, but I have lost 4 stone in 2 years to give you some idea.

ANYWAY. This means everybody in my year at college knows what I was like before, and the "lower value" me. I have alot of friends who are female but Im no chump, I know Im in the friend zone.

I havnt been in the field as a PUA and therefore would not even hint at being a PUA. HOWEVER, is there anyway that given the current circumstances is there anyway for me to engineer the method to get myself out of the friend zone?

The problem is not that Im not getting IOIs now. I actually recognise IOIs since Ive lost the weight. The problem is, Ive spent 12 and 14 hour days with some of these girls, they know what Im like and how I behave. I cant just land a neg and expect it not to go badly.

Thing is, I like 1 or 2 of these girls, and they are giving me IOIs, but I feel any potential game I have is compromised by prior knowledge.

I will eventually get out in the field but I need to finnish reading The Game and VAH first.

Also, would ANY videogame branded item be a bad idea for the "1 interesting thing" used for peacocking?

Thanks in advance.
Merx.

[xenos]

Well, I am going to warn you that one-itis is a nasty disease. I don't know if you have other options, but starting fresh is always a good idea.

To answer your post:
You aren't the same person you were when you were larger. You need to show them that you are a completely different person now. Once they see you are different, they won't look at you the same way.

If you already are close friends, and they know you really well, I will suggest what has worked for me. You want to hang out with these girls, slowing turning 'hanging out' into 'dates'. Get closer than you are now, and slowly escalate kino.



As for peacocking, what you want to do is be congruent with yourself. Dress nice, but in a way that fits your personality. You can wear something videogame branded but unless it's something like Mario she won't be able to connect to it and like it.

Of course, this is all just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

[Merx]

Well, I am going to warn you that one-itis is a nasty disease. I don't know if you have other options, but starting fresh is always a good idea.

To answer your post:
You aren't the same person you were when you were larger. You need to show them that you are a completely different person now. Once they see you are different, they won't look at you the same way.

If you already are close friends, and they know you really well, I will suggest what has worked for me. You want to hang out with these girls, slowing turning 'hanging out' into 'dates'. Get closer than you are now, and slowly escalate kino.



As for peacocking, what you want to do is be congruent with yourself. Dress nice, but in a way that fits your personality. You can wear something videogame branded but unless it's something like Mario she won't be able to connect to it and like it.

Of course, this is all just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I get what you mean. Today she sat on my lap for quite a while, which she has never done before. And she has started touching my hand and arm loads. But then she just blows cold.

I think this has more to do with my severly lacking game at this point.

And the videogame question. Basically even if I was a master PUA I would still enjoy my videogames. But after reading about peacocking, when I walked into my gamestation today I saw this grey sweatband for your wrist, that had a red Nintendo logo on it and I thought that it could be good for peacocking, since the Nintendo is well known anyway, even more so now that the Wii is selling like hot cakes and girls seem to love it.

I know that one-itis is not the way to go when learning about being a PUA. But I intend to read all about the method before I go out in the field. Also because of my acting schedule getting out in the field for at least the new year is just not practical.

NEW QUESTION:

Like today when she sat on my lap, and when she grabs my arms n stuff. Should I keep it going for as long as I can to build kino or push her away after a short while to bait and reel her?

Many thanks in advance. Its nice to be becoming part of a community that has each others backs.

[Apolo]

Ok first of all sitting on your lap and touching your arms a lot = major IOI's
second changing looks over a period where u dont see someone and then seeing them again is not a dlv i would say it's a dhv because it makes them more interested in the new you...
as to what i would've done.. maybe something like "wow you like touching me a lot dont you (with a smile)" and then do a little bit of kino and then say (jokingly) "ok fun's over" and lightly push her away

[Merx]

Alright cheers man Ill give it a go tomorrow in rehearsals.

The reason I never picked up on it before is I used to have low self esteem for a long time, being just the fat friend. A girl I liked described me as her big brother once after all my "best efforts" (which I now realise were a load of "nice guy" crap.) One more thing though, although I am certain they are IOIs, she is one of these girls who hugs alot of lads, which I think is why I was so desensitised until now and realising they were IOIs. But she never sits on guys laps which is why I took such a double take and thought "well if this aint an IOI.."

