LR: Leading with calibration

[yusha.p]

Me and a couple of friends were at a club in San Francisco and sarging. I was getting pissed off since all the sets I tried to open opened, but none of them were sticking for more that 5 minutes. I was having my usual state-problem again, with not being in state and not being dominant, and not being spontaneous and funny. Well, enough with that shit, I said to myself. I don’t care anymore. After approaching a couple of sets with this mentality, my state began to rise and I began feeling alpha again.

At one point, I was talking to one of my friends (O) about not giving a damn and trying to explain to him that it’s easy to approach, and I got a little pissed off while explaining. I said “look, you can do anything you fucking want man! Are you a coward? Do you care what other people think about you like a pussy???? Just be alpha and do what you want damnit, it doesn’t matter if it goes to hell. Look, I’m going to show you”

I looked around for a set to dominate just to show O that you can do what you want without caring, and suddenly this beautiful kind-of rocky punk-girl that I had seen earlier and fancied passed me. Perfect timing girl! I just reached out and grabbed her and pulled her towards me. “You have so FUCKING cool style!!” I said to her. I loved her style. Bleached hair, make-up that made her a little punk, nice, black dress and fishnet pants over her sweet legs. And her eyes – they reminded me of a wild cat, and I loved it! To me, she is a 9, because she is just my type. Petite, blond and nice body and rocky face. Objectively, maybe an 8.

“Thx!” she said and smiled, and started talking to me. I noticed pretty quickly that this was a party-slut, so I kept my fun, don’t-give-a-fuck style. She said something that made me understand that she is a dancing-queen, so I said “come, let’s dance!”, and grabbed her hand, leading her to the dance-floor.

I was in a great state now, thx to my earlier shift towards alphaness, and thx to O. When you feel like this, it feels like you can do anything you want. You don’t think at all, but you feel, and you are not afraid of anything. Normally, it’s the fear that’s stopping me, but now I was just saying what’s on your mind. When it is like this, you don’t have to think in advance about what you are going to say, and you don’t even wait for the other party’s reaction, you just say one word that comes to your mind without knowing what to follow it up with, and when you have said that first word, you have to come up with another word on the spot, and then another, and suddently you are spontaneously saying stuff that you could have not thought about in a hundred years sitting in front of a computer. You feel like you can’t make a fool out of yourself because you are more attractive than her. So you are not afraid. And so you just jump into the unknown and say something random, and then you follow it up with something. For me, this is always the state I’m in when I get girls. If I’m not in this state, though, I can have the best routines or whatever in the world, and it still won’t work.

This has made me shift my focus in sarging towards not learning new routines, and instead focusing on just feeling alpha. I have shifted a couple of times between being routine-focus and alpha-focused, and I notice that it is always when I am alpha-focused and just go in without knowing what to say that it goes best.

2 years ago, I was a self-tought natural. Together with my good friend and now MPUA Oracle of Sweden, I studied mostly DeAngelo, and I went out with Razorjack a couple of times. (By the way, I highly recommend reading Oracle’s blog on sarging as it is a step-by-step guide on how to pick up girls the first night and on how to improve your inner game, http://oracle-of-sweden.blogspot.com/ .) At that time, I was on my way of becoming a good PUA, and I was always alpha-focused. However, I never pulled through. A couple of things came in the way:

- I got two one-itises, one of them so heavy that it drained me of all of my energy and made me weary of the game.
- I became afraid that all I had learned was maybe just me being lucky – maybe I hadn’t leared anything, maybe it was just an illusion. I guess I got fear of success. Back then, I didn’t know that I was afraid. I interpreted these feelings as me being tired of fucking girls. Now I know better – I love fucking girls. I have always loved it. I was just afraid that if I continued, I would discover my flaws, that I wasn’t as good as I had thought
- Oracle of Sweden, my best friend and the one who I sarged with most of the time, left Sweden, and moved to Australia. I guess this got me a little.. well, not depressed, but lonely and unmotivated.

My solution was getting exclusive with one of my fuck-buddies and staying with her, and forgetting about game, just moving on in life. However, when some time passed, I found that I still had some loose ends haunting me. I still wanted to fuck girls. I still had this need eating my motivation for doing something else. I wasn’t yet finished. I was with her for almost a year, and when I began realizing that I had just been afraid and not at all tired of fucking girls, I found that I was no longer a PUA nor a natural. In the year that I was with her, I had rarely went out sarging. I found that the result was that I had lost many of my traits and abilities. Now, half-a-year later, I have recovered enough to be able to get a lot of numbers and kisses, but rarely one-night-stands.

My problem nowadays is getting into that state I was talking about. Just being social and having fun with people that I don’t even know, and talking bullshit without thinking. That’s my goal. That’s what I need to practice. And building up (once again) a strong identity.