Cheers guys, if the opportunity arises (aint always able to talk much in rehearsals) ill give it a go and let you guys know how it goes.

For future field work: I know girls like actors, and it would be a good DHV for her to know that like Im a performer and people pay to watch etc. But when should I play that card, in Attraction of Comfort?

Thanks.
Merx.

[Rooksmgook]

Sometimes if you cant bust out of the friend zone. let the 'friends' see you with another girl (who isnt just a friend). sometimes u can mistake ioi's for friendlyness, simply because theyre ur friends. you know ur situtaion best, if u think it can be dne, then do it, if not, let them miss u for a while.stopp chillen with them outside class, the best thing u can do is stop acting like thier buddy and start seeing other girls. go out and meet women and make it no secret. bring the girls around. nothing sparks interest like having a healthy love life

[Fantasy]

freeze out for a long while first.when you come back you must be different (not pretent). and then i guess you have to recognize the windows when she is open to you to go further but then you also have to get your butt away again. having other girls arround you its probably a good idea as long as you don't go to far...but how do you recognize going to far?

[Cenron]

Alot of good advise guys...I have had your problem many times and still do to this day...You are getting IOI's but you have already built comfort with them...so doing anything in the A1-A3 phase would be taking steps back. What I see is that you skipped the whole show your intent phase you do in A3 so you have to do damage control.

The way I ended up handling it was I used her as a pivot...go out with her...goto a public gathering use them to raise your value and sarge other girls but never ignore your pivots for a person you meet at the gathering because that will be a DLV, the fact that your into this new group so much that you will ignore your friends and remember same thing goes with your wing, So use this to your advantage...if shes interested in you this will create a Jealousy plot line if she is not you use her as a pivot to help you in the field its a win win bro.

[husky]

this is a great post , yea when im sarging i felt into the friend zone all the time ,and that s fucked up , how do you actually seperate urself from being a friend with her and being a sexual being in her eyes ?
man i find it really hard , because all my life i have always been that guy who got really close to the girl and never get them to have sex with me
and how do you recovered from some bad negs ,

[Merx]

Report I promised:

Today in rehearsals things did not get off to a good start. We have to do a dance warmup every morning but since I damaged my shoulder yesterday in a dance routine, it meant that I looked a bit mental doing moves with my arm tucked up against my chest and the other flailing about on its own. This wasnt a good start because she was constantly looking over whenever I looked to check.

As the rehearsals progressed out of the dance studio and into normal rehearsal rooms I started my game. Unfortnuatly I managed to piss her off at first because me and a few other members of our group got into an argument over the content of our current project. However we eventually got on with it, maybe not all on speaking terms, but got on with it none the less. I think me pretty much taking control of the debate and not losing my temper was a DHV, I was definatly the Alpha male of the group in terms of exacting my control and influence over others.

EVENTUALLY my chance arrived to be close with her. She picked me to pair up with for a scene which involved a stilted dance after being brought down from a raunchy one. As we were staging it she started off with her leg over my waist and my hand on her arse. I got a bit playful and squeezed twice, which she seemed to like.

Then as we had to keep doing it, when we got to the end of that bit and restart from the top, I pushed her off and said "ok youve had your fun" (cheers Apolo!) which she responded to playfully. As we kept rehearsing this section, when we approached each other I said "I hope you appreciate being able to touch me" and she responded with a "I do" and then giggled.

Later on as part of the raunchy bit, her arse hit my crotch area she started to laugh and said "You were too close" and I said "Well, you came off better if Im honest" then she laughed and hit me on the arm.

She went really cold later on and nothing seemed to be able to bring her round. A rehearsal enviroment is pretty difficult to game in, simply because you can and do get interrupted all the time by other performers or scene resets. So I put it down to that.

Any tips for me being able to keep her attention even when we are pulled apart for longish periods of time?

I think its a lost cause, at least in the setting of a rehearsal enviroment. But Im gonna keep practicing my negging skills etc.