In the middle of our crazy dance-session, this girl told me “If a guy acts too seriously, he will loose me.” I don’t remember exactly what I answered, but I said something about most people being too serious and that you shouldn’t think too much and instead be spontaneous and just have fun. She agreed. Some people will probably say that she was testing me, and maybe she was, I’m not sure. However, I see it more like she was helping me calibrate. I definitely knew that she was a party-slut now, and it was very helpful since I knew that the only thing I had to do was to have fun and lead.

(Continued below..)

[yusha.p]

Leading is key. Sometimes, I suddenly interrupted the dance and said “come, let’s go over there”. At other times, I said “I wanna dance” and pulled her to the dance-floor. I could do this since she was liking it, and didn’t resist at any time. Sometimes, I just took her and said “wait”.. and looked her deeply into the eyes, just watching her. I love her fucking eyes, they are so cat-like and sexy.

Finally, I told her “let’s leave this dump” and grabbed her by the hand. She said “but If I go out, I won’t be able to come back in since I’m just 20.” Me: “Ok, then let’s forget about this place and go to another bar”.

When we were going to get the jackets, however, she discovered that she had lost her ticket. Fuck! This is a very state-dependent girl, I thought, if we don’t leave while her buying-temperature is hot, she might change her mind. Apparently, she had put her ticket in her bra, and it wasn’t there any more. While she was groping her breasts, looking for the ticket, I got really horny and wanted to fuck her. But it could not be done. She let me feel her breasts too, “looking for the ticket”, and that got me even more horny. I was drunk, I was horny, and I am a breast-man, i LOOOVE breasts. And hers were sooo soooft. I just had to fuck someone tonight.

Ok, what to do? We had to be there until the club closed, since she could only get her jacket after closing-time. So i figured that in order to make her less state-dependent, I should build some connection. So I pulled her into a quiet place of the club and started talking about personal stuff with her. Apparently, she had anxiety sometimes, and that was an important subject to her, so in order to build comfort, I told her about when I was smaller and having anxiety, and how I got over it. But I could notice that this was boring her. My plan wasn’t working. Wtf, I just had to keep up the fun state until the club closed. It was just like less than an hour left now. So I pulled her back to the dance-floor, danced, made-out, sat down and rested, danced again and so on until closing-time.

My plan worked, but not perfectly. Her state was not as high as an hour ago, and although she wanted to hang around with me after the club closed, she now said stuff like “let’s just walk around town” and stuff like that, hinting that we’re not going to go home to me her. Or maybe, she was just helping me again, saying that “just give me a plausible deniability”. So that’s exactly what I did.

I said that there’s a place where we can get hot chocklade and tea. On the way, I prepared some extraction-tactics by talking about what kind of music we had in common, and saying that I had some Swedish music at home that she would probably like. I also started my anti-LMR (a.k.a. pair-bonding) campaign by talking about us getting together on Monday and going to kick-boxing together, and listening to that Swedish music.

When we arrived at the hot-chocolate place, UNFORTUNATELY :-) it was closed. Instead, I suggested that we go to my place and listen to that Swedish music, since I live just a block away. “Ok” she said gladly, and we went home to me.

At home, the vibe was a bit dead, but we took a cigarette and talked, and started kissing again. Then, laying down on the bed (with jackets and everything), continued kissing. I didn’t want to wake this girls’ ASD or LMR, so I took it really slowly. Kissing, talking, kissing, talking. Over to leg-rubbing-against-pussy and dry-fucking, back to talking and so on. Whe was getting more and more horny. One step forward, a couple of steps back when I sensed that resistance was about to be awakened, and so on. Finally, she removed her jacked. Now I could touch her soft breasts again. I just watched them and had fun with them, laughing with her about how funny it is that girls have boobs and not guys, and our fascination with them. Relaxed and fun mood with party-girl. “Let’s take off your top” I said, and she didn’t resist too much. Finally, she started unbuttoning my shirt, and it just escalated from there to fucking all night and being one of the best nights in SF for me.

Interesting to note, after fucking all night she told me that she hadn’t actually fucked for one-and-a-half year. I am not sure if I should believe this, since it’s a very long time for any girl, but still interesting to note.

I later asked this girl “when did you first realize that you were attracted to me?” The answer: “When you said that you liked to have fun and don’t care what other people think about you”. The lesson: This is an alpha trait to convey. I’ve done it several times to try it out, and it always get positive reactions.

Another lesson: LEAD, DOMINATE! Always. A real man shows what he wants and he goes after it. He is not afraid to express himself, and is not afraid of what others might think. A real man that is also smart add calibration into this, only expressing the parts about himself that will aid him in his goal. When leading, this man calibrates first by taking in the information that she gives you in order to help you to seduce her, then he uses this information to dominate her in a direction that he knows that she will follow.

It’s almost as like a circle of raising her state so that she wants you to escalate, letting her show you how to escalate, and then leading and escalating towards that point, making it seem like you did what you did because you are alpha and not because she helped you. Over and over again. Until she shows you that it is time to fuck her